Here’s a collection of actual e-mails we’ve received from some “interesting” people over the past few weeks, along with our responses in red.

1. Margie S. wrote in saying:
When I have a day off I make sure I watch Rachael Ray’s talk show, it’s so interisting. Ya know I fell into this trap (you should really watch where you’re going). I’d give anything to have a set of Rachel Ray’s cookware (Why all the drama? Just go buy it at Kohls) so I went to the site and signed up to win the free set and in the end I couldn’t even finish. I can’t have all that crap comming into my computer (Since you’re a Rachael Ray fan, apparently you’re only tolerant of crap “comming” out of your television).  Once you start it’s all over (I’m like that with Ruffles potato chips.) I’ll be spamed forever. I thought it was a fair contest.  I’m an average person trying to make a living and wishing to win something for nothing I guess. That’s the saying. Nothing is ever free. (Tell that to Dire Straits, who get “money for nothin’ and their chicks for free.”)
My hopes are diminished. -Margie S

2. Jane Myers wrote in saying:
Hello. (Hello!) I was going to email you and tell you how much I like and enjoy the Sandra Lee show on Sundays at 12 noon. I have set my TV recorder for every week when her show is on and then watch it later at my leisure (Thanks for sharing. We really give a shit about your TV viewing schedule.) . I love the way she presents the combining of her ingredients in her recipes as the dishes turn out to be something that looks delicious, easy and doesn’t break the bank. She is very knowledgeable (about Cool Whip), charming and so pleasant to watch and listen to and I am collecting a lot of her recipes to try (remember to purchase some Pepto Bismol along with your seasoning packets). I stumbled on all the nasty, cruel and stupid comments made by people who obviously don’t watch the food channel to learn to cook, but to trash people because evidently this is what they think they are on this earth to do (You mean as opposed to Guy Fieri, who was put on this Earth to scream in our faces and chew with his mouth open?) and feel so inadequate about themselves that they Need TO TRASH someone else. 

My intention in the beginning was to commend you on her program every Sunday, but I was so shocked at the horrible put-downs I read from apparently retarded viewers (Ouch! Kiss your disabled mother with that mouth?) I was very disappointed at the comments and am ashamed, as well, of the low class of people we have in this country who watch TV (Damn all of you low class TV watchers!). America needs some class. Maybe you should start a sister channel titled “America needs to learn some class”!!! (Wow. That’s a very lengthy name for a channel. And it doesn’t even make a good acronym: ANTLSC. Sorry. Try again.)

3. Russell wrote in saying:
please have sunny email me at *****@bellsouth.net it would make me very happy to talk to her. Dont let the haters steal your joy. Russellb
(Yeah. We’ll get right on that, after we finish stealing what’s left of her joy.)

4. Charlene wrote in saying:
Today is Sunday and there was no Money Saving Meals with Sandra Lee. When is her next episode??? I look forward to this show every week. The recipes are delicious.
(Charlene, we’ve taken the liberty of signing you up for TV Guide’s free online service. Live it. Learn it. Love it.)

5. Naomi wrote in saying:
Who won the challenge to make Kerry Vincent’s birthday cake? We had a TERRIBLE storm here in Pittsburgh and lost our electricity at 7:55, so we missed who she picked. THANK YOU!!!!
(Sorry, we have no idea who won. And just so you know, that wasn’t a storm that took out your power. Rachael Ray was in town filming $40 A Day and accidentally ate a circuit breaker. Yum-ouch.)

6. Candy Owens wrote in saying:
I THINK PAT AND GINA ARE WONDERFUL!!! (WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!!!) THEY MAKE A CUTE COUPLE AND SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER (Yeah, I love it when men pinch my ass and make excessive demands for sugar). GINA AND PAT ARE A GOOD LOOKING COUPLE AND PEOPLE NEED TO NOT BE SO JEALOUS!!! (What exactly are we jealous of? Gina Neely’s lisp or the fact that Pat Neely looks like his make-up was applied by a mortician?) THEY MAKE BEING TOGETHER IN THE KITCHEN LOOK FUN RATHER THAN GETTING IN EACH OTHERS WAY. LEAVE A GOOD THING ALONE!!! THEY ARE GREAT. -CANDY OWENS, PLANT CITY, FL
(Sorry, Candy, you didn’t convince us. You may buy into their phony theatrics, but we find it nauseating. Like Gina’s shrimp corn dogs.)

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