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Famous Foodies By The Smell
Published on: May 28, 2009 – 12:56 pm by Jillian Madison 
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ALTON BROWN: chalk, grape juice, and old library books
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ANTHONY BOURDAIN: stale Marlboros, vomit, sweat, and dusty record jackets
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GIADA DE LAURENTIIS: garlic, lip gloss, Crest, and old money
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ANNE BURRELL: hair gel, beef gravy, and meatball sandwiches
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BOBBY FLAY: charcoal, peppers, and sunblock
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GUY FIERI: Diesel car exhaust, month old fry oil, body odor, and desperation
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INA GARTEN: tea rose, denim, and sea spray
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ANDREW ZIMMERN: Cat Hai fish sauce, dirt, bacon, and Pepto Bismol
(Note: Andrew thinks we forgot coffee and shaving cream)
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PAULA DEEN: Aquanet, spray tan, Polident, and stale Winston cigarettes
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RACHAEL RAY: pleather, Luden’s cherry lozenges, and burnt toast
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SANDRA LEE: wine coolers, vodka, gin, peach schnapps, and liverwurst
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Famous Foodies By The Smell (Part 2)---Where’s Andrew Zimmern NOW?
---Congratulations, ANDREW Bourdain
---Top 10 Famous Foodies That Look Like Old Lesbians
---18 Unusual Ice Cream Flavors From Around The World
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten porn, Giada's gone Chinese, a review of Giada's Parmesan Garlic Dipping Sauce, Paranormal Cake Challenge, Down Home with the Neelys and Gina's rude sister, NFNS recap, tons of listener mail, and more!
I would think that Ferry smells like the way your hand smells after you’ve held change in it for awhile and it gets all sweaty and metallic. And also, bologna.
I loved this!
(PS, Giada looks awfully wrinkly in that photo.)
That’s because she’s got her mouth open so damned wide all the time she’s stretched her face!
You nailed Bourdain. Dead on.
Bravo!
Ina Garten: GOOD Vanilla!
Great post! May I add:
Tyler Florence – rack of lamb, axe body spray, and moth balls.
L-O-V-E-D IT!
I’d like to add my two cents:
Sunny Anderson – salsa, velour, and wig glue.
This is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen online in a long time. Spot on. Thanks!
Noah Starr: Clearasil, HGH and Teen Spirit
Great post FNH – nailed the lot of ‘em.
Paula Deen – stale Winstons, Dog urine & panty skidmarks
Sunny Anderson – blunt spliff, Malt Duck & vomit
oops!…forgot one…
Guy Fee-Eddy – body odor, devil’d eggs with garlic breath & cream of “sum yung guy”
LMAO. I’m trying not to laugh so loud in my office. The walls are quite thin.
This is the funniest… the most creative… the best post I’ve seen anywhere, in ages.
LOVE THIS SITE!!!!!
Is Bourdain even on the FN anymore? I thought he’d packed up and headed to the marginally-classier environs of the Travel Channel long ago.
Megan @ adventuresofacarnivore.com
You forgot the Neelys: BBQ sauce, KY jelly, and lard.
Bourdain and Zimmern are on Travel Channel. I suppose that’s why the authors titled it “Famous Foodies” instead of “Food Network Chefs.”
Love this post — it’s going viral around my office building today :)
Giada is classic new money.
& cream of “sum yung guy”
Think I’d peg that one on Zimmern. He’s always describing things as tasting nutty
Oh God I can’t stop laughing. Great post. One thing you forgot about Paula Deen…something tells me she smells like melted butter and bacon on top of the other things you mentioned. :)
I have to agree with the “good vanilla” for Ina, but otherwise – excellent job!
For Bobby, you forgot to mention Brylcream.
For Tony, add Jade East cologne, but not enough.
For Giada: RIG-AHHH-TONNNN-EEEEEEIIIGHHHHH, SPAHH-GITTTTTT-TEEEEEEHHHHHH, PANNN-CHEEEETTT-TTAHHHHHHH.
For A. Bourdain you forgot dead hookers
& amazing post i lol’d the whole time!
Marc Summers: Talcum Powder, Anti-Bacterial Hand Soap, Vitalis, and Insincerity.
OMG that’s freakin’ hilarious!
Nigella Lawson: pudding, prawns, roast beef drippings
For Raytard don’t forget the marlboro’s
This is some of the most original writing I’ve seen in ages. I am afraid you gals will be “discovered” and be offered the big bucks and sadly this blog will end.
Spot on! I love that you paired liverwurst with Sandra!
I’d add store-bought frosting for Aunt Sandy — although that makes too many ingredients. I wonder if she could just buy the smell.
Rachel Ray: Laughing Gas, Newports, Izaboo
Ha ha – I could not stop laughing!!! But I think you forgot butter and grease for Paula Dean and plastic for Sandra Lee :). I love your site, great job!
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUY IS SO NASTY!!!!