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Food Network Anthony Bourdain-isms
Posted by Jillian Madison

anthony bourdain takes on food network

Love him or hate him, there’s no denying Anthony Bourdain has a big mouth. I suppose this inspired MSN TV to post a collection of his opinions on various food shows and hosts. Here’s what Bourdain had to say about some of the Food Network personalities:

ACE OF CAKES

Anthony Bourdain: “I like this show. It’s kind of cool. I like Duff and the people he works with. That’s the real world of cooking.”

Iron Chef America

Anthony Bourdain: “Who are these douchebag [judges] they put on there? Jeffrey Steingarten at least knows what he’s talking about. The show gets really good chefs to go on there, and to have them judged by the likes of Mo Rocca makes me want to vomit in my mouth.”

Paula Deen

Anthony Bourdain: “Paula strikes me as a hard-working, likable woman. I’m glad for her success. I like her Southern-based shows, but I don’t know if I want to see her in a muumuu cooking a Hawaiian luau. That makes the blood run cold.”

Emeril

Anthony Bourdain: “I love hanging out and drinking with the guy. But I’ve told him to his face many times, “I love you and respect you. I just hate your shows.” But compared to who’s on Food Network now, he looks like Escoffier. In retrospect, that was pretty distinguished stuff compared to what that network’s doing now.”

Rachael Ray

Anthony Bourdain: “Rachael Ray now is a talk-show host. My wife watches her, I hate to admit it. She’s America’s little sister, because she’s a likable person. I think people respond to her because of her personality and not her cooking, which is pretty damned awful. She’s very nice, and I base this on no inside information: She’s big now, like Oprah big; the sooner she stops cooking, the happier we’ll both be.”

Next Food Network Star

Anthony Bourdain: “It’s an interesting window into the cynical and terrifying real criteria of how they grow their own talent on Food Network. I mean, they’re pretty straight-forward about what you’ve got to do and who you’ve got to please and what the real priorities are to get a show there. You see the shear naked ambition of these often minimally talented cooks with the maximum ambitions of being television. You really see the process though: Media training trumps cooking every time. I used to be on the Food Network, but I think I slipped under the wire. The network at that point used to be run by a cabal of people getting bored with their own programming. For whatever reason, they gave me two years of traveling wherever I wanted, doing pretty much what I’ve been doing on “No Reservations.” After two years, they wanted me riding around on a pony in a parking lot doing chili cook-offs instead of going to foreign countries. My feeling was, “Let someone else do that.”

Sandra Lee

Anthony Bourdain: “She makes her audience feel good about themselves. You watch her on that show and you think, “I can do that. That’s not intimidating.” All you have to do is waddle into the kitchen, open a can of crap and spread it on some other crap that you bought at the supermarket. And then you’ve done something really special.”



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---FOOD FIGHT: Anthony Bourdain vs Paula Deen
---Anthony Bourdain Wants To Get Drunk With Rachael Ray
---Sandra Lee Tells Anthony Bourdain To “Have Cocktail And Lighten Up”
---Anthony Bourdain Sold Out To Chase Sapphire Card On “No Reservations”
---Congratulations, ANDREW Bourdain

    22 Responses

  1. Lefty says:

    Anthony has calmed down in the past few years. I agree with most of what he says except the Ass of Cakes comment. It is totally possible that Mary Alice is “humming on his hoagie”. He does have a dark side to him.

    Wow, you gals have a good site happening here. An enjoyable read everyday. I hope some of these FN jaskasses read it. You see it clearly.

  2. Danny O says:

    Bourdain. The man is like an alcoholic with a TV Hosting problem.

  3. Neo says:

    Bourdain is smoking crack with those comments about Ass Of Cakes. How can he of all people like that show? It seems like it represents everything he’s against.

  4. Claudia says:

    I am in agreement with most of the boarders here — I think Brourdain has emotional issues and dependency problems. I don’t find anything he has to say worth reading. He should take his smokes and drink and go off and never been heard from again! He is a classless act!

  5. orchidgal says:

    Thanks for my daily allowance of laughter!

  6. LanaBanana says:

    giggling @ “Bourdain. The man is like an alcoholic with a TV Hosting problem.” beautiful. I love it.

    Bourdain is a total hedonist, and I dig that about him.

  7. Tatiana says:

    I think AB’s softening of attitude re: Rachael Ray has something to do with his wife being a fan of the show. She probably threatened to cut him off if he didn’t back up a bit and say something nice. Or else RR’s lawyers started muttering about libel.

