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Guy Fieri’s On Twitter
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Guy Fieri is on Twitter, and he’s cranking the dial on his OBNOXIOUS AMPLIFIER all the way to the right:
If you can stomach looking at that annoying picture for more than 5 seconds, one thing becomes abundantly clear: Fieri’s ego is more out of control than an 18-wheeler being driven downhill by Stevie Wonder in an ice storm. He’s more in love with himself than any human has a right to be, and that’s incredibly evident in his Twitter profile. Aside from the self indulgent photo, and the signature which any handwriting analyst would deem written by someone clearly in need of an ego check, Guy is only following one person (chef Carl Luiz), which in Twitter-Speak clearly says: “I don’t care what any of you have to say, but I want you to know every time I wipe my ass.”
Though he’s only been twittering for a few weeks, he’s already given the world plenty of fodder for amusement. He’s also proven he’s not as dumb as we all thought he was… he’s dumber:
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THE BIG T? That must stand for “The Big Tool.” What are we supposed to “hold on tight” to? Your sunglasses or your pinky ring? |
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Guys, Mary J Blige is gonna be hittin’ us up with da 411! Lucky us! . “Bummer i was think i was?” Here’s a quarter, Fieri, call your elementary school grammar teacher and apologize. |
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Being surrounded by nicely dressed people with class is LIKE SO KEWL! |
We’ll be checking in with Fieri’s twitter regularly here on FNH. Until then, you can follow Fieri on Twitter here and you can follow Pophangover (that’s us!) here.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Food Network Humor is now on Twitter!---5 Things Guy Fieri Could Do To Be Less Of A Douche
---TWITTER WEEK ON FNH: Day 1 [Guy Fieri]
---Guy Fieri Now Has His Own Line Of Ugly Sunglasses
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Guy Fieri Sweatbands
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20 Responses
This farging icehole has no right to call himself a chef. What a farging corksorker he is turning into.
I hate the way he screams at you with that hoarse, sportsbar-at-half-time voice. And that refrigerator is really ugly.
he looks like a rejected wrestler
Pet Peeve #487: Dicks and dumbasses who spell “cool” “kewl.” It’s the same amount of letters and it’s less effort to spell the damned word correctly! Why do we need a retarded alternate spelling that doesn’t even really represent how the word is pronounced? What, you people can’t understand context thus need “kewl” to help you along?
that photo of him makes me want to punch my fist through the wall. and i’m a peaceful man.
why is he writing like that? KEWL, DA 411, HIT YA UP. he is coming across like a desperate middle aged man having an identity crisis.
Just what you guys needed, more material from the Big G… this blog will write itself
as i’ve said before, what an asshole……
WTF??? I see a very large brick wall, smoke and a padded cell in this guys future. And I am afraid he may be sharing the cell with Rachael Ray if she does not slow down either!
What is up with these out of control FN Celebs! Slow down and stick to cooking fools!
Pretty par for the course for the Billy Mays of morbid obesity.
I dunno–I’d still fuck him. If just to get him to shut up.
@AnonInSoCal. Too funny!
From the news of the weird, imagine Guy Fieri and Ron Jeremy at the same event at the same time. In Southern CA, last Sunday night.
Add in Steven Tyler and Greg Brady (what’s his real name?) … felt very Twilight Zone ….
Lana,
Barry Williams played Greg Brady
Am I the only one who misread his signature in the background as “Gay!” At first glance, I didn’t notice Guy on the right and thought it was the title of a new talk show on Logo or something.
Chef?! my ass.
I live how he’s bragging about having a “bberry” but he’s clearly to cheap to spring for a data plan for this bberry… all of his updates are text messages.
sorry, meant to type “I LOVE how he brags…”
He’s three years older than me, but he sounds like a hipster wannabe twelve-year old. I hate when middle-aged douche bags try desperately to sound cooler than they actually are. Oh wait, I meant kewler than they actually are.
Did any of you see the episode of Ace of Cakes where they made a cake for him? I thought the sheer amount of doucheness between Guy and Duff would cause the Apocalypse and was actually, kind of looking forward to it if for no other reason than to remove the image from my brain.
[...] wearing nearly enough tacky bling. Speaking of Fieri, he’s now on Twitter. Geez, he writes like a 13-year-old girl with [...]
From his Twitter Log:
“Up in kelsyvill ca, Goin to Lynard skynard with the krew, brought some killer food from johnny garlics for the band. Gonna be a rockin nite”
This is horribly perverse on many levels, but the one that stands out for is that he’s feeding Lynard Skynard food from Johnny Garlic’s. For Chrissakes, these guys have been through plane crashes and the Nixon administration. Isn’t that enough? Even money he showed with a bunch of paper bags of food and was tipped at the door as the delivery boy.
he sounds like a mentally retarded jamacian