Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Sandra Lee “Cool Kids” Cookbook

[note: yes, this is a real product!]

Attention, kiddies!

Are you unable to master the fine art of Semi-HOmade cooking because your parents won’t let you near their stash of vanilla vodka? Then stop eating that Play-Doh and listen up! You too can now get in on the  fun with Sandra Lee’s activity book, “Semi Homemade: Cool Kids Cooking!”

Each chapter is filled with lively illustrations that will make you want to trade in your Nintendo Wii-Mote for a santoku knife with dulled safety edges. With Sandra’s guidance, you’ll learn to focus on preservatives and butcher basic recipes – with nothing made from scratch!

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GIVE US A BREAK. Cool Kids Cooking? It’s more like Pre-Diabetic kids cooking. Who designed that cover, Willy Wonka?

This book is nothing but a collection of Sandra Lee’s demented, unhealthy food experiments with some badly drawn cartoons thrown in for good measure. Don’t be fooled into thinking it will teach your kids to enjoy cooking, because it will do just the opposite. By focusing on shortcuts, your kids will walk away with the message that cooking is much like watching old Baywatch reruns: a dreaded, miserable experience that should be minimized and expedited as much as possible.

BOTTOM LINE: Sandra Lee is telling kids it’s cool to cook with pre-processed foods that are high in sodium and fat, all in the name of making a quick buck. And that’s not funny… it’s just pathetic.

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

1. Fooddude

   January 24th, 2009

   that cover made me lmao, she looks like she is trying to shove a potato in that poor boys mouth EAT IT, ITS SEMI HOME MADE TIMMY!

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2. Fooddude

   January 24th, 2009

   oh and why does he have pink hair

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3. Hairball

   January 24th, 2009

   The title of her “cookbook” is extremely misleading.
   She assembles food, disassembles food, yells out Whoot! and gets drunk. That’s a college party, not a cooking show.

   Timmy, grab your friends and run away from the scary lady right now!

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4. Beth

   January 26th, 2009

   This is really a book that has been published? I thought you had made it up as a joke. This woman needs to be kept away from children.

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5. Genevieve

   January 26th, 2009

   And you wonder why so many American kids are obese. You let people like this publish toxic cook books for kids knowing full well the food is absolutely not good for you and we are supposed to admire a person like this ? IN France, this would not be allowed to happen. The world continues to shake it’s head at America. Perhaps your new President Obama will change some of this nonsense too.

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6. Jillian Madison

   January 26th, 2009

   Yes Beth, this is a real product. Sad but true! We’ll add a note to the post now to clear up any confusion.

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7. Rachel (S[d]OC)

   January 27th, 2009

   Semi-homemade popcorn? For real?

   Step 1. Open package of microwave popcorn.
   Step 2. Remove a packet. Tear off outer film
   Step 3. Place bag in microwave, following the instructions that tell you which side goes up.
   Step 4. Hit the “popcorn” button
   Step 5. Fix yourself a cocktail with vanilla vodka while you wait for corn to pop. Get so drunk you forget to listen for rapid popping to stop. Pull burnt popcorn from the microwave.
   Step 6. Throw the burned crap out and have another drink.

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8. Beasley

   January 30th, 2009

   My brother actually bought that cookbook for me as a gag gift last Christmas. I think my favorite “recipe” is her “Wild Teriyaki Wings” which is, essentially, a bag of Foster Farms chicken wings and a bottle of Kikkoman teriyaki marinade. How does she do it?!?
   Ohhhh and the out of touch slang peppered throughout the book is pure entertainment gold!
   “Learn how, then school the peeps.. or show the ‘rents wazup”!
   Wazup is she is a sad old drunk desperately trying to cling to her youth by pickling herself from the inside out.

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9. MetalChef117

   June 30th, 2009

   what a toolshed!

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10. Stephen

    January 12th, 2010

    I know this is a bit late but it I googled this because I was curious… Looks like a rip off of a healthy kids show.

    http://www.coolkidscooking.com/

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