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Today On Ten Dollar Dinners…
---Food Network Renews Ten Dollar Dinners; The Internet Shrieks In Horror
---The New Melissa d’Arabian “Ten Dollar Dinners” Promo Needs To Die
---FNH Review: $10 Dinners With Melissa D’Arabian
---Twitter Conversations: Melissa D’Arabian’s $10 Dinners
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Today On Ten Dollar Dinners…
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---New Taglines For Ten Dollar Dinners---Food Network Renews Ten Dollar Dinners; The Internet Shrieks In Horror
---The New Melissa d’Arabian “Ten Dollar Dinners” Promo Needs To Die
---FNH Review: $10 Dinners With Melissa D’Arabian
---Twitter Conversations: Melissa D’Arabian’s $10 Dinners
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93 Responses
that show looks awesome. Cooking with Garbage and Godzilla
Just saw this new thread. I posted earlier that Mommy Dearest looks like she’s PG in today’s episode.
I lost count on the number of times that Melissa said “carmelized” in the shrimp show :)
She is just terrible!! I think the Food network is on the verge of a coup, I find less and less people that watch their shows. there is quite a bit of quality competition on other networks.
Godzilla! Super LOL!
His fire breathing capabilities are no match for her frozen bacon!
@pwkwsfi–I would watch that show.
LOL
NO f’ing way she made that shrimp scampi for under $10.
This show is so stupid. Untruthful budgets and lame host(ess)
This was the last episode (HORRAY) until the new season starts next year (YELCH). Hopefully she’ll stop talking about bacon and telling long boring stories about her mother.
Today she went on for 5 minutes about how her mother gave birth to her when she was in college, and didn’t have any money, and always bought cheap coffee but put cinnamon in it. Then Melissa said “Oh well, it always tasted good anyway.” So Melissa drank coffee when she was a small child before her mother killed herself? Yeah sure.
Statistics on Mommy D on today’s episode. She said: ‘here/there we’ go 8 times; ‘perfect’ 12 times; ‘alright’ 17 times, ‘yum’ only 5 times BUT once again, she said ‘my’ a whopping 36 times. I need to start counting the number of time she uses ‘love’, because she loves lemon, loves garlic, loves her stove, loves her water faucet, on and on.
I like to call this episode “Shrimp SCAM-pi”. What a scam to think we would swallow the total cost of $7 for shrimp, garlic, lemons and linguini.
And since when does linguini (Mommy D LOVES linguini) add texture? Huh?
@ Cherryrose … “I posted earlier that Mommy Dearest looks like she’s PG in today’s episode.”
YES, I thought so, too. Sure looked like the beginnings of a baby bump. Uh-oh!
Well at least there wasn’t any frozen bacon today.
If she is with child, Susie and Tishue will totally change her show next year and focus on baby foods, making them from scratch, nutrition for young ones etc..
and you know what? prob. would not be a bad idea, and something she could definitely pull off if they did that.
You heard it here first susie and tushie, Send me my royalties now.
@Byrdie: Did you happen to count the number of times that Mel said “carmelized”? That really bothered Mr.CherryRose and I!
Following the “Ten Dollar SCAMpi”, Brian Boitano’s was a pleasure to watch. He was on against himself in his cameo appearance in “Ice Princess” on the Family Channel.
“..I thought so, too. Sure looked like the beginnings of a baby bump..”
The gauzey mauve tee displayed the “bump” and a maternity bra, IMO.
“If she is with child, Susie and Tishue will totally change her show next year and focus on baby foods, making them from scratch, nutrition for young ones etc.”
Green beans with bacon. Blueberry Buckle with bacon. Bacon-flavored Beef Stew. Egg Yolks with bacon. Melissa D’Arabian’s complete line of baby/toddler foods marketed by FN. Infinite Possibilities!!
@CherryRose LOL
And the whole show is sponsored by Pamper’s new line of bacon scented diapers:
Why smell baby poop when you can smell bacon?
@DesignerJeans: I’m charging you $10 a minute to clean my monitor screen? LOL!
Her mom gave birth to her while Melissa was in college??I knew she smart but, holy frijole. Now she really makes me sport a chub, sexy and smart. Who’da thunk?
@Designer Jeans, lol. Well, everything is better with bacon. Just ask Mattin.
