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The Guy Fieri Cake
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There are cake wrecks… and then there’s this:
You’re looking at a Guy Fieri-themed creation made by a woman named Kristin Shapiro. She made this hot mess of a cake, submitted it in a competition at the Ventura County fair in California, and actually WON BEST OF SHOW in the baked foods category.
Honestly, we have more questions than answers for you all at this point:
1) How did this “cake” win… anything?
2) If this was the best baked item, what the heck did the worst one look like?
3) Why are Guy’s sunglasses on his face instead of in their usual position on the back of his fat neck?
4) Did Kristin Shapiro stay true to Fieri fashion and bind this “cake” together with hair gel and old fryer grease?
5) Is Guy Fieri supposed to look like he’s sitting on the toilet? Because he totally does.
Hey Kristin, you should toooootally see if Charm City Cakes is hiring. We hear they’re always looking for people who know how to mold fondant into little shapes.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Sandra Lee’s “Noel Cake”---Guy Fieri-ish Flair Hair Visor
---Sandra Lee’s “Other” Abomination: The Hanukkah Cake
---Guy Fieri On David Letterman, Again
---Buddy Valastro Finally Wins A Food Network Cake Challenge
- Guy Fieri
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40 Responses
“1) How did this “cake” win… anything?”
Hint: Susie and Tushie where the judges.
Other then that, yeah, _every_ other cake in the contest must have fallen to the ground on the way to the judges table.
Actually her figurines are way better than Charm City’s. Charm City’s look like kids make em.
On another note, over on TLC, Cake Boss starring Buddy Valastro, are making cakes that are worthy of the adulation paid to them. Their figurines and cake GI Joes have some lifelike qualities to them. Maybe Goldman can send someone over for a tutorial.
“How did this “cake” win… anything?” Kerry Vincent was sick and didn’t come to judge this show.
“If this was the best baked item, what the heck did the worst one look like?” There was no worst one, this was the only entry.
Its not even a correct representation of Guy. The man doesn’t read menu cards!!!
I kinda like it! Except for that d-bag Fieri on it, of course. Why did she have to pick him?
I used to decorate and teach cake decorating a bazillion years ago. I gotta tell ya, despite the fact that the theme is “FerryLand”, there is a ton of work in this ‘cake’. Lots of detail. I like it. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but, alas, ’tis true.
The phallic french fry is a riot.
The flip flops, even though pretend, totally gross me out.
And yes, we really need to see the competition this hunk of shit was up against.
@Silvio – I agree with you about Buddy. I used to think he was totally annoying in the cake challenges, but the fact is, his cakes are awesome. Did you see the cake he made with the live birds? And the leaning tower cake was awesome too. His people have way more talent than Ass of Cakes, they use more cake and less cereal treats. Plus they are actually WORKING instead of TALKING. When I see Duff’s show, all it looks like are kids sitting around mumbling and playing with edible play-doh.
I just checked their website. It could have been worse. One of the competions was “Table setting “”Purebred & Home Grown”". It could have been an Aunt(hic)(burp)Sandy contest for TABLESCAPES.
Oh, the humanity.
oops…should be ‘competitions’
Maybe I am qualified to be employed at FN as a spel chekker…
Okay,
Is that Spaghetti and meatballs in cupcake holders..? Look, I am so confused by the whole mess. And agreed! He is definitely sitting on a toilet reading a newspaper.
I live in Ventura County and was not able to get to the Fair this year, but I heard about this cake. Thanks for printing a picture of it. I’m glad I didn’t waste the gas and entry fee to see this cake. The local paper said the cake was getting mushy and soggy after sitting there all week…eeeeewwwww…or should I say ‘greasy’?
… the craftsmanship is actually quite good. I’m not sure what picture you guys are looking at, but it’s effing hard to sculpt fondant like that.
Also, wtf @ Syd. Phallic french fry? 1. You must be a SO-less woman, no offense 2. If that french fry is phallic, then all french fries are. What is the difference between that cake fry and a real one?
Dislike Fieri, Like cake. That being said, how do you cut that and eat it? O.O
@Jenn
To be honest with you from what I’ve seen, a lot of the things in Cake Boss seem so scripted to me.
I like it!
I’ve watched all the Cake Boss episodes and continue to be impressed. Buddy even pulls his weight. His staff are very talented.
Makes Ass of Cakes look like a total beginner shop which I guess is what they are. They even have a fondant sheeter which I think AofC could use because they are always handrolling this stuff.
Valastro’s decorators are REAL pros. Simple as that. And they turn out 40 times the volume Charm City does.
No offense taken, Amy. I’ve had the same SO for 19 years. She happens to have a vadge though, so your point is relevant.
Guy’s sitting on money? Uh … That’s Munee?
*big sigh*
Anyway, I think the cake is relatively creative. I wondering what the pink tinsel is on that cheeseburger? But other than that, the cake does tell a story, so I’ll give the decorator credit for that. And I’m sure it was a lot of work.
Oh, and the french fry is totally phallic. LMAO
If anyone at FN should have a cake made after them it should be Alton…he rocks!
Actually, I think it’s pretty cool. I’m not sure how it’s one cake – it looks like a lot of little cupcakes on the center stand – but it shows artistry and creativity, which is more than can be said for the REAL Guy Fietttti!
