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Guy Fieri Knuckle Sandwich Knives
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Well, it was bound to happen. Guy Fieri went and created the tackiest knives known to man.
The “Knuckle Sandwich” knives (what else would they be called) were developed in conjunction with Ergo Chef. They’re currently available for pre-order, and according to Guy, they rock “technically and aesthetically!” The Knuckle Sandwich 8″ Chef Knife w/ Criss-Cross Crusher (you have no idea how icky it was to type that) sells for $76, and the Knuckle Sandwich 5-1/2″ Utility Knife “Dragon Dagger” sells for $45.
And as for the design… hmm…
where have I seen that before?
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Guy Fieri Doesn’t Know Where To Sell His Knuckle Sandwich “Knifes”---Laugh Of The Day: Clueless Guy Fieri PR People Asking FNH To Promote His Products
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Guy Fieri Sweatbands
---Is Rachael Ray’s Santoku Rocker The Ugliest Knife Of All Time?
---Ridiculous Food Network “Recipe” Of The Week: Robin Miller’s Sandwich Cookies
- Guy Fieri
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72 Responses
Hmm… 8″ Knuckle Sandwich Chef knife for $76…. ORRRRRR an 8″ Global Chef Knife for $99…. hmmmm the mind boggles…..
and by boggles I mean, sits still in a jar with formaldehyde surrounding it, if one even _considers_ let alone _buys_ this piece of crap…
On the plus side, he managed to do the impossible though, make a set of knifes that look at tacky as he does… Good job Susie, what’s FN’s cut?
No! Can’t be true. Too tacky to be believed.
For those old enough to remember, Guy’s sense of, umm, style reminds me of Chess King, the 70′s men’s clothing mecca for all good greaseball disco kings.
“All knife pre-orders will ship by the end of November.”
Just in time for the holidays (rolling eyes).
Yeah that’s pretty damn ugly, and so are the knives.
Lord help us!
Oh my God. Those are fugly. And they had to be “inspired by” the New England Patriots logo! Blue, red, and white. A single star. Swoopy curves.
They’re ugly no matter which way you slice it!
(HAR HAR!)
Criss-Cross Crusher
What the hell does that mean? Maybe I’m not as SHARP as I thought I was……
Of course the NE logo is just a ripoff of the angular Panthers logo, which fortunately (to my knowledge) has yet to be smeared by association with any peroxided pro-abortion arguments…
Are you talking about the Carolina Panthers??
If so, how can the NE logo be a rip off of Carolina when it was created 2 years BEFORE the Panthers were even a team??
FAIL!!!! LOL
No trailer park kitchenette is complete without these craptastic knives.
@Byrdie: I think the “Criss-Cross Crusher” feature is the butt end of the knife handle, which looks textured like a meat tenderizer.
I have always though that anything would look better with flames…boy was I wrong.
@Melissa – OOOHHHHH! I see it now. Gee, sure wouldn’t be very sanitary to pound with. I mean, especially thinking of it being in Ferry’s sweaty palm….blick…..
I thought you were shittin’ us. Honestly, I googled it, just to be sure. Un-fucking-believable how ugly these are.
Plus, I HATE the curve of the handle on the Chef’s Knife. Looks like the angle would make using it uncomfortable.
“…the butt end of the knife handle, which looks textured like a meat tenderizer.”
I hope Fieri’s fans who might purchase this anomaly of a knife can figure out that they shouldn’t hold the blade while they’re using the butt end :)) Ouch!
Order now, and receive a free 3″ Boner! Available only from the Guy Fieri knife collection.
Actually, they look more like the Houston Texans’ logo:
http://www.firstandtensportsden.com/store/images/product_images/VINYLMAGNET-TEXANS.jpg
Oy.
The greed of both Fee-eddy and Food Network make me sick.
No wonder they are available on a “preorder” basis. Any smart importer of kitchen stuff will not commit to even the smallest order of knives especially when you have a world class douche bags name on them.
Nice try dressing him up in a chefs coat. What a fucking loser.
What the hell is wrong with you people? This guy is running a business. If you havn’t tried the product and dont appreciate capitolism then what qualifies any of you to make these remarks. This is a reasonably priced kitchen utensil were talking about not a piece of supposed million dollar art……………..
@Sarah: I agree that dressing this clown up in a chef’s jacket is akin to trying to polish the proverbial turd …….
John, I updated the image to show the Houston Texans logo as well. Good call.
Designer knives. Hmm.. Great Chef’s with great choices.
Ooh, the knives have racing stripes. That means they’re FAST.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I could picture my 3 year old saying that.
Who is actually going to pay for those knives? Bet they are going to be 80% off at Khols in a month.
They look like something you’d get free as a thank you for signing up for a subscription to Sports Illustrated.