@Cherry Rose – not only did I notice how many times she said “carmelized”, I also noticed that she didn’t know what she was talking about when she referred to it. The shrimp aren’t exactly carmelized (at least from my pov on my tv in my living room in my house). She just blathers on and on and doesn’t even seem to be congnizant of what she is saying. Drives me insane!! Ah, just remembered something else from the show. She said her kids eat brocolli? I guess they are at that age, but I thought kids around four and under shouldn’t eat that stuff because it’s too gassy for their little stomachs. Especially with parmesan and olive oil. Then again, her mother served her coffee with cinammon when she was but a babe in arms. Yeah, whatever…
And you’re right about Brian B. He’s fun to watch and his food ideas are simple and fun!
Didn’t many comment on the possible look of a bump during the finale of TNFNS also?
My brother and i are convinced that she won TNFNS because she is someone that can easily be phased out after 2 seasons. Eventually the economy is not going to be quite as terrible, and people won’t need too many different ideas for 10 dollar dinners.
Besides, how many different chicken, potato, and pasta dishes can she make?
@ Byrdie: Hilarious post with your statistics. I’ve been planning to do the same exercise with TyFlo to see how many times he says “boom”, “nice”, “aaaaaaaaabsolutely” and “kay” on his show, but I can never sit through an entire episode.
Oh my oh my, she’s just getting more and more ridiculous by the week, isn’t she? First of all, there was her great tip of the week: she likes to buy her lemons ON SALE! Gee, I always shop all the neighborhood stores to get the most expensive ones, don’t you? And instead of mentioning her French husband, she coyly slipped in a “Voila!” in there just so you wouldn’t forget (as thought we ever would). The only way she could have made that scampi for $10 was if she went out on a boat and caught them herself. Shrimp of that size go for about 14.99 a pound where I live (NYC).
TFN, these days, reminds me of Big Brother in the book 1984. Truth and logic mean nothing; if you repeat it often enough, they think you will fall under their spell and believe that shit they call programming these days.
We were always at war with Baconasia.
Wow, I’d like to see a show about making homemade baby food. That hasn’t been done yet, has it? May sound crazy but more moms are getting into making their own baby food these days instead of doing jarred food. What an excellent idea. Which means TFN will never do it.
Maybe she’s the new (what *is* his name?) “copycat” recipe guy? Check out: Bertolli Dinner For Two Shrimp Scampi and Linguini Frozen Meal… Price locally is about $7 – maybe she just cuts down the portions?
I checked the websites for two national markets (Vons/Safeway and Albertsons/Tru-Value[?]) and shrimp in the 21-25 size was about $15.00 a pound here in SoCal.
We need to put together a time line of all the stories she has told about her mother just to see where it all goes.
OMG more disjointed, mindless spastic yakking, jumping from her mayonnaise-eating husband to >$1 broccoli to freezing onion to nod-to-Mom cheap espresso. 3 trips to the pantry. It’s painful!
WHAT is with her ‘claw’ hands while she describes her food? She looks like a mad scientist!
Ditto Peaches, even in rural NC, (sale) shrimp runs $9-12. BTW, did she devein those?
“Her mom gave birth to her while Melissa was in college??”
Maybe it was beauty college, and Melissa was unduly affected by the chemicals ;)
I love how she plans on giving her kids a double strength coffee for dessert… good luck putting them to bed.
Although, now that she has brought out my hidden shame I can tell the world…. I used to buy all my lemons at Barney’s and Sacks fifth Ave…. I have even been know to fly to florida to get the my lemon fix, fixed…
But watching Super M today, I learned the secret to lemon buying…wait till the are ON SALE!
of course!!… what debbie lee’s green earth was I thinking?!?!
“I love how she plans on giving her kids a double strength coffee for dessert… good luck putting them to bed.”
A little Benadryl in the ice cream would do the trick ;)
I turned this train wreck on today to see if it would put me to sleep for some much needed rest. It probably would’ve worked, except I kept hearing the word “carmelize” over and over, and over again. I counted probably 10 times she said this word in less than 2mins of programming!! Okay, we get it, you’re trying to carmelize EVERYTHING you’re cooking. Aaaacckkk! She finally did put me to sleep though….
I may just be different but I like Melissa. Give the girl a break !
I didn’t think “home-” versus “commercially-” frozen onion works. I think I’ve seen home-frozen onion gets very mushy during thawing.
What was she thinking? Oh, she wasn’t thinking!
She keeps changing her stories. Not that she had that many to begin with.
