Giada De Laurentiis »
Photo Recap: Giada’s Weekend Getaway (Maui, Hawaii)
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Did you catch Giada’s Weekend Getaway over the weekend? No? That might be because it was aired during the highly prestigious 4 AM time slot. Don’t worry though, we’ll have you caught up on all the action in no time.
Within moments of landing in Maui, Giada tripped in line at the buffet station. She tragically fell into a pile of prickly Hawaiian fruit. “My eyes! My eyes!”, she agonizingly screamed.
The producers immediately rushed her to the island’s best opthamologist, who skillfully removed the lodged kiwi fruits from her eye sockets. The doctor also gave her a pair of protective sunglasses, usually only worn by skydivers and/or the mentally ill, to wear until the damage healed.
Giada started feeling better after only a few hours. So, she rented a Jeep and proceeded to endanger the lives of everyone around her by making funny faces at the camera instead of paying attention to the road.
She then took a break from all the action to enjoy some GEL-AHHHHHHH-TOOOOO-UHHHHH.
No Hawaiian vacation is complete without a pretty tropical cocktail! The next day, Giada sipped on a libation from a glass that was almost as big as her head. Judging from her reaction, she either really liked the drink… or has to do a #2. The world may never know.
Time for a Blue Hawaiian helicopter tour! Look, there are those sunglasses again! (This photo brought to you by the number 8.)
Giada didn’t skydive out of the helicopter. She did, however, take time to enjoy the view and point out many of the more amusing local sights.
Unfortunately, after the helicopter tour, Giada started experiencing more eye pain. The opthamologist did emergency cataract surgery, and sent her on her way with these lovely Blueblockers.
Like all good things, this trip had to come to an end. Sorry, guys, there were no bikini photos of Giada this time around. The closest we got was a 1 second shot of her coming out of the water in an O’Neill surf shirt, with her left breast partially covered by that unnecessarily oversized Food Network logo. Drats. Maybe next time.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---This Weekend On The Food Network…---This Weekend On The Food Network…
---Photos Of Giada At A Book Signing
---Giada, You Slut, Keep Doing What You Do To Me
---Spend A Weekend With Sandra Lee – Starting At Just $1,047!
- Giada De Laurentiis
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(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
27 Responses
That last shot almost had my lava flowing. Dear Food Network, please send Giada to Hedonism II.
Why couldn’t I be born a Delaurentis?
I could really go for some of that “charmed life” action about now…
*dreams of getting paid to go to Hawaii to eat and drink while she slaves away in her cubicle*
Next time she should wear larger sunglasses, they weren’t large enough. She did have an easy life, but when I met her she was very down to earth. I don’t see her as a diva but her enunciation of Italian words is quite annoying. As an Italian I cringe when people say “managot” for manicotti and “rigot” for ricotta.
Was this show taped in the 70′s?? I havent’ see that many giant sunglasses since Maude went off the air.
She’s a year too late – those bug-eye glasses were hot LAST year. But then, Anthropologie is usually a year or two behind the times.
Geez her sunglasses take up most of her face!
Anthropolgogie are a year or two behind the times because they need are always reinterpretting someones eles’s designs. Nothing original coming out of that shop.
I think Giada is trying to do her best Gina Lollobrigida or Sophia Loren impersonation with those shades. After all she fancies herself in that league.
Hey give her some credit! At least she’s not wearing those cheap sunglasses around her neck like Guy Ferry!
In the first picture, Giada is a dead ringer for Susie Fogelson.
Does she remind anyone else of the nutcracker? I mean, man those teeth!!!!
George, that’s a riot! HA!!
Giada is an updated version of the song from “A Chorus Line”: Tits and teeth!
What no shot of Giada coming out of the water á la Sophia Loren in “Boy on a Dolphin”? I feel cheated.
Tatiana, I think the last time this show had new episodes WAS in 2008. She was right on time with those big-ass sunglasses. And not everything Giada wears is Anthropologie–she hangs out with Max Mora.
Okay, point taken. BTW, it’s Max Mara.
She looks like Jackie O. in the second pic. She used to wear those huge sunglasses too. Must be the ‘charmed life’ look, eh?
I guess the writer of this post assumes all men are attracted to women and no women are. Some women would have loved to have seen more boobage ;).
The boobage is the only reason to watch. Everything else is annoying
@ Sandra:
As an Italian, you should know that almost no Italians actually pronounce the end vowels in Italian words. Go to Italy, and you’ll never hear someone pronounce the end “e” in Bolognese or the “i” in Napoli.
Though, I can’t argue that she absolutely butchers her Italian pronunciation. You’d think she’d realize that the O in mozzarella sounds like ‘O’ and not ‘Ahh’. And that
I’ve never pretended that “managot” or “rigot” or any other such pronunciation was “correct”, but that’s New England italian, and that’s how it’s ordered in specialty shops around here.
I wonder if people are so into Giada just because she is pretty or because she is a really good chef…
@Liz I’ve been to Italy. I’m talking about the Italian-Americans who say “managot” and “rigot” that’s what I cringe at because they think that is the correct way to pronounce the words. If you are talking about Southern Italy their dialect is way different than Northern Italy. My family is from Napoli and the dialect is very different than Rome or Florence or Venice. In the US if you learn “real” Italian in school you would pronounce the “e” in Bolognese and the “i” in Napoli.
BobbyFlayFan’s right – it’s a New England thing. We also say “moooooootzarellll”. Cringe away.
The Hawaiian fruit pic was mortifying. And in the last pic, I didn’t realize she had an aquiline nose.
@ Sandra
You are completely correct about the American-Italian thing. Many American Italians incorrectly pronounce those words and think they’re doing it right… it’s terrible to listen to. My family is from Calabria, so yes that may be so. And you’re also correct in saying that schools will teach you to pronounce the end vowels… it’s like a classic Italian thing that many Italians don’t really follow.
You have a hilarious writing style. I really enjoyed reading this. The pictures weren’t bad, either, pity you never got that bikini shot!