Guy Fieri »
HOW TO MAKE GUY FIERI
* 1 fake bowling shirt
* 1 pair of imitation Oakley sunglasses from local gas station
* 3-4 lbs of gaudy jewelry from a shop-at-home TV network
* 1 box FIERIA hair bleach (color #51: douchey blonde)
* 2 bottles of cheap hair gel
* 6 cups arrogance
* 1 neon sign
STEP 1. Apply bleach to head, and then sit under hair dryer for 3 hours to maximize lightening.
STEP 2. Practice smiling at yourself in the mirror until your smile successfully shows off every tooth.
STEP 3. PUT EVERYTHING ON: the bowling shirt, 4 pounds of jewelry, hair gel, and sunglasses. This is no time to scrimp.
STEP 4. Smile and strike a lame pose in front of a neon sign that’s bright enough to make your head look dull in comparison.
And that’s it! Congratulations! You just made Guy Fieri!
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- Guy Fieri