@Naseem you took the words right out of my mouth. These are uglier than a Sandra Lee tablescape…
Now let’s not all jump to conclusions. On the website for these fine knives Guy tell us that he’s a hot rod guy, so he knows the importance of quality equipment. Who can you trust more than a hot rod guy for quality knives? A chef? Don’t make me laugh! Does anyone know where I can pick up an Orange County Choppers cookware set?
“As a chef, restaurant owner, and TV personality, I have high expectations for my equipment”
Yeah…OK, that was exactly what I was thinksing.
Excuse me while I go and paint my “The End is Nigh” sign
@ Cannon: Actually, the NE logo was done in 1993…the Panthers weren’t in existence until 1995…so I guess they ripped off NE. But back to the topic…these knives are ugly as fuck!! LOL
They so look like a gift that an Alumni from Texas U would get for donating $500 to the Football program.
@Naseem,
These gems won’t even come near a Kohl’s. You have to PREORDER them, meaning any housewares buyer with an IQ over 30 knows they will probably need to be deeply discounted in order to move em.Poor sell through generally means “I’ll pass” .
I guess this idiot thinks he can sell knives. Count Guy Fee-Yeddi, Branding guru!! Go away you turdface.
Knuckle knives for a knuckle head
Immediately thought two things on seeing the Fieri knives; 1.) Texans logo, 2.) could buy better knives from that redneck with the Knife Show on DirecTV’s Channel 227, plus I can get 100 knives for $100.
By the way, terrible use of fonts in the first image.
It’s official now.
The dark side is winning.
Tacky appearance aside, are those knives even practical? The top on has what looks like cullions on the blade, which works fine on a slicer, but how would they work on a general purpose chef’s knife? Would they interfere with chopping? And how do you hold it with that curved handle?
As for the second one, I’ve seen Alton Brown use tools with offset handles to avoid scraping his knuckles, but what is this thing supposed to be used for? It looks serrated, so slicing maybe?
I got it! Those indentations are supposed to call to mind a car manifold, or whatever that thing on hotrods that’s supposed to make them go (or at least look) fast. Since I know about as much about cars as Sandra Lee does about cooking I have no idea what the proper name is.
“…the butt end of the knife handle, which looks textured like a meat tenderizer.”
Only FoodNetwork would create a meat tenderizer with a big pointy end meant to face up. “Tenderizing” does not mean careass gently in small circles. One wrong slip as you bash along and you’re missing half an eyelid!!
Tacky and they look uncomfortable to use. I used to love Food Network, but the greed on that channel is disgusting now.
Just when you thought the FN and their marketing could not get more ridiculous…
Woozy Susie, Director of Marketing, has much to answer for with this travesty of all that is decent. And those prices!!!!!! Anyone who buys from TFN store is foolish. I got the 8″ chef’s knife recommended by America’s Test Kitchen, which cost $25, and it is a great knife.
But did it have flames?
Hmm?
Did it?
;)
No, but I can find some little kid and snaggle a couple of stickers from them it jazz it up – maybe even a unicorn!It will probably last longer that those flames, anyway.
Hmmm, I’ll stick to Calphalon
Should people to follow this spiky-haired turd be allowed to to handle sharp objects let alone own knives.
If I want the ultimate in cutlery tackiness, at least now I know where to go.
This would be a great gift idea for somebody I don’t like.
All we need is one lawsuit from someone who stabbed themself in the eye while tenderizing some meat, and Ferry’s credibility (assuming he has any left) will drop like a spiky, bleached blonde haired d-bag receiving a knuckle sandwich to the face.
They are fantasy knives, like the swords,dirks and daggers you see in the dark corner of the gun show. They serve no real purpose, only to fuel the imagination of “Dungeons and Dragons” geeks whose computers are broken or repo’d.
My guess is that this post just gave Ergo Knives’ website some 25,000 hits, and they probably sold 5,000 knives in the last 12 hours.
Minor argumentative points: the knives are black and red, not blue and red. And the criss cross on end is for smashing garlic or nuts, not for tenderizing meat. The knives are NOT for sale through the Food Network, just through Ergo Knives.
Snark away, folks. Really. Please carry on! I’m no fan of Fieri’s. But in terms of Rock n Roll design work, the handles and flames are spot on. My guess is these knives will fly off the shelves. I visited with Ergo at a food show in CA. The knives are very good quality and the handles surprisingly comfortable with that odd angle.
His look may have worked back when people took surreptitious slugs from a brown paper bag behind the 7-Eleven, but these days most people have abandoned the aging pin monkey, rocka-hill-billy greaser. He probably figures his kid’s friends think he’s ‘aces’…
This guy makes the FNH’s job too easy! You didn’t even have to create your own humor. I guess it would be hard to make something like that up.
JMSIV, LOL!!
Oh yeah, that’s money right there, dude.
