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4th Of July Tips From Your Food Network Stars
Published on: July 3, 2009 – 9:54 am by Jillian Madison
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FNH wants to wish everyone a happy and healthy 4th of July! If you follow these helpful bits of advice, your celebrations should go off without a hitch. Enjoy!
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AIDA MOLLENKAMP Pack raw meats, poultry, and seafood on the bottom of the cooler. Or as Noah Starr calls it, EYE LEVEL. |
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ALTON BROWN Use a separate cooler for drinks so the one containing the food won’t constantly be opened and closed. Note: if Sandra Lee will be attending your picnic, just give her her own cooler. |
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DUFF GOLDMAN If you run out of ketchup or mustard, just use some fondant instead. |
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GIADA DE LAURENTIIS MOT-ZAHHHHH-RELLLL-LAHHHHHHHHHHH! |
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GUY FIERI Always wash your hands after handling raw meat – or accidentally touching my hair. |
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INA GARTEN Remember to wear a life preserver when watching fireworks from your gay companion’s $64.2 million dollar yacht. |
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GINA NEELY Remember, ladies, your husband’s penis is NOT a firecracker. Never accidentally get drunk and set it on fire. |
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PAT NEELY Never point fireworks at anyone. Except my wife. You can set them off from her ass for all I care. But anyone else, I wouldn’t recommend it. |
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PAULA DEEN: Always have melted butter on hand to put out any sparks or flame that may occur when using fireworks. |
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RACHAEL RAY Resist the urge to strip off all your clothes, don an ancient Indian headdress, and run around the back yard screaming YUMMO. Just trust me on that one, kids. |
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SANDRA LEE Enjoy a Semi-Homemade 4th of July this year! Just buy chips, buy soda, buy cookies, buy vodka, and put it all out on a picnic table with a tacky tablecloth that you also bought. And voila, you’re done! |
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TYLER FLORENCE Always preheat the grill for at least 4 minutes without opening the lid. This will get the grill nice and hot, and will also give you time to flirt with all the women at the party before your wife gets there. |
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---Next Food Network Stars: They’re Back
---Old Food Network Stars
---Holiday Weight Loss Tips For Food Network Fans

















THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.









OMG! I laughed so hard I cried. The tips from the Neelys are hands down my favorite. How do you come up with this stuff?! HILARIOUS!!!
Give Sandy her own personal cooler
hahaha
Cheers – Happy 4th !
(to Snadra especially)
Aunt Sandy has an alternative option: skip the other crap and just hit the vodka!!
Happy Fourth, everybody!!
FUNNY! Another great post from FNH. Happy 4th everybody
I laughed my ass off at the bottom of a cooler being “eye level” to Noah Starr. Seriously hysterical. Enjoy your holiday guys.
Ina Garten:
Make sure that all the fireworks are: “good.”
Happy 4th!
Hahaha I love the Ina comment.
Too funny!