Next Food Network Star »

Next Food Network Star #505: LIVE BLOG

Published on: July 5, 2009 – 7:29 pm by Jillian Madison Comment

live-blogging-nfns

Hi, I’m Jillian Madison, and I’ll be live-blogging tonight’s episode of Next Food Network Star! Ready? Let’s go!

9:01 pm: The final six traveled to the Food Network Kitchens and met up with Bobby Flay, who said today was going to be like their “midterms.” Ironic much? You dropped out of high school, Bobby. What the hell do you know about midterms?!

9:04: On tonight’s episode, the finalists will be doing their first ever cooking demo with Rachael Ray, who showed up to pimp her Yum-o organization and daytime talk show. They have to turn traditionally “adult” foods like tofu and squid into kid-friendly meals, and present their creations to Bobby Flay, Rachael Ray and 3 random kids (I’ll take “Producers’ Children” for $500 please, Alex.)

9:06: Katie actually said YUM-O during her presentation. Is she for real? Get your own annoying catchphrase, honey. I’m sure you have plenty of them.

9:07: Debbie once again mentioned she was KOREAN, before completely choking during her presentation and undercooking her brussel sprouts. Melissa did well, but poor Michael crashed and burned. He seems like a nice guy, but the camera makes him more uncomfortable than a pair of naked breasts.

9:08: Jeffrey was his usual, boring, monotone self during his presentation.  Random question: would it kill him to dry his hair before showing up for the interviews? I’m seriously sick of looking at his greasy head. It shines like the top of the Chrysler building. (Orphan Annie and Miss Hannigan would be proud.)

9:14: Oh look, an Iron Chef commercial with Morimoto and Bobby Flay sweating into food. How appetizing.

9:17: Next, the final six will be preparing for an on-air demo on Rachael Ray’s show, where they’ll have to turn kid foods into adult foods. Katie and Debbie will be making adult mac & cheese, Melissa and Michael will be making tomato soup and grilled cheese, and Jeffrey and Jamika will be making hot dogs and baked beans.

9:19: Debbie said she doesn’t use whole wheat pasta much because it tends to dry up. Like the flaky gel on Jeffrey’s hair.

9:21: The teams are working well together… except Jamika and Jeff. There’s a lot of awkward tension going on between them. Actually, now that I think about it, this episode is focusing a LOT on Jamika, which tells me she will probably be the one going home tonight. That saddens me, because Katie Cavuto’s voice makes me envious of Marlee Matlin.

9:28: Jeez, how tall is Rachael Ray? She looks like an Oompa Loompa. I had no idea she was 3′ 5″.

9:30: Rachael Ray introduced the NFNS judges and asked them what they’d be looking for in the contestants during today’s challenge. Bobby said he wanted someone to “bring the audience to their feet.” Sorry, Bobby, but none of these people will be able to do that. Where’s Tina Turner when you need her?

9:33: Melissa and Michael are first. and they have 5 minutes to cook and prepare their dishes in front of a live studio audience. Melissa is talking faster than a used car salesman, and Michael is just making grunting noises like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. These two are SCARING ME.

9:35: At the end of their presentation, Melissa fed Michael a bite of food off of a skewer. And just like that, America witnessed the most intimate moment Michael has ever shared with a woman. Bless his heart.

9:37: Debbie and Katie are next. Of course, Debbie mentioned she was Korean. Even Bobby Flay said, “she says that every time… I’m Korean…”

9:39: Debbie is ehhhh, but Katie Cavuto is awful. She didn’t look up at the camera once during her entire presentation. Meanwhile, Bob said, “Debbie seems like she belongs on television.” In case it wasn’t obvious enough she’s their pre-determined winner.

Meanwhile, overheard in the Rachael Ray audience:

9:42: Jamika and Jeffrey are last. Jeffrey won’t shut up, and is completely hogging the spotlight. Jamika is not herself, and seems like she’s just going through the motions. It felt like he was bullying her.

9:48: Judging panel! Apparently, we’re already at the halfway point of the show. Bob Tuschman told the contestants, “Now, it’s also about how much star potential we think you have.” Translation: “we don’t care how your food tastes. It’s about how much money you can make us.”

9:50: Susie told Debbie, “I’m a fan of yours, but you’re getting a bit repetitive.” Bobby Flay also called her out on the whole “I’m Korean” thing to her face. She then cried real Korean tears.

9:55: Sidebar: I don’t see any bruise on Debbie’s face, do you? Make-up is good, but it’s not MAGIC. I’m thinking she grossly exaggerated her “I got hit in the face” injury last week.

9:57: ELIMINATION TIME! The bottom three performers tonight are Jamika, Michael, and Katie. And of course, Katie’s crying. Again.

