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Garbage Picking: Food Network Studio Dumpsters

Published on: July 7, 2009 – 1:30 pm by Jillian Madison Comment

garbage-picking-foodnet

Ever wonder what little treasures you could find, or what dirty little secrets you could uncover, just by weeding through someone’s trash? We sure have, and we thought it would be fun to snoop around the Food Network studio trash cans. Bring your rubber gloves, a hefty pair of boots, and some overalls, and let’s go a-garbage-pickin!

DISCOVERIES:

1) A ripped pair of Knuckle Sandwich cargo shorts with a tube sock stitched into the crotch. In one pocket we found Binaca breath spray and in the other, an Italian phrase book.

2) An autographed photo of Amy Finley.

3) A used Depends diaper. Our best guess? Paula Deen.

4) A page from Aida’s diary that read: “I long to see Noah naked again. The other night I walked in on him Googling himself in the buff. His manhood was just…” (the entry abruptly ended.)

5) A box of promo photos of Debbie Lee wearing nothing but a Korean flag.

6) Giada’s old backpack. In it we found the following: 2 torn water bras, an empty canister of tooth whitener, and something she wrote called “101 ways to kill Rachael Ray”. The following entries were highlighted:

#36 – replace orange knife with chainsaw

#44 – place explosives under garbage bowl

#79 – disconnect gas line in back of her ugly old oven

#93 – place hidden spikes in her slide-out pantry

7) A weathered cue card that stated: “PAULA – REMEMBER, DON’T EAT THE CARAMEL. THE DOCTOR SAID IT PUTS TOO MUCH STRESS ON YOUR DENTURES.”

8) One of Anne Burrell’s old, torn girdles that had been refashioned into a slingshot prop for Good Eats

9) A dismembered intern who was done away with after she handed Bobby Flay coffee that was too cold.

10) A wall mirror that Tyler Florence broke after it failed to tell him he was the “fairest one of all”







  1. avatar Judith
    July 7th, 2009

    That is such a cute photo of Rachael and her hubby–he looks a lot cleaner than he usually does doesn’t he?

  2. avatar foodfanatic
    July 7th, 2009

    @Judith- Brilliant observation!

    Tyler Florence poses for pictures like he’s Robert Pattinson or something. Admittedly, he is kinda good looking, but he always looks bloated..and pink

  3. avatar Byrdie
    July 7th, 2009

    Also found: a sack of old ten dollar bills from the set of “Barefoot Contessa” (how good could soiled bills be?)

  4. avatar Sandra
    July 7th, 2009

    LOL-good one Judith
    TyFlo has gained A LOT of weight over the past couple of years.
    Also found an empty bottle of vodka-that smells of vanilla eggstract and whipped topping from one of Aunt Sandy’s tablescapes

  5. avatar *Di*
    July 7th, 2009

    ” 5) A box of promo photos of Debbie Lee wearing nothing but a Korean flag. ”

    But, I don’t understand . . . why a KOREAN flag ?

    Also found: thousands of half-empty seasoning packets

  6. avatar Kitty
    July 7th, 2009

    Haha, good one, Byrdie. Any half-used bottles of good vanilla extract in there? Maybe some hydrangeas or a Mercedes with less than 1000 miles?

  7. avatar Chris
    July 7th, 2009

    Also forgot to mention the contract every FN personality must sign in blood with Satan for their immortal soul, in return for their FN success

  8. avatar Byrdie
    July 7th, 2009

    Wow! Look. Melted camera lenses from too many extreme closeup shots of Ina’s oven.

  9. July 7th, 2009

    [...] Original post:  Garbage Picking: Food Network Studio Dumpsters « Food Network Humor [...]

  10. avatar Shadowy
    July 7th, 2009

    What a lovely picture of Rachael in her home.

  11. avatar potty mouth princess
    July 7th, 2009

    Di, Debbie wraps herself in her Korean heritage every chance she can get, despite the fact she really hasn’t cooked anything distinctly Korean, nor can she speak the language.

  12. July 7th, 2009

    Also found:
    35 empty bottles of Advil, 23 empty bottles of Extra Strength Tylenol, 45 TUMS wrappers and 12 empty Pepto Bismal bottles – all from the poor folks who have to work with, video tape, coddle, cajole, interview and cook with the FN hosts.

    I mean, could you imagine going through umpteen hours of NFNS tape just to edit down to a 1-hour episode? Or 6 hours of Fietti tape, just to edit it down to a 7-minute segment for DDD? Every week, for weeks on end?

    Truly, the unsung heroes of the Food Network!

  13. avatar Matt
    July 7th, 2009

    Don’t forget Aunt Sandy’s breathalyzer.

  14. avatar Tina
    July 8th, 2009

    Rachael looks so adorable in this picture!!

  15. avatar Turtle
    July 8th, 2009

    No. 2 had me on the FLOOR…

    I have to stand up for Debbie Lee. I know the Mean Girls have decided she’s the punching bag this season, but I have to lay some blame on “TNFS” producers for humping one’s culinary point of view over and over and over…

    Y’know, after the second time she brought up being Korean without explaining what that means to her, someone at panel could have said, “Debbie, next time we need you to explain what that means” rather than allowing her to continually step in it and embarrass herself on national television merely for the sake of a contrived character arc… Oh, forget it.

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