NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.
What’s Ina Garten Thinking
---Ina & Jeffrey Garten: In Love For 40 Years
---Top 10 Reasons Ina Garten Is Disgusted
---Ina Garten: Barefoot In London
---A Message From Ina Garten
Ina Garten »
What’s Ina Garten Thinking
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WHAT’S INA GARTEN THINKING?
5. This kitchen puts a whole new spin on “how bad could that be?”
4. My ass hardly fits between the stove and the island. Who built this kitchen? Twiggy?
3. Look at the flimsy lock on that door! However do they keep the gardener out?
2. I haven’t seen this much Formica since the kitchenette in Jeffrey’s college dorm.
1. White appliances? Are we in East Hampton or East Harlem?
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Ina Garten, Is This Your Bank Receipt?---Ina & Jeffrey Garten: In Love For 40 Years
---Top 10 Reasons Ina Garten Is Disgusted
---Ina Garten: Barefoot In London
---A Message From Ina Garten
- Ina Garten
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60 Responses
Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?
My gay friends will be upset now with my kitchen set-up and will never come over to my dinner parties. Maybe I should cut back on those anyway and loose this fat ass.
“…and then you can drink the rest of the wine to help you forget how truly crappy this kitchen is.”
I guess the prison kitchen could be worse….
My pan is as big as their stove!
“I hope they have fresh vanilla, fresh chives, fresh tomatoes and kosher salt. I mean how hard is that?”
“If Jeffrey asks for a roast chicken, I swear I’ll hit him upside the head with this bottle!!!”
(BTW – why is INA cooking in a garage?)
The moon. My butt. Which is bigger? Tune in next week for the big reveal!
I’ll need to drink more wine they are coming over to film TNFNS.
“I wonder if Sandra could be persuaded to work her decorating magic in here?”
This bottle should be headed straight for my mouth.
Why did my cuopmter randomly turned off on me? Click for more details.?It is a cuopmter (not a laptop).This is the second time its happened.It is not even a year old and works fine.When it turned off, it wasn’t the power.The screen was still working when it turned off.I turned the cuopmter on a few seconds after it turned off randomly, and it’s working fine again.SYS. Temperature: 27 degrees CelsiusCPU temp.: 107 degrees CelsiusI have the latest Norton Anti-virus installed.I haven’t had any other problems like pop-ups or freezes or anything.I do have a lot of games and programs installed, but I still have a lot of memory.The cuopmter is used alot, at least half the day, but afterwards gets turned off for the whole night.Could it be the heat? a hacker? Other suggestions please?PS I was watching Lost both times it turned off. Could this be a Dharma conspiracy?Wait now that I looked it up, max CPU temperatures aren’t supposed to run that high, are they?After about 20 minutes of being turned on right after it shut off randomly, the CPU temp is 54 C, and SYS temp 26.Did I read the temperature wrong before? Is it possible it was 107 degrees C? Could that be the reason it shut off?lol the Dharma conspiracy was more of an inside joke to the people who watch the show Lost. Disregard it if you don’t watch the show.hmmm my room does get dusty alot for some reason I’m going to go take a look at the inside and clean the fans out. Thanks for the suggestions.
What episode is the screen shot from? Is this photoshopped? She can’t fit her tuckus through there.
Must be Frank and Stephen’s Federal Funeral Home, they’re the only ones who are skinny enough to fit in that gap without having to suck in their bellies.
THIS is how bad it can be.
“Even TR’s kitchen is better equipped than this crap! Ummmm, come to think of it, TR is pretty well equipped himself!”
“Oh my gay friends sew a fabric cover for my washer machine and it fits me as well as it does on the washing machine”…
Ina puts more unattractive gay men on TV than LOGO.
Surely my eyes must be deceiving me, but whatever is in the glass bowl on the counter looks like canned fruit cocktail. Please tell me it ain’t so!
@CherryRose No – it’s “Greek” Panzanella (a salad of tomatoes and croutons that Ina routinely dances out with the volume once again turned up).
I am getting a bit tired of the “volume turned up” schtick. On the episode with that title, she added some chopped tarragon to her chicken salad and that was what she considered turning the volume up. Like no one in the world ever considered adding an herb to chicken salad. Honestly. I’m a fan of Ina’s, and make quite a few of her recipes, but the self back-patting for really basic stuff is starting to get to me.
Okay, I haven’t watched BigFat Contessa (as my husband calls her) in a long time. Is this her new set??
No, the kitchen belongs to one of her friends.
Not.
Re: “Volume Turned Up”. In one of her cookbooks, Ina specifically mentions that Chicken Salad Veronique was a very popular item at BC. The recipe clearly has tarragon, so the “turning up the volume” carp is horse hash. Also, I believe that she has made this salad in more than one episode of her show with the caveat that “it’s really a Waldorf Salad with chicken in it. I’ve been making my own Chicken Waldorf Salad for years, although my version doesn’t call for tarragon.