9:58: Bob Tuschman on Katie: “I’m not sure she’s destined for stardom.” NO DUH. I could have told you that months ago and saved you a lot of heartache.

9:59: The person going home tonight is… KATIE CAVUTO!  Finally. I’m thrilled to say I was wrong about Jamika being eliminated. I enjoy watching her, and I look forward to seeing what she can do when not paired with a loud mouthed, egotistical food bully like Jeffrey Saad.

Next week, the final 5 go to Miami and meet up with Ted Allen. Leave your thoughts on tonight’s episode in the comments, and we’ll see you then!



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Next Food Network Star #508: LIVE BLOG
---Next Food Network Star #507: LIVE BLOG
---Next Food Network Star #506: LIVE BLOG
---Next Food Network Star: Episode #502 Recap
---Next Food Network Star: Episode #504







  1. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Good Lord, I hope Katie goes home tonight.

  2. Lendra
    July 5th, 2009

    I hate the intros music. Its like some sort of bad rap.

  3. Debbie-Downer
    July 5th, 2009

    I think Debbie is related to Margaret Cho. Im just saying.

  4. Hunter
    July 5th, 2009

    Helen Keller would have loved Rachel Ray, –she “signs” an AWFUL lot while talking.

  5. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Lets hope Katie cooks that squid this week. SHIT! she just said quick sautee… does that mean she WONT cook it?

  6. Gail
    July 5th, 2009

    Roxie, I agree. I cant stand Katie. Pehaps she wont cook it and be sent packing this week. Good riddance.

  7. RocketMan
    July 5th, 2009

    Michael is too vibrant for the food network.

  8. Dusty
    July 5th, 2009

    Rachel looks DISGUSTED with Debbie.

  9. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Dusty– i totally agree… that was awkward.

  10. THROWBACK-P
    July 5th, 2009

    OMG, Mike-y bit it…SHIT. I at least want to see him take it to the finals.

  11. Dusty
    July 5th, 2009

    RAYRAY–did not like Jamika. Flay was less than impressed. eeeeeeee.

  12. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Jeffrey’s forehead is large…

  13. Jessi
    July 5th, 2009

    Next week, can we expect a live pod-cast of the episode? ;D

    Also, the first thing I thought of was “LITTE KIDS DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE KOREAN, DEBBIE.” God I hate that woman.

    Also, please please please don’t tell me I’m the only one that got a Sandra-Lee vibe from Jamika tonight? “My nephew blah blah call me Aunt blah blah blah.” *shudders* No thanks.

  14. FireCraker007
    July 5th, 2009

    Rocketman, yeah, I agree. He reminds me of CHRIS from Project Runway season 4. Do you think he hangs out at Rubyfruit in NYC?

  15. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Jessi, im in love with the podcast idea.

    Jamika. Ugg, please.

    I really am not liking too many ppl this season. its really disappointing.

    I feel like they will choose a woman for purely demographic reasons… and they dont have anyone asian. I think Debbie is a shoe-in…and I saw in this months issue of FNmagazine, they totally pimped Debbies hotdog rest.

    Jillian is right. They are grooming Debbie.

  16. Hunter
    July 5th, 2009

    I like Michael. His twitter is actually kind of funny, and real.

    Id like to see him and Melissa take it.

  17. UGl
    July 5th, 2009

    I thought I saw Michael and Adam Lambert at RubyFruit.

  18. RocketMan
    July 5th, 2009

    I think Jamika is going home this week. they seem to be focusing an awful lot on her. dont you agree they tend to do that? run alot of clips with folks that they send home.

  19. LENDRA
    July 5th, 2009

    Jessi, I am too sick of Debbie and her “ethnicity”.

  20. Jessi
    July 5th, 2009

    Ooooh my god, Michael is SO painful to watch right now. QUIT GROANING AT THE CAMERA, PLEASE.

  21. jamie
    July 5th, 2009

    YOU’RE KOREAN. WE GET IT.

    I’m so glad Bobby Flay picked up on that. I hope he brings it up at evaluations at the end. It’s getting so old.

  22. PeteyKirch
    July 5th, 2009

    Maybe this isn’t so much rigged…Bobby finally dropping the hammer on Debbie and is fed up with her announcing that she is Korean schtick.

  23. July 5th, 2009

    I hear that Jamie! It’s not like we can’t tell from looking at her. Jamika should announce she is black all the time, too.

  24. jamie
  25. jamie
    July 5th, 2009

    The best parts are when she announces, “I’M KOREAN, SO….” and that’s it. All right, thanks for the announcement!?

  26. PeteyKirch
    July 5th, 2009

    Jamika can’t do a thing. She’s just bobbling her head…

  27. jamie
    July 5th, 2009

    Melissa is like Rachael Ray Version 2.0.

  28. July 5th, 2009

    I wish Rachael Ray would just clear her effing throat.

