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Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Emeril’s JAZZ BAM Drumsticks
Posted on February 1st 2009 by Jillian Madison

emeril-drumsticksEmeril “Jazz Bam” drumsticks? MORPH INTO A KIT KAT AND GIVE ME A BREAK. This is simply ridiculous, and is yet another classic example of why Food Network hosts should stick to selling food related products.

First of all, the pun in the name is obnoxious. Enough said.

Second, Emeril is a CHEF, not a professional musician. In what world does the fact that someone is a casual drummer somehow suddenly give them the authority to have their own line of DRUMSTICKS? It doesn’t. That’s like Ellen DeGeneres selling motor oil on her website, because she drives a car.

One thing is for sure: they sure are excited about these drumsticks on Emeril’s website!!!! Just look at all the exclamation points in their product descripton!!!!!! Maybe if they are excited about them, we’ll be too!!!!!!!!

SALE! Emeril’s JAZZ BAM! Drumsticks

Our new Emeril’s JAZZ BAM! drumsticks are great for Emeril fans and music lovers alike.
Besides cooking, Emeril’s other great passion is for music!!!! Also used by Teddy on the Emeril Live Show shown nightly on the Food Network Channel, check your local listing.This is a great gift for children who watch Emeril or budding musicians!!!

We’ll leave you a final photo of Emeril showing off his fine skills on the bongo drums. You know, because you need DRUMSTICKS to play them.


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Paula Deen Hey Y’All Brooch
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Sandra Lee “Cool Kids” Cookbook
---STAY THE F*CK AWAY FROM MY MOTHER, EMERIL!
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Guy Fieri Sweatbands
---Emeril Has His Own Line Of Canned Meals For Kids?!

    16 Responses

  1. FoodTvFan says:
    February 2, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Anyone that would order these would have to have been smoking something. (like Michael Phelps)

    Reply
  2. Kyle says:
    February 2, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Just pathetic. I like Emeril and respect him for what he has done for culinary TV, but to start hawking garbage on his website is pretty desperate. It doesn’t make sense.

    Right now, some TV chefs should be absolutely ashamed of the shit they sell or endorse.

    Just recently, someone gifted me a Jamie Oliver Flavor Shaker. Thankfully I didn’t lay down the 25 bucks. This might be the most useless piece of crap kitchen utensil ever sold on US soil.
    I can honestly see Jamie Oliver sitting in his Essex manor laughing his tiny little testicles off, thinking he has exacted revenge on the “colonials” by selling them a gadget that serves no purpose other than being a paperweight.

    Reply
  3. chefcatt says:
    February 2, 2009 at 11:26 am

    It is almost like rachael ray selling dog food because she has a dog.

    no wait, that is more ridiculous

    Reply
  4. Jess says:
    February 2, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    OMG. I thought this was a joke until I clicked on that link. Emeril played in a portugese band when he was a kid, but he played the bongos. Is he that desperate for money that he has to sell drumsticks????

    Reply
  5. Alex says:
    February 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    No wonder these are on clearance on his website! Drumsticks?! His target audience is made up of chefs and home cooks… not drummers and musicians.

    Reply
  6. neo says:
    February 2, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    EMERIL FAIL.

    Reply
  7. Dave says:
    February 3, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    I think that Emeril could use a neck extension or something…not drumsticks…he seems to have the Julia Child head hang that she had in her 80′s God rest her soul! Now that was a Chef!

    Reply
  8. Machostacos says:
    March 25, 2009 at 6:36 am

    …actually those are timbales, and they, in fact, require drumsticks to play. Not saying Emeril needs a pair of drumsticks…clearly he does not, and as a drummer myself I’m even slightly offended. Just helps your cynicism when you’re actually right about something.

    Which you usually are.

    Cynics just come across as dicks when they’re wrong about something because then they become exactly what they’re being cynical about. Just saying.

    Reply
    • Matt says:
      December 25, 2011 at 1:13 am

      Smart on you. I didn’t even notice the timbale factor. To be fair though, most non-drummers don’t really know what a timbale is, though they look more like snare drums than bongos, even to a layman I’d guess. either way, keen eye.

      Reply
  9. Janie says:
    July 13, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    Didn’t he get accepted to Juliard or something? That means he did more than piddle away at the drums, one would think.

    Reply
  10. sasha says:
    July 14, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Janie, way to totally miss the point. The man is a celebrity chef. He has no Earthly business profiting off of drum sticks.

    Reply
  11. Jim says:
    July 26, 2009 at 4:39 am

    It was the Manhattan School of Music. And anything that promotes the arts is a good thing!

    Reply
  12. g1nks says:
    January 10, 2010 at 12:53 am

    Sorry to nitpick,but those are timbales(think Tito Puente) he’s playing,not bongos. They are normally played with sticks,but not regular drumsticks like he’s hawking. Glad I got rid of my cable!

    Reply
  13. g1nks says:
    January 10, 2010 at 1:00 am

    D’oh didn’t read all comments! As you were citizens.

    Reply
  14. Matt says:
    December 25, 2011 at 1:12 am

    I’d buy ‘em. I’m a cook, and a drummer. Vic Firth rarely, in my experience, sells crap. The way they’re being hawked may be… well, weird, but I doubt they’re bad quality sticks.

    Reply
    • Karen says:
      December 30, 2011 at 8:31 pm

      I’ve always bought nicely matched sticks from Vic Firth. However, 5As on clearance for $9.99? Seriously? I don’t care whose name is on them, and saying they’re great for children is weirder than the name. Children can use them, but that implies that Vic Firth scraped through some sub-par wood or tip shape that no pros would buy.

      Also, he looks more comfortable playing timbales in a seemingly unrelated photo than Fieri did whacking at some actual bongos.

      Reply

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