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Ridiculous eBay Auction Alert: Johnny Garlic’s Menu
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Sadly, this is not a joke.
Someone on eBay is selling a mini-menu from Guy Fieri’s California restaurant, Johnny Garlic’s, for TEN DOLLARS (plus two dollars for shipping!)
SAY WHAT?
PT Barnum said “there’s a sucker born every minute.” Agreed, though you’d have to be a special kind of sucker to shell out $12 for a usually free menu from a Macaroni Grill knockoff run by a hyperactive Guido with a fake last name.
The funniest part? The seller mentions the restaurant is in Santa Rosa, “which is where Guy lives with his family!” And if that’s still not enough incentive for you to buy, chew on this:
The menu has a glossy finish.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Ridiculous eBay Auction Alert: $4,000 Paula Deen Painting---Guy Fieri’s Restaurant Reviews On Yelp
---Sandra Lee Tablescape Auction Update
---Sandra Lee’s Tablescapes Are Up For Auction
---Inner Monologue Of A Piece Of Garlic On Giada’s Counter
- Guy Fieri
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27 Responses
But, but, look! It’s signed by Guy! See? Right there at the bottom in red!
(don’t worry folks, I know it’s printed on there)
heehee
I have a small dish, stamped with the Food Network logo on the back, with Guy’s signature. Wonder how much that’d be worth? 10? 15?
Any takers?
lol
TEN DOLLARS? Who the hell would buy this for ten cents?
If I knew your address I would *so* buy this and send it to you. Tell me you wouldn’t laugh your ass off
The menu price is ridiculous but so is the $2 shipping! Won’t that fit in an envelope? Aren’t stamps like $.45 cents now?
Glossy finish?!
SOLD!!
(:jk:)
hopefully seller answers my ?
are there opportunities for multiple menus?
Don’t worry. Anybody stupid enough to buy it would lack the mental capacity to get onto the internet to begin with!
This seller is one wacked man.
Listen, if Guy is so hard up for cash that he’s selling these, maybe we should take up a collection plate for him or something… :P
I’d rather spend my 10 bucks to buy ingredients to cook Melissa’s recipes on her $10 meal show! (Just kidding)
Is it humorous! I don’t think so. Well I guess no one would be interested in doing so.
It’s probably a stolen menu if it’s got the glossy finish. Someone call the police!
If it is stolen, then maybe there’s a bonus crumb or two hidden in the folds. I want.
It’s covered in grease. Not cooking grease either. Guy Ferry grease. For good measure; it is also shipped with a pair of $2.00 Walmart sunglasses to complete your Guido Ferry Halloween costume.
Check out Guy’s website for Johnny Garlic’s Pasta Grill – ugly design and the opportunity to follow Guy’s Rock N’ Roll Lifestyle -for FREE! Wonder what that’s like…
7:00am – Wake up, then back to the rack for five hours. Anyone living the Rock N’ Roll lifestyle never gets up in the AM!
11:55am – Nope, still morning.
12:10pm – Wake up, bleach hair!
12:30pm – Try to get wife to do the nasty – turned down, call one of my buds to rap about them gettin’ down with the ladies!
12:40 – Call my son Hunter “bro-seph”, eat some slammin’ eggs, have a brewski and a shot of Cabo Wabo! My day is on like Donkey Kong!
1:00pm – Nice, flamey bowling shirt is clean, money!
2:00pm – Hit the ‘puter, check some emails and sales of my Knuckle Sandwich line, decide to jack up S&H with sales not happening with my new knife line.
2:25pm – Text the wife, see if she’s warming up to some bangin’, nope, porn on I-phone. Damn, Barely Legal account has been suspended!
2:50pm – Lawyer calls, ceast and desist from Houston Texans for knife line design.
3:15pm – Call Food Network for schedule, they’re pretty chill to my idea for a new game show idea, Fieri’s Family Feud. Not sure what intellectual property is, make sure to ask lawyer about it tomorrow.
3:20pm – See DDD flight schedule for Shreveport, Fargo and Spartanburg – Dawg, those towns suck! Note to self – call producer tomorrow, ream.
3:35pm – Check in with best bud T-Bone, get voice mail. Man, that dude never answers his phone any more!
4:10pm – Gas up the Corvette, go to T-Bone’s house.
4:30pm – T-Bone not home, house empty. Did T-Bone move without telling me?
5:00pm – Hit TGI Friday’s, no one asks for autograph. Hang around bar a little longer, try to get free drink, still no one asking for my autograph – what’s up with that?
5:30 – Over to Johnny Garlic’s, grab stack of menus, put them on Ebay on tomorrow. Cha-ching!
6:15pm – Text wife again, still blockin’!
7:00pm – Leave TGI Friday’s, ain’t happening!
7:45pm – Home, freshen up with some more bleach, splash of Drakkar Noir, fresh wristband, party time!
8:30pm – No one’s returning texts – where da party at?!
9:10pm – Give it one more shot with the wife, period again? That is not off the hook!
9:45pm – No bro’s returning texts, might as well catch some zzz’s, try to figure out why I keep waking up at 7am.
Brilliant. Just flat out brilliant.
Doesn’t that picture of Guy in all his greasy glory (look how glossy his face is)on the cover put the diners off their food? I wonder how many people come in, pick up the menu and suddenly say, “You know what? I’m not hungry all of the sudden.”
@DerekLutz – LOL funny. Just be careful he doesn’t see you following him….
Why did he change his name from Ferry to Fieri? Is it Itallian for Ferry? His dad still uses Ferry. What the Joe??????????
@Joy – I can think of two scenarios: one, his dad said “Hey, geekboy, either act like a man or change your name so nobody knows you’re my son” or two, he thinks Fieri is close to Ferrari….
@DerekLutz – Damn, that has to be one of the funniest posts I’ve read on here yet. Thanks for the time and effort.
Maybe it’s his son who’s peddling the menu – you know, following in his dad’s entrepreneurial footsteps ;) (this menu is MONEY!)
@APP
Yeah, I’d rather pay 10 bucks for a meal than for a menu.
It was bad enough having to serve him when he came into the restaurant where I work for an episode of “Diners . .. .” What a sleazeball!!
Why would you have to serve him, Jeannie? He goes into the back of the house and stuffs about five entrees into his greasy face, doesn’t he? You mean he ate yet another meal in the dining room? Yikes.
Oh, Jeannie, you poor soul…THAT’S a story I wouldn’t mind hearing! (And then take up a collection to pay for your therapy bills.)
the seller (wackman) also has sandra lee’s flask up for bid.
Dear danny_ill,
If you tell me how many, I can look into it. I may be able to get more.
- wackman
The glossy finish is so it’s easier to wipe the puke off after you’ve eaten the food.
Jeannie, I feel your pain.I too had to serve that ass- wipe for an episode of TRIPLE DOUCHE. The guy is a pig.He walked around the dining room begging people to take his autograph. The Douchebag actally started signing tablecloths (please note:they were not meant to be written on).The Diners all ignored him-he was so agitated that NO ONE gave a shit. And let’s rewind. He took a greasy dump when he arrived. We laughed at him all day-he honestly thinks he is a celebrity.what a DOUCHE! Sorry for the crazy typing-on the crackberry.