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Next Food Network Star: Episode #502 Recap
Posted on June 15th 2009 by Jillian Madison

It’s only week 2 of the Next Food Network Star competition, and already the phrase “Seoul To Soul” makes me want to shove a chopstick through my eye. If disliking Debbie Lee’s catchphrase is wrong, Lord, I don’t wanna be right.

debbie lee next food network star

Unfortunately, it was more of the same on tonight’s episode of the Next Food Network Star. Katie Cavuto bored everyone to tears with her healthy bran dishes and whiny voice. Michael Proietti screamed “FABULOUS” and “HONEY” like he was auditioning to play Robin Williams in the Broadway version of The Birdcage. And Teddy Folkman annoyed everyone by… well… being himself. Tell me, on what dimly lit streetcorner did they find this schmuck? If he is the best America has to offer, it’s time we all seriously consider moving to Guam.

Last month, we asked if Teddy Folkman was annoying. The question has since been answered with an overwhelming and resounding YES. Folkman is completely intolerable to watch. When he’s not making his face do more intricate gymnastics than Mary Lou Retton, he’s doing vocal impressions of Peter Brady going through puberty. Even his catchphrase is cringeworthy: “Hi, I’m Teddy Folkman, and I’m coming at you from the mind of a chef.” What? That doesn’t even make sense. Hi, I’m Jillian Madison, and I’m coming at you from the mind of a person who hates watching idiots on television.

teddy folkman sucks next food network star

In other news, Eddie Gilbert is the world’s biggest idiot. He somehow won a challenge tonight, even though he’s chronically unlikeable and has been nothing but a total buffoon in front of the cameras and judges. This week, he disparagingly said that “women have different dietary enjoyments and restrictions” than men, before inappropriately rambling about an intimate night he had with his blowup doll girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Ring, ring… collect call for Eddie! “SHUT THE HELL UP” is calling. Will you accept the charges?

Meanwhile, Susie Fogelson all but foamed at the mouth during Debbie Lee’s presentation. I’m calling it now: Debbie Lee is going to win the entire competition this year. I think she was pre-chosen to win the show before it even started filming, the same way I think Aaron McCargo was chosen to win last year. Why? Because the Food Network wants to add an Asian to their cult of personalities! All the clues are there: They didn’t eliminate Debbie last week after she lied, they hype her up every chance they get, and oh yeah, did I mention Susie Fogelson’s face?

debbie lee susie fogelson next food network star

While Susie is in love with Debbie, Bob Tuschman clearly wants to have Jeffrey Saad’s babies. Jeff can do no wrong. Tonight, Bob said, “No one brings food to life like Jeffrey.” Oddly enough, an ear of corn then stumbled on set, vomited into one of Rachael Ray’s garbage bowls, and mysteriously disappeared.

Did I mention Michael Prioetti thinks saying “FABULOUS” and “HONEY” is still in? Poor guy. Did you like the witch hat and red mohawk he sported during tonight’s challenge? No? Me neither.

michael proietti next food network star

Tonight’s top 3 performers were Jamika (one of my early favorites), Melissa, and Debbie. The bottom 3 were Brett, Eddie, and Katie. Ultimately, the judges (including boring guest judge Giada De Laurentiis) sent BRETT AUGUST home, and once again, I found myself disagreeing with their decision. While Brett was a bit abrasive, he wasn’t nearly as OBNOXIOUS as Eddie and Katie. Not like it matters; I think we all know Eddie and Katie will be gone sooner than later.

Stay tuned next week, when Ina Garten and Tyler Florence show up to play!



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Next Food Network Star: Ten Thoughts On Episode #503
---Next Food Network Star #501 Episode Recap
---Next Food Network Star: Episode #504
---Sneak Peek Video: Next Food Network Star Episode 3
---Next Food Network Star: Episode #709 Recap (The Worst Roast Ever)

    29 Responses

  1. cookie says:

    Susie Fogelson is a C–twad! Unfortunately, I think debbie lee will win too. F.

  2. cookie says:

    susie f is crazy, however I also think that debbie lee will win this pile of crap!

  3. [...] the original post here: Next Food Network Star: Episode #502 Recap « Food Network Humor By admin in Uncategorized  .::. You can follow any responses to this entry [...]

  4. Gypsy says:

    Suzie F keeps gushing over how much she enjoys watching Debbie and I suspect it’s more SF’s brand of insanity than it is FN’s determination that they need an Asian. But, yeah, Debbie’s being set up to win.