  8. Tatiana says:

    Oh, I almost forgot. Yesterday’s travesty of a show with Paula Deen cooking in her PJs (complete with neck to knee foundation garments underneath!) has to be a new low for her. Please, Food Network, allow an older woman her dignity!

  9. DerekLutz says:

    Usually agree with Tony on many things “food” but his Ace of Cakes assessment must have come after drinking some exotic booze he brought back from a TN shoot.

    Duff is like P.T. Barnum, creating a business based on the “sucker born every minute” credo. I’m sure anyone could get some struggling art students to create a fake cake using clay and paint instead of fondant for about 10% of the CCC minimum of $1,000. Stop at Costco and pick up a sheet cake for $16 to serve when everyone is done ogling the sculpture that represents the party recipient’s life. I’m pretty sure the Costco cake tastes better too.

  10. Automne says:

    Actually, Costco cakes are pretty decent. My favorite is the chocolate cake with chocolate mousse filling and chocolate whipped cream topping (I’m not a fan of traditional frosting).

    Plus, they’re huge. You’re still eating cake every night a month later. And you’ve spent, what, $20? Versus over $1000 for some sculpture that is barely edible?

  11. Lefty says:

    Derek Lutz: You could not have said it better.

    I wonder what his customers buyer’s remorse level is like after one of his MINIMUM $1000.00 cakes ?

    And if you removed a Costco cake of it’s Kirkland brand labelling, most would figure it came from a cake specialty shop.

  12. M. O. says:

    Am I the only one who read Tony’s comments about RR and realized what a backhanded compliment it was? Seriously. He was only nice in that he didn’t call her a fat cow. He’s always mocked her on her cooking, and that’s never changed. I can’t actually think of a time he ragged on her personality.

    Plus…Jesus. I know everyone hates Duff and Ace Of Cakes like the Antichrist, but come on. If anyone read Kitchen Confidential, I can see where Tony’s coming from; everything he details about cooks as being the lower dregs of society who yet manage to do the impossible with food basically fits them. The cooks in that book sucker customers and yet give them what they want. And for gods’ sakes. You’re talking about customized cakes that aren’t from a supermarket. No other cake shop is going to be spectacularly cheaper, and some may be even worse for much more. And I doubt there’s many people who don’t goof off at their job if they can manage it.

    Yeah, I don’t know why this bothers me, but it really does. It’s a bunch of people doing their job, that just happen to have a camera on them. They’re not celebrities. They’re barely even cake makers. But apparently people like them and their work. They don’t act pretentious, and for the most part, they’re just dorks. So what. So damn what.

  13. Tennisluver says:

    OMG I’ve found my home! Other people who don’t like Ace of Cakes.

    I always thought their cake sculptures didn’t look that great, I’ve seen better ones on Food Network Challenge.

  14. Evan says:

    TennisLuver – no one here really likes Ace Of Cakes. Welcome!

  15. [...] his mouth about Food Network hosts. Last week, called his one time arch nemesis Rachael Ray “likable” – and now, he wants to pour back shots of tequila with her. Um, that’s a little creepy. What’s [...]

  16. [...] Anthony Bourdian, host of the Travel Channel’s No Reservations, best summed up the Scripps mentality: I used to be on the Food Network, but I think I slipped under the wire. The network at that point [...]

  17. tia says:

    Anthony, I would follow you around the world and eat weird things just to be near you. You’re so damnned cute….

  18. Gypsie Rose says:

    wonderfully said by some old dude who looks like a leather wallet. he is over baked skin cancer ahoy.

  19. [...] most dangerous person to America" and questions why Rachael Ray still bothers. The horse has been dead for awhile and really badly beaten, but this time, Bourdain even [...]

  20. Well I can’t believe that Anthony is threwing dirt at some some very good folks . For someone who’s show is going around these bacwater country’s and eating eyeballs soup or drinking donkeys milk or even eats turds off the ground will BBQ sauce remember. Anthony you are what you eat.oh by the way get a real show .signed. ALLAN BIG AL PICKLESIMER. LEXINGTON. NC. 27292 (336-247-1460)

  21. Stacy says:

    I don’t watch Anthony Bourdain. But we do agree on some things, except Steingarten. I think that guy is the biggest douche ever. Every time I see him as a judge on ICA, I cringe. I sometimes mute it when he’s judging and talking about the food. I can’t really explain why he gives me the willies.

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