Best Of FNH, General: Food Network »
If Food Network Shows Had Honest Titles
“The Great Find Tyler A Stylist Race”
“5 Close-ups Of A Gorgeous Woman Eating” -Claire Robinson
“30 Ridiculous Faces with Rachael Ray”
General: Food Network, Reader Submitted Posts »
Closed Captions, Rachael Ray »
Rachael Ray Screencap Of The Week
(Thanks for the image, Dan! We’ll all be sending you our therapy bills.)
General: Food Network »
Aarti’s Already Planning On Becoming A Brand Whore
Aarti Army, rejoice! Your messiah already has “a plan” on how she’s going to flood the market with a bunch of crap with her face on it – or so she cockily said in a recent interview with the Houston Chronicle:
We’re sure you do, Aarti. We’re sure you do. Thanks for yet another reminder that selling shit is what Next Food Network Star – and Food Network in general – is all about. Personally, I just love the word “baby” thrown in there, too. It adds the perfect amount of calculated arrogance, don’t you think?
We thought we’d help Aarti out by coming up with a few products she could easily put her name on when Fogelson is ready to kick her “plan” into action:
Alton Brown, Ina Garten, Rachael Ray »
Ina Garten: How Easy Is That?
Heads up, Ina Garten fans – the Barefoot Contessa has a new cookbook on the horizon! Her last book was called Back To Basics, and this time around, she went with the slightly more annoying rhetorical question How Easy Is That. Sigh. You know what that means: it’s only a matter of time before How Bad Can That Be and its sequel, Giggles ‘n Shents, makes it to print.
Oh Ina. We kid because we love.
In honor of Ina’s new book, we thought it would be fitting to offer a depiction of just how easy certain things are. Ladies and gentlemen, THE EASYMETER:
Guy Fieri »
Guy Fieri: Flowmaster Pitchman
Did you know that before Guy Fieri was selling sweatbands and obnoxiously screaming in our faces, he was pitching auto parts for a company called Flowmaster? He was so much more subdued, and far less annoying. Check out his (gasp!) SOLID COLOR T-SHIRT and button-down tucked into his Sears jeans. And look! Nary a tacky piece of gold jewelry in sight!
Thanks to the magic of the internet, there’s video, too:
This is hilarious to me, because I always thought he looked like he just crawled out from underneath some loud muscle car. I’m not sure what’s more terrifying, though: the sight of him eating a 12 pound hot dog, or him coming at me with a large metal pipe.
We always say the Food Network turns people into ridiculous, exaggerated caricatures of themselves (think Paula Deen and Rachael Ray). That’s clearly true with Guy as well. And frankly, I’d take the old Guy over the new Guy any day.
Oh, and by the way, NICE DAD JEANS, FIERI!
FNH Podcast »
Food Network Humor Podcast: Episode 11
GIGANTIC HOUR LONG SHOW THIS WEEK!: Ina Garten’s “beginner” recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray’s daytime talk show, Aarti’s “accountability group”, Claire Robinson on Big Daddy’s House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli’s tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
(To save it to your computer, right click “Download Mp3″ and choose “Save As”)
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Thanks to Brie for the fun shownotes. Click to enlarge!
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
