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You Might Be A Redneck If… (Foodie Style)
Posted on June 16th 2009 by Jillian Madison

You Might Be A Redneck If…

-You think “Ina Garten” is a place people bury dead pets

-You can burp and say Aida Mollenkamp’s name at the same time

-Guy Fieri and his friends remind you of your neighbors

-You once went ‘coon huntin’ with Paula Deen’s Uncle Bubba

-You think Sunny Anderson is a housing project in Biloxi

-You dated one of Bobby Flay’s ex-wives in high school

-You ever lost a tooth opening a can of Paula Deen’s nuts

-Your kid has ever said, “clean out this garbage bowl so I can take a bath”

-Your parrot knows the phrase “SUPER SIMPLE RUSSSSIPIES”

-You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives VHS cassette

-You clean your fingernails with a fork you stole from The Lady & Sons

-You think Sandra Lee’s outfits are classy

-You think “Giada” is an Italian airline


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---New Teeth Options For Paula Deen
---Garbage Picking: Food Network Studio Dumpsters
---Rachael Ray’s Garbage Bowl Costs $20
---Just What The World Needs: More Paula Deen Nuts
---A Reminder From Ina Garten

    8 Responses

  1. Cameron says:
    June 16, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    …Or your kitchen matches your “tablescape” like Aunt Sandy’s!

    Reply
  2. Vanilla says:
    June 16, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Oh, so Paula had a racist uncle. Hmm.

    You might be a redneck if you think butter should be the fifth element.

    Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, Clogged Heart! Go Planet!

    Reply
  3. Stephanie says:
    June 16, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    You think that Aaron McCargo has actually graduated from the CIA and is a master chef.

    Reply
  4. Tatiana says:
    June 16, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    … when you scratch your head whenever Ina says “Now how easy is that?”.

    Reply
  5. miseenplace says:
    June 16, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    … if you use malt liquor in one of Aunt Sandy’s cocktails

    Reply
  6. Byrdie says:
    June 16, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    -You think that when Ina says her friends are gay, you think she means happy…

    Reply
  7. Mike says:
    June 17, 2009 at 9:08 am

    i dont think this segment should be titled “you might be a redneck” but rather “you might be a food network addict…I fail to make the connection between what the food network shit show has to do with rednecks.

    Reply
  8. MoeBiscuits says:
    May 16, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Well yee-f’ing-haw! I dun got me 7 outta them there redneck thingees. And I’m gunna add one more:

    Ever filled a garbage bowl with PBR and sugar cookies left over from decorating a Sandra Lee cake, and eaten it like cereal.

    Reply

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