Guy Fieri, Lists »

The Top 10 Stupidest Guy Fieri Quotes
Posted by Jillian Madison

10. I’m driving the bus to Flavor Town.
(Our response: BYE!!!!!)

9. I could put this on a flip-flop and it would taste good.
(QUOTE FAIL. If he made it, it probably doesn’t taste good on a plate, let alone on a flip-flop.)

8. This is bananas, and bananas is good.
(What, now he’s Gwen Stefani? As if. She had a baby and still has better abs!)

7. Do you have a garden hose? Something I can clean up with?
(…otherwise known as “weekly shower time” at the Fieri household.)

6. Holy-moly, Stromboli!
(Oh, I see what he’s doing there! It’s a RHYME! How clever, Trevor. WHATEVER!)

5. That’s a hot frisbee of fun.
(One can only hope he wasn’t referring to his penis.)

4. Holy clam, Batman!
(More like, “Holy unoriginal quote, Batman!”)

3. Dude, I’ve been stricken by chicken!
(That’s perfectly normal. Chickens are frightened by douchebags with mirrored sunglasses on the back of their heads, and often violently lash our against them as a result.)

2. I wanna be the ambassador to Chimichanga Flavor Town.
(We all want things we can’t have. For example, I want a Vespa scooter, and for Guy Fieri to move to Guam.)

And the most annoying Guy Fieri quote of all time:

1. The sauce is money!
(Otherwise known as the most tired, dated quote of all time. That bread is money! That sandwich is money! That lasagna is money! That cookie is money! Hang on a sec, the phone’s ringing. . . Guy, it’s for you. It’s Vince Vaughn. He wants his schtick from the 1996 movie Swingers back.)

guy fieri swingers money

(There are many more than 10 stupid Fieri quotes, believe us. Check out Guy’s WikiQuote for more.)



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---VIDEO: Guy Fieri Thanksgiving Spoof On SNL
---Why People Hate Guy Fieri
---Naughty Food Network Quotes
---25 Funny Food Quotes
---Top 10 Dumbest Guy Fieri Recipe Names

    62 Responses

  1. Sarah says:

    Food Network should be ashamed of promoting this clown. People around the world think Americans are all like this.

    Presents a very bad image.

    • Joe6Pac says:

      All you basement dwelling Bourdain boner boys are just jealous. Guy is having a great time in life and that just drives you losers crazy. Go back to your bongs, take out your aggressions as usual on your enabling mothers and just STFU!

      • DC Guy says:

        Not jealousy, it’s plain and simple, Guy is a Annoying Douche. I like the dishes he reviews, but him he needs to take a trip to flavortown and grab a winner winner douche bag dinner..I’m surprised the winner winner _____dinner didn’t make the top ten stupid quotes.

        I guess some people don’t have good judgement or are bamboozled into thinking Guy is the greates thing to come to Food TV and Santa Rosa,

    • Hellen says:

      I can’t stand the guy. He is stupid, fat and annoying. I can’t bare to watch him.

    • Neet says:

      He and his lover/hairdresser got into a catty spat and it was sad to see. I hope these two divas makeup.

  2. Skyman747 says:

    Now was that a Money Road-Trip or what?

  3. Jun says:

    “Off da hook” didn’t make the list???

  4. DesignerJeans says:

    He… really said these…… Sigh….

    Gonna have to paraphrase the Simpsons here:

    The name’s Guy Ferry, And he rocks the telly, He’s half Joe Camel, And a third Fonzarelli. He’s the kung fu hippie, From gangsta city, He’s a rappin’ surfer, He’s the fool we all pity.

    That Guy is one outrageous dude.

    He’s totally in our face.

  5. Syd says:

    I thought the sauce was the money *shot*.

  6. April March says:

    When I first started following this site and laughed at the headline I assumed that that might be the funniest part of the post and I was always wrong. Now when I laugh at the headline I can’t wait to read the post. You haven’t disappointed me yet!

    Are you super excited about the upcoming Guy Ferry Chefography I’ve seen FN advertising, Jillian? Be sure to watch it and post on it because I don’t think I can sit through an hour of personal crap about the Guy!

  7. chitchat says:

    Re: #2…Can’t help you get Fieri to Guam but my son is selling an amazing Vespa scooter! Love this site!

  8. Sarah says:

    The fact Food Network use the word Chef and Guy Ferry in the same sentence boggles my mind. Same for the Neelys.

    Talk about empty programming. I wonder if they will expose to the world the fact they are rather unimportant to the culinary scene.

  9. Silvio says:

    YOu forgot to include any phrase incorporating the words “bad boy”. I know it is hard to do becuase so many FN personalities are in copycat mode and can’t think of anything original themselves. I hope this douchebag takes his collection of cliches to Guam and stays there. Take McCArgo with him , but Little Aaron is probably afraid of snakes.