  29. jamie
    July 5th, 2009

    Is there any evidence why everyone thinks Debbie is the pre-determined winner? Besides FN pimping her hot dog restaurant?

    Also, is this season already all taped and over? Or is the finale live or something? I can’t remember how past seasons have worked.

  30. LENDRA
    July 5th, 2009

    here here give ray ray a loudens.

  31. Jessi
    July 5th, 2009

    I JUST figured it out! Debbie reminds me of Kelsey from last season – except Kelsey had to declare she had just graduated from culinary school ten times an episode. Somehow, this is more annoying. Maybe because Kesley wasn’t guaranteed to win this show based off the fact that she graduated culinary school. Keep flaunting your ethnicity, Debbie! You’ll get far!

  32. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Jamie,

    yes the season is done. From Michael’s twitter: MVPCHEF, it doesnt appear as tho he wins.

    many ppl speculated at the beginning of the season Teddy won, but that never panned out.

    Im PURELY speculating that Debbie wins b/c they have NO ethnicity on the FN. i think susie is pushing for better “demographics”

  33. jamie
    July 5th, 2009

    Aww, Debbie’s tearing up. Boohoo.

  34. July 5th, 2009

    Thank GOD BFlay called out Debbie. Maybe she will STFU about being Korean. Now it’ll be “I’M ASIAN SO I USE GINGER IN EVERYTHING”.

  35. Hunter
    July 5th, 2009

    Jessie, ha, yes she *IS* KELSEY.

    Petey: here you go: lets see if Jamika bobs her head some more. Oh dear.

  36. jamie
    July 5th, 2009

    Thanks for the twitter name! I’ll check it out.

    I do totally understand WHY they’d want Debbie. But I really like Michael, Melissa, and Jeffrey. So, ugh.

  37. Hunter
    July 5th, 2009

    WHOA, what is Jefffffy talking about?

  38. Lendra
    July 5th, 2009

    I CANT STAND BOB TUSHY. WHY IS HE THERE?

  39. RocketMan
    July 5th, 2009

    so uh, when are they going to have Sandra Lee on as a guest judge?

  40. Yeole
    July 5th, 2009

    Michael is so hoping to win for MIAMI–oh yeah, the WHITE PARTY!

  41. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    AS RAY RAY IS TO A RASPY THROAT…

    DEBBIE IS TO CRYING ON PANEL.

  42. Jessi
    July 5th, 2009

    Jamika was so painful to watch tonight, I kind of think she deserves the boot. A bit sad, because I loathe Katie with the passion of a thousand suns… but Jamika, geez, she’s just sad today.

    I feel a bit alone, because I actually really, really like Melissa, haha. I think her food always looks delicious, and I’m glad she’s really showing you don’t have to be a culinary school graduate to cook. Which I guess is a bit Rachael Rayish… but I don’t get that annoying vibe from her. Rachael makes me want to claw my eyes out.

  43. colorado baker
    July 5th, 2009

    Hold the phone! Debbie is Korean?

    ::::eye roll::::

  44. LENDRA
    July 5th, 2009

    Jessie,

    nah, i like melissa… she is one of the best on the show. she knows her sit and is likeable.

  45. 7ate9
    July 5th, 2009

    i thought Debbie was Polish!

  46. PeteyKirch
    July 5th, 2009

    WTF

    Well they are looking for a certain person, and that’s someone who can reach other demos, so this does fuel the fire that someone of a different race, in this case Korean or Black has a good shot.

  47. Jessi
    July 5th, 2009

    GOODBYE KATIE.

    Can’t say I’ll miss you.

  48. July 5th, 2009

    I finally don’t have to look at Katie’s stupid rectangle smile anymore.

  49. 7ate9
    July 5th, 2009

    Petey, dont forget Aaron was put thru last season as the winner, and, working in the industry…I know its very rare to put thru 2 ppl of the same race or ethnicity back to back seasons. sad as it is…its the way media concloms and networks think.

  50. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    anyone else surprised DEBBIE was OK’d the first!?

  51. Lendra
    July 5th, 2009

    JESSI…

    KATIE IS GONE-o!

  52. Roxie
    July 5th, 2009

    Jamika had ONE bad day compared to Katie’s 8.

    they made the right choice, but damn…Jamika should have faked it just a little bit!

    i mean you have beat out THOUSANDS of folks auditioning…suck it up. put your emotional bullshit aside and rock it out like everyone else.

  53. Jessi
    July 5th, 2009

    Really, I think Jamika’s had two bad days – her mashed potato slop last week wasn’t anything to be proud of, that’s for sure.

    At least Katie’s chicken was cooked through this time ;D Still, I’m beyond thrilled she’s gone. I won’t have her buggy eyes giving me nightmares anymore.

