Bobby Flay, Paula Deen »
It’s Paula’s Family, UPDATED With Bobby Flay’s “My Grill”
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After much careful consideration (translation: 16 seconds of thinking about it), I’ve decided the Addams Family theme song could easily have been written about Paula Deen and her family. Here are the original lyrics, in all their eerily familiar glory:
They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky,
It’s Paula’s Family.
Their house is a museum
Where people come to see ‘em
They really are a scream
It’s Paula’s Family.
[and the new Deen-specific lyrics, as written by Byrdie, with help from the FNH crew in the comments:]
She’s peepee and she’s poopy,
She’s smokey and she’s droopy,
She’s all together pukey,
Her name is Pauler Deen.
Her end goal is the money
She hawks her crap, it’s funny
She smiles and says ‘y’all, honey’
Her name is Pauler Deen
Her dogs, they pee and poo some
Inside her house, it’s gruesome
She laughs and thinks it’s awesome
Her name is Pauler Deen
So please don’t buy or watch her
You’d just bring on more torture
Bob T’s amassed a fortune
By helping Pauler Deen
[And how about one more song parody targeting Bobby Flay, written by CherryRose and sung to "My Girl" by the Temptations:]
*MY GRILL*
An original FNH song by CherryRose
I am famous, from New York to L.A.
For my products and restaurants, people will pay
It’s no secret, I’d say
Why this fame has come my way
My Grill, My Grill, Talkin’ ‘bout My Grill…
I’ve got so much money most chefs envy me
And now I’ve got me a daytime Emmy
It’s no secret, I’d say
Why this fame has come my way
My Grill, My Grill, Talkin’ ‘bout My Grill
As an Iron Chef, I’ve garnered much acclaim
Oh! How I love cookin’ over an open flame
It’s no secret, I’d say
Why this fame has come my way
My Grill, My Grill, Talkin’ ‘bout My Grill…
Man! I love grillin’ those chipotle
Don’t ya know: I’m Chef Bobby Flay
It’s no secret, I’d say
Why this fame has come my way
My Grill, My Grill, Talkin’ ‘bout My Grill…
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Bobby Flay Adds 2 New Steps To “Grill It” Intro---Grillin’ With Bobby Flay: All Week on the Food Network
---Bobby Flay’s Wife On Grill It
---Bobby Flay on Entourage: The Saga Continues
---Um, Food Network Probably Should Have Just Re-Shot This Ending To Bobby Flay’s Grill It
- Bobby Flay
- Paula Deen
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64 Responses
I can never get those two brothers straight. I don’t know who is who and I’m just fine with that.
Does North Face know that one Deen boy is wearing a possibly unauthorized t-shirt with their logo on it?
Well I’ll be damned. Hold me upside down and spank me with a stick of firm butter. Those lyrics represent the Deen family to a T.
aaaaaaand, that song will now be in my head for the next 2 weeks. Damn you FNH!
“I can never get those two brothers straight” LOL! From what I hear, nobody’s been able to get Bobby straight!
@Dan: let’s hope you aren’t serious? I’m SOOOO sure that overpriced company needs some more profits.
Oh, that’s right, people who buy clothing/whatever with the brand’s name/logo as the focus of the item, usually are pretty insecure, or just total dildos (sp?)
I get the shirt, it’s a funny, only problem is, Mommy can actually buy the North Farce garb/flair for her little stoner brats.
I don’t get the shirt at all. What does North Face have to do with Grateful Dead? Is it just supposed to be funny because they both have the word “Face” in them?
If so, what a total comedic fail.
I don’t get the shirt either. Or why so many people find those boys attractive. Or worth giving 2 shits about.
@Neo: Don’t feel bad, ever since I saw that picture of Guy Fietti w/the flame-throwin’ crotch, I’ve been singing “LOVE GUN…..LOOOOOOOVVVVVE GUN”
I am serious. I work for a major clothing company and we deal with that BS every day. If one of our logos appears on another piece of apparel, without or consent, it’s a huge deal. Why shouldn’t it be? If not, every Tom Dick and Harry could be making their own, say, Hugo Boss shirts.
The Deen family is a lot of things, and now that you mention it, OOKY is definitely one of them.
@Epic, Jamie’s the taller one who married a brunette Barbie doll who practically dropped a baby at her wedding to cement her financial security.
Bobby, the shorter one, must be gay (with a nod to Laurie’s previous post) as he never talks about women, is never seen with women and I think is happy-as-a-Dean-in-slop as a Momma’s-Boy forever.
What does “steal your face” mean?
Paula’s hubby makes a great (albeit much more hairy) Lurch.
“I can never get those two brothers straight.”
“From what I hear, nobody’s been able to get Bobby straight!”
@Laurie: LOL! That’s exactly what I thought when I read the first post here. No way will anyone ever get both Deen brothers “straight”!
