Sandra Lee »
Ten Questions For Sandra Lee
Published on: June 23, 2009 – 3:21 pm by Jillian Madison 
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The FN Dish blog sent out a plea yesterday, asking readers to submit questions for an upcoming interview with the “beautifully frugal” Sandra Lee. We’re happy to oblige.
1. I made your Kwanzaa cake for my friends, but for some reason, they wouldn’t eat it. Is it safe to feed it to my dog?
2. I invited my family over and made a festive tablescape for the occasion, but they all made fun of me. How should I cope with their incessant teasing?
3. My shirt doesn’t match the color of the tchotchkes on my kitchen counter. Will my food still taste as good?
4. On a recent episode of Money Saving Meals, you mentioned you purchased ricotta cheese for $1.69. However, even cheapest brand of ricotta is $3.99 in my grocery store. How are you getting it so cheap? Was it expired, or are you blowing your grocer?
5. Is Bob Tuschman as in love with himself in real life as he appears to be on TV?
6. My crockpot broke. Can I just heat the food over an idling car engine instead?
7. Anthony Bourdain once referred to you as “pure evil; the frightening hell spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker.” Was this before or after your nose job?
8. Exactly how drunk are you guys when you’re calculating the cost of your Money Saving Meals?
9. Any plans to collaborate with Justin Timberlake on a new single: “Bringing Sexy Tablecapes Back?”
10. Did you marry your rich, much older first husband (Bruce Karatz) just for his money and his connections? Or was it his charming good looks that won you over?
Do YOU have questions for Sandra Lee? Post ‘em here, and we’ll submit them to the Food Network on behalf of all of us here at FoodNetworkHumor.com!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Sandra Lee’s Money Saving Tips O’ The Week---Sandra Lee Regressing Back To Her Old Color Coordinated Ways
---More Dumb Advice From Sandra Lee
---Top 10 Money Saving Tips From Sandra Lee
---Sandra Lee’s Money Saving Meals: FNH Review
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
LOL funny! Here are my inquiries for Aunt(hic)(urp)Sandy:
>If a tree falls in a forest, could Sandra Lee stand under it?
>If using one of your super simple russupies and am pressed for time, which brand of vodka should I drink?
>To insure I stay within the budget of your money saving meals, should I serve two or three green peas as a serving?
>If a tree falls in a forest, and it missed you the first time, would you please stand under another one?
sorry, one more question:
>If a tree falls in a forest, and husband Bob is standing under it and it hits him, and you inherit his millions from his construction company, what kind of vodka will you drink?
LMAO!!
Jillian: #1 & #4 had me falling off my chair.
Byrdie: Both your tree questions in your first post did the same.
I’ve said it before but I have to say it again: I LOVE this website!
Could you please clarify you stand on boxed pasta?
What’s better for one of your super simple russupies, brand name vodaka or homemade moonshine?
oops typo, too much vodka ;)
Miseenplace – Vodaka is a good drink too cause Aunt (hic)(burpp)Sandy will drink just about anything!
Teague – too funny!
April March – don’t ever, ever go into the forest with Aunt (hic)(errff)Sandy….it could be very dangerous. YIKES!!
I think she is blowing her grocer for sure. Or she is buying Chinese or Vietnamese ricotta.
If I had a semi-serious question, it would be: Why do you substitute coconut milk for heavy cream when it has more calories, more fat and more saturated fat (the bad kind)? Is your health really worth the extra few cents?
And then I’d ask if Brycer blames her for all the beatings he gets in school.
For your Money-Saving meals, if viewers are running low on grocery money should they skip the food part and go straight to “cocktail time”???
Byrdie FYI, she’s already divorced (for years) with a huge settlement and has been dating NY Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. Side note, Bruce Karatz doesn’t own a construction company, he’s the former CEO of KB Homes a 50+ yo publicly traded crappy tract home builder, he is currently involved in a lawsuit brought on by the SEC for stock option fraud.
Tablescape materials source: Michael’s, JoAnn’s or the Dollar Store?
If my cute little name card doesn’t match my sweet, pretty napkin, can I get drunk?
FoodHorrible – thanks for the Aunt (hic)(eerup) Sandy marriage/dating update. I don’t really follow her or any other FN “personalities” private lives cause I don’t really give a rats behind. I know Bob was the CEO of KB Homes, but that’s all I know.
I used (and I’ve had to explain this more than one time to more than one fellow blogger)poetic license/exaggeration to affect an attempt at humor.
>>SIDEBAR PEOPLE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THIS SITE: This is a humor site, thus the name Food Network HUMOR! This is not a site for factfinding, professional reference, or any other such information. It is for HUMOR and having FUN!
> If the store brand costs more than the name brand, what colorscape should I use that day?
> If a tree falls in a forest, and you stand under it, can you take Rachael Ray with you?
> If the calculator batteries died, should I figure the cost of my money saving meal like you do by pulling a figure out of the air?
