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Bobby Flay: Throwdown v2.0
Posted on April 3rd 2009 by FNH Guest Blogger

by Ben Malone

The novelty of “Throwdown with Bobby Flay” has worn off with Food Network execs. Ratings are starting to suffer as viewers are getting tired of watching Bobby Flay lose his throwdown challenges week after week. So a FN thinktank has come up with an idea that they’re hoping will renew interest in the show. They’re calling it “Throwdown 2.0″.

They want to spice things up a bit and make the show a bit more daring. After all, what are the consequences when Bobby loses? His reputation remains in tact and he lives to cook another day. The idea is to have Flay invade other reality shows and challenge them to a throwdown related to the show’s premise. The problem is that the initial set of proposed throwdowns have all had the same expected outcome: bodily harm (and sometimes death) for Flay. Getting Bobby Flay to commit to a show like that has been a challenge to say the least. Below are some proposed ideas and why they were ultimately turned down.

1. Man vs. Nature vs. Flay

Bobby joins Bear Grylls as he’s dropped into some remote part of the world and expected to survive. Bobby is at least handy with a knife, and being on Iron Chef has given him experience with making meals out of all kinds of ingredients and under a serious time crunch. The fatal flaw in this idea is that if Bobby ended up in an area of the world where he can’t find poblano peppers, he would be unable to make any food that he’d eat and would end up starving to death before he got out.
2. Flay-vor of Love

Bobby joins Flavor Flav in scraping the bottom of the dating barrel in an attempt to find love. This show would fail because, well, let’s be honest – when the contestants would all rather eat at White Castle than enjoy one of Bobby’s Green Chile Burgers with Crunchy Avocado Salad, Bobby would say something to set one of the women off, and she would go all Jerry Springer on him and he’d end up catching a chaise lounge in the face.
3. Flay the Bounty Hunter
Bobby and his assistants Stephanie and Miriam hunt down fugitives and deadbeat dads, hoping to catch them before Dog and his crew, and thus, stealing the bounty. You know how they say to never bring a knife to a gun fight? Well, Flay and crew’s paring knives would not exactly strike fear into hardened criminals, and Bobby would find himself on the losing end of a confrontation with some meth addict with a gun. And even if he did capture the fugitive first, you think Dog and his crew, armed with semi-automatic weapons, would let Bobby steal their payday? Yeah, me either.
4. Intervention

Bobby takes the lead in helping people confront loved ones about their addictions. Why this fails: the group turns the tables on Bobby, and confront him about his addiction to chili peppers. They convince him to go to rehab, and he comes out, unable to cook anything since every one of his recipes has “a little heat”. He closes all of his restaurants and ends up washing dishes for Chef Morimoto.
5. The Girls Next Door to Bobby Flay

The idea was to have Bobby move into the house next door to the Playboy Mansion, and have him become Hugh Hefner’s new personal chef, but Bobby’s wife killed that idea before they could even propose it to Hef.

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Meanwhile… On Throwdown With Bobby Flay…
---Photos: Bobby Flay In His Youth
---Bobby Flay on Entourage: Part 2
---Bobby Flay Will Host 2nd Kentucky Derby Party
---The New Bobby Flay Promo Is Ear-Bleedingly Awful

    16 Responses

  1. Jason says:
    April 3, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    LMAO!!! Fantastic!

    Reply
  2. Hannah says:
    April 3, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    You know what? I’d actually love to watch half of those! Far more entertaining than another Cake Challenge! Well done :)

    Reply
  3. alex says:
    April 3, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    I’m still laughing at “poblano peppers”

    Reply
  4. danny o says:
    April 3, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Dude this is really funny. The pictures really make it.

    Reply
  5. scot says:
    April 3, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    what about the chipotles? the chipotles and their smokey flavour????? flay the bounty hunter pic was hysterical! he and stephanie break into people’s kitchens and rescue their meals by adding this over and over and over used chili. making everything taste exactly the same. shazam!!!

    Reply
  6. Kyle says:
    April 3, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Freaking hilarious. You call it satire. Bob Tuschman calls it “ideas currently in development” .

    They probably spend hours thinking of new ways they can use Flay and Fee-Eddy and you just gave them 5 more. Good Work.

    Reply
  7. Tatiana says:
    April 3, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    Figures. FN has a show where ratings are dropping like cow turds, so what is the answer? The exact same show to shove down our throats! Heaven forbid they should come up with a new concept. Anyway, this spoof was hilarious, especially the pic of Bobby the Bounty Hunter. I think he looks better with the new ‘do.

    Reply
  8. Kaye says:
    April 8, 2009 at 8:57 am

    The Bounty Hunter is no doubt the best! This site is crazy funny! Thank you!!

    Reply
  9. Cheri says:
    May 3, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Bobby, My friend Kristen of John’s Angels catering has challenged me to achieve her dream of a challenge with you. I am sure that you have thousands of requests for this each and every day, so how does one get this done?
    My friend is a top of the line caterer who has cooked all over the world. She brings to the table Ny Culinary school and cooking skills she learned in her travels abroad.
    I gurantee this challenge to be a challenge.

    SO if you know of how to accomplish this feat please let me know.

    Reply
  10. GRACE says:
    May 11, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    HEY BOBBY, We got a Challenge for you…My daughter is getting Married Next year 2010 June 19. Her future sister in law is owns a resturant and would love a shot to go up against you…she thinks she can kick your BUTT !! How about a wedding throw down…bet you never did that one before…We would love it….SOOO, YA UP FOR THE CHALLENGE..???? LEMME KNOW…

    Reply
  11. Fiona says:
    May 12, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Bobby Flay my father in law has the BEST ribs ever and i would love to see you and him in a throw down.

    Reply
  12. Fiona says:
    May 12, 2009 at 11:42 am

    NOT to mention he won a contest in his city for the best ribs and chicken Elbert County (Down South Cooking). LOL now lets see if you can compete against that. If so then please email me.

    Reply
  13. Food Network Humor says:
    May 12, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Fiona, I’m LIKE SO SURE your father in law’s ribs are finger licking good, but please check the disclaimers on every other page of this website that read: “WE ARE NOT THE FOOD NETWORK / WE ARE NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE FOOD NETWORK”

    Reply
  14. Rox says:
    August 22, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    OMG. Bobby Flay’s humor is harsh… And I love it. LOL! Can’t stand the guy… so arrogant.

    Reply
  15. Miguel Guajardo says:
    September 1, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Why not challenge back yard grllers? Maybe his ratings will go back up.

    Reply
  16. Mich says:
    September 15, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Hey!!! Don’t do that to Bear. Poor guy would really be in danger then — he’d starve to death for sure…lol

    Reply

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