Have you noticed how Paula is always trying to fix Bobby up with female cooking guests? Wonder if she’ll try to push him on Kate Gosselin if that talkfest ever comes off?
Jillian, thanks for husband Michael’s cameo appearance.
Looks like Paula hung him up as an early Christmas decoration.
Stoner brats, ha! LOL…….
I wouldn’t mind PD so much if her Southern drawl didn’t come and go a la Oprah’s Ebonics affectation. It’s hard to know if Paula’s charm is really ingrained—errrrr, or is that INBRED? Heh. Is it me or does it seem like space aliens abducted Paula Deen one day and gave us back this bellowing, whoreish, sloppy old cow? I miss the charming, laid back old gal we used to see.
Now, back to your artery clogging programming!
@Dan: Guess what? Tom, Dick and Harry already do that, except they’re named Chin, Li and Hop-sing! And they produce/sell a helluva lot more illegal knockoffs/ripoffs than some burnout with photoshop and a knowledge of silk-screening. I’m so sure everyone at the next Phish concert will spend there dope money on some funny T-shirt (which only they actually “get”), instead of buying a sack of chronic.
I know where you’re coming from, but fry the big fish and throw back the little ones. Or, just choose the fights you know you can win.
I couldn’t agree more Bubbelah! I’ve gotten so used to seeing her braying like a donkey and grabbing every ass that comes across her set, that the other day when one of her really old episodes aired, I was totally shocked. She was sweet, soft spoken and just as grandmotherly as could be. So the question I have is this: Who’s the real PD? The gin swilling, chain smoking, ass grabbing, driveway pooper or the sweet, angelic lady with the gentle voice and disposition? Scary to ponder.
Damn, Jillian. Now I’m going to have that song in my brain for the rest of the day (hopefully sleep will erase it, but then, who the hell knows). You may be able to add another verse that is soley in the honor of Pauler! How about “she peepee and she’s poopy….”
“How about “she peepee and she’s poopy….”
LMAO!
LOL @ “driveway pooper” and at space aliens taking Paula and replacing her with Paul-ER.
Wth with that shirt? I do not get it and it makes Jamie look like a bigger douche dolt than I already thought him to be.
Totally unflattering pic of Bobby, who regardless of sexual orientation, is a hottie.
Looove the Mr Paul-ER in the background!
Anyone notice how in love with themselves these guys are on Twitter? They’re almost (ALMOST) worse than Tyler Florence. Maybe I’m just speaking for myself here, but I don’t want to see pictures of the Starbucks they’re stopping at or the planes they’re flying on. Lordy.
You’re rigiht, Gayle. When it comes to ego, no one is worse than Tyler Florence!
@Byrdie: add this to your lyrics, “she’s smokey and she’s droopy….”
Nice job, Byrdie, like the way you think. In some ways, I’m still a child, just can’t seem to grow up, ask my better half someday.
Question: are you the real Gayle King, like as in Oprah’s probably girlfriend Gayle King???
Well now if I told you that, I’d have to kill you. (evil grin)
How about “pukey” and “loopy”?
After all these visuals I’m afflicted with from these posts, I’m suddenly thinking how terrifying a PD drag queen would be. Wait. Someone’s doing that already. *shudder* I wonder if they’d work this song into their act? Now THATS entertainment people! ;)
CherryRose, I think we got our verse. Perhaps Madison can add it the post. Good job team.
@Jamie, and all other FNH freaks:
FYI: Go to youtube and search “Paula Deen Parody”.
Enjoyable waste of my time & life.
I believe that is an Ed Gein tribute shirt.
“I believe that is an Ed Gein tribute shirt.”
Now that is truly funny!
Ok, you all have inspired me, so using your words, CherryRose and Dank, my addition to Jillian’s words of wonder!
She’s peepee and she’s poopy,
She’s smokey and she’s droopy,
She’s all together pukey,
Her name is Pauler Deen.
Her end goal is the money
She hawks her crap, it’s funny
She smiles and says ‘y’all, honey’
Her name is Pauler Deen
Her dogs, they pee and poo some
Inside her house, it’s gruesome
She laughs and thinks it’s awesome
Her name is Pauler Deen
So please don’t buy or watch her
You’d just bring on more torture
Bob T’s amassed a fortune
By helping Pauler Deen
I believe that is an Ed Gein tribute shirt.
Manske, I just spit out my hot toddy, jagoff. That makes my “quote of the day”.
F-ing hysterical.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Gein
Jillian, better add Byrdie to the payroll.
Byrdie, YOU ROCK!
Indeed. If I ever get a “payroll” I’d put many of you on it. Hey, maybe I should start my own magazine like Canduce! In her wise, wise words, “YAY!!!!!!!”