There is a recent silly show where Ina uses some lady friends as a judging panel for three recipes whose volume is upped by a single ingredient: Danish enhanced with lemon, Chicken Salad with chopped fresh tarragon, and chocolate cupcakes laced with coffee. Funny how none of the women said, “Hmmm, what is that?” But, of course, Ina told them about her secret ingredients. I’ve known about the coffee trick with chocolate since college when DH worked for a campus pizzaria and saw them add the “secret ingredient” to their awesome hot fudge.
That’s the episode of which I was thinking. Stupid, wasn’t it? Gee, just about any recipe for the cheese filling for Danish has lemon zest in it. And Kahlua is great to add to chocolate baked goods.
That episode has been on at least fifty times in the last couple of months. I mean, come on, run some of the older shows or something, but it’s rerun after rerun after rerun of the same ol’ same ol’.
CherryRose, I totally agree on the coffee in the chocolate. I remember doing that when I worked at a coffee shop back in the sixties when I was a young teenager. She acts like she is the only one who ever thought of it. Hot coffee to thin hot fudge! Don’t get me wrong, I like Ina, but I can make every one of her recipes in my sleep because they rerun the same shows repeatedly. Please!! No more raspberry sauce…
“…back in the sixties when I was a young teenager.”
Byrdie, thank you for this comment. I, too, was a teen in the ’60s and am happy to know that some of us haven’t become “old” before our time. I’m in good company!
“I could eat an entire bag of Snickers bars right about now. How good is that?”
Did any of you see the new Barefoot Contessa today? She actually cooked for a STRAIGHT COUPLE. lmao
I Love Ina, I love that she has so many Gay friends.
Here’s what Ina’s thinking:
(1) Won’t it be faaabulous when they realize this is a liquid laxative!
(2)Whoops! My living bra just died!
(3)I’m gonna wake up from this nightmare any second!
(4)This is what I do to Jeffrey late every Friday. Except, it isn’t a bottle!
The “set” makes sense to me now because this episode was on today. It’s Frank and Steve’s house, and Ina referred to them as “minimalists”. Ina claimed that Frank and Steve are her BFFs and that they asked her if she’d cook dinner for some friends of theirs who were visiting. Don’t know how I managed to miss this show when it aired originally.
This is not her kitchen. I know pointing this out does not look good for me. But not funny cause it’s not her kitchen.
Compared to the other FN stars, Ina is one of the few chefs/caterers who has recipes that actually taste good and will work… I trust Bourdain’s knowledge as that is what he said.
“Compared to the other FN stars, Ina is one of the few chefs/caterers who has recipes that actually taste good and will work…”
Well said. Ina’s is the only FN show that I truly enjoy at this time, but I’m beginning to like Brian Boitano for many of the same reasons. Their food looks delicious, and both host gatherings that are inviting and welcoming.
I love Ina! And everyone knows gay men can cook and decorate! No wonder she’s their #1 Hag.
I know I should know this guys, but are Frank and Steve gay? I thought the guy with the white hair had a wife? By the way, that was a cheap ass stove for living in the Hamptons.
Frank and Steve are the poster kids for gay guys.
“…By the way, that was a cheap ass stove for living in the Hamptons.”
Frank and Steve’s house is a dump, if you ask me. The living room looks like a f*ckin’ funeral parlor. How creepy is that?
That episode was just on. It’s where Ina is cooking dinner for her ‘best friends’ Frank and Steve since they are stuck on the interstate in traffic. Of course, they pan over to F&S and they’re just crusing along with only a car or two with them on the road.
Cherry, Ina makes a comment about how F&S are minimalists. Guess that means ‘too cheap to buy furniture’. LOL!! I mean, at least pop for a can or two of paint with some damn color! I don’t know about funeral home…more like hospital ward.
@Byrdie: I mentioned the “minimalist” comment upthread and really don’t know how she meant it. Was Ina making an honest observation that the boys aren’t into an extravagant, lavish lifestyle, or is she mocking their lack of same? Obviously, Ina and Jeffrey live in a large home on several acres of prime Hamptons property…and let’s not forget hen that “barn” that must have cost a wee fortune. Ina surely isn’t a “minimalist” ;)
Ya know, Cherry, I think she may have been mockingly making a joke. She said it as she opened their freezer to find only ice cream and vodka (may Aunt Drunky stops by for a quick one). Aren’t these the same guys that went on vacation and her and Michael decided to perpetrate a b&e on their house and leave food and flowers? Cause if it is, then they ARE minimalists to the nines. On the ‘vacation’ episode, the fridge was totally emtpy. Now that they are back home and stuck on the Long Island Expressway, the freezer is nearly bare. Not a stitch of anything on the kitchen counters. Are these guys broke? Maybe they should reconsider their living situation and move to Jersey or something.
@Byrdie: LMAO at your above post! D*mn! Have to clean my ‘puter screen. Good thing it isn’t red wine ;)
Do ya think we’re too analytical about FN personalities and shows? Nah! As Martha would say, “It’s a good thing!” LOL!