  54. Patrick
    July 5th, 2009

    #1: Bobby Flay looks like he has nose-breath (as in, his breath smells so bad you can smell it when he breathes through his nose)

    #2: Thank GOD that bug-eyed health nut is gone. She has no place on FN and there are several other hosts on FN that do the “healthy” thing a lot better than she ever could.

    #3: Hey guys, did you all know that Debbie is Korean? She really is! She IS Korean! Who woulda thunk it?

    PS…Debbie is Korean, FYI

  55. hey
    July 5th, 2009

    melissa reminds me of catherine o’hara in beetlejuice…loud, urgent, pleasureless, driven…but unfortunately not on purpose and not funny

    the fix has to be in on debbie because her personality is grating and one dimensional (HEY GUYZ KOREAN WOMAN HERE) and her perf on RR looked like a ton of fake joviality, not natural or appealing at all

    must feel good to win because you’re the right ethnic puzzle piece…

  56. Patrick
    July 5th, 2009

    They USED to have Ming Tsai and (I think) Martin Yan on Food Network in the good old days before Rachel Ray.

    I have NO clue why they don’t just ask Ming back. I liked watching his show. It was informative and taught how to fit asian ingredients into a western diet

  57. sasha
    July 5th, 2009

    Jill – loved your live blog. It made the show tolerable and I enjoyed reading your live comments! Please do it next week!

  58. alexis
    July 5th, 2009

    Damn! I didn’t know you were live blogging! Are you going to do it next week? I’ll be here if you do! I’m so sick of Jeffrey’s wet, gross looking hair too!

  59. Teague
    July 5th, 2009

    Well at least they FINALLY called Debbie on something. Well Bobby did the other two said nothing except for a few passing words from Suze the Fluze. And yet they really didn’t chastise her for anything yet again. Suze the Fluze came out and openly said she was her favorite. No kidding we had no idea!!

    Katie reminds me of crazy manic Jenn from last season. The one who smashed a glass jar on the cooking surface. She was also a ‘healthy’ cook and made a mashed potato pizza saying it was low carb.

  60. *Di*
    July 5th, 2009

    I can’t bring myself to watch this live – I just watch bits and read the recaps (thank you, Jillian).

    But don’t they keep getting uglier and more haggard as the show progresses (as whatever souls they have left are sucked from them) ?

  61. Shadowy
    July 5th, 2009

    I really, really had the mindset that Debbie was African-American.

  62. Teague
    July 5th, 2009

    I am curious to know how they actually fared of RR’s show as opposed to they way it was portrayed on this show.

    It has become apparent that Teddy , love him or hate him, actually had a good speech they simply showed him stumbling and said he was awful. I wonder how these folks compare.

  63. Leilani
    July 5th, 2009

    OMG @ Patrick! I can’t believe what you said about Bobby Flay…hahahaha! I am so gutted that I was starting to have a crush on him UNTIL you said that.

  64. Judith
    July 5th, 2009

    Jillian–Thank you so much for putting your sanity on the line by doing a play by play of this program. I can’t tell if you’re extremely brave or just totally nuts!!

  65. Cat Chow
    July 6th, 2009

    Debbie’s Korean? Really? I’d never would have guessed, she never mentions it.

    Finally, Bug-eye Kate is gone!!

  66. Cat Chow
    July 6th, 2009

    @Patrick – Ming Tsai is too classy for FN. But catch him on PBS (PBS World to be more specific)

  67. nancy
    July 6th, 2009

    I love this competition! I am so glad that Katie is gone–should have happened a couple of episodes back. Her food was awful, her voice grating, and overall demeanor SO annoying!
    I like Melissa and Michael the best-love their individual styles and very impressed with their culinary talent and creativity. My concern is that Melissa would make me so unnerved to watch. She is always so frantic. I also like Debbie and her food. My prediction is that Jeffrey will be the next to go. Then, Jamika. She has bombed her last two dishes–the gluey potatoes and overspiced hot dogs and beans. Maybe how she was in the beginning is not what she really is. Her food is not all that impressive either. I think it is down to Melissa and Debbie.

  68. Food Fan
    July 6th, 2009

    I recommend checking out RR’s website and view the full five minute videos. Everyone comes out looking better EXCEPT Debbie. Is she Korean? ; )

  69. emma
    July 6th, 2009

    Jeffrey an egotistical food bully?

    I’m not sure we’re watching the same contestant but your blog is sarcastic fun and I look forward to more. And the Debbie Said She’s Korean drinking game is gaining in popularity each week. Kon Bae (Cheers)!

  70. Courtney
    July 6th, 2009

    I’m really liking Bobby this season. He doesn’t have an agenda like Tushy and Fogey. He just straight up tells it like it is. Would dumb and dumber call Debbie out on her bland chicken or her constant yapping about being..Korean, was it? I wonder if he’s even annoyed by the obvious favoritism being showed here.

