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Caption This Guy Fieri Photo: FNH Style
Published on: July 24, 2009 – 9:36 am by Jillian Madison 
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Are you guys on Facebook? No? Me neither. Luckily, FNH reader Lisa IS, and she wrote in to tell us about the silly “Caption This Guy Fieri Photo And Win 2 Free Tickets To Our Overpriced NYC Wine & Food Festival” contest that the Food Network is running over there.
99% of the captions were clearly left by single brain celled Fieri fans who dropped out of school in the 8th grade to pursue lives as sideshow attractions with a traveling circus. “I loved that dish so much, I put it in my book! Now I crave that dish…. Must have now!!!!!,” wrote one person. “Take a BIG BITE out of Guy’s favs, with some Tripple D action at home,” wrote another.
I stopped reading after 12 seconds. Each caption was somehow more un-funny than the one before.
So let’s have at it, guys. Caption the photo FNH STYLE and and let’s show the Food Network how funny photo captions are really done.
Here’s our suggestion. Don’t forget to leave yours in the comments!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---PHOTO/VIDEO: Guy Fieri Imposter Interviewed On TV---Photo Recap: Giada’s Weekend Getaway (Maui, Hawaii)
---Bobby Deen Posts Twitter Photo With His “Girl”
---Guy Fieri At Kentucky Derby (And The Story Of A Lame FLICKR User)
---Guy Fieri Given “Award Of Excellence”
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
” I made a dish so disgusting. I think the paper in this book would taste better!”
Guy bites, big (time)!
“This book is worthless. I’ll dispose of it the only way I know how…”
“You’d think think this book would be dry eats, but baby, with all the hair product dripping into it from my bleach job, it’s money moist and triple D-lishious!”
(Insert over the top annoying laugh from him here.)
“You think I am disgusting now, just wait till I parp it out my ass”.
“What do you mean books dont count as food?”
“The fiber from this paper will make my turds as stiff and my hair!”
Eat me
“Look what I just threw up!”
“The pages double as floss. It’s a win, win!”
“This just goes to show that I’ll eat anything!”
“I took a trip down to Flavor Town and tried to pay a pros with it but she wouldn’t take it.”
I’m eating my own crap!
“Buy my book, or else I’ll star in even MORE Food Network shows!”
“It’s still better than whatever me, Pintor, and Kleetus are usually cookin’ up.”
You probably hate me almost as much as I hate myself, and you gotta LOVE THAT!
“And you thought the prick I had in my mouth _last night_ was big…”
I have to eat it because I can’t read it.
“Some guy bet me $20 to lick the picture on the back. Now my tongue is stuck to the paper, and he’s laughing his ass off. Bob Tushman can be such a prick sometimes.”
Winner winner, cut n paste dinner!
I am become Fieri, eater of worlds.
Look – it comes with a built in garbage disposal!
@ Cristine…perfect caption, sums it up perfect.
“I’m eating my own crap” =)
Brought to you by Chomp-o-vision
…or is that Chump-o-vision? ;)
And here’s an example of why you shouldn’t wear sunglasses indoors!
“Just when you thought I couldn’t get any douchier!!”
I’m a dickhead, watch me eat a book.
Let me prove how much I am in love with myself. How narcissistic, white trash can that be?
“Wanna see my little mushroom cap pecker after this ?”
@Sarah – LOL!
Cookie Monster eating noises
“A generous helping of Guy-spit with every copy . . . at no extra charge!”
“If I hear Sandra Lee pronounce it as “EX”presso one more time, I am going to eat this @!$^&# book!”
When I’m around you don’t need a garbage disposal! Feed me!
“Hey Kleetus, watch me eat a kopy of my kewl hardkover book.
…NOM NOM NOM…”
“Not even close to the first time I had me in my own mouth, and I’ve got the cervical collar to prove it!”
If you can’t read it, eat it.
@ *DI* this is random but have you ever heard of the website woofboard?
eat this, Reggie Southerland.
… and JUN wins!
“Hey Kleetus, watch me eat a kopy of my kewl hardkover book…NOM NOM NOM…”
had me roflol
This book tastes better than any of the recipes inside it!
An Open Letter to Jillian,
Your posts are getting boring. Same thing over and over. It used to be funny but now it’s stupid. Maybe everyone tells you how great you are and it’s gone to your head. Bye to your websites…all the haters gather here…especially loved Ina’s stump. Way to go, super pc for the handicapped or vets that have lost body parts, yeah that’s funny. I will not miss you.
“Hey ma, is this how I read books?”
I feel bad for his skin.
I wish I had $1 for everyone at Facebook who wrote, “This book tastes like chicken” and thought it was funny! The comments in this thread are hilarious.
“I’m eating this book, because everything I made tasted like shit.”
I’m not very funny. Thankfully you all are and this post gave me a laugh on an otherwise boring Friday night. I do think I lost 1000 brain cells reading those dumb captions on the Food Network facebook page, though!
Blow me Cate. No one here will miss your ungrateful whiny ass. PEACE.
“Buy this book – I need money for a name brand pair of sunglasses.”
Cate, you are an 24-karat asshole. It seems like you are one of those self-absorbed, immature malcontents that believes everyone and everything around you exist only for your pleasure and entertainment. Have you ever made any contributions here? Didn’t think so. Do you have any idea how much mental energy and hard work goes into creating and maintaining this website, coming up with stuff every day for YOUR entertainment? Didn’t think so. Go fuck yourself.
*ignoring negative comments*
Sorry, I don’t have a pen. Do you mind if I sign this book with my molars instead?
Let’s all huddle around Cate and give her a big group hug because she has a flipper.
(And Cate, just an FYI, but the Ina post was funny because she’s NOT actually disabled.)
Sounds like Cate could use a snort or two from Aunt Sandy’s Fake Lemonade and Jack Daniels (covered with black tape) punch.
oh lmao
“I’m eating my own crap!”
The ONLY really BIG bite you’re gonna have is the bite on your wallet when you buy this piece of crap book!
Hi my name is Guy Fee-ettdi and I learned to lick books when I was in the Opportunity Class Grades 4-8.
It was then I learned I had a learning disability.
Don’t make fun of me.
Crap! For a second I thought I was under Bob Tuschman’s desk.
If I could, I would eat myself every day!
His ego won’t allow his book to slide off of the New York Time’s “best seller” #1 list. Guy eats his book, assuring it’s place as #2 for eternity. *flush*
A double flush assures that Sandra Lee will have to come up with her own tablescape for her celebration of “brown gravy from an envelope” and “all of the possibilities” tablescapes. No “paper machet` douchet`” contribution from good ole Guy. Suck it, Sandra!
“I just fell ‘off the chain’ and all I had to eat was trashy book.”
“Where is Sandra, I need a drink with this”
Buy now, and each copy will be personally and lovingly coated with Guy-spittle! It’s just as if you’re on his show with him in person!
“I didn’t write this book, but if I can make a dollar, I’m happy to put my name on it.”
“Books are a great source of fiber!”