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Worst Commercials Of The Month: July, 2009
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The Food Network is notorious for playing some of the most annoying commercials on television. And even worse, they play them OVER. AND OVER. AND OVER. (Hi, can you say “Partini?”) Check out the ads that annoyed us the most in July, 2009.
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It starts with two square pieces of Jello rhythmically jiggling to the beat of loud, annoying drums, and ends with a father and son doing Jello shots off of a platter in the kitchen. What’s next? Shots of tequila off the playground slide in the back yard?
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Surely you’ve seen Jamie Lee Curtis, sitting on a green sofa, interviewing random women about their regularity and pretending she’d like Activia even if she hadn’t been paid to. And in case that’s not painful enough, we also have to contend with some random woman singing “AC-TIV-I-A” every 4 seconds. Awful.
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Have YOU called Jenny Yet? No. I haven’t, because I’m sitting on the couch eating a pepperoni pizza with my friends while watching Paula Deen frying doughnuts. So kindly fuck off, Valerie Burtinelli.
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HGTV is owned by the same people who own the Food Network, so is it any surprise the Food Net plays ads for HGTV Design Star 85 times an hour? That sort of repetition makes the commercials intolerable. I swear to God, if I have to hear Vern Yip say, “It looks like a rainbow threw up in there” one more time, I’m moving to Guam.
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Seriously, how long is Ocean Spray going to continue to use this tired old schtick? I’m sick of seeing these two actors trying to be Abbott & Costello while standing in a sea of cranberries. Turn the page, Ocean Spray. The horse hath been beaten to death.
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Let The Food Network/HGTV Crossovers Begin---Sandra Lee’s Thanksgiving Jello Shots
---Guy Fieri On HGTV Showdown: A Brief Recap
---Super Bowl Commercials You Might Have Missed
---The 5 Worst Shows On Food Network
- General: Food Network
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56 Responses
The Activia one is gross. Yet, the one that grosses me out even more is the one where a lady is in the dairy aisle of the supermarket, and she slurps a yogurt out of the cup. Just the visual, the sound, and the awful texture of actually slurping a yogurt from a container makes me cringe every time.
I’ll admit to actually liking the HGTV one, if only to hear the snark on it.
I agree. However,HGTV Design Stars is judged by actual designers. Why isn’t the FN contest judged by chefs or even cooks? Bob T. and Susie Q. probably don’t know how to boil water so why are they judging something out of their area of expertise? A cook at Burger King would be more qualified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Jun – YESSSSSSS that one grosses me out too! In fact it grosses me out so much that I emailed Dannon and told them it was so disgusting that it made me *not* want to buy their yogurt.
When Vern Yip dies, he’s going to come back as an 8 year old boy and tell us he “Sees Rainbow colored dead people.”
And then Bruce Willis is going to do Jello shots with him, while his wife, played by Jamie Lee Curtis will down Activee-ah in the kitchen by the pint in a vain effort to slim down to Valerie Burtonelli’s size when she played “Barbara Cooper” on “One Day at a time”…
Note: The ghost of Bonnie Franklin’s character will be played by Melissa De’Arraibian…
Jun, I agree 100%! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hurt mysel scrambling for the remote when that idiot starts slurping!
You forgot one very annoying commercial, played about 90 times per hour. It is the stupid one for Miralax. Sometimes they even play it THREE TIMES IN A ROW or EVERY OTHER COMMERCIAL; I am not joking! I am sure every one of you has seen it too, but fell asleep to the annoying background music.
Thank goodness for my DVR. I think I would’ve given up tv long ago without it.
Courtney, you and I are exactly alike when it comes to commericals. Yuk. I DVR everything I watch so I can fast forward through that crap. Unfortunately, I sometimes am busy doing junk and lo, and behold, here comes Valerie or Jamie Lee and then it’s a mad dash to the remote. Some commericials you can tune out, but not when they are replayed ad naseum. The only one I can think of that is even more annoying that I’ve noticed is on FN is the Charmin bears displaying bits of TP of a competing brand stuck to their bear asses. How appetizing is that?