    I gotta admit the hubby and I are pretty entertained by this show but Melissa is the only one here whose show I could see myself watching. If they pick Debbie I think I’ll pass on next season.

  71. Courtney
    July 6th, 2009

    Also, I don’t feel any prejudice towards overweight people, but it does irritate me to see someone as overweight as Debbie boast about her food being basically anti-health and bring on the fried chicken and heavy cream! Have some more respect for yourself and take a little interest in your well-being for crying out loud! That’s not someone whose show I would want to watch.

  72. N
    July 6th, 2009

    For anyone who actually wants the real presentations, go to RR’s website and watch the full 5-minute clips. The show last night was SO edited. Katie did a GREAT job. Michael and Jamika were the worst. I was rooting for Katie, and now except for maybe Melissa, I won’t be watching the winner’s show.

  73. Cannon
    July 6th, 2009

    To quote PCU:

    “It doesn’t matter who wins, because they’re all losers.”

  74. Leo
    July 6th, 2009

    I’m convinced that Debbie will win. Jamika and Jeffrey offer nothing that people would tune in to see. I think Michael is entertaining, but a bit too over-the-edge, and FN already has a kinda-freaky host in Guy Fieri. (I also wonder how much Michael’s “make out with Bobby Flay” remark hurt him.) Mama Melissa is likeable, but what *unique* quality would she bring to FN’s lineup? Nothing, that I can see.

    That brings us to Debbie, but only by default. She would join Paula Deen, Ina Garten, and Alexandra Guarnaschelli in the Chubby Chefs Club.

  75. DesignerJeans
    July 6th, 2009

    This live blogging and its comments are 10X more entertaining then the show!

    P.S. I believe Debbie is Korean.

  76. JIll
    July 6th, 2009

    @Emma: yes, I suppose calling Jeffrey Saad a “loudmouthed, egotistical food bully” was a bit much. But he annoys the hell out of me, and it’s just what I felt in that moment.

    You guys seem to enjoy the live-blog format more, so we’ll stick to that for next week as well!

  77. Byrdie
    July 6th, 2009

    Buh-bye Katie. Pack your eyeball bag and go home. See ya.

    Wish you could have taken that Korean Chick with you but old Bobbo is totally taken with that Korean Chick, that is coincidentally, Korean!! So the Korean Chick stays and gets to tell us just one more time that she is Korean. Oh, and before I forget, that Korean Chick is, are you ready??? She’s KOREAN! I’m so glad because she’s never shared with us, the huddled masses, that she is KOREAN. She used to be Southern Korean, but lately she is just Korean.

    Now, some things I just hate and can’t take any longer:
    1. There is NO crying in cooking so knock it off;
    2. It’s best NOT to put food under your chin and carry it to your work station; it’s disgusting! (Korean chick blunder);
    3. No matter how badly she performs, the Korean Chick will win;
    4. Stop acting surprised when you are introduced to yet another annoying FN “star” (I mean, my God, where do you think you are? Korea??);
    5. You (and you know who you are!) may be Korean, but I don’t give a rats behind.
    6. Bobbo said “I feel like she’s just delivering a cooking lesson” (Katie) so don’t even think about teaching cooking as that is NOT what a cooking show is for;

    My suggestion is to start a collection and let’s send the Korean Chick to Korea!! I’ll throw in the first twenty,,,

  78. Rose
    July 6th, 2009

    You guys aren’t showing proper respect for Debbie’s ethnic background, which as you might have heard, is Korean. After all, she just wants to introduce Americans to traditional Korean cuisine, like hot dogs with maple syrup on top.

    I actually thought that maple syrup hot dog was something that only desperate potheads with nothing in the fridge except hot dogs and maple syrup would eat, but now I know I was mistaken. If Debbie has it on the menu, it must be Korean! I also didn’t know that garlic was an ingredient that only Koreans used until last night. I like to cook with garlic – perhaps I’m Korean and didn’t know it.

  79. Angela
    July 6th, 2009

    Wasn’t last season all about the “culinary point of view”? Now it seems like all they care about are “life stories” and adding an Asian to their line-up.

    Hey, is Debbie Korean?

  80. Byrdie
    July 6th, 2009

    @Rose – thanks for the giant laugh! Pothead, indeed!! And I also use garlic! wow. And I have syrup!! Yikes… (in a whispering voice: I won’t even admit it in public, but I have hot dogs in the freezer.)

  81. Daria
    July 6th, 2009

    I can see why they picked the bottom 3, any of them could have gone off the show last night in my opinion.

    Jamika: It seems like she has given up to me. She was totally prepared for them to tell her she was out, you can tell by the surprise on her face when they announced Katie was leaving. I don’t think she can handle the pressure.