    Has anyone else noticed the tendency of all these cooking competitions to bring in a “green” or “nutritionist” contestant who is a moron? I’m all about organic, healthful foods. I have yet to see an enjoyable contestant cooking it. (It CAN be done. PBS has done it. Then again, that’s hardly as obnoxious or commercial as FN seems to think they need.)

  5. Sandra says:

    Brett was a total d-bag for claiming that he helped Melissa with more than just plating her food, those guys offered to help. Maybe these “incidents” are scripted. Besides he wasn’t pleasing to look at on TV. I hope Michael shaves off that nasty thing on his face too. Debbie is bound to win, Food Network is in deperate need of diversity.

  6. Byrdie says:

    Last week Jen bought the farm with green beans. This week praises were rained down on Jamica for her greens and cornbread. Greens and cornbread? Are you freakin kidding me? What the hell is the difference? Boring, dull and lacking imagination. But she got away with it, which just goes to show, the fix is in. It ain’t about food, it’s about personality.

    On Tuschmans blog this morning this is what he said about Brett: “What really puzzled me about Brett was his total lack of creativity in both cooking challenges this week. It’s not that he lacks cooking expertise or technique at all. It’s that he totally AVOIDED both challenges and just cooked what he wanted. When we started, I thought he might be a dark horse in the race, but no such luck.” And of course, he defends his “slap on the wrist” regarding the lying and cheating Debbie did on the first show. ” As you saw, we put her on warning.” What a crock of shit.

    Greens and cornbread? Avoiding challenge? Yep, the fix is in….BIG TIME. Either Debbie (the cheating, lying, backstabber) or Jamica (unimaginative, boring and nothing relevant bring to the table) will win this “competition”.

  7. Teague says:

    If they want diversity why don’t they go out and hire a real chef?

  8. Spice Weasel says:

    Yep, the show itself is a formality, they were probably writing up episodes of “Soul to Seoul” six months ago. But you watch, they’ll drag the Gatekeeper of Badness and the California golden god out to the end. The rest are just there to make you watch for the cringe factor.

  9. BB says:

    I’m glad the Food Network is finally expanding beyond its all-white lineup of personalities, but you can see already that Debbie Lee will be shoe-horned into its same tired formula. She’ll be an Asian Sunny Anderson being a black Sandra Lee being a WASPy Rachel Ray. Perky, shallow and full of pointless stories about family in an effort to “make you part of their world.”

    Two more observations from last night:

    1. Thank God they’re not being fooled by how fake and obnoxious Teddy is. But, hello! He’s GUY FIERI!

    2. The judges keep saying they love how Michael “is who he is” (i.e., some of their best friends are gay), but they’ll dump him the first time he trips up. Anyone seen Dan and Steve lately?

  10. Scoobie-Doobie-Doo says:

    An Asian doing an asian themed cooking show? For real???? Clearly Debbie can’t cook anything else. That’s not talent, that’s a rut. And after that nasty Angel Food Cake disaster, are you sure she’s not Sandra Lee’s Korean clone?

    Someone, please, tell me how the Dietician nut job continues to advance when the judges have nothing nice to say about her food? Bland and tasteless much?

    I don’t get what FN is looking for. Personality? You can teach cooking, but not how to work the camera. Maybe the Network as a whole is trying too hard. They want another Giada-Rachel-Guy personality, but without the b!tch factor. Sad to say, but gay don’t play on the FN today — sorry Michael. I guess that leaves Jamika and Melissa. Well, that and the TNFNS #6.

  11. Roxanne Dupuis says:

    How far can a Korean cooking show go ? Other than the fact these people eat over 25 lbs of garlic each year, I don’t think the cuisine is that deep to warrant a fulltime show.

    Maybe they will use her as a “gateway” to anything Asian.Most Americans can’t differentiate between Asian cultures anyway.

  12. Byrdie says:

    Tuschman calls the “chefs” (ugh) on FN “food celebrity”. So don’t expect food, expect personalities.

  13. Gabriel says:

    I agree with Sandra; Brett and Teddy acted like 5-year olds for trying to get credit from Melissa’s dish. Brett bitched like a d-bag just so that the judges could give him a golden star for helping. For GOD’s sake GROW UP! And Teddy could have grown some balls and take a stand instead of staying quiet.

  14. Jen says:

    You totally nailed it, they have so picked her to win! Which is so not cool because she is so over the top and fake, I would not watch her show. I do like Keanu Reeves lookalike though!

  15. Lucy says:

    Is anyone else sick on all the flirting and gushing coming from Suzi towards Jeffery??? The smiling, putting the boobs front and center… Flirting big time and I have noticed Giada batting an eye or two… LOL

  16. Ryan says:

    As I was watching last night I realized I hate them all. They are all just cookie cutter images of the same FN stars that have brought a once great network to it’s knees. No one on FN shows any creativity anymore, why should NFNS.