Last I figured she’s got the bacon in college and her mother is in the freezer.
Her show really does need a major overhaul……..new set, new director, possibly a new host……but it is a metric TON better than “Aunt Sandy’s I Make Up My Own Prices To Suit My Recipes!” It’s suuuuper simple!!
I wish someone or a lemming would push her off a cliff…..:::sighHHH:::: and anthony ice skater dude too! And Sunny with those damn annoying viva commercials….
I’m currently seeing 21-25ct cooked & peeled shrimp on sale for $8.99/lb in my area. Uncooked is usually about $1-2 less, so it’s conceivable that you can get 3/4 lb of shrimp and box of pasta for $7.
@ Neo
I’m kind of insulted by your apparent disbelief that children can drink coffee. I’m from an Italian family and I’ve loved espresso since I was 2. From sucking on Biscotti dipped in it, to full out drinking it black when I was 5.
I think Mellisa’s Scampi looked amazing. While I can’t say for sure that it’s under 10 bucks (probably not), you can’t deny that it didn’t look wonderful.
The dessert looked great as well. I can understand the criticisms of her personality and budget, but her food looks great to me!
I saw Ina Garten make that exact same recipe a few seasons back. The only thing Mel did different was use fettucini instead of linguini.
Ok, I did a little math and here is what I came up with. I am lucky enough to live in a place where shrimp is available fresh pretty much all year long. And when I say fresh, I mean buy fresh from the shrimp boat. So back in late spring/early summer, I went down there and bought twenty pounds of head-on 12/15 shrimp for about a hundred bucks. paying $5 a pound. Of course, when I got them home, I had to dehead them to prepare them for the freezer (I keep them next to my frozen bacon). I calculated the waste from removing said heads was about 20 percent, bringing the cost up to about $6.50 a pound. So, this cost is basically wholesale, ‘direct from the shrimper to you’, not a grocery store marked up frozen product. So how in the hell is she able to add the cost of the linguini, garlic, lemons (I don’t know about you, but I must fly to Italy for my lemons) and the other minor ingredients and still come up with seven bucks. Me thinks she was so wired from drinking all the coffee as a child, she missed the math portion of her lessons at school.
MAybe she is using shrimp imported from China or other Asian countries ? It can be pretty cheap as it contains malachite green , a chemical that prevents infections in the muddy polluted shrimp ponds.
How do you think Red Lobster and Long John Silver can sell you a bucket-O-Shrimp for $8.99 ?
@Byrdie: Thanks for doing the math! Here’s mine. DH and I had scallop & shrimp kabobs on Saturday night because both seafoods were on the weekly specials. Jumbo Sea Scallops @10.99#, Extra Large Shell-on White Shrimp @9.99#.
We got 1/2# of each and ended up with 5 scallops, 7 shrimp. We skewered the seafood with green pepper, red pepper, sweet onion. Nice dinner for two people – about $13, not including wine.
Here’s the link to the market where we get seafood, meats, fresh produce, etc.
http://www.ninosalvaggio.com/
Wow, first we had chicken a l’orange, and now we get shrimp scampi? Melissa really is stuck in Paris circa 1974, isn’t she?
BTW Liz: If you try and caramelize the outside of shrimp (for 3 minutes per side!) and then add them back into a warm sauce to continue cooking, you will wind up with something that approaches the texture of fine Parisian shoe leather. If you absolutely must make shrimp scampi — perhaps the Red Lobster near you shut down for health code reasons? — then do yourself a favor and follow Emeril’s recipe. At least *he* can cook.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse/shrimp-scampi-recipe/index.html
OK first of all to the other LIZ who constantly praises this train wreck pick a new name!!!!!! She sucks and I really hate seeing MY Name next to posts that glorify this suck up lying wanna be….ahhhhhh I feel better now!
@Byrdie: Did you happen to count the number of times that Mel said “carmelized”?
Bothered me as well. Everything was “carmelized” and the shrimp were over cooked. I was a bit afraid of her baked/carmelized broccoli too. Can’t imagine her shrimp skeleton stock tasting yummo either, too thin.
so glad i came across this site. it has totally made my day.
Someone’s seriously “insulted” over Neo’s coffee comment? Either someone is too sensitive and fragile OR someone tosses around words like “insulted” in a very cavalier manner. It would be nice to see people speak with accuracy instead of tossing out ridiculous buzz words to garner attention and seek out sympathy.
