General: Food Network »
We know you guys are getting excited about Next Food Network Star Season 5, and we are too. So, we thought it would be a great idea to feature some brief, lighthearted e-mail interviews with some of the contestants to help you get to know them a little better before the show starts next month. To get the ball rolling, I sent the following e-mail to Lisa Krueger, the Food Network’s director of public relations:
We wanted to run a few interviews with some of the NFNS contestants. Nothing mean spirited, nothing satirical, just a “get to know your chefs” type thing. I wanted to run it by you before actually sending out any questions or posting anything on our site. I understand topics are obviously off limits (as in talking about the winner, etc), so rest assured we wouldn’t even go there.
We have lots of site visitors with lots of interest in this show, and I think a few interviews would get people even more excited for the premiere.
The next day, I received this snide, patronizing email from Lisa Krueger:
This is Lisa Krueger from Food Network PR. [Gee, thanks for clarifying - I thought I had emailed Santa Claus.] I’m so happy to hear that your readers are interested, but as I’m sure you can understand, unfortunately we will not be able to set up any interviews for your site. Let me know if you have any further questions, thanks!
We all know when you see “Thanks!” at the end of the email, it’s the equivalent of the person writing “Screw you and die, bitch!” But still, I wanted to give Lisa the benefit of the doubt. So, I sent another email asking for clarification:
Are you saying they are not allowed to do interviews at all, or specifically not with Food Network Humor?
The next day, she replied with another patronizing email that once again showcased the word “unfortunately”:
Unfortunately they cannot do interviews with Food Network Humor.
That’s right! A Food Network PR rep denied our request for friendly interviews because we poke fun at the Food Network! How ridiculous is that?! Who turns down free publicity?! How stupid, and what a slap in the face to fans like us who appreciate the Food Network, but also enjoy laughing at its undeniable silliness. Apparently Lisa Krueger enjoys sitting high on her horse in some fictitious alternate world that exists only in her own feeble little head… a world in which she’ll only grant brown nosers and ass kissers the HUGE PRIVILEGE of interviewing virtually unknown chefs. Please. Reality, paging Lisa Krueger on line 1.
So. Once I stopped laughing at the lame, juvenile updates on Lisa Krueger’s twitter profile (“Starting the weekend with champagne and “Twilight”, bring on the vampire hotties!”), I composed myself enough to send one last e-mail back to Freddy Lisa Krueger:
I approached you professionally, with nothing but good intentions, to help you promote your show, free of charge. Don’t they teach you “any publicity is good publicity” on page 4 of the “So You Wanna Work In PR” handbook?
Ironically, we started this site because we felt the Food Network and some of its chefs desperately needed to lighten up and learn how to laugh at themselves. The fact that you were so quick to brush us off – when so many of the Food Network chefs themselves have embraced us – is just further proof of that. [Some of the Food Network personalities themselves have contacted us, and have gracefully exhibited humility the ability to laugh at themselves.] And yet you “won’t set up” an e-mail interview with relatively unknown competitors? That’s laughable. You’re acting like I’m asking for a sit down with Bobby Flay.
We’ll still be covering NFNS5, with or without your help. And unfortunately, as I’m sure you can understand, since you’ve chosen to make us an enemy instead of a friend, I’ll also be alerting the Food Network Humor readers about your unwillingness to cooperate.
So there you have it, Food Network Humor readers! UNFORTUNATELY, Lisa Krueger hates you. She neither respects your right to information nor values your opinions as a Food Network viewer. If you think she is being ridiculous, we urge you to share your feelings and write her an e-mail telling her to lighten up. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org, via telephone at 212-401-2430, or via fax at 212-302-7896. Tell her Food Network Humor sent you.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---Farewell, Lisa Krueger, Farewell
---ALERT: FNH Member Accounts Temporarily Disabled
---If I Ran The Food Network…
---UPDATE: Donations To FNH From Food Network Hosts (The Alton Brown Throwdown)
---Bob Tuschman Insults The Next Food Network Star Contestants
- General: Food Network