  10. Byrdie says:

    What has Guam done to us to have to inflict this loudmouth on them? I say let’s send him to North Korea.

  11. julnyes says:

    I came in here to say only this – hysterical, but why punish a beautiful place like Guam??

  12. Jun says:

    I think Guy drove the bus to Flavor Town off the cliff.

  13. Lynxie says:

    Seriously? He says that stuff? I am glad I never saw the show now.

  14. Jill says:

    I can’t stand when he says “Winner, winner ______ dinner”

    It makes me want to punch my TV.

    • DC Guy says:

      I feel the same way…I thought it was just me who was irritated by him, I almost felt like there was something wrong with me since many people love that Guy , I want to punch my tv when he says flavor town. Well actually whenever he say any of his stupid quips, quotes, made up words to rhyme with a dish name. or when he starts playing around in a kitchen he’s reviewing.

  15. orchidgal says:

    I would like to see the bus to Flavor Town run over Guy. Now that would be Money!

  16. Byrdie says:

    Or beat him profusely with a flip flop.

  17. Megan says:

    It’s not really a stupid quote, per se, but he really bothers me when he says “basalmic” vinegar. It’s balsamic. How is that hard, Guy?

  18. Jun says:

    Here’s my rant about Guy Fieri. This is mostly the stuff that has been annoying me for weeks:

    ________________________________________________

    You might be a redneck if…

    You spell all words with a hard “C” sound with a “K”, and not just to cover up lack of spelling ability.

    You wear a sweatband on your arm as a tribute to your incredibly sweaty son, nicknamed “Drippy.” You also never wash the sweatband, because sweat stains are lucky.

    You named your first two kids Hunter and Ryder, and if you have a third you plan to use either Cooter or Raylene.

    You have a NASCAR themed kitchen. Period.

    You have a friend who travels around with you who calls himself Kleetus– on purpose!

    When you cook in the kitchen, you use only one pan, constantly wiping it out and reusing it, because that’s how Mama taught you years ago back in the trailer park.

    You wear more bling than you have teeth.

    At least one of your tattoos has red white and blue in it.

    You bleach your hair, wear flashy bowling shirts, and gaudy sunglasses so people don’t mistake you for Larry the Cable Guy.

  19. Beestinova says:

    Jill, I’m with you on the “winner winner ________ dinner” one.

    Also, how about “Love, peace and ________ grease.” ANNOYING!

  20. potty mouth princess says:

    What has Guam done to deserve him? My vote is for Chernobyl. After all, he glows like he’s radioactive. So money it’s not funny.

  21. assistboy says:

    Bananas is good?? I believe it should be, bananas are good.

    Asshats are dumb!

    Let me get out of this “bad boy”.

  22. Beestinova says:

    ooh, I have another one… on Guy’s Big Bite, he always says “hit it with a little ________.” I have noticed he certainly has a lot of template-like cliche catch phrases…

    he is probably my least favorite (or most hated) FN personality. the “basalmic” and “marscapone” mispronunciations make me want to gouge my ears out. And why do none of his people correct him??? (Actually, I have a theory that one unfortunate but well-meaning Ferry staffer once tried to correct him and lost his/her job because of it…)

  23. Lana says:

    Ha! Well, I actually kinda liked the “Love, Peace & Taco Grease” quote. Made me giggle, and I love that restaurant in Salt Lake where he said it. But like most (all?) catch phrases, the Fieri-isms get old when they’re over used.

    I mean, I can handle a “bad boy” here and there, a “hit it with some _______” now and then … even a “that sauce is money,” once, maybe twice.

    “On point” and “everybody in the pool” have gotten pretty stale too, eh?

  24. Gregg says:

    After he drives the bus to Flavor Town, I’d like to hijack the vehicle, drive over his trailer park ass, back up, then do it again for good measure. Use your garden hose then to clean up, d-bag.

  25. tish the dish says:

    Seriously, the “love, peace and taco grease” is much worse than all of these combined!! Makes me want to throw inanimate objects against walls!!!!

  26. Mike says:

    Sending this douchebag to any other country on a one-way ticket may be considered an act of war!

  27. RachNRen says:

    “You have a NASCAR themed kitchen. Period.”…….
    God bless you!!!!

    The whole “winner winner chicken dinner” line works flawlessly when I want my girlfriend angry at me!!! Thanks Guy Ferry!!! <— Real name, thanks….

  28. Mark says:

    Ugh, I’m watching FN now because I’m stoned out on pain drugs after my surgery (right tonsil was cancerous…i’m friggin 16!) and Fee-eddy said “That’s like licking the volcano in flavortown”…grrr.

  29. Jun says:

    Sorry on both counts, Mark.