    Katie: She actually had her best week this week, but they could have let her go long ago if it weren’t for the overshadow of Teddy, Eddie and Brent because her food has been poor and she can’t present it in an interesting way.

    Michael: He definitely can’t handle the pressure of being filmed. If he can’t get over his weird “the camera is judging me” obsession, he can’t have a TV show. Exactly how does a mechanical object judge anyone?

    I’m so sick of Debbie. The whole “I’m Korean” thing every 5 minutes combined with those fat cheeks of hers. But I’m becoming increasingly afraid she might be the winner. They never pick someone I would actually watch on TV.

    The preview of next weeks show looks like some more drama with Melissa, and it sounds like Debbie will be back to her selfish ways.

  82. Scoobie-Doobie-Doo
    July 6th, 2009

    I hate the tag team cooking demos. These people are here to presumably win a single spot of the FN (Yea, I know, not like LAST season). So why should one chef bow to another? Jeffrey took over because he is working for that permanent position. So did Melissa when her partner froze as well.

    I can only guess Jamika is working for a lifetime supply of Murial Eye Drops for Dry Eyes with the way she blinks. Seriously. Try the drops.

    Can anyone clear up Debbie’s nationality? It’s a little unclear. ::eyeroll:: They need to giver her some chitlins to prove her “culinary point of view.” Thank God she hasn’t tried to pass off “umami” as being as Korean as soy sauce.

  83. July 6th, 2009

    RUBYFRUIT HAS BEEN CLOSED FOR MONTHS, PEOPLE!!!

  84. Feikhal Madhur
    July 6th, 2009

    Is that fat chick really Korean ? Will Orca really make it up the St. Lawrence with the film crew following her ?Wait and see.

  85. Joe Blow
    July 6th, 2009

    As the wife says about Melissa, “I actually don’t hate her.”

    I think Melissa could have a show along the same theme as Robin Miller — a quick(er) fix, family meal show — only she wouldn’t be as lame or annoying. I would actually watch her to begin with.

    Jeffrey could also be a decent FN personality, if you discount “personality”. He would be more of a Michael Chiarello: boring, gourmet, “entertaining guests” type show. Probably wouldn’t watch.

    Debbie is shady and lame. Adding soy and ginger to every dish doesn’t make it Korean. I’ve added those ingredients to dishes many times, and I still feel 100% Missourian.

    Jamika is out. Jeffrey didn’t do her any favors — he mentioned he *really* wanted to help her out on the RR show, but from the clips on FN Star, he never actually engaged her to say anything. I haven’t watched the full 5-minute clips yet, but she seems too meek and rehearsed to carry her own show, anyway.

    Michael is just a lame caricature. It’s embarassing to even watch him put on his act. He tries waaay too hard to be fabulous at every opportunity, he freezes in front of every camera, and I can’t ever imagine him on a FN show. What would he do?

  86. Leilani
    July 6th, 2009

    Can I just say, this competition should be about vying to replace an already existing FN show. I know that shows are canceled all the time but if we knew what show the NFNS was going to replace it would make this competition that much more interesting. For example, if we know the winner would replace Sunny Anderson…we would know what to look for to make her *token* time slot more interesting. I’m just saying FN, kill 2 birds with one stone already.
    Cheers mates!

    P.S. I don’t trust Jeffery, Debbie or Jamika. Jeffery is a bully and probably has a small peen, Debbie is a shyster and I think Jamika is having some depression issues that she needs go and deal with and then come back.

  87. Kittykitty
    July 6th, 2009

    You know FN could do something incredibly new and unique for this type of show – they could declare that all the contestants are so awful there will be no winner this season. That would truly be a delightful (and honest) surprise for their viewers. But, no. That would mean having some integrity, and FN lost that a long time ago. BTW, I know this may come as a huge shock to all of you, but I THINK Debbie might possibly be … KOREAN!

  88. Byrdie
    July 6th, 2009

    WHAT? Who’s Korean?

  89. Shadowy
    July 6th, 2009

    I gained a newfound respect for Bobby after her called out Debbie…sort of…

  90. JohnLuvsFoodNetwork
    July 6th, 2009

    bye Katie! Thank goodness, if I had to hear the word “healthy and alternative” come out one more time from her mouth i’m gonna have to throw bacon fat at her!

    Melissa is the most real person there! She has good tips too! My vote is for Melissa!

  91. Coal Miner's Daughter
    July 6th, 2009

    I just received a text from my good (Korean) friend. She told me that Debbie is Korean. Wow.

  92. Automne
    July 6th, 2009

    Katie only did well way too late. But she’s proven that she can’t effectively sell her healthy meal ideas and that she can’t cook meat. The time that she finally serves non-raw meat, it’s dry and overcooked.

    Jamika gave up way too easily. Her endearing personality from challenges past was her saving grace.

