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4th Of July Tips From Your Food Network Stars
Posted on July 3rd 2009 by Jillian Madison

FNH wants to wish everyone a happy and healthy 4th of July! If you follow these helpful bits of advice, your celebrations should go off without a hitch. Enjoy!

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AIDA MOLLENKAMP
Pack raw meats, poultry, and seafood on the bottom of the cooler. Or as Noah Starr calls it, EYE LEVEL.
ALTON BROWN
Use a separate cooler for drinks so the one containing the food won’t constantly be opened and closed. Note: if Sandra Lee will be attending your picnic, just give her her own cooler.
DUFF GOLDMAN
If you run out of ketchup or mustard, just use some fondant instead.
GIADA DE LAURENTIIS
MOT-ZAHHHHH-RELLLL-LAHHHHHHHHHHH!
GUY FIERI
Always wash your hands after handling raw meat – or accidentally touching my hair.
INA GARTEN
Remember to wear a life preserver when watching fireworks from your gay companion’s $64.2 million dollar yacht.
GINA NEELY
Remember, ladies, your husband’s penis is NOT a firecracker. Never accidentally get drunk and set it on fire.
PAT NEELY
Never point fireworks at anyone. Except my wife. You can set them off from her ass for all I care. But anyone else, I wouldn’t recommend it.
PAULA DEEN:
Always have melted butter on hand to put out any sparks or flame that may occur when using fireworks.
RACHAEL RAY
Resist the urge to strip off all your clothes, don an ancient Indian headdress, and run around the back yard screaming YUMMO. Just trust me on that one, kids.
SANDRA LEE
Enjoy a Semi-Homemade 4th of July this year! Just buy chips, buy soda, buy cookies, buy vodka, and put it all out on a picnic table with a tacky tablecloth that you also bought. And voila, you’re done!
TYLER FLORENCE
Always preheat the grill for at least 4 minutes without opening the lid. This will get the grill nice and hot, and will also give you time to flirt with all the women at the party before your wife gets there.

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Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Secret Diary Entries Of The Food Network Stars (part 1)
---If The Food Network Stars Had Vanity Plates…
---Next Food Network Stars: They’re Back
---Holiday Weight Loss Tips For Food Network Fans
---Where Do Food Network Stars Hide Their Easter Eggs?

    8 Responses

  1. April March says:
    July 3, 2009 at 10:55 am

    OMG! I laughed so hard I cried. The tips from the Neelys are hands down my favorite. How do you come up with this stuff?! HILARIOUS!!!

    Reply
  2. *Di* says:
    July 3, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Give Sandy her own personal cooler
    hahaha
    Cheers – Happy 4th !
    (to Snadra especially)

    Reply
  3. Byrdie says:
    July 3, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Aunt Sandy has an alternative option: skip the other crap and just hit the vodka!!

    Happy Fourth, everybody!!

    Reply
  4. dan says:
    July 3, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    FUNNY! Another great post from FNH. Happy 4th everybody

    Reply
  5. alexis says:
    July 3, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    I laughed my ass off at the bottom of a cooler being “eye level” to Noah Starr. Seriously hysterical. Enjoy your holiday guys.

    Reply
  6. JohnLuvsFoodNetwork says:
    July 4, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Ina Garten:

    Make sure that all the fireworks are: “good.”

    Happy 4th!

    Reply
  7. Nutmeg Nanny says:
    July 6, 2009 at 10:42 am

    Hahaha I love the Ina comment.

    Reply
  8. Barb says:
    July 19, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Too funny!

    Reply

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