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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved













THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.





35 Responses
Hilarious. Where do you come up with this stuff ?
I did not see that coming. Excellent.
Can someone tell me what happened to Mary Alice ? She musta gained a hundred lbs .
WOW, that GH picture is some old stuff!! Jesse Brewer has been dead for over a decade… lol
“As The Seasoning Packet Turns”
LOL
I’m pretty sure if Sandra Lee cut her finger some variety of seasoning packet powder would pour out!
Nicely done! I can hardly wait for your FN take on “the Young and the Restless” ….
*smiles*
Re: Nancy–Oh look…it’s Audrey Hardy!
They were all so funny, but the post regarding MAFY’s weight is so old and trite, she is still the same person on the inside, someones weight should not matter, she is hilarious, witty, has a fucking HOT brother, and is self confident. I also saw alot of backlash against Duff and Geof (SABRINA!!!!!), so if you have to think that hard to come up with a thesis about them, you must watch the show and care enough to pick up on your own little fantasies regarding those two men. Duff worked hard to get where he is in life…who here owns their own business, owns the building, every thing inside, and still is a really great boss, friend, lover to Sophie and a brother to Willie and Luke. Who here can do what Geof does for a living, enjoy coming to work, loves what he does, embraces his talents, is a lover to Jess, and a great “daddy” to Cotton? I can not believe she would sink so low to be so negative. SHEESH
i like a woman with a little bootie-ful, who doesn;t!
Jillian – honestly, love you, love the site (the Guy Fieri douche-meter was fucking hilarious) – and while I’m not a blind Ace of Cakes defender (some of your posts ARE classic), but constantly hitting on a woman’s weight just seems like a little below the belt. You’ve got a great site here, but wouldn’t it be better to find the humor and snark in the shows, rather than in the same, repeated personal attacks?
Anon and Shalom, you guys are weak. Calling someone “booty-ful” is not a horrific personal attack. Stop acting like the fake soap opera was titled “The Bald And The Fat Ugly Bitch.” If it was, then you’d have a leg to stand on. Stop being so hypo-critical and lighten up
FNH, don’t listen to these people crying the blues. The site is hysterical and the post was hella funny and keep it up!
EPIC POST…… everybody in my office loved it, nice
OH seriously Anonymous, over-react much!?!? LMAO
1) Mary Alice IS bootyful so how is that suddenly some huge insult?!
2) Stop acting like every post on this website is calling Mary Alice some fat pig, she has, what, 2 other posts on this entire website about her?! And they’re about her ugly hair.
3) I agree with Micah. The post was tastefully done and you are being unnecessarily sensitive. Who are you mary Alice’s mother?!
Days Of Our Dives was my favorite. I’ll be chuckling about that one for awhile.
oh stop whining that someone called mary alice bootyful. oh god forbid. give me a break!!!!! bootyful is putting it so mildly.
General Hospital Food is even funnier because Aaron McCargo was a hospital chef before becoming a FN Star.
Laughed my arse off. Loved it JM!
Thanks for the laughs. I check here each day to see if you’ve come up with yet another wild and wacky take on FN and its stars.
I am just stating that every time there is a post about her it is about her weight, it is getting old is all. I think she knows what to do if she wants but maybe Dave likes her a bit more voluptous, my hubby sure does!!!! And holy screaming sushi, DUFF IS BALD OR SHAVES HIS HEAD, so what the man looks sexy, humpalicious, and just plain adorable (just like his ever so wonderful, super sexy, Exec Sous-Chef Geof).
Shalom your post pissed me off. You wrote “every time there is a post about her it is about her weight” and that is hardly the case. Ive taken the liberty of collecting every post about Mary Alice on this website, and only one of them was about her weight.
Post 1:
Ace Of Cakes Cartoon. Not about her weight.
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/03/ace-of-cakes-king-of-the-hill-characters/
Post 2:
Mary Alice’s clipboard. Not about her weight.
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/03/look-a-little-closer-mary-alices-clipboard/
Post 3:
Mary Alice’s earrings. Not about her weight.
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/02/other-uses-for-cookie-cutters/
Post 4:
Mary Alice gettin’ a snowball to the head. Not about her weight.
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/01/barack-obama-snowball/
Post 5:
Numbers In The News. A dig at her weight:
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/01/numbers-in-the-news-8/
Post 6:
Open thread, Mary Alice Love Her Or Hate Her (NOT ABOUT HER WEIGHT)
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/01/open-thread-mary-alice-love-her-or-hate-her/
Post 7:
Search Terms “Is Mary Alice A Pretty Name” – NOT about her weight
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/02/search-terms-that-led-people-to-fnh/
———
The moral of my story is Mary Alice has been mentioned on this site seven other times. ONE of those times was about her weight. That hardly constitutes “every time there is a post about her, its about her weight”
So get a grip!
Fine I will leave it at that.
Beyonce has an entire song dedicated to the bootilicious booty, so how big of an insult can it be?!
Does she Jillian? I dont listen to her so thats something learned today!!
My prednisone-enhanced butt can inspire a whole album!
Yes, Shalom… the song is called Bootylicious, by Destiny’s Child. Here’s the video. I’m sure you’ve heard it before.
I don’t think Mary Alice is ready for this jelly!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPR1d0gPKL8
As I said I do not listen to her or her genre, I am a metal and rock chick so this is NEW to me!!!! I will take a listen though.
I think “Shalom” works at Charm City Cakes by the sound of it. Let me guess.You probably listen to Clutch.
Regarding Mary ALice’s weight. She has morphed into Barney Rubble in only 2 yrs. She needs to join a gym if she wants to continue faithfully serving her masters.
Goodness…The ankle-biting is SOooooo much Fun!
OK I don’t know anything about Mary Alice, but are you telling me the woman pictured above is the same as the redhead with the tiny bangs in those other Mary Alice posts?
OMG!!! Do you guys have lives???? If Mary Alice doesn’t care about her weight, why should you? GEEEZ! Frankly, I would LOVE to have Mary Alice’s life: Great job, awesome boss, get to go to fab parties and be on TV every week! WOW. She’s my idol!
SHALOM has to work at Charm City to account for the defensiveness about the place and its characters.
Either that or she got FAT like Mary Alice.
Aloha = Shalom
I think Mary Alice actually looks better in the pic above.
hey HEY stop the fighting! its food network humor not fighting over opinions. i believe the cooks dont care. i mean when your working to be a best cook don’t you have to laugh at yourselvs when you make mistakes? so CHILAX! unless there was a lawsuit from contessa then i wouldn’t stress out.
and do you hate it when after rachel says ‘dont go away’ indicating a commercial the music plays and the camera remains on her? its like”Ok you heard black out and go to the a commercial already.
Plus if sunny cut off her finger she still make a joke a contiue cooking. *happy pills* who said that?