    Michael just needs to remove himself from the competition. One cannot have a cooking show when they have a phobia of the cameras.

    Jeffery is way too bland. There’s nothing there that would appeal to anybody and would make us want to watch his show.

    It’s really only down to Melissa and Debbie. Debbie sort of fills a niche that people have been calling for, though I would prefer an Asian chef along the lines of Tsai, Yan, or why not give Morimoto a show? His English is fine, douchebags and we could be given Japanese lessons along the way.

    Melissa appeals the main FN demographic: the stay-at-home mom sect. While I prefer a higher degree of standards for somebody getting a cooking show, not somebody who falls back on the “I should know, I’m a mom!” schtick, at the very least, she proves that SAHMs don’t have the excuse that they like to use of being too busy to cook proper meals for their kids. If my full-time government working parents could come home every night and cook gourmet meals for their daughters, SAHMs have no excuse.

  93. Lollipop
    July 7th, 2009

    Thank you so much for posting this – now I can erase this dreck from the DVR without having to watch it.

  94. Ruthie
    July 7th, 2009

    First of all, Marlee Matlin. Hahaha good one thanks for that.

    Second, thank God that prissy googly-eyes health nut Katie is off the show. She wasn’t there for her cooking ability anyway so NEXTTTTTT

    I don’t think this show is really about finding someone to carry a real show and get real followers. Other than Guy Fieri, none of them have done anything outside their time slot, if at all *cough* Amy Finley…

  95. Ruthie
    July 7th, 2009

    Oh, and:

    대 비 한 국 분 이 쑙니 다?????

  96. Feikhal Madhur
    July 7th, 2009

    I get a real kick out of reading comments from moronic people that think this is a “competition”. Sorry to burst your bubbles you boneheads , but the FN people decided long ago they would need another ethnic gal to round out the lineup and since the station is loaded with tons of white bread, the Korean and black woman have been fastracked. I think the fruit has an outside chance.It all depends on what the focus groups say about him.

  97. Kattee
    July 7th, 2009

    You know for a Korean, Debbie speaks really good english.

    Meow.

  98. Liz
    July 8th, 2009

    I for one hope they are grooming Debbie. I can not stand Jamika who apparently thinks you can cook bland no effort food and win..oh wait that would be like most of the shows on now anyway..

  99. babylonia
    July 8th, 2009

    newsflash. Debbie is still Korean.

  100. July 8th, 2009

    What?! Debbie’s Korean? Why Haven’t I heard this?

  101. David
    July 8th, 2009

    Does anyone else get the feeling that next week’s episode is going to be about Debbie getting the dressing down we want? The end of episode promo talked about how everyone else was helping each other, except Debbie, and we have in the commercials her talking about “being selfless” and Jeffrey talking about how he won’t let someone “play the victim” who doesn’t deserve too?

    Or is this FN just teasing us before pissing us off again?

  102. Steve
    July 9th, 2009

    If Debbie wins, I will remove some loved appendage of my body. She aggravates me to NO END, and the only thing she has going for her is that FN has yet to put an Asian on their network since Ming Tsai.

  103. Steve
    July 10th, 2009

    I just went to Rachel Ray’s website to watch the uncut videos from the NFNS contestants. I have to say… the editing they did on it for the NFNS made it look much worse than it actually was.

    Michael did not do as badly as they made it seem, and Debbie was more obnoxious than they let on (though its to be expected that they put the predetermined winner in a good light.)

    I encourage you all to go take a look at it if you care about the show (it was the episode on july 2nd)

  104. Lisha
    July 10th, 2009

    I LOVE this website. And, you feel exactly as I do about the Next Food Network Star 5 competition going on right now. I so agree that Debbie is their pre-determined winner (as Aaron was last year – sorry Big Daddy), but ever since the first episode, I don’t trust her. I hope Jamika or Melissa win.

  105. jim
    July 10th, 2009

    Does anyone know if Debbie is Korean?

  106. Hakuna Fritatta
    July 11th, 2009

    @Petey
    Well they are looking for a certain person, and that’s someone who can reach other demos, so this does fuel the fire that someone of a different race, in this case Korean or Black has a good shot.
    _______________________________________________________________
    Nah. FN already has 3 Blacks in the stable so it won’t be Jamika. Too bad, I was rooting for her or Michael.

  107. Teri
    July 12th, 2009

    Anyone that would’ve watched a show with Michael has got to be out of their freakin mind…. He is SO incredibly annoying! I’m glad he finally went home. Debbie is annoying too. I would have no interest in watching her. Melissa or Jeffrey would be my choice.