Well said, JustaNobody. If you’re offended over that totally benign comment of mine, you need to take a massive chill pill. My point was that Melissa’s stories aren’t adding up. First her mother killed herself when she was young. Then her mother was making her coffee. Then her nanny was raising her. Get your stories straight woman.
Also here in america it is not customary for children to drink coffee. If I saw a 4 year old with a dunkin donuts cup of coffee in his hand, it would be really odd.
Wahoo Willie (crazy name!) – no, I didn’t count “carmelized”. I was too busy trying to keep up with her “my” since she uses it every five seconds. I don’t think she even knows what carmelize means. Between her “carmelize” and “texture” (I still haven’t figured out how linguini adds texture), she just talks to fill the air. When/if she ever returns to the airwaves, I will brave it out, forsake my sanity, and watch yet another episode of “Mommy D, As My Life’s Story Changes” and tally up the ‘carmelize’!
Neo, lest we forget, she was also poor, and then had a nanny (American is great! You can be poor and still have hired help!) and then her mother went to college and then she whacked herself and then she drank coffee.
@ Tatiana: Nice observation of slipping in a little Francais by Mommy LePue, but I have to add this: Missy stated that her hubby loves Mayo and decapods, “it’s a European thing”.
Missy can’t help herself, she NEEDS to remind us she’s cultured via proxy. I can’t think of an appropriate feminine synonym for “douchebag”.
Dank, try ‘le femme sac de douche’
“try ‘le femme sac de douche’”
@Byrdie: LMAO! BTW, I charge $10 a minute for you to clean my monitor and keyboard ;)
CherryRose – sorry! I don’t do Windows…ahahahahahahaa
“CherryRose – sorry! I don’t do Windows…” Neither do I, and I fired my last cleaning lady – just can’t find any good help these days! How about you fix me your finest $10 dinner? I’ll buy the wine :)
Nice, Byrdie, nice, but too polite and sexy sounding for me. I’m truly, which is rare, at a loss for words to describe d’Arabian. I mean I could use some sophomoric terms like “buttplug, twat, dildo, etc.”,but we’re more crafty/less crude than that here at FNH, correct?
Can’t wait for Mrs. Frenchy-French to extoll the virtues of owning a Puegot, Saab, Benz etc….while she cooks her $1.87 foie gras, in her $700k suburban McMansion.
I guess I’ll just call her an “A-hole”.
@CherryRose – I shall make you homemade linguini with shrimp that has NOT been carmelized (since that would turn them to little rubber balls)! Sauv Blanc is nice!! What fun, eh??!!
@Dank – you just go ahead and feel free to let it fly in here about Mommy D! You are amongst friends!
“@CherryRose – I shall make you homemade linguini with shrimp that has NOT been carmelized (since that would turn them to little rubber balls)! Sauv Blanc is nice!! What fun, eh??!!
I’d definitely pass on the “little rubber balls” ;) Please skip the “carmelized” broccoli – yuck! It didn’t look too appetizing. I will bring my favorite SauvBlancs and let you select the one that you’d prefer. Cheers!
Neo–if I saw a child with DD cup, I’d smack the parent for letting them think the crap they serve there could be classified as “coffee” except in a gulag. Back when DD coffee first hit the stores here I thought I HAD to try it. Being from the south, I go to Krispy Kreme for my doughnuts , don’t like DD at all. My husband, a “Maine-ah” told me that it was crap, crap, crap (DD coffee). Well, he finally got something right.
(My fav coffee is Torreffazione Italia Perugia Blend…YUM..and when I don’t have that on hand, I’ll do SBux Gold Coast or Cafe Verona Blends, Sumatra is pretty bangin’ too..k..done with the aside about me no one gives a rip about) :)
Oh DankDillweed, the approrpiate female substitution for “douchebag” is “c_ntbag”. Glad to be of service…:)
I just CARMELIZED my toilet, isn’t it just sooo beautiful.???!!!
Thank you all for helping me with my inadequate vocabulary.
She’s still a douchebag in my mind. Why did Jeffrey lose again?
another baby?
she put the lard in lardons
her husband is french
@ Byrdie & CherryRose, I think Ina should cook her original version of M’Mommy’s Scampi for you, while you sip your wine with your feet up.
Oops…will Ina feed you if you’re not gay?