Cherry, we can only speak the truth as we see it, right? And the more I think about it, ol’ Frank and Steve have a good con going. “Oh, Ina, please! We are stuck on the expressway (snicker) and we just don’t know WHAT to do! We’re having guests for dinner (chuckle chuckle) and we’re stuck here in the traffic [yeah, both cars] (hehehehe) and were wondering if you’d cook dinner for us?! Oh, help us Ina-one-kenoby, you’re our only hope! (snort)” And of course, ego being stroked, Ina reply’s “It’s the least I can do because Frank and Steven have done so much for me”.
Mean while, back in the ‘traffic’, F&S are laughing their asses off. “Man, Ina bought our sad story and we are getting a free dinner again! I’m so glad we bought that new fridge for the basement so she doesn’t see all the food we actually have. Got to keep her thinking we are minimalists and broke. Man, I love East Hampton!”
Ina DOES say that Frank and Steve are her BFFs! When I heard that, I thought, “WTF? Isn’t Jeffrey your best friend and partner for life?” Ina’s bestest friends in the whole wide world are two gay guys who live in a house that’s creepier than the Addams Family mausoleum? Does Ina ever hang out with the girls? Must be somethin’ in the water surrounding the Hamptons…
I think in past episodes, Frank is her publisher or has some sort of business dealings with him. Do you remember the show where she cooked two business breakfasts, one for two consecutive days of meetings? Wasn’t that Frank?
Yes, I do recall the breakfast meetings. And then there’s the birthday dinner for Frank or Steve when she makes him spaghetti w/meatballs ’cause that’s his favorite meal. I think there’s garlic bread and cupcakes, too.
There’s also an episode where Ina makes a turkey meatloaf for “the boss”. That might be Frank or Steve, too.
Why do I think that I’m going to want to buy the Barefoot Contessa DVD collection?
Cherry, I don’t think we’re analytical. Like Byrdie put it, we just call it as we see it. You two crack my up—lol. I agree about the traffic as well. Traffic, my ass.
I know one of those two, if not both of them, were invited to eat at her house when she hosted one of the challenges for the Next Foodnetwork Star Show.
R n K – I think that was Frank. Cherry, looks like Frank ought to sell that minimalist house of his and just freakin move in with Ina. He spends more time there than Jeffery and Ina won’t have to keep making up excuses to feed his face. And I had forgotten about the spag & meatballs. Yeah, Frankie boy sure gets his fair share of free food from Ina. If he keeps it up, Jeffery can use Frank as a tax deduction since it seems like he’s supporting his eating habit. BTW, I think Birthday Boy got ice cream sundaes for desert; he’s above the cupcake thing!
“Cherry, I don’t think we’re analytical. Like Byrdie put it, we just call it as we see it. You two crack my up—lol. I agree about the traffic as well. Traffic, my ass.”
I was being facetious and kind of wish that there were smilies here (hint to Jillian) because I would have inserted one. Some folks might think that it’s stuff & nonsense to nit-pick about certain aspects of a f*ckin’ cooking show, KWIM? Regardless, it’s all good…and d*mn fun, too!
“…I think Birthday Boy got ice cream sundaes for desert; he’s above the cupcake thing!”
Maybe Ina bought her BFF the “Cupcake Car” from NeedlessMarkup. I don’t have trouble picturing Frank and/or Steve driving around East Hampton in that silly contraption…including the fashionable “hats”.
Cherry, send me a roll of paper towels cause I just spit all over my laptop! The “cupcake car” is totally hysterically funny! OMG!!
Can you see the scene? Ina calls Frank, needing charcoal and twenty other groceries for her dinner party. So Frank puts on his white icing hat and runs out to the driveway and hops in his white cupcake car and peddles on down to the local green grocers!
OMG! That is just the funniest thing I’ve heard all day!!
Let’s have a glass of vino to celebrate my friend!!
“Let’s have a glass of vino to celebrate my friend!!”
You’re a bit late to the trough, dear. Cheers!
Cherry, I was hoping to wait until five, but hell. It’s Friday and it’s five o’clock somewhere!! Bottoms up!!
Does the “cupcake car” have a trunk? Where would Frankie put the groceries? I’ll have to give this some serious thought – LOL!
My sister and I will be at Margaritaville in Grand Turk in a couple of weeks while we’re on a 7-night Caribbean cruise. I’ve already figured out that we can be toasting the fine folks here at FNH at precisely 5:00pm that day. How cool is that?
Pretty cool! But a whole week without FHN is like a week without sunshine!
I think the cupcake car has an optional mini-muffin you can drag along to tote stuff!
“Pretty cool! But a whole week without FHN is like a week without sunshine!”
Never fear,
Byrdie dear.
There’s a shipboard Internet Cafe, and I promise to post a few times while I’m sailing.
Phew! I was wondering. My other half and I travel to Lake Tahoe every Thanksgiving for a wonderful week of r&r, and I take my laptop with me. Gotta be checking in for the latest from FHN!! It would take forever to try and catch up after 10 days of being out of touch!