Their new slogan of “Enjoy the Go!” is just not acceptable. This could lead to open bathroom doors everywhere and being asked upon emerging, “how was it?”
Okay there is one commercial that drives me INSANE and it plays a LOT during their Nighttime lineup : Bush’s Baked Beans.
They are the corniest piece of crap commercials and everytime I see that stupid dog pretending to be a ghost and Baldie that can’t act, I groan with disgust. I turn to my friend and act like I am terrified, and then usually say something like it’s because I’m Korean…
I am suprised this annoying commercial isn’t on the list ):
@Courtney – Me too! I dont think Ive seen more than a dozen commercials in 2 years. Its great!
The line that annoys me most from Design Star:
“This is CRAZY. GOOD.”
UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“Okay there is one commercial that drives me INSANE and it plays a LOT during their Nighttime lineup : Bush’s Baked Beans.”
Agree completely. Those Bush’s Beans commercials were never really funny and have definitely jumped the shark.
That said, the Geico Gecko makes anything look good! The food-related commercials are especially delightful: the crispy chips that he purchased with the wrinkled dollar bill, empty Chinese take-out cartons on a kitchen counter, the comment about co-workers not stealing egg salad that belongs to the Gecko. Geico’s gotten a lot of mileage out of that lovable little lizard.
The Bush Beans ads have always been lame, almost infantile.
But I really hate all the pharmaceuticals ads – you know they show euphorically happy people, then say “ask your doctor about . . .” – half the time they don’t even indicate what ailment they treat.
On the other hand, one ad I find wickedly funny is the mean guy who tricks the poor little kids about not reading the small print, then mocks and laughs at them (Ally Bank, I think).
“So kindly fuck off, Valerie…” That was the funniest line in this whole thing! I’m still LMAO!
Another annoying commercial; The Baskin-Robins commercial.
“ICE CREAM AND CAKE! DO THE ICE CREAM AND CAKE!”x999,999,999,999,999.
I want to shoot myself everytime I hear that commercial.
@MELISSA. Yeah, it’s a truly annoying one! And the jingle is not even original.
*Di* – I hate those drug company ad’s as well. First, if you ever listen to what they are saying, there ain’t no way in hell I’m going to take a drug that has more side effects than the ailment it’s supposed to treat. “Side effects may include nausea, diarrhea, headache, stomachache, ear bleeds, nose bleeds, excess acid, muscle aches, bad breath, toenail failure, sudden urge to do the hokey-pokey…” Give me a break.
@BYRDIE, or how about the depression meds with the side effect of making you want to kill yourself? Ridiculous.
@BYrdie : http://www.happyfunball.com/hfb.html
Hate the Activia ads and the lady constantly looping the jingle. Seriously, nowhere on the Activia packaging does it say it is for constipation. It just says it regulates your bowels. This could mean it helps diarrhea, too. Who knows what it actually does? Now I just associate everything Jamie Lee Curtis with toilets and poop. (As if I didn’t before, but still.)
I hate the faucet ad where the man is singing in a fake Italian voice and sounds a lot like The Count von Count from Sesame Street. He sings about hands and you would never think it’s an ad for frigging faucets.
Let’s not forget about the endless supply of ads that appear DURING THE FRIGGIN SHOWS!! Whoever invented those things and/or thought they were a good idea seriously need to die.
CIALIS ads.
Enough said.
LOL!!! I thought for sure you were going to mention the Baskin-Robbins commercial. While I can see why many would find this commercial annoying, for some reason, I like it. I dance to it every time it comes on haha, and I don’t even like rap music (or whatever type of genre it is)!
I completely agree with the list in this post, though. I especially am tired of the rainbow-vomiting comment by Vern. I like him as a host of “Deserving Design”, but I don’t like to see him say such mean things like that over and over again. I agree about the Activia and Jello commercial, too. The Jenny Craig commercial grates on my nerves as well.