  17. Jason says:

    The only thing Debbie should win is the Next Food Network FRAUD.

  18. Daria says:

    I’m a little late to the party, just watched the recorded episode last night. I can already see that Jeffrey, Jamika, and possibly Debbie will be finalists. Eddie and Katie’s days are definitely numbered.

    I couldn’t believe how much Eddie choked on the Good Housekeeping presentation, and they don’t seem very impressed with his food. Katie of course is boring, and as much as I love to incorporate healthy cooking, I don’t think they need another Ellie Krieger.

    It was definitely wrong for Brett to criticize Melissa in front of the judges, but he does have a point. She probably wouldn’t have finished her plating if they hadn’t helped. She was making it too complicated by trying to put everything in separate bowls. I don’t think she has a chance to win it, she’s not experienced enough and way too emotional.
    With Michael I’m unsure, I can see them keeping him around for a while for the entertainment value. Teddy is too goofy.

  19. Anonymous says:

    I hope she doesn’t win. I hate her already.

  20. Sasha Fierce says:

    They are sure grooming her to win. Her, and Jeffrey Saad.

  21. andrew says:

    I LOVE THIS WEBSITE!!!!! You guys are a huge hit at my office, too. Thanks for watching this crapfest of a show so I don’t have to.

  22. Automne says:

    Roxanne, I think Korean cuisine is a lot deeper than it is credited. It’s more than kimchi and rice. I think Korean cuisine has really been overlooked in this recent boom of Asian cuisine. In my town, there are a bunch of Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and Vietnamese restaurants, but no Korean. In fact, several of the Japanese restaurants are run by Koreans.

    Done right, a Korean cuisine show would be great. Unfortunately, this is the Food Network.

  23. HakunaFritatta says:

    @ Jen
    but “over the top and fake” is what FN loves these days. I hope they go down hard. FN is to food what Good Housekeeping is to cutting edge journalism.

  24. RD says:

    I’m sure if Debbie gets a show they’ll have her doing Asian food, Southern food with Asian flair, midwestern food with Asian flair…kinda like the majority of Food Network shows these days, people who have no clue on what American regional or international food is. And don’t get me started on every Food Network “star” making cocktails that would get them laughed out of real bars.

    And I also agree with Sandra. You help other chefs out in a restaurant and don’t whine about it. Geez.

  25. Byrdie says:

    I wouldn’t care if she’s cooking Noah with an Asian flair, I wouldn’t watch her if she was the last show on FN. She’s a cheater and a liar and has no regard for anybody but herself. I mean, my God, she just cooked Noah! (She was able to get two entire pot stickers out of him)…

  26. Clara says:

    Roxanne,

    Do you know a lot about Korean cuisine to make such a statement? Have you ever been to Korean and been to the vast variety of Korean restaurants? Or are you only going off the your own pre-conceived “knowledge” of what Korean food is?

    Korean food is not about only Korean bbq. That is more of the westernized Korean cuisine because it’s easier to get someone who’s not familiar to Korean food to eat marinated pieces of meat than eat some of the “wierder”, more traditional Korean food.

    Koreans are also very concerned about preventive care by maintaining a health “ecosystem” in your body and keep your colon clean naturally. Koreans (and many easterners) believes a good diet this keeps us young and active. That’s why we eat a lot of garlic. It’s believed to be a miracle food plus it makes food taste great!

    My favorite is a stew called HAE MYUL TANG (sp?), it has loads of seafood (lobster, snow crag legs, scallops, shrimp) and it’s stewing in this yummy spicy broth. And at most good Korean places, when you’re finish they’ll take the leftover broth and fried some rice up with kimich and seaweed and cook it right on your table. soooo good…

    Try some real Korean food some day. If you know a Korean person, ask them to recommend you to a good Korean place, they are hard to come by in Korea. I know because I lived in the Midwest for 15 years, and there was only one Korean place that I thought was decent.

  27. lala says:

    i like jeffrey, debbie, and jamika, actually. im fine as long as one of those three wins…but i HATE katie. i just don’t understand why she’s still in competition. i think she should’ve been eliminated waaaaay back in episode 2.

  28. Mary says:

    I love the irony of a comment claiming “these people” don’t have much in the way of cuisine except garlic, while snottily bashing Americans for not knowing enough about Asian food. Wow.

  29. BITTER says:

    Katie is like a little lemur about to be hit by a truck.

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