  108. HOOEYJOOEY
    July 13th, 2009

    If Debbie wins its so long to the food network I hope Melissa or Jeffery take the prize Since last years winner was black its time for a blonde to win On Kitchen Nightmares a blonde has won for the last few seasons Go Blondie Thunbs down to Tyler Florence’s version of Texas Chili hooey its disgusting Glad Susie Fogey finally saw some of Debbies very bad faults Both of them need to wear hair nets around the food preparation areas I guess there is no health department monitoring this show I think they should get new panel of judges next year These don’t know real kitchen humor

  109. carol
    July 14th, 2009

    I would like to know who Melissa really is
    She said at the challange with the military people that she was from a poor family and the family ate variations of skirt steak then last challenge she said she grew up in a household with a bi-lingual nanny. Do I sense a contradiction somwhere in all of this. I tried to ask this question on the ask Susie blog on the NFNS websute but they did not post my question

  110. carol
    July 18th, 2009

    WEll a word to the wise foks at NFNS take heed there was a situstion the other night at Bravo TV ON THE FASHION SHOW FINALS that will probably not fare very well for their future ratings.THE ONE THING THAT VIEWERS DISLIKE IS FOR THEIR INTELLIGIENCE TO BE INSULTED, WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAIL AS TO WHAT HAPPENED OVER THERE. CHECK IT OUT. iT WAS UGLY. HOPEFULLY SOMETHING OF THIS NATURE WILL NOT HAPPEN ON THE FOOD NETWORK AS WE NEAR THE END OF THE SEASON. JUST TRY TO BE FAIR I THINK THAT IS ALL MOST PEOPLE EXPECT. WHY RISK LOSING A LARGE NUMBER OF YOUR VIEWERS BY BEING UNFAIR.

  111. john jr
    July 20th, 2009

    Is it me or is Bobby Flay a total douchebag on the show? He is so annoying and arrogant. When he talks, I cringe. I do not understand how anyone can like him or see how he adds any value to the show.

  112. Dennis
    July 20th, 2009

    Why is FN hanging to Debbi she is a liar and a schemer. she have gotin the boot long ago. is this thing rigged from the start or what?????

  113. carol
    July 21st, 2009

    FN viewers will not watch a show hosted by Debbie. Thats all there is to it. Four NFNS judges will not have any impact on FN ratings if she gets a show, but rest assured hundreds maybe even thousands of FN fans will, when they tune her show out.

  114. Matthew
    August 2nd, 2009

    OMG I am completely suprised and angered by the judges decision to let Milisa through to become the winner it was a bad call by FN they needed a new fresh idea not one that has been used over and over again.

  115. Matthew
    August 2nd, 2009

    I am completely angered by the decision to let milisa through to win the show. This was a very bad move by FN. They neede a new fresh idea not one that has been used over and over again.!!!!!!

  116. WalterSobchak
    August 2nd, 2009

    This was a horrible decision. I won’t watch her show.

  117. Maria
    August 2nd, 2009

    Oh My God, I can not believe it, they really got it wrong, I will not be interested in a show with Melissa. Apparently Suzy and Bob think that the viewers of the food network are all stupid bad cooks that want little un-interesting, un-inlightning comments to put a meal together. The opposite of this would be more true. Most viewers are people very interested in cooking, and very passionate about it. People I know that watch the food network, love to cook! People that don’t cook and do not know how to cook, or do not like to cook do not watch!!!!!! Cooks are your audience!!! We are entertained by watching food be prepared and enjoy new ideas and different takes on things. We enjoy being entertained by someone with a different perspective, that is interesting, enlightning, funny, and knowlegable. Like Paula Dean!! Melissa brings nothing new to the table. Jeffrey had much more to offer. The consept was even great, new spices, and ingredients from far off places..bringing them back and showing us what to do with them, we could have even traveled with him..shopped with him!!!! I feel cheated! I cook for a living, I do not want or need little tips, I have been down that road many times before, done this, did that, nothing interesting or new in what she says. Sorry Melissa, I will not be watching your show. Maybe you should let the people pick the winner, like American Idol.

  118. Maria
    August 2nd, 2009

    Bobby, I hope you don’t think this is what your veiwers want, you are a very interesting fun person to watch, respected for the way you cook, who you are and what you have done.

  119. ann
    August 2nd, 2009

    I doubt her show will be watched you have to have a very strong and unique personality to last on that channel, she does not qualify. very few of the past winners became household names .

Post a Comment






food network humor contact phone number

HELP US PAY THE BILLS!
Monthly goal: $150
Collected so far: $20
If you enjoy the content on Food Network Humor and would like to help me pay the website bills, please use the "donate" option below. Any amount is greatly appreciated.
Thank you! -Jill



LISTEN TO THE LATEST PODCAST: Episode 11

THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.

DOWNLOAD/SUBSCRIBE:
DOWNLOAD THE MP3  iTunes Feedburner



LEGAL DISCLAIMER
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.