The only reason I don’t mind the Bush’s Baked Beans commercial is because I’m a sucker for dogs and that dog is adorable.
There’s this one Alzheimer’s medication commercial that freaks me the fuck out every time it comes on because the background music sounds very similar to the theme music to the Tales of the Crypt TV show (or the Friday the 13th TV series). You know, that creepy xylophone music.
The lame-ass chat for TNFNS doesn’t work, even with my high speed internet. Epic fail.
I’m sick and tired of being bombarded with commercials for pee medication, boner pills and feminine itch products. I also wish that GEICO would go bankrupt like Enron did so I would never again be exposed to their obnoxious, omnipresent marketing campaign. I’d love to see the USPS eagle swoop in and make a long, painful meal out of that little green bastard mascot with the phony accent. Flo from the Progressive ads needs to go away, too.
AWW! come on I think the GEICO commercials are pretty funny,except the ones with that guy with the crazy ass eyebrows, the only one that was wittily funny was the man playing a violin like a fiddle in the fancy restaurant,and the one where the little boy bakes a giant biscuit. but those progressive ones are very nerve grating,
Of course they will both get their own shows/or deals. American Idol anyone? Wish the best for all going through process.
Instead of Abbott & Costello, I think the cranberry guys are channelling Bartles & Jaymes from the 80s.
WAAAHHH! I hate the BB Beans commercials, especially the one with the dog as the ghost! And the progressive ones are annoying!!!!!!!!!
I agree that the Progressive ads are annoying especially the one where the idiot asks her “what if mom won’t let me drive” I wish she would say “Good God man, grow a pair why don’t you” & then we hear “we’re walking, we’re walking. I wish she would walk off my tv screen never to appear again. I’m also sick of the Viagra, Cialis and any other boner medication. Who cares when or if you can get manage your erection. Get a life.
Anyone seen the Ronzoni commercial with the brother and sister jamming spaghetti into their gaping mouths, only to have it fall out while they talk while chewing, and pick it right back up to jam it in there again? DISGUSTING.
I dont understand the advertising world’s assumption that dirty stick horrible-mannered children sell food.
Di…what is sad about the Ally bank commercials is that they used to be GMAC…it’s our money funding those commercials. Kinda makes you feel like that poor kid now, don’t it?
Gregg…you’re killing me here! But I am totally with you about Geico and Progressive. The creepy voyeuristic money ones bug the crap out of me! If that bundle of money ever showed up in my vicinity, those damn eyes would be ripped off and the bundle spent before the little bugger ever knew what hit him!
I am so glad somebody mentioned those B&R seizure-inducing commercials. I took a week-long vacation not too long ago and was PRAYING they would have gone the way of disco by the time I got back home. Obvs., no such luck…
I also detest the Prius ads with the people “da-da-da”-ing “Let Your Love Flow.” It is just was too creepy for me, all of those people moving like blades of grass. Ugh.
One of the Activia commercials kind of amuses me. The one where the black lady won’t go swimming because she has to shit. (she actually says she’s “irregular”, but come on…) Who would say that?
@Princess Crazypants – LOL Funny! I love it! And love your name, by the way! Thanks for the laugh on this “Melissa Monday”.
I especially liked the caption about HGTV and FN being owned by the same people…I was (ironically) watching Design on a Dime while reading that, and the music they were playing in one of the segments was the SAME EXACT music from Money Saving Meals! UGH! These people are SO original.
Personally, I got sick of the various drug commercials ages ago. Is there anything they won’t create a drug for? The latest, and most annoying, is the one with Brooke Shields for a drug that…… grows eyelashes. Yep, the drug may destroy your liver, kidneys or other internal organs, but you’ll have full lashes when you’re in the ICU! Much better choice than mascara.
Have to admit I like the Bush’s Baked Beans commercials because I like Golden Retrievers. Also enjoy the Geico Gecko (less so their other commercials) and Flo from Progressive. But, yeah, Jamie Lee and her Activia have got to go.
