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America Wants To Eat Rachael Ray’s Stoup
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America is filled with a bunch of vapid, easily impressed people with malfunctioning taste buds, a new poll has confirmed:
When dining on vacation, Americans are most likely to choose Rachel Ray (32%) to be their celebrity chef, followed closely by Paula Deen (27%). Fewer would like to have Wolfgang Puck (15%), Gordon Ramsay (13%), Masaharu Morimoto (6%) or Tom Colicchio (6%) cook for them.
According to the study, while men prefer Rachael Ray, women, midwesteners, and southerners prefer Paula Deen.
Really, America? Rachael Ray and Paula Deen? They aren’t even real chefs! They’re just women who like to run their mouths and fake foodgasms while pretending they know how to cook a moist chicken.
Personally, if I was on vacation, I’d want Lidia Bastianich to cook for me. And I’d want Rachael Ray and Paula Deen to do the dishes.
(Thanks for the tip, Ben!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Rachael Ray’s Park City Utah Vacation: Photo Gallery---Cooking.com Selling Rachael Ray BEDDING [This Is What's Wrong With America]
---Rachael Ray’s Montreal Vacation: Photo Gallery
---Rachael Ray’s Hawaiian Vacation: Photo Gallery
---Worst Cooks In America: The Video Game
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29 Responses
My idea of a fun vacation day: sitting at the counter of the old Molto Mario set and watch Mario make me a meal, while doing any menial task he asked and having an awesome conversation about food. Same with Tom Colicchio.
RayRay is all about accessible, everyday meals–why on earth would I want to eat her food on vacation? If you ask me, it’s a really stupid survey question as it feels really leading and manipulative. I’d love to see who is behind this whole study.
I would enjoy a meal prepared by Jacques Pepin, but most of all I would love a meal prepared by Morimoto-san I first tasted Japanese food on the island of Okinawa. I had two years to explore every restaurant I could get to and also to eat home cooking in peoples homes.
Sorry I wouldn’t want Paula Deen to do the dishes that old bag would probably lick them clean. Then one of her two moron sons would get themselves stuck in the dish washer. Which normally would not be a bad thing but I would have to call a repairman. They charge a lot to extricate big southern dummies from dishwashers. And you know the other one left on his own would stick a fork the toaster.
I’d do just about anything to cook with Alton Brown.
@Mise en place, I agree–he’d also seem like such a joy to spend an afternoon with, lovingly making something that requires hours to ultimately create.
I’m confused! The poll isn’t asking who you want to hang out with. It’s asking who you’d want to cook you a meal. Paula and Rachael are not the best cooks on the Food Network. Why anyone would choose them to be their chef is beyond me!
Alton Brown, Tyler Florence and Michael Chiarello. They could put their culinary minds together – and figure out how to roast Racheal and Pauler perfectly.
“I would enjoy a meal prepared by Jacques Pepin, but most of all I would love a meal prepared by Morimoto”
Judith, you rock my world!
May I share the dinner with you? please, huh, can I, huh?
Okay, I’ll be honest. Gordon Ramsey? I wouldn’t want him to cook for me, either. Because if I don’t show exactly the level of appreciation he expects he’s liable to come out cussing at me.
But Morimoto? Who wouldn’t want a meal prepared by Masaharu Morimoto? Unless it’s someone who really hates Japanese food and that sounds like a personal problem to me.
I’m amazed that Anthony Bourdain and Nigella Lawson got no votes.
Kyle, I would be honored to share the meal with you. But until then we’ll just have to make do with home cooking and a good Japanese cookbook. For heavens sake do not try that fake yakisoba they are advertising on T.V. Real yakisoba is made with buckwheat noodles and is made like fried rice.
I second the vote to have Morimoto cook for me. I love Japanese food (wish I had more time in Nagoya, Kyoto, and Nara to explore the cuisine of the areas) and with Morimoto, you know you’re going to get something delicious and incredibly original that nobody else can say they’ve had.
Definitely Morimoto. He makes the most damn beautiful food I think I’ve ever seen. I would consider a meal made personally by him for me one of the highlights of my life. Rachel Ray’s cooking is nothing but oily crap, and as I’m Southern, Paula Deen’s cooking is very ordinary to me since I can easily make it myself. If it’s a special meal, why wouldn’t you want something extraordinary? Although I suppose someone who lives off microwave burritos might think it was special.
Totally agree regarding Morimoto. I remember his “stained glass” sushi roll that he made on Iron Chef was so freaking beautiful, I would hate to disturb it by eating it. Although it would have tasted out of this world I’m sure. But for my first choice I would have Alton Brown cook for me. I just like his approach to cooking, his humor, looks, it’s all GOOD. :)
The poll looks legit – at least as far as I can tell. I’ll bet the majority of people surveyed don’t frequent the Food Network and very likely have no idea who Morimoto or Tom Choliccio are, ya think? And they’re just answering with the one (or two) name(s) that they’ve heard. Rachael and regionally, Paula.