Dank, I’m planning to CARMELIZE my eyebrows for Halloween.
BTW, diss away on M’Mommy; she deserves all insults. Sorry Liz (Melissa’s BFF)
I’m looking for a voodoo doll so I can stick her in the derriere. That’s french, right?
@ Byrdie & CherryRose, I think Ina should cook her original version of M’Mommy’s Scampi for you, while you sip your wine with your feet up.
You can OH COME ON, too! The more the merrier! Actually, Byrdie and I will get Ina sloshed, and we’ll cook her Shrimp Scampi ;) I will buy only GOOD ingredients and the finest wines. My DH and Jeffrey will clean up the kitchen!
CherryRose, I’m in, I’ll bring the lemons.
I can borrow from M’Mommy’s freezer stash.
Better yet, I’ll fly to Paris and buy some there.
@OH COME ON: Will you spring for some bacon, too? Frozen is alright if that’s all that’s available ;)
@ the other Liz…
This is the first time, to my knowledge, I’ve posted anything about Mellisa… Sorry that I’m not privileged enough to have the same name as you *rolls eyes*
@ CherryRose
You must live in Michigan then. I do as well. My mom actually does a local cooking show so I’m wondering if you’ve ever seen it :)
@ Neo.
I live in America. It may not be customary for you, but like I said, my family is very Italian and we like our coffee black… at young ages. Plus, if you think Dunkin Doughnuts is real coffee, you’re sorely mistaken.
@ Andrew
Obviously the temperature of the skillet/pan is a factor there. I don’t know why else she would cook it that long… Shrimp actually has a fabulous ability to retain moisture… which people don’t realize. When you caramelize shrimp (look up any Vietnamese recipe) you can cook it for longer than normal.
Plus, I like my shrimp tough. I like to chew on it. Those egg-roll baby shrimp that have no chew just don’t do it for me.
To make myself clear:
My issue is with the disbelief that others could live in a manner dissimilar to your own.
So you didn’t drink coffee as a child? Half of Europe does… as well as many Italian-Americans.
You people don’t like your shrimp caramelized? Think it turns them into “rubber balls”? Try SE Asian cuisine where Caramelized shrimp is a common dish.
My original comment wasn’t an attempt to start an argument, but obviously some people have a problem with my liking of Mellisa. She’s a five-star chef compared to Sandra Lee and Ray Ray
Sorry, I’m just reading over the comments and have to add one more detail.
@ Andrew. You remarked about how she cooked her shrimp for 3 minutes on each side. However, her written recipe from Food Network states this:
“Add the shrimp and cook until they turn pink and start to caramelize, about 3 minutes. Remove the shrimp from the pan to a plate and add the remaining marinade”
While the wonderful Ina Garten recommends this in her recipe for shrimp scampi:
“…saute until the shrimp have just turned pink, about 5 minutes, stirring often.”
@CherryRose: Will you spring for some bacon, too? ;)
Do you mean ‘lardons’? Oui Oui?
Liz says: “While the wonderful Ina Garten recommends this in her recipe for shrimp scampi: Saute until the shrimp have just turned pink, about 5 minutes, stirring often.”
In Ina’s defense her recipe lists ‘Large’ shrimp whereas Melissa’s are medium. On her program the shrimp she uses are HUGE, hence the longer cook time.
BTW, Ina’s dish is so good, there is no improving it! Seriously it’s a hit; you should try it sometime.
LIZ: “You must live in Michigan then. I do as well. My mom actually does a local cooking show so I’m wondering if you’ve ever seen it :)”
Metro Detroit. Can’t recall a local cooking show – maybe just some guest chefs on a news program. I mostly watch WDIV (NBC).
Wow. This site sure does get a lot of comments. How long til it gets bought out by Gawker? :)
@ Oh_come_on:
I wasn’t trying to insult Ina. Actually, I cook her scampi allll the time. And you’re right – it’s the best! She’s my favorite FN chef. I was just setting the record straight about how long MDA cooks hers.
@ CherryRose:
What a small world, I live around Detroit too. Do you get the War Memorial channel?
@ CherryRose: What a small world, I live around Detroit too. Do you get the War Memorial channel?
Never heard of it.
Ina’s my current FN favorite, too. I have all of her cookbooks and have made many of her recipes.
Ah, that must be because I live in a suburb off of Detroit. I wasn’t sure how many other places get the channel (channel 5 for me) but yeah. It’