Guy Fieri »
A Day In The Life Of Guy Fieri
Published on: September 29, 2009 – 12:10 pm by Jillian Madison 
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Bread Is Life---This Lionel Richie Cake Has Made My Life Complete
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
hahahahaha
Could he possibly wear any more jewelry?! ugh.
He only wishes he could be like Mr. T. I sure pity the fool!
I feel sorry for his wife. He’s probably cheating on her all over the country.
Ferry’s a slimebucket, pure and simple.
A random 30-minute segment of Guy’s day:
Looked in mirror, played with hair (need bleach job, make a note)
Kissed mirror
Adjusted wristbands
Checked out sunglasses on back of head with handheld mirror
Kissed mirror again
Tried out new mouth-open expressions in mirror. Yeah, baby!
Practiced gang signals that best show off finger bling
Noticed speck of last Wednesday’s Triple-D nachos in teeth (what the hey, who actually uses cilantro, and what is that stuff, anyway?)
Yelled at offspring trying to get into bathroom
Wondered what that gross smell was, realized it was me; changed shirt
Kissed mirror
Good grief, just looked at Ferry’s twitter. “Anutha”? WTF.
Aside from the stupid goatee and bleached hair, his gold necklace, bracelets, rings and earrings are too much. I just get this ‘ewwwwww’ feeling every time I see him. In fact, his show is on right now and he’s just so unappealing I can’t even watch it.
How did you find a picture of Guy without his mouth wide open? On a side note, I have FN on a TV in a different room and can hear Giada making her foodgasam sounds. For the love of God, will someone please tell her she sounds like an idiot.
This guy has become such a cartoon character. I am sure it is because the size of his penis is quite small. All the statistics point to this. Look it up.
Who would wear sweatbands, shorts adorned with a such an idiotic theme? Who would buy such stupid nonsense ?
He is well on his way to becoming one of our National Embarrassments. Well Done . Oh and we know you’re not Italian . Your GrandDaddy is from the mountains of West Virginia you schmuck.
LOL!
I thought the caption on that second pic was going to be, “Make that TWO ladies ….”
Guy Ferry is the reason I did not make the upgrade to Food Network HD.
Do I really have to see every pore on this talking douche-pineapple?
Sarah, W.Va. is chock full of Italians. None of them would claim any relationship to Guy Ferry, though. Too much pride.
@Ferd Berfle: You totally nailed it. What about “Sounding off a reeaally long, loud one and savoring the smell.”
Caption for 1st picture: Hey Babes, got Grandmas car AND sunglasses, wanna go back to the ol’ Motel 6? I got a room next to the ice machine.
Caption for picture 2: I’m holding up one finger for every inch of my missle to “happy town” .
Picture #3: Well….girl #1….sorry, but you might wanna go. Fugly is as fugly does.
Another Food Network LOSER! His “Bling”, Habits, and Dishes have turned me OFF!
I used to watch FoodNetwork all day long, but NOW I just watch a few shows … AB and Ina.
Guy SUX! Big Time!
Wannabecook: I’m not so sure about that (Guy cheating on his wife). Who on earth would sleep with him?
Ferd Berfle: Absolutely hilarious!
I just saw a repeat of the Mission Impossible episode he was on. God! He really IS a DB. He cheated, sabotaged Robert, and washed some “chicken juice” off his foot/shoe in the kitchen sink. This was a sleep away camp, so you know there was a bathroom somewhere.
@Wannabee: Don’t insult the great women of our nation with talk like that.
The only people who want to “doink” Fi-etti are other douchbags with monster trucks, Vanilla Ice cassette tapes, mobile homes and jizz-stained goatees.
Did he just have cataract surgery? What’s with those goofy shades???
Tool tweets:
Got back to cali this am from nyc. Havin big time meetin rite now about the Guy Fieri Road Show. It is buildin so much energy.
half a minute ago from txt
Sorry, I did a rookie twitt, I was tryin to respond to my homie Jesse James,about a pic of a sick viper hot rod he sent me. Ya gotta see it.
2:09 PM Sep 30th from txt
Siiiiiicccckkkk! What r da specs? G
1:49 PM Sep 30th from txt
You assholes are just jealous that you can never mount up to Guy. Suck it.
Oh…my…God. At just the thought of me “mounting up” to Guy (which sounds vaguely sexual), I now am fighting the urge to vomit. Oh, yes, I’m SOOOO jealous.