NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.
Alton Brown: C-c-c-changes
---The Alton Brown Chat
---Alton Brown Is Right: Man vs. Food Is Gluttonous And Disgusting
---The Story Of One Fan’s Ridiculous Alton Brown Encounter
---UPDATE: Donations To FNH From Food Network Hosts (The Alton Brown Throwdown)
Alton Brown »
Alton Brown: C-c-c-changes
![]() |

Geeky glasses, spiky balding hair, pale skin, and a face smoother than a baby’s ass: OUT!
Grizzly beard, orange tan, blown-out hair, and a noticeable weight gain: IN!
Dear Mr. Brown, we here at FNH couldn’t help but notice the new look you’ve been sporting over the past few months. Change is good – as long as you don’t take it too far. So, here’s to hoping we don’t see you on PBS next month, taking over for Marty Stouffer and letting baby wolves eat of your mouth. Cheers and good eats.
Love, FNH.

Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Alton Brown Celebrating 10 Years Of “Good Eats” With Live Shows---The Alton Brown Chat
---Alton Brown Is Right: Man vs. Food Is Gluttonous And Disgusting
---The Story Of One Fan’s Ridiculous Alton Brown Encounter
---UPDATE: Donations To FNH From Food Network Hosts (The Alton Brown Throwdown)
- Alton Brown
Filed Under
Post your comments
LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved








THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.





16 Responses
he is looking so odd. the weight, the beard, the skin ton, but worst of all THE LONG HAIR, its creepy and balding.
i like the short balding, alton!
OH man that is funny. i was just wondering what the hell was up with his look. i think he did this just to prove he could tan and grow facial hair. as for the long hair he looks bad IMO
LMAO the picture of him with that Photoshopped beard is priceless. I saw those wolf people on ABC a few months ago. The woman quit her job to live on that wolf compound with that guy. I guess there are all sorts of people in the world.
He would have been a great spokesman for Welch’s grape juice … BEFORE he had his “makeover.” He’s kind of creepy now…
As much as I like Alton, this look is too much for me. I agree he looks creepy. He kind of looks like one of the weird people on the news. The ones your parents warned you not to talk to.
He IS creepy now! Egads! And I like Alton!
I thought the same thing! I want the old ALTON! I l-l-l-love the man but this look has got to go. Alton sans long hair and beard! The weight it fine, hell even the tan. I think its the hair and beard that are really driving me bonkers.
Hot damn. If he doesnt change his look back I demand someone else starts looking the the old Doc Brown. I want him back
Alton did a live satellite feed the other day on one of our local channel noon news program and I am happy to report he no longer looks like this. He was back to “normal”
almost every one on the food network has become a fatty
I too like Alton. Perhaps this photo was taken after he took a safari or something. Glad to hear he is back to normal.
If Alton was indeed to go wild, I wish he would tee-up on Kevin Brauch and beat the living crap outta that useless dolt. What an utter annoyance this roving “floor reporter” is.
I used to love Alton so much. Then he suddenly grew his hair out, got a tan and a scraggly beard and started shilling for Welch’s. He reminds me of Howard Hessman on “Head of the Class.” Mid-life crisis? I dunno, but it’s just sad.
The event that the NOW picture is from is when AB was at Gaylord hotel in Nashville in 08. You could have paid extra and have breakfast w/ AB. You were asked to show up in your pajamas since AB was going to as well (and did). So there is a little bit of reason why AB does look like he just rolled out of bed.
Hello Food Network!!! most of your viewers are of the plus size variety! Insulting Alton about his weight is insulting almost everyone who watches FN! Duh!
@ Marian: You’re an absoulute genius. Do you even know where you’re at? Try to learn how to read a URL, might save you some embarrasment down the road.
Dayum, you people are mean.