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New Food Network Show Idea #1
Posted on June 4th 2009 by Jillian Madison

[Editor's note: We spend a lot of time talking about the shows we DON'T want to see on the Food Network. So, we thought we'd come up with a few ideas for shows we WOULD want to watch. This is our first pitch. Other ideas will be posted in the coming weeks.]

The Best Shows You’ll Never See On The Food Network – Idea #1
Admittedly this isn’t the most original idea in the world, but I think a “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ type show for the Food Network would be HILARIOUS.  They could just film snarky people sitting around, wisecracking their way through old, awful episodes of classic Food Network shows. How hysterical would it be to watch on the fly, running commentaries about Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa cake or Ina Garten’s good vanilla cupcakes? Hell, I know I’d tune in for that.

Look at the success of Whatever, Martha on the Fine Living Network. It’s become one of their most watched shows! And let’s face it: we’re all already sitting around, making fun of the silly things we see on the Food Network with our friends, aren’t we? I’m thinking it’s about time the Food Network executives and hosts take a tip from Martha Stewart, and learn how to laugh at themselves.

Added bonuses:
The show would be dirt cheap to produce. It would draw in a completely different demographic. It would have the potential to develop a devoted, cultlike following. And oh yeah, it would be much funnier than watching Bobby Flay fumbling his way through a knock-knock joke about a poblano pepper.


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Martha Stewart Tells Rachael Ray A Knock-Knock Joke
---Introducing The World’s First Rachael Ray / Martha Stewart Painting
---Giada Tells Rachael A Knock-Knock Joke
---Thanksgiving Tips: Helpful DO’s and DON’Ts
---Food Network Wins One Lone Daytime Emmy

    16 Responses

  1. April March says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Personally love the idea of this show! I used to watch MST 3000 all the time. Loved it. Would love to see old FN shows snarked about. I’d tune in religiously.

    Reply
  2. Teague says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Great idea but it would never happen. FN actually, as you know quite well re: the ‘Freddy’ Kruger incident, take themselves very seriously.

    Reply
  3. Dan says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:38 am

    BEST SHOW IDEA EVER.

    Reply
  4. SeriousEats says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Now that’s a show I would tune in to see. If they steal that idea in a few months, I’ll remember I saw it here first. :)

    Reply
  5. Jenna says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:41 am

    I love this idea! My friends and I watch the food network and make comments about the things we’re seeing. When I’m home alone I find myself watching the Food Network and screaming at the TV like a lunatic (“Why are you adding that much salt, Sandy!”)

    so basically what i’m saying is, I’d watch this show for sure.

    Reply
  6. Youknowwhoiam says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Great idea but like you said Jillian: “the best Food Network show you’ll never see!”

    Not while people like Tushman are there, anyway. His idea of funny is wearing a tie with a Tazmanian devil on it.

    Reply
  7. Byrdie says:
    June 4, 2009 at 11:57 am

    There is also a show (not of FN) called “Destroyed In Seconds”. The scenario is film catching catastrophic events as they happen. This could be another idea, oh, wait, that IS what is already being aired on FN. (i.e. “Yummo”, “Y’all”, etc).

    Reply
  8. Jen says:
    June 4, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    I nominate myself as actor/writer/director/producer.

    Reply
  9. HeWhoseNameMustNotBeSpoken says:
    June 4, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    OK…granted this is a REALLY off-the-wall idea for a FN show format but here goes…

    A professionally trained, qualified chef with broad culinary knowledge and an engaging personality is shown for 30 minutes to an hour preparing dishes while offering historical context and some other interesting minutia that we foodies find so appealing. Perhaps a wine pairing suggestion could be made towards the end of the show to help us at home with ideas on how to impress.