  30. FRS says:

    My husband and I figured a large part of what bugs the snot out of us about Guy : he’s stuck in 1996. He’s so dated it’s sad and pathetic. The bleached hair, the shirts, the stupid sunglasses on the back of the head, the sweat band on the arm, the cheesy phrases. Kind of like how some of us whose moms are in their 50s now are still wearing their shoulder padded outfits from the 80s and all the kids keep telling her to get new outfits and she insists that she looks great. Um yeah…

  31. FRS says:

    Doh, I missed quote number one. So basically I repeated quote number one. I need more sleep. lol

  32. Nat says:

    Ahhh, “Sandra Lee’s got an opening and I’ve got a stiff proposition”. I deem it list-worthy.

  33. Davis says:

    I guess i’m in the minority here in that I love “Triple D”. I’m not as fussy on his cooking show but I dont hate the guy as much as you all seem to! But yeah the “Basalmic” vinegar thing is kinda odd….

  34. Leah says:

    Davis, I’m with you…kind of. I despise this man, he is a disgrace to real chefs everywhere, even us “at-home” chefs. I love DDD, but every time he talks, I just mute the TV. I’m just a fatty at heart who loves the diner food they make, but if I could remove him from the show entirely and just have the diners, I would do so in a minute.

  35. Julie says:

    Leave this guy alone! I happen to think humor is a good thing. It is what makes us unique individuals.

  36. yvonne from guam says:

    guy fieri is awesome , im from guam and snakes do not just hang all over the trees, everyone has their own unique styles, sayings and techniques if nobody likes his humor then stop watching his show maybe you all won’t have to complain and whine so much….

  37. Gypsie Rose says:

    9. I could put this on a flip-flop and it would taste good. – Rip off of Emeril (how ever ya spell his stupid name) much? OMFG I do wish he would move to Guam. The dip shit is so annoying. Double that when he thinks everything is MONEY. FFS!

  38. jb says:

    Jealous much?

  39. Andie says:

    Quit with the sending Guy Fieri to Guam. We don’t want him here.

    Choose a place that doesn’t have digital cable. I agree with the North Korea comment. :)

  40. Robbie says:

    On DDD after he samples a dish, I hate the way he says “Good job” or fist pounds the owner/chef or does both. To me, I feel he is so unappreciative. Moreover, I hate the prase “killer.”

  41. dr says:

    Hey – if you don’t like the show, shut the f up and go watch Okrah!!

  42. [...] It looks like Food Network Canada is betting that comfort food, the culinary trend that refuses to die, has yet more staying power left. Tomorrow the network will launch You Gotta Eat Here!, a new show that will see host John Catucci heading to diners and greasy spoons across Canada to sample the food, talk to the owners and learn some tricks in the kitchen. The premise sounds like a Canadian take on the tremendously popular Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (we’re hoping, though, that Catucci will steer way clear of some of Guy Fieri’s frat-boy phraseology). [...]

  43. Chach says:

    “Slamma-Jamma Love that Lamb-A” – really should be on this list…

  44. Susan says:

    I love Guy and his shows!!! I think his food looks delicious!! I think HIS style is HIS and represents Guy! He is SO FUNNY! Makes me laugh all the time with his “phrases”.

    Sincerely,
    Always a fan from Mich.

  45. [...] the brains and the recipes of the cooks, samples the delicious grub, and invariably spits out some stupidly-phrased nugget of praise for its excellent flavour explosion before moving onto the next joint. As I wrote some time ago [...]

  46. Tommo says:

    Im from UK and sometimes watch in amazement at the awful presenters the Food Network Channel puts on their channel. I dont think Guy is one of the worst, hes at least got a personality, Rahm Fama on the other hand is a fucking moron.

  47. Ashley says:

    “That porkchop is a man hole cover in flavor town!” – that is by far my favorite quote!
    Another good one though is “You just popped the tires on the bus to flavor town!”

  48. Flavor Town says:

    Like Emeril and Paula Deen, Fieri is just another culture vulture.

    His sayings come from those that originated in black America, yet he and others pass them off as their own. That “bam” schtick from Emeril was created by Martin Lawrence and was advanced by Jamie Foxx. The phrase “money” comes from hip hop slang for “G Money” “Yo, that’s Money” its modern equivalent is “bling”, “y’all”, well there’s no doubt where that came from. I could go on and on, but you get the point, which I will: “love, peace and chicken grease” came from Soul Train. I leave it there.

    They are culture bandits, fakes and frauds. All of them.

    Find some style and originality, you bunch of wannabes.

  49. Flavor Town says:

    Oh yeah, and let’s not forget: “That’s off the hook” which originated somewhere in Compton, Cali, and is now said as “That’s off the heezy/hizzle for shizzle” as Snoop puts it.

    Guy, you suck.

  50. D says:

    Calm down, i find the dude entertaining. He is over-the-top, but its funny. You all need to take a step back and look at what you are getting worked up over.

  51. Mick says:

    I love that Foodnetwork will make fun of itself. To the angry folks, lighten up man.

  52. Tracie says:

    “Shut the front door!” is my favorite

Post your comments


FNH DISCLOSURE and PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2014 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved