POPHANGOVER
DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT
PARENTS SHOULDNT TEXTS
WRONG NUMBER TEXTS
DAMN FUNNY TEXTS
why siri why
AWKWARD NAMES
PARENT FAILS
EPIC WTFS
WHY DID YOU BUY ME THAT
The Pophangover Network Presents...
GET OUT OF THE MIRROR
REALLY GHETTO
FOOD NETWORK HUMOR
PICSAUCE PIC DUMPS AND VIRAL PHOTOS
The Worst Stuff Ever!
Yeah Flashback 80s 90s retro nostalgia and memories
INVISIBLE CATS
WORK LOLS
The funniest and scariest photos sent to twitpic
MY ROUGH LIFE

General: Food Network, Ina Garten, Things We Hate »

THINGS WE HATE: Barefoot Contessa’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix
Posted on December 1st 2008 by FNH Staff

Gas for car on way to store: $4.50, Box of cookie mix: $11.99, the look on my face when I saw them cooking in the oven: Priceless.

Let me explain. You see, if I have one purpose on this Earth, it just might be to tell people not to buy this box of cookie mix.
For years, I’ve watched Ina Garten on her show “Barefoot Contessa” and have thought to myself, “Geez, I bet that fat lady makes a mean cookie!” So when I saw her very own brand of chocolate chunks sitting on my grocery shelf, I knew I had to try them.

Let me preface this by saying, I love chocolate chip cookies! I know, odd right? But I really mean it. I am a chocolate chip cookie addict. It’s my weakness. I know a good one, and I’ve been with the best. Speaking of, Mrs. Fields, call me!

These cookies however, are quite simply some of the worst I have ever baked up at home or consumed in general. Let’s start off by stating that they cost over 11 bucks. I had figured it was because there were a few packets in the box, or that they made a large amount of cookies, but that wasn’t the case. Each box yields only 14 cookies. Yet, the serving size on the back says about 35 servings per container, so I guess when you are barefoot you consider less than half of one whole cookie a serving size.

As soon as they started baking up in the oven I knew something with downright amiss with these cookies. All of the chocolate stayed lumped up in the center, while the “flesh” of the cookie seemed to melt down and flatten along the sides, sort of like Bea Arthur’s face – only slightly chewier looking.

One I removed them from the oven my boyfriend and I decided to consume one. He told me they tasted “salty”. I told him they were some of the worst cookies I’ve had in my life. We contemplated plating the cookies up and having him pawn them off at work, but we didn’t want to subject his co-workers to these tasteless piles of grease.

Bottom line, do not buy these things – the texture, the taste, and the price really make for one of the worst Food Network buys I have come across. On a side note, I do love Bobby Flay’s cast iron grill pan.



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---How To Make An Episode Of Barefoot Contessa
---How To Make An Episode Of Barefoot Contessa
---Chocolate Chip Cookies Cartoon
---Barefoot Contessa: Beach Barbecue Photo Recap
---Alec Baldwin & Mariska Hargitay On Barefoot Contessa

    19 Responses

  1. Cuisineboy1975 says:

    Ok, now I’ve seen the Barefooted one’s products at Le Gourmet Chef for considerably less than what you would buy on FN.com. I received her Outrageous Brownies mix as a Christmas gift, and they weren’t that bad at all. Naturally, it took a little time to acquire a taste for dark chocolate brownies (when you’ve been raised on milk chocolate ones for eons) but I thought they were good.

  2. Biff Hooper says:

    $12.00 bucks for some fat jewish ladies premade cookie mix ? UH are you nuts ? WTF is wrong with you people ?

    I hope you can keep busting these FN stars who think they can sell you anything with their name on it.

    This is disgraceful.

  3. Kendra says:

    I got this cookie mix as a gift and was very disappointed with it. They were way too salty and they did leave a greasy film in my mouth.

    I don’t like this woman’s show, either. She’s too snooty, always talking about throwing this party and that party for her snobby friends. That’s not my world and I’m just fine with my real friends!

  4. Mick says:

    I made a very expensive brownie recipe of her’s years ago, and they were lousy. No one liked them. I think the ingredients cost over $20, and the recipe itself was a ridiculous pain-in-the-neck. I was young and naive, believing that because she was on the FN, she must be an ultimate cooking goddess (and me a lowly one-celled creature).

    She is a food snob who, like most FN “chefs”, pushes the philosophy that the more expensive it costs and the more difficult it is, the recipe is going to be much better than anything you’ve ever tasted.

    (And her bowling shirts and greasy bangs are just annoying.)

    I’ll take Betty Crocker over her any day.

    • reliantrobin says:

      I was going to say that the only foolproof brownie recipe I’ve found is the Betty Crocker cookbook version! Ha! The cookbook I work from is one from the ’60s, and let me tell you, their dessert recipes are foolproof and very easy to accomplish. I just make sure to buy the kind of chocolate I’d eat on its own and don’t sift the dry ingredients together and ta-da, brownie heaven.

      BTW, speaking of the original topic here, I’m perfectly happy with the Toll House recipe for chocolate chip cookies. Again, foolproof. But if I were to try out any celebrity chef’s chocolate chip cookie recipe, I’d try out Jacques Torres’s. Hey, he’s a chocolate pro and his cookies are supposed to rock! And they look like they’d cost as much to make as Ina Garten’s absurdly expensive mix.

  5. bunny69 says:

    I saw the same cookie mix at tj maxx for 4.99 but after reading this article I’m glad I didn’t spend the money much less full price!

  6. bunny69 says:

    O.k. no offense to gay guys but do you have notice that most if not all of the men who guest on her show are all flaming & flamboyant boys?! Or is it just me??? Hmmmmm…Maybe someone is a little insecure to have pretty girls guest on her show…Hmmmm???

  7. Gypsie Rose says:

    I hadda laugh but that’s so damn sad. These people push crappy shit as if it was the best thing ever. Once people get it home it either tastes shitty and/or works shitty. Someone oughta make a website solely to rate and discuss their products. I mean totally fair and professionally and then bring it to their attention at Food Network the evidence how shit their products are. But then they probably already know and figure we are suckers.

  8. William says:

    If I weren’t already turned off by the ridiculous price and I didn’t already make the best chocolate chip cookies ever without using a mix, this review would be sufficient to stop me from ever buying this mix.

    Also, woohoo! I finally made it all the way back through the archives. That is what I was supposed to do over winter break, right? And thanks to you, I can no longer watch the Food Network without thinking about how wasted I would be getting if I were actually playing the FNH Drinking Game. Thank you for that.

  9. Adele1981 says:

    It’s taken me a while but I’ve also made it through the entire FNH archive! I love the site and will be recommending it to everyone I know :-)

  10. Charles says:

    Where it all began…
    Ah, memories…

  11. Bonnie says:

    I had the pleasure of meeting Ina Garten this evening. 10/11/11 at 1770 House in East Hampton, NY. I bought her a cosmo and she came over to thank me. Of course, I fell apart crying. She is my idol. It was a lovely experience. I was shocked at how small she is. She cannot weigh over 150. Very small and very pretty.

  12. Rufus says:

    It’s unfortunate that there are adults that use this forum to make personal and unfounded attacks on someone when then actual purpose of it is to review the product. These people undoubtedly were bullies as children and still are as adults. Shame on you.

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved