Published on: August 31, 2009 – 10:16 am by Jillian Madison 
(These are actual government safety cards/images – reworked as Food Network warning signs:)
 |
If Bobby Flay’s rooftop grill explodes, run like hell and don’t stop ’til you hit Brooklyn. |
 |
Always wash your hands after coming into contact with Guy Fieri. |
 |
Sandra Lee’s cooking may cause digestive discomfort. Also, your respiratory system may shut down. |
 |
If you hear Melissa D’Arabian dispensing advice about food, shield your ears as quickly as possible. |
 |
Electricity can not penetrate Ina Garten’s BMW sport wagon. |
 |
Do not steal from Rachael Ray’s pantry or filing cabinet. |
 |
If Giada’s boobs are hanging out, alert your friends by blowing your whistle. If you’re bald, just yell really loudly. |
 |
To avoid unpleasant surprises and sights that will scar you for life, always listen at the door before entering a room the Neely’s are occupying. |
 |
Always think carefully after you’ve been sprayed with Paula Deen’s radioactive hairspray. |
 |
Remember to read and comment on Food Network Humor as much as possible during your workday. |
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---
Food Network Loves Giada’s Boobs---
Food Network Monopoly Cards---
Food Network Christmas Cards: 2009---
Food Network Humor Monopoly Cards (Part 2)---
Giada’s Husband, Todd Thompson
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
I always feel like I need to wash my hands after just watching Guy on TV. What a greasy person he is…..
Jillian, you’ve outdone yourself on this one! LMFAO!!
I think the first picture is what happens if you light a match near Guy’s greasy chemically-enhanced hair.
funny stuff ladies
I LOVE the Ina Garten BMW sport wagon one!
Those are great but uh–Who would EVER come into contact with Guy Fatheddy? ewwwwwwwww…..Now someone has to change the labels on ALL those douchebag packages and alert the public en masse….
How about the safety signs on airlines? Like assuming “crash” position for the oncoming wreck at FN or the “occupied” sign indicating that the facilities are in use by a fleet of a$$holes :))
@Cherry Rose – or the proper use of the “waste bags” (e.g. the good ol’ air sickness bags)
“..the proper use of the “waste bags”..”
LOL! Good one.
This posting was so funny. Thank you for brightening my day.
For me the funniest was the one about Giada’s boobs :)
As promised- I went to the Alton Brown 10th yr “Good Eats” live show here in Atlanta Saturday night. Over 1,000 fans. Ted Allen was the MC but could not even be a match for AB. My take- Alton is NOTHING like his “Good Eats” character and somewhat like his persona on I Chef but so fast with his witt!
Cheers!
So a good show I take it?
Great!
Good stuff. I feel like I need to shower after watching Guy’s Big Bite. His show makes you feel oily just watching it!
I think Giada at Home’s director won the Emmy because she manages to subtly focus in on her breasts in every shot. :P
HAHAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY!! GUY IS DISTUSTING!!
Funny, silly, totally random!