    I TOLD YOU that it was off the wall for FNs brand of entertainment!! Now, for the reasons as to why FN would not allow such a spectacle to grace its sanctified airwaves:

    *Not enough of a demographic “hook” (southern bumpkin, NY toe-headed Irish smartass, ebonics-laced dialogue, ad nauseum).
    *Not enough time to promote homosexual agendas in a kinder, gentler hydrangea-induced fashion
    *Not enough cliche spewing, bandana wearing, goatee stinking, farty-breath smelling, white trash loving appeal to the “new” FN demo
    *Not enough cocaine induced sniffling over Napa-inspired creations while never ONCE tasting anything you prepared!
    *Not enough sexual innuendo (ack!) or bodily fluid and waste references to spew as you prepare the food you are planning to serve

    Reply
  10. Megan says:
    June 4, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    “A professionally trained, qualified chef with broad culinary knowledge and an engaging personality is shown for 30 minutes to an hour preparing dishes while offering historical context and some other interesting minutia that we foodies find so appealing. Perhaps a wine pairing suggestion could be made towards the end of the show to help us at home with ideas on how to impress.”

    Granted, Alton Brown is not a professionally-trained chef, but he DOES have a lot of culinary know how and his personality’s engaging and funny. His “Good Eats” is about the only show coming close to matching your Dream TV program. :)

    Reply
  11. HeWhoseNameMustNotBeSpoken says:
    June 4, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    @Megan – agree with you. FN is not (yet) a total loss, but sadly shows like “Good Eats” are becoming more scarce than a believable John Gosselin alibi…alas…

    This next observation is more like a “sob’blog” but it just seems to be a sad pattern with networks these days…Food Network once defined itself in a very focused and distinguished way…it was a great network to watch for Foodies with educational information to supplement the terrific chefs/personalities that “used” to populate the FN. I can’t be sure when “the fall” began, but methinks it was around the time when FN started airing shows like “Date Plate” and “Dweezil bones Lisa” that the wheels began to come off and the FN began its death spiral into lowest common denominator programming stressing over the top “chefebrities” (most of dubious qualifications) and marketability for downstream revenue opportunities (a la FN mags, online stores, endorsements, et al). All I know is that it saddens me. If you care to look around, many once great networks have followed a similar path to reality based programming or showing one or two shows ALL THE TIME that just literally take away any of the original essence of what made them so appealing to begin with. How about the following networks?… *Fine Living Network *Discovery *The Learning Channel *Bravo (to a lesser extent- it was never really that focused to begin with).
    I gotta tell ya’, once the History Channel start putting out reality shows (I can see it now…bloated bodies of famous dead people exhumed and lined up for a game show “Name That Corpse!!”) I think I’m gonna end it all…who knows(?) maybe I too can become a post-mortem sensation!

    Reply
  12. Spice Weasel says:
    June 4, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    outstanding

    Reply
  13. Byrdie says:
    June 4, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    @ HeWhose – are you saying, long story short, that someday in the very near future we may have to switch off the telly and read a (gulp) book??!!???

    Reply
  14. elizabeth says:
    June 4, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    I was JUST talking about this kind of show last night with the husband–it would be called “Oh, Aunt Sandy!” and it would be magnificent. The FN has no ability to laugh at itself, it seems, so it will lilt in the wind, never to see the light of day….

    And how sad is it that a woman who put “OMNIMEDIA” next to her name has a better sense of humor than this network? She’s the exec producer of the snark show!

    Reply
  15. Margaret says:
    June 4, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    I think your show idea should have multiple audiences, each participating from a different location, all at the same time…

    Beverly Hills
    E. St. Louis
    Alabama (the part where they marry their cousins)
    E. Los Angeles
    Brooklyn
    Miami
    Any military installation that will have you

    Imagine the fun the E. St. Louis audience would have with Sandra Lee and Ina Garten.

    Let me know when to tune in!!

    Reply
  16. Monica says:
    October 8, 2009 at 10:03 am

    I personally think they need a show with real people and real situations. I know when Rachal Ray has 30 min to cook 3 courses it’s because it’s all done for her and as much as I love Paula Dean can we all afford to eat a stick of butter. My husband and I love to cook together but if I have to watch one more episode of the Neely’s with the fake spice fairy I might puke.My husband and I like to compete in the kitchen. He’s the gourmet and I’m the quicky. I need to watch a real show with real people that have everyday working lives with children and see what they cook.

    Reply

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