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Top 10 Really Bad Food Network Pick-Up Lines
Posted on June 22nd 2009 by Jillian Madison

10. Your eyes are deep and rich… like two bowls of Rachael Ray’s chocolate pudding.

9. If this bar were the Iron Chef kitchen, baby, you’d be the Kobe beef.

8. Is it hot in here or is it just Bobby Flay’s chili?

7. Was your father a thief? I’m just asking because I’m missing my Emeril 3-qt hard anodized saucier pan.

6. How ’bout we go back to my place and thumb through my copy of Rachael Ray’s Big Orange Book?

5. You make me dizzier than one of Sandra Lee’s cocktails.

4. Can I borrow a quarter? I have to call Aida and ask her something.

3. Wouldn’t we look cute on top of a Charm City cake together?

2. You make me melt, like chocolate in Ina Garten’s double boiler.

1. Baby, you’re hotter than the doughnut grease in Paula Deen’s fryer.


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    8 Responses

  1. Dan says:
    June 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    These made me laugh on a crappy day. Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Greg says:
    June 22, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    You had me at: “You make me melt, like chocolate in Ina Garten’s double boiler”

    funny, Jillian, funny.

    Reply
  3. alexis says:
    June 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    If a guy used these on me, I’d laugh. And probably go out with him.

    Reply
  4. mike says:
    June 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    Wow, these were not very funny at all.

    I thought about just stating a favorite or two but then I couldn’t pick one that I really liked.

    Sorry, but this post sucked.

    Keep trying though.

    Reply
  5. Melissa (oddharmonic) says:
    June 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    The “Is it hot in here…” line reminded me of the time my husband unintentionally made pepper gas while making his own hot sauce.

    Reply
  6. HeWhoseNameMustNotBeSpoken says:
    June 22, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    Hmm….
    “Damn woman!…you smokin’ hot like a Sunny Anderson blunt spliff!”
    “Baby, you’re hotter than that steamin’ mess out in Pauler’s driveway!”
    “I would follow you anywhere in the world…even into Captain Michael’s beard whiskers”
    “Are you cookin’ up a hot mess of tuna salad for me or does Paula just need to douche again?”
    “You’re so amazing…I made you a delicious Kwanzaa cake”

    Reply
  7. neo says:
    June 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    There’s the door, Mike, peace the f-ck out.

    Reply
  8. Bonzy says:
    June 23, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    HeWhoseNameMustNotBeSpoken….omg…effin hilarious!

    Reply

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