[Ed. note: Most of the time, celebrities are completely clueless about the hoops fans have to jump through in order to meet them. Take Ashli for example, who recently wrote to FNH to share her frustrating story of simply trying to get a book signed by Alton Brown at a BJ's in Georgia last month. According to Ashli, when she finally did meet up with Alton, he cordially spoke with her - and then referred to the female dancers on Dancing With The Stars as "skinny ass bimbos." Oh Alton. You're such a bad ass.]
Hi FNH!
Last month, I went to an Alton Brown event. I took my “Good Eats: The Early Years” book with me for him to sign, but the stupid venue wouldn’t allow me in with it because I had not purchased it there. That pissed me off, but I took it back to my car and then went back in to get in line. However, I was then stopped and told I couldn’t go talk to Alton without having a book. By this point, I was livid, but I went to the book section of the store, picked up a copy of “I’m Just Here for the Food” and went up to the counter to purchase it. Then, the lady tells me that I can’t buy it because I don’t have a membership to the store (BJ’s Wholesale Club). Anyway, at this point, I completely lost it. I was not going to pay $50 for a membership to a store I’d never visit again, plus $25 for a book, when I already had a book for him to sign in my car! I couldn’t hold back my temper anymore and I gave that lady a piece of my mind. I guess she got the message because she then pulled out her own employee membership card and scanned it just so I could get my book.
Anyway, I finally got in line to talk to Alton. There were only about 30 people standing in it at this point (apparently other people were having similar issues to what I’d been having, but they chose to leave). As I got up to Alton and his people, I could hear them apologizing to people and complaining about how the store was running this event. They were making it clear that it wasn’t Alton’s fault of course. I was the last person in line and when I got up to Alton he still had about another hour or so to sit there and sign autographs. Anyway, since no other people were there at the moment, he actually took the time to talk to me. We talked about Mark Dacascos and his stint on “Dancing with the Stars”. Alton’s been asked twice to go on there, but he told me that he “didn’t want to dance with some skinny ass bimbo” and that if he were to go on there and win, he would “lose his status as a badass!” Then after speaking with me for a few moments and posing for a picture, he said, “Now be gone with you!”
Well, I just wanted to share my ridiculous Alton Brown experience with you. I’m including pics from the event. Feel free to use them if you want.
[Ashli, we're sorry you had such an awful experience. And Alton, we're sorry you had to stand in front of that stupid plastic sign and autograph books next to the feminine hygiene aisle.]