Nice. Shitty knives designed after shitty teams.
Who-Da-Thunk it? A kid from Cali., went to UNLV,self proclaimed Guido, has a show or twelve from NYC on FN, would be RepReZentin’ Puerto Rico with a set of cutlery made in China. HUMMmmmmm?
Please Say Cheese With Me???????
You couldn’t have said it better”cheese”. His knives are crap, I’ve tried them and they are cheap and poorly made. The sad thing is that I actually like his show, diners, drive-ins and dives. The concept is a good one because it shows independently owned restaurants. Why that fake shithead is the host I don’t know. Especially since he was spokesman for t.g.I. Friday’s, where Guy should be working. I would love to beat his ass.
Sweet merciful crap, I never knew a knife could be tacky.
Just a note: Guy Fieri has decided to sponsor a car in NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series to advertise his “knuckle sandwich” knives. The car DNQ’d this weekend. Chortle.
[...] At 50 minutes into last night’s premiere of Chopped Champions, the competition came down to James vs Natalie. Who would it be! Who would move on! Who would be chopped! The suspense was so thick, you could cut it with one of Guy Fieri’s tacky knives. [...]
One word…Shun.
Hey Dawn do your research…Shun design 1999 and Ergo Chef start 1995 and Shun is Ken Onion that has a different style blade that only rocks and Ergo Chef has more versatility
I have used Ergo Chefs blades for over 4 years. They are as good or better than henckels, calphalon, etc. I’ve even used Guy’s personal version of these. The handle is extremely comfortable and ergonomic if you know have to fuckin hold a knife correctly. My other Ergo Chef knives have held up amazing these past years and you could swear they look brand new despite everyday restaurant use. I expect the same durability and craftsmanship from this one. Besides, there are people that appreciate such things as new designs and laser etched flames, matter fact I know quite a few. So I say to all you closed minded, stuck up saggy traditional wannabe fn stars, FUCK YOU!!
I’m reading these commemts and they seem to me to be nothing different than what you read on youtube. I have always believed that the language you use tells people about your background and education.
Seriously people if you want to have you opinion read and taken seriously it would help if what you had to say seemed to come from an adult and not some teenage angst filled punk.
By the way I love Guys show and have found some of the greatest food I have ever had by going to the places he showcases and the knife design looks pretty cool to me. I’m sure that someone will call me a retard or something like that since my opinion is different but that really shows the world what kind of person you are.
Personally I like the knifes…. I have been in the catering trade for over 13 years and have always wanted a set of knifes that look cool.. call them tacky of you will but they are way better than the boring ones I have to use every day..
Why don’t you people stop being a bunch of haters of others that are doing well. If you were such great cooks, you’d have your own show on the Food Network. If you don’t like the knives, don’t buy them. Keep your nasty comments to yourselves, ya big whiny babies. Get your food snob noses out of the air.
Monica,
1. “If you were such great cooks, you’d have your own show on the Food Network.” – Don’t be ridiculous! Take a moment and think about the gazillion amazing cooks in the world who do NOT have shows on the Food Network. Daniel Boulud? Eric Ripert? etc.
2. “Keep your nasty comments to yourselves” – Er, we are! This is our site, not yours. We keep our nasty comments right here, to ourselves. If YOU don’t like it, get YOUR snob nose out of the air.
Monica… Like Monica Lewinsky. Except, if you were anywhere near a dick, you wouldn’t be such an irritable bitch. “Keep your nasty comments to yourselves, ya big whiny babies.” Well, that’s TEXTBOOK projection. The whole point of this site is to make fun of the “talent” on Food Network. I use “talent” in quotes because Food Network promotes mediocrity. Many of our members are highly skilled cooks/chefs, and are MUCH better than anything that network has seen in years. “…you’d have your own show on the Food Network.” Fame equals success to you? You, dear, are a LOSER!
Monica, have you SEEN FN? Of all the shows, maybe two or three are worth watching for real, genuine cooking. The others are over-hyped personalities. The sole purpose for these knuckleheads, including Doucheboy, is to insure sales of their self-endorsed, overpriced cooking gear. It’s not about food with these pinheads, but producing a profit.
If in your mind ‘doing well’ includes money earned by hoodwinking the dimwitted public out of their hard earned dollars, then you have a poor sense of value. So perhaps you should go to the FN site and post your comments there. They like people like you. Make sure to take your credit card with you. You’re gonna need it.
The person that wrote this article obviously has a jealousy problem with Guy. Someone express themselves in a different way and you cannot handle it, if you don’t like him don’t watch him. My husband, my children and myself think Guy is awesome. We love the way he cooks and dresses and we love watching his shows.
[...] thing almost (almost!) makes Guy Fieri’s knives look [...]
I want some! Seriously. It’s like awesome.