@Amy: “1. You must be a SO-less woman, no offense 2. If that french fry is phallic, then all french fries are. What is the difference between that cake fry and a real one?”
1. I think it’s actually corn on the cob, not a french fry.
2. It’s totally phallic. And I have an SO too – he even has a phallus that I’m somewhat familiar with. Doesn’t change the fact that the little corn/fry dude has a hat that’s making him look VERY like a Little Soldier, if you get my drift.
3. Don’t be bitter just because you’re not getting any.
You’re not even mentioning the hot dog on a bun at the top. Now THAT is phallic.
I know it’s wrong, but I couldn’t help that in church the other day, I spotted a guy wearing his shades on backwards and printed on my bulletin for my bf to see, with an arrow pointing to him….”Guy Fieri wannabe”
Is this “fad” actually catching on? Please tell me no.
PS – whoever made this cake needs to get a life….
I think the little pre-schoolers who helped decorate Sandra Lee’s wedding cake struck again!
This is indeed a hot mess. The symbolism of Guy taking a dump on it is extremely apt.
@Silvio, I couldn’t agree with you more! I loved the episode when they were popping out flowers, fast and so life like, and their people(both staff and cake figurines), look so much better than Duff’s.Carlos Bakery is a real place, retail and special order, much more pressure.
That ear of corn looks like a peen. No two ways around it.
This cake is hideous. It’s not even a cake. It’s a bunch of donuts and pastries put on a plastic tier.
No wonder it won. Look at the boring stuff on the racks in the background.
Again, wtf.
1. Guess I forgot that ANYTHING that’s straight and stick-shaped is technically a phallic symbol. Frued would have a field day with you all. I can only imagine what runs through your minds when you eat, god forbid, a real french fry… or a peice of corn. How crude of nature to create objects like that.
Oh god! Cake-Guy Fieri’s leg is stick like and long. It’s totally a phallic symbol!!
2. @ Megan: I’m married… thus the “peen” is quite familiar territory to me…. and don’t worry I’m still “getting” lots from hubby dear.
When I commented to Syd, I wasn’t trying to be rude. You, however, were. So I don’t feel bad saying i’m sorry that your SO has a package the size of a small fry (it’s a fry, not corn… I assume because it says FRIES in large letters right above it).
Now, I’m going to warn the boss that he shouldn’t eat fries anymore… because he’s basically consuming phalli.
And I meant Freud, not Frued. hah
Jeez.
This article seems unnecessarily harsh, decorating using fondant like that is so hard, doing something as delicate and detailed and that would be nearly impossible.
“1) How did this “cake” win… anything?
2) If this was the best baked item, what the heck did the worst one look like?”
… Yeah. Not so much funny as just mean. I bet this cake took hours.
I agree with Spencer.
Making fun of FN celebs for their pompous tweets, potty mouth humor, Aunt Sandy for being Aunt Sandy and some of their generally irritating behavior is one thing. But going after someone who is not a celeb who just happened to make a cake based on Guy is another thing altogether.
This cake obviously took time, effort and skill to make. As good as I can cook, I know I couldn’t be able to make something like that.
All of you new goodie goodie posters need to shut the f*ck up. God forbid anyone make fun of anyone! Please. Are you all 4th grade teachers? Get over yourselves.
I agree with Jaime O. Get off your high horse and stop lecturing people. No one made personal attacks against this woman. They said her cake was ugly, which in my opinion it is. And it’s not even a cake.
If it’s edible and sweet, it’s okay with me, though the thought of eating Guy Fieri makes me ill.
I thought county fair baking contests were for judging baked goods and judges actually tasted the product.Guess not.
I’ll bet that ‘cake” tastes like gum paste and sugar smegma.
I wouldn’t eat it. It’s really not for eating, although typically, a contest cake has to be a certain percentage edible, that is, made of edible materials. So if you figure that this cake has to be made of, say, 98 percent edible food products (the other parts being the cardboard the cake rests on and dowels to support the layers), the rest is either cake, icing or candy. That being said, there is alot of work and talent in this exhibit. It looks like the cupcake liners may be paper, but the content of the cups is cake/icing. I’ll bet that cake weighs 20 pounds or better. As I said earlier, it may be a crappy theme, Ferry, but the work that went into this cake is amazing.
Lets all make personal attacks at Jamie O since he (she?) sounds like a douche. Bad experience with a 4th grade teacher Jamie??
The cake isn’t bad. My Grandma owns a cake shop and this cake is damn good enough to be sold at one… and obviously good enough to win a prize.
Better yet, lets give Jamie and Dan some materials and see if they can make a f*cking better one. I dare ya.
That is a fantastic looking cake! Must have used some great equipment and creativity to make that.
Wow! I’m shocked at how mean people are. This person will probably be affraid to bake and decorate again. Let’s be nice people. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…thus being said I can think of a few famous artists who paint Junk I wouldn’t buy but I don’t spend precious time trying to say as many mean and nasty things about there art. Back to the cake at the fair…It’s hot people…things melt and it cant be helped..give credit to this person for trying. And it WON!!!
Whoever made this cake stole all of the designs from a little book called Hello, Cupcake! I see the spaghetti, hamburger, turkey leg and corn on the cob cupcakes were used. Not very creative, and absolutely should not have won.