I was making pasta this morning, listening to some show I had DVR’d. Since I was busy, I couldn’t get to the remote in time and my most hated commericial came on and I was helpless to stop it in time….”I see you gratuated at the top of your GAS…your son TOOT is on line one…” shoot me.
A lot of people have already mentioned the ones I hate: the Ronzoni with the sloppy children, the yogurt woman slurping, and the ICE-CREAMANDCAKECAKECAKECAKEDOTHEICE-CREAMANDCAKE. Those children make me cringe, watching all the sauce slop on their clothes; the yogurt woman makes me homicidal and that ice-cream commercial should never have been allowed to air. All awful. How stupid do the big wigs think we are? :/
We can’t forget about the Geico cavemen. Every time I see a commercial with them I just about vomit. That is one series of commercials that I always hit the mute button.
What about the Baskin Robbins commercial that they play during every commercial break?!? That jingle drives me crazy and those plastic figures!!?!? WHY?? Or is it just me…
How did that Walmart commercial with MILEY CYRUS and her awful singing not make the list?
I agree about the Activia one, though. Heck, any of the commercials with jingles annoy me (like that Stanley Steemer one). D=
Hate Hate Hate (yes strong word) Baskin Robbin’s latest commmercial. Loud, annoying, “Ice cream and cake and cake?” is that what they are screaming at me?
Entertaining to perhaps hispanic illegal immigrants with cousins who work for Comcast and hook up their cable for free?
I am going to Carvel.
THat jello slurping conteset commercial i like a lot.. the dad in that commercial looks so sexy. i wish i knew who he was
@ Leah…Come on, you can’t be serious! The Geico caveman commercial was the most hilarious thing on TV! Actually, all Geico commercials were the best things I remembered about TV commercials in the US. Sometimes I used to wonder if Geico was the only car insurance company there, cos none other could beat them to the test.
I, like Leah, die a little every time one of those insane Progressive commercials come on, which is about 5 times an hour. And the Baskin Robbins commercial is a piss poor attempt to get the same buzz as the McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish jingle, or maybe even that coolest of commercials, Nannerpuss!
I DON’T eat Activia BECAUSE (thanks to the commercials) it will make me think of going number 2 while I am eating it and that is sooooo GROSS. I mean seriously – advertising a food item on the total premise that you will pretty much poop right afterwards totally makes me lose my appetite. DISGUSTING!
Assuming you’re not constipated. If you are, then it’s a definite selling point.
I happen to think the ocean spray commercial are cute. and the older man is especially cute and I look forward to seeing more of him.
I hate those commercials for Musinex, the ones with the gross green characters of snot. yuk!
The MOST disgusting commercial I’ve seen in a LONG time is the Activia one in the park where Jamie Lee Curtis is wheeling the little ice cream cart full of Activia and she convinces the couple who come up to her to try it. When the man says through the yogurt still in his mouth “ooh, this is really good” I just cringe in total disgust. And I think about that horrible commercial everytime I see it in the store, too.
Is anyone else grossed out by one of the latest activia commercials where Jamie Lee has an ice cream cart and is handing out free samples and the woman says “is this the yogurt that makes you…? (awkward hand gesture)” I just want to fill in the blank there (crap? poo? pick one). I am also really grossed out by the guy in the end with his mouth full of yogurt saying “thisisrullygud” in a very Sandra Lee sort of way….
I remember these commercials! The Ocean Spray one is possibly the most annoying, mostly because of the special needs guy.
BTW, I don’t think moving to Guam will help you escape seeing these things on TV. You’d probably be seeing more of them since there’s really nothing much to do here as a resident… unless you like the beach and bar-hopping.
@Cassandra I hate that commercial!! It’s weird how that guy said “no thanks” in a disgusted way, as if it meant that the yogurt that makes you poop actually tasted like poop! I’m glad someone brought this up