Byrdie, I was trying to be nice, I could have just been blatantly honest and said you’re not funny, not even a little bit. You don’t need to know anything about food network hosts to be familiar with the facts I was referring to, just a slight interest in business and politics.
I understand that TFN had to remove your russipe for Channukah cake because it wasn’t kosher. And on today’s repeat show you blended cucumber seeds and sake together so that it looked like pond scum, then served it in cucumber “shot glasses”. My question is: are there ANY ethnic people working on your staff to give you a heads up when you are about to make an ass of yourself for these idiotic russipies?
FoodHorrible – have a nice day.
@ Byrdie~ swill would be more appropirate, huh?
Miseenplace – swill with a vodka chaser! MMMMM! Just what Doctor (hic)(buuurrrrrppp) Sandy ordered!!
How drunk are you right now?
Jillian, promise me you actually submitted those! Please tell me you did. They are made of teh awesome!
stixx23, where’d you get that info on coconut milk? Per serving, I’ve found coconut milk to have less calories, less total fat, slightly less saturated fat, 0 cholesterol and significantly less sodium compared to heavy cream. All for about the same amount of carbs and protein. It is lower in vitamin A and calcium, but higher in vitamin C and iron. Just wondering if you have some info that I don’t?
Byrdie, is this your site? Is your real name Jillian? Are you in charge? Were you appointed Comments Moderator at some point? Did someone forget to cc me that memo? Do you have an aversion to factual information about which we should be made aware? “affect an attempt on humor” is about right. It’s certainly clear that you try. As soon as you actually effect an attempt on humor, we’ll raise a glass of fermented potato juice in your honor.
Back on topic, I saw this post on FN Dish, and couldn’t think of a THING to ask Aunt Sandy! Not a thing. Still stumped. Best of luck with your questions, Jill!
Wow! With so many trees falling on, or near, Sandra Lee, you’d think there was a group of anti-Sandy lunberjacks in that forest.
I’m curious, does getting shit-faced on semiHOmade cocktails make you bang a semifat chick?
Lana, please accept my apology! I forgot you know everything about everything.
Ha ha people be fightin!
Byrdie, I believe the comments section is for adults only.
thank you for making me pee my pants…thankfully I work from home.
@FoodHorrible – grow up. After reading your “bang a semifat chick” comment, followed by your “adults only” comment, seemed, oh I don’t know…Perhaps you should follow your own advice. You could suck the fun out of a carnival….
Byrdie, I thought you lectured everyone on how this is, in your words, “This is a humor site, thus the name Food Network HUMOR! This is not a site for factfinding, professional reference, or any other such information. It is for HUMOR and having FUN!”
Given that reminder, the only conclusion I can make is only a fat chick (with a small brain) who bangs drunk guys would be offended.
Okay you two – how about you exchange e-mail addresses and trade barbs there, for the sake of the rest of the FNH readers who don’t want to deal with the drama? Much appreciated!
canned coconut milk: http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-coconut-milk-canned-liquid-expressed-i12118
heavy whipping cream: http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-cream-fluid-heavy-whipping-i1053
1. How many soft-core pornography films have you performed in?
2. If I’m running low on Pam, or any no-stick spray, can I use WD-40?
3. Have you ever had a threesome with the Neelys?
4. What is the proper table space/decorations ratio? Judging by your shows, I’m going with 70% centerpiece, 20% place cards, and 10% actual eating space. Could you clarify?
styxx23, those nutrition labels are set for different amounts. Notice that the cream is 1 cup whipped – that’s a lot of air by a volumetric measurement.
The coconut milk (226 grams) is set to almost twice the amount of heavy cream (120 grams), which is why it appears to have more calories, fat, etc. Set them both to the same weight measurement, say 15 grams. Then you can get an accurate nutrition comparison.
Been reading this site for some time now. I find some funny and some quite mean spirited though there are 2 sides to most everything in life. I do have to say that screwing up/typing something not understandable or just plain wrong is NOT poetic license.
Byrdie ought to remove stick from arse, lighten up and refrain from being the message posting police.
I enjoy the majority of what I see here.
Oh and I, for one, was happy to see the info. on Semi Horrific’s marriage/dating life. I remember the first time that I saw her on FN and she was wearing a wedding ring. Said ring then disappeared, I was always curious though not enough to look it up. I’m glad someone else had the scoop for me.
Why have none of the Food Network advisors insisted that Sandra Lee learn how to pronounce the word “espresso”? I have heard her say “eXpresso” numerous times which hardly gives me confidence that she is a knowledgeable cook who is truly familiar with her ingredients. I suppose if espresso came in a spice mix type of envelope, she would be far more acquainted with it. *Could someone PLEASE correct her and tell her that there is no “X” in espresso!?
> If you had to choose 3 people to have dinner with, what kind of vodka would you be getting drunk off of?
> Do you believe that the healthcare reform will make healthcare available to everyone or does vodka make it easier to whore yourself out?