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Best Of FNH, General: Food Network »

Famous Foodies By The Smell
Posted on May 28th 2009 by Jillian Madison

alton brown photo
ALTON BROWN: chalk, grape juice, and old library books
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anthony bourdain smoking photo
ANTHONY BOURDAIN: stale Marlboros, vomit, sweat, and dusty record jackets
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giada smiling photo
GIADA DE LAURENTIIS: garlic, lip gloss, Crest, and old money
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anne burrell eating photo
ANNE BURRELL: hair gel, beef gravy, and meatball sandwiches
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bobby flay photo
BOBBY FLAY: charcoal, peppers, and sunblock
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guy fieri photo
GUY FIERI: Diesel car exhaust, month old fry oil, body odor, and desperation
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ina garten photo
INA GARTEN: tea rose, denim, and sea spray
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andrew zimmern photo
ANDREW ZIMMERN: Cat Hai fish sauce, dirt, bacon, and Pepto Bismol
(Note: Andrew thinks we forgot coffee and shaving cream)
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paula deen photo
PAULA DEEN: Aquanet, spray tan, Polident, and stale Winston cigarettes
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rachael ray photo
RACHAEL RAY: pleather, Luden’s cherry lozenges, and burnt toast
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sandra lee photo
SANDRA LEE: wine coolers, vodka, gin, peach schnapps, and liverwurst
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Famous Foodies By The Smell (Part 2)
---Where’s Andrew Zimmern NOW?
---Congratulations, ANDREW Bourdain
---Top 10 Famous Foodies That Look Like Old Lesbians
---Thanks, Andrew

    33 Responses

  1. Jen says:

    I would think that Ferry smells like the way your hand smells after you’ve held change in it for awhile and it gets all sweaty and metallic. And also, bologna.

  2. Alexis says:

    I loved this!

    (PS, Giada looks awfully wrinkly in that photo.)

  3. dan says:

    You nailed Bourdain. Dead on.

  4. Judith says:

    Ina Garten: GOOD Vanilla!

  5. uknowwhoiam says:

    Great post! May I add:

    Tyler Florence – rack of lamb, axe body spray, and moth balls.

  6. Jenna says:

    L-O-V-E-D IT!

    I’d like to add my two cents:

    Sunny Anderson – salsa, velour, and wig glue.

  7. frenchfille says:

    This is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen online in a long time. Spot on. Thanks!

  8. Lana says:

    Noah Starr: Clearasil, HGH and Teen Spirit

    Great post FNH – nailed the lot of ‘em.

  9. Greg says:

    Paula Deen – stale Winstons, Dog urine & panty skidmarks

    Sunny Anderson – blunt spliff, Malt Duck & vomit

  10. Greg says:

    oops!…forgot one…
    Guy Fee-Eddy – body odor, devil’d eggs with garlic breath & cream of “sum yung guy”

  11. Shauna says:

    LMAO. I’m trying not to laugh so loud in my office. The walls are quite thin.

  12. sam-i-am-not says:

    This is the funniest… the most creative… the best post I’ve seen anywhere, in ages.

    LOVE THIS SITE!!!!!

  13. Megan says:

    Is Bourdain even on the FN anymore? I thought he’d packed up and headed to the marginally-classier environs of the Travel Channel long ago.

    Megan @ adventuresofacarnivore.com

  14. Megan says:

    You forgot the Neelys: BBQ sauce, KY jelly, and lard.

  15. Sara says:

    Bourdain and Zimmern are on Travel Channel. I suppose that’s why the authors titled it “Famous Foodies” instead of “Food Network Chefs.”

    Love this post — it’s going viral around my office building today :)

  16. Teague says:

    Giada is classic new money.

  17. Buckykatt says:

    & cream of “sum yung guy”

    Think I’d peg that one on Zimmern. He’s always describing things as tasting nutty

  18. Missy says:

    Oh God I can’t stop laughing. Great post. One thing you forgot about Paula Deen…something tells me she smells like melted butter and bacon on top of the other things you mentioned. :)

  19. Kathy says:

    I have to agree with the “good vanilla” for Ina, but otherwise – excellent job!

  20. Jon McKenzie says:

    For Bobby, you forgot to mention Brylcream.

    For Tony, add Jade East cologne, but not enough.

  21. Tatiana says:

    For Giada: RIG-AHHH-TONNNN-EEEEEEIIIGHHHHH, SPAHH-GITTTTTT-TEEEEEEHHHHHH, PANNN-CHEEEETTT-TTAHHHHHHH.

  22. Shannon says:

    For A. Bourdain you forgot dead hookers

  23. Shannon says:

    & amazing post i lol’d the whole time!

  24. Barney says:

    Marc Summers: Talcum Powder, Anti-Bacterial Hand Soap, Vitalis, and Insincerity.

  25. Sandra says:

    OMG that’s freakin’ hilarious!
    Nigella Lawson: pudding, prawns, roast beef drippings
    For Raytard don’t forget the marlboro’s

  26. Kyle says:

    This is some of the most original writing I’ve seen in ages. I am afraid you gals will be “discovered” and be offered the big bucks and sadly this blog will end.

  27. Nutmeg Nanny says:

    Spot on! I love that you paired liverwurst with Sandra!

  28. Bob says:

    I’d add store-bought frosting for Aunt Sandy — although that makes too many ingredients. I wonder if she could just buy the smell.

  29. JB says:

    Rachel Ray: Laughing Gas, Newports, Izaboo

  30. Britt says:

    Ha ha – I could not stop laughing!!! But I think you forgot butter and grease for Paula Dean and plastic for Sandra Lee :). I love your site, great job!

  31. Sonia says:

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUY IS SO NASTY!!!!

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