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Semi-Homemade Pastel Episode From Hell
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Dear Food Network,
In case you don’t have a calendar handy, allow us to point out to you that all of us here on Earth are currently in the month of SEPTEMBER. This begs the question: why are you currently airing Easter-themed episodes of Semi-Homemade? And furthermore, why is everything saturated in that hideous pink hue? Is this episode sponsored by Pepto Bismol or did you hire Elle Woods from Legally Blonde to handle your visual effects?
Look. The birdhouses and dangling eggs tipped us all off that we’re supposed to be celebrating springtime. No one needs to see Sandra Lee standing around in an outfit that looks like it was just regurgitated by the Easter bunny after eating the cheap Monet reprints from my old college dorm.
How about some more timely programming and hair styles? Sandra Lee won’t be bringing home any Daytime Emmys looking like a rejected extra on set of Charlie’s Angels now, will she?
Sincerely,
FNH
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---This Just Overheard On An Episode Of Semi-Homemade---5 QUESTIONS: Today’s Episode Of Semi-Homemade
---Tailgating, Semi-Homemade Style
---Semi-Homemade: The Awful “White Christmas” Episode
---FIRST LOOK: Upcoming Semi-Homemade “Homecoming Tailgate” Episode
- Sandra Lee
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39 Responses
OMG she’s utterly delusional-This reminds me of an old Soundgarden video called Black Hole Sun…This bitch is crazy–LMAO
You know, after seeing those screen caps, I think the fact that she just “tries too much” is her most annoying quality*
We’ve all know people like that, they may even good people, they may even NOT be lushes… but she just tries to damn hard and it comes across as needy and desperate and in her case, untalented..
*Ok I lied, her most annoying quality is that food fraud “semi-homemade” that she inflicts on her viewers…
I saw a few minutes of this show today during a commercial on Law & Order. With all the fugly pastels, Sandra Lee was talking about comfort foods and making soup. Methinks she has her seasons mixed up.
Aunt Sandy needs a better bra. Those udders are hanging down to her waist.
Seriously , how many brain cells has she lost?
“..how many brain cells has she lost?”
Not sure she had much brain matter to begin with, but all those “cocktail times” surely didn’t help preserve the limited brain cells.
I like the pink KitchenAid mixer. That’s about all I can say.
I can see that set being really popular with the Grandma demographic.
“I can see that set being really popular with the Grandma demographic.”
Not this grandma ;) Sandra’s gaudy sets and all those knick-knacks make me nauseous.
@CherryRose: Those udders are hanging down to her waist.
LOL about her low-riders. Wonder why her plastic surgeon hasn’t suggested a ‘lift’ to accompany her Botox.
@Oh Come On: Aunt Sandy’s sagging bags look almost as bad as Ina’s earlier in the week. Even a good sport or support bra would help those mams.
Not this grandma either. What’s with the “deer in the headlights” look in the second photo?
haha, cheap Monet reprint. I still have my Bordighera from freshman year. I cropped off the worn border and framed the thing.
If my kitchen looked anything like that, I’d be in my closet with the door closed, squating in a dark corner, eating a Maria Callendar pastabowl, mumbling incoherently.
Yep. The Easter Bunny sure did take a dump on that set. The “Semi-Homemade” Skillet Apple Pie. Why, why, why use canned apples AND fresh apples??? (don’t forget the Cool Whip Aunt Sandy) Good thing she ended with a cocktail! I sure needed one when all was said & done.
@frog Legs-Yep. The Easter Bunny sure did take a dump on that set. Too funny. I can’t stop laughing. thanks
Since I didn’t see the entire pastel program, did Aunt Sandy’s hair droop – like her boobs – by the end of the show? In the first few minutes, her hair was really curly as in the first photo, but her hair looks limp in the second photo? No stylist on the set for a touch-up on the Emmy winning coif?
@CherryRose…Even a good sport or support bra would help those mams.
Mams…..LMAO Tuschman has a foundation-lacking network.
When I sold baby formula my husband wanted me to get ‘mammary-s’ on my company car license plate.
Who came up with the idea, or allowed Aunt Sandy’s idea, of having that shelf clutter/window treatment backdrop? It’s always been just slightly worse than her table-scapes, which are absurd! The color/theme coordination makes one wonder where all that crap is kept. Aunt Sandy’s prop garage?
Aww, thanx Laura!
@FrogLegs: I wish I’d come up with that one. I was thinking this set must have been the inspiration for Vern Yip’s “rainbow vomit” comment, but yours is much better!
Also, those boobies look like they’re about 2 inches from
her belly butten. She really needs to do something about that busted suspension.
Even Farrah, now a true angel, knows style and Sandra Lee could have learn some tips from her. But I guess Sandra tends to think of the ghost of an American beauty as annoying voice in her head.
GO FARRAH!
I wonder if those decorations r store bought or semi homemade with the craft kit lol that so… I’m undecided between tacky and cheesy
Why does that look like it was filmed in 1972?
I watched this episode and my eyes hurt! That much pastel pink is hard to take! I also thought her recipes didn’t “go” with her set.
I have always wondered what happens to all that Dollar Tree crap when she’s finished with it – do you think there’s a giant Semi-Ho warehouse somewhere overflowing with pink ruffled table runners?
She’d be less annoying if everything didn’t match. There is no earthly need to match your KitchenAid to your dress to your curtains to your knickknacks.
Holy shit, is that a PINK rolling pin in the back left, sitting atop a breadbox? Did she even bake anything? Hell, does she ever really bake anything or does everything just come out of a premixed tube?
I’m having an LSD flashback…the bad part.
“I’m undecided between tacky and cheesy”
Why not combine the words? Cheetacky? Tackeesy?
“I’m having an LSD flashback…the bad part.”
LOL! Or one of those pink elephant nightmares after a night of boozing?
“Why not combine the words? Cheetacky? Tackeesy?”
HAHA, the last sounds like queasy, I think that’s a suitable statement.
I am amazed that FN doesn’t make her update her look! She is so freakin’ cheesy, from her totally unatural hair color to her clothes from 1977. Her set should be on a single wide trailer in the Ozarks and Uncle Daddy as her sidekick. I understand having different show premises for different demographics and every FN host can’t be in Gucci and D&G…but come with the freakin’ huckapoo-type shirts. She is pretty and has a good figure(she could use a more supportive bra)why do they allow her to be so tacky and dated?!
@Albert..I just read your post and I used both “tacky and cheesy” in my post and feel they both adjectives worked quite well! lol
“Judith wrote:
Not this grandma either. What’s with the “deer in the headlights” look in the second photo?”
******************
lololol!
Bonzy, I think the “deer in the headlights” look is a result of one of the stage hands carrying a large mirror behind the camera and Aunt(hic)(buurp)Sandy got a clear look at what the set actually looked like. Either that or somebody stole her bottle of vodka.
Soundgarden should NEVER be invoked in association with SHAMDRA!! LOL.
Seriously – this show is becoming worse and worse dreck every year. Didn’t think that was possible since her first season stank to high Heaven but apparently, she proved me wrong. Way to go, SHAMDY!! <3
LOL, @Olive Loahf, I was thinking the same thing. This HAS to be a Shamdra-esque acid trip…
It looks like the Easter Bunny got drunk off of one of her cocktails and puked spring shit all over the kitchen.
OMG! This episode was on today (2:00 EDT). Geez, was it awful – again. WTF was Sandracula thinking when she donned that awful pastel shirt and decorated her kitchen with frickin’ pastel birdcages? Comfort foods? Not in that kitchen! Where’s the Pepto-Bismol?