I’d enjoy a meal cooked by ANY of the iron chefs! Heck, I’d enjoy a meal cooked by just about anyone in the FN kitchens, for that matter.
But on a vacation? Fantasy meal? I’d like Richard Blais in the kitchen, whipping up something totally bizzaro. That guy is incredibly cool and his food is way out there. Who knows if it’d be good or not, but what an adventure!
Hahaaa, i thought that said ‘soup’. I was like.. everyone can make soup.
But then i realized i was dumb. I’d be happy for any of these people to make me food :)
If for no reason other than the massive hunk of eye candy, I’d take Tom Colicchio ANY day. Those who picked Paula or Rachel clearly have no idea who the other REAL chefs are or they would not have chosen. I think this poll really demonstrates how effective marketing crap is to the masses. Lame.
Kinda surprised Emeril wasn’t on that list, though I’d probably not choose him.
Morimoto or Cat Cora for me. (Maybe Bourdain, but his obsession with red meat might scare me off.)
So when asked, “Do your want food cooked by a real chef or a fake chef”? Americans pick the fakes. And we wonder why we’re currently the laughingstock of the rest of the civilized world?!
Wow. I’d take a dinner by Gordon Ramsay or Masaharu Morimoto any day! Say what you want about Ramsay’s attitude, he’s all about fresh, local ingredients and simple food, and it’d be amazing. And Morimoto for sushi would be divine!!
Megan @ adventuresofacarnivore.com
I would spent a lovely afternoon cooking nude with Giada and Sandra, guzzling cocktails, and then engaging in an awesome three-way on Sandra’s tablescape made of condoms and dildos.
Most Americans wouldn’t know good food if it bit them on the ass.
I’d pick Rob Feenie or Micheal Smith… but then again, I am Canadian
Gypsy, I would totally want Nigella cooking for me..but only if she wore something very tight.. I know my second choice will draw some snark.. but I wouldn’t mind having Guy Fieri cook for me.. I know he’d make something interesting, and he’d be funny and cute to watch. If I wanted humor and talent without the cuteness, I’d pick Keith Floyd (anyone remember Floyd on Fish?)
If I have to make a serious chef choice though, I’d have to pick Thomas Keller..
I would pick Ina Garten to cook for me. She can make a meal look really good. I hope she would use real dishes and not Chinese food containers (I would find that tacky). Also, I would have her hold the giggles to a minimum.
Jaime Oliver for me. I think his food looks soooooo luscious, even when he’s throwing things together in his backyard. On last week’s Iron Chef America, he was up against Mario Batali. Although Mario scored higher on presentaton (his plates were gorgeous), I still preferred the sheer decadence of Jaime’s style.
From the NY Post:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/rachael_now_city_lunch_lady_V4bqev9zCx6Qu65XUjq3KJ
“So long, sloppy Joe. Hello, Rachael Ray.
The city public schools’ menu just got a healthy dose of star power — a lunch recipe created by TV chef Rachael Ray.
As many as 600,000 kids will nosh on such quick and easy meals as sizzling soft tacos and Southwest roasted chicken and Ray’s own Southwest Yum-o! ranch sauce.
The city schools’ food program is already considered one of the nation’s healthiest, but organizers hope the jazzed-up dishes will teach kids that tasty and healthy can go hand in hand.
Ray, who will launch the program Monday at PS 89/IS 289 in Manhattan, hopes to deliver new recipes to the school system every month or two.
The recipes, tweaked for cooking for four rather than for the masses, will then be posted on her Web site for parents willing to try this at home.”
Wow, have we got a lot of sour pusses out there. Rachel cooks just like me – a little of this and little of that. I’ve been cooking for a Frenchman for the last 50 years and you know how critical they are. Get with it. Rachel is great and so is Paula. Who cares if they don’t have a “culinary certificate”. If the food is good, eat it. Keep it up Rachel; keep it up Paula. There are people out there that love you.
Original Poster is a total douche.
Chef or no-chef I appreciate good food with simple preparation made with stuff that is REALISTIC for someone to have in their kitchen.
Sure the Iron chefs are great but you know what? I will admit that my pallet is not sophisticated enough for that. I want my food to taste good. Not give me a damn inferiority complex.
For that Rachael & Gordon both would have my vote. Simple but classic dishes. Few ingredients. Quick execution. They break it down into idiot terms and although not everyone needs that, it makes cooking more approachable for people and I think that is very important considering that in these dark days most peoples idea of “cooking” is warming a Stouffers Lasagna.
But if I had to pick one, it would definitely be Rachael. I would eat her stoup any day.
Yes, Lidia Bastianich would be my choice too. I will stay away from the kitchen while she cooks though, she’s kind of scary-stern. Tom Colicchio scares me even more!