I checked out YouTube and found a charming clip entitled “Paula’s Heart Attack.” The woman made a breakfast sandwich out of the following: Two glazed doughnuts, 1 huge sausage patty, 1 fried egg and 2 slices of bacon. The only thing missing was a stick of butter stacked on top.
@Jillian, RUN with that idea…..you’d make a fortune. YAH to you!
@Byrdie’s AwEsOmE!
All I can say is “YAY”!!!!!!!
@Jamie,
I saw that show. UNbelievable! Krispy Kreme should’ve given her a stipend.
Jillian, if you really strive to fail, start a print publication. I’ve been in the printing/publishing/advertising business for twenty years, and let me say this, “PRINT IS DEAD! LONG LIVE PRINT!”.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the printed word,(it IS my life), but the world/tech has moved on. There will always be a demand for hardcopy, but newspapers/periodicals will be the first to assume room temperature. No Kindle for me, yet.
I cannot imagine what marketing research/cock-sucking this Can-dunce had to do to convince someone to back her hairbrained idea.
Our production runs (newspaper ad inserts) have fallen so steep in the past two years, plant closures in Chicago and a few other markets were the only option for survival. Newspaper readership (physical copy) has declined terribly, and will continue to. Magazines next, trust me.
Good luck Candus, interested in this bridge in AZ I got, I’ll let it go cheap?
(Oh Come On) You killed me with that one! LMAO :) If I orinally thought her deep fried macaroni and cheese wrapped in bacon was an offense to food, good lord! I actually got heart palpitations and sweats from watching that.
“Hey, maybe I should start my own magazine like Canduce! In her wise, wise words, “YAY!!!!!!!”
And then you should put Guy Ferry on the cover AS TOTAL SNARK!!!!!!
that would be hi-freaking-larious!!!!
cool to see Jamie is a deadhead
YAY!
Oh that is a good idea for a FNH store, you “tounge in cheek” announce that you are starting a FNH magazine and put Guy on the cover, then people can post what the caption should be.
Mine would be:
Move over Julia Child… There is a new GUY in the kitchen!
Here’s my addition to the effort:
She’s hawking pork and butter
It makes her heart a’flutter
To Smithfield there’s no other
It’s all about the cash
Her relatives are scary
Her husband’s really hairy
Her sons are bearable barely
It’s all about the cash
She needs to quit grabbing asses
not drool when a hot one passes
She’s pissing off the masses
It’s all about the cash
Feel free to add/delete……..:)
Oh Come On, excellent!! I love the ‘husband’s really hairy’ line! YAY!!!!!!!
Ok, Cherry Rose! The ball’s in your court.
Just saw the update! “My Grill”! Rock on, CherryRose! You hit another one out of the park!
@ LOU
“I believe that is an Ed Gein tribute shirt.”
ABSOLUTELY the funniest thing I’ve seen today….thanks, I needed it.
That is awesome CherryRose! :)
@Jillian: Thanks for sharing “My Grill” on your website. FNH rocks! CR
“my grill”
are you speaking of her unnaturally WHITE teeth?
Wow, what a bunch of negative people posting here. If you don’t like the people and/or their shows, then why do spend so much time discussing them? You people know more about them than people who actually like them. That’s really sad, but then so must be your lives to be so judgmental and negative.
@JustPassingThrough: Honey, if you’re stupid enough to take on this bunch after seeing the way they (we?) tore Canduce a new one, then I suggest you don’t stick around to read what’s coming to you next!
JustPassingThrough forgot to mention that besides having miserable lives we’re all jealous of the FN stars. That’s why we post here, just plain ol’ jealousy.
“Just saw the update! “My Grill”! Rock on, CherryRose! You hit another one out of the park!”
Thanks, Byrdie. Kudos to you, too, for the Paula Deen tune additions.
FNH rocks!
@JustPassingThrough. Is that you, Canduce?
@Ferd
Agreed. I in fact hope reincarnation is real so there is a chance I can come back as Sandra (hic) Lee.
Gotta admit the Byrdie tune was great. I think next time you gotta include Capt Highliner in another verse.He is pretty creepy as well.
Have you all heard about one of the lastest entries to the Texas State Fair’s “What else should we deep fry?” And the winner….deep fried butter!!! Did Pauler enter that one?
Can someone explain to me please the several poo references towards PD? I just recently started coming to this site so it must be something from a while ago. Also, she smokes cigarettes?? How do we know this? Just wondering..she never struck me as a smoker at all.
@Carnivorous Hottie: I read in an earlier post that Paula once told her audience a story about taking a dump in her driveway. Then there was a television tour of her home which featured several shots of dog poo inside the house.
I believe last Saturday’s Pauler’s show was damage control regarding Bobby’s gay rumors. She had both of her darlings on with a Sports Illustrated swim suit model who was making her mother’s pork chop recipe – yeah, like she really eats them. Jamie is quoted as saying, “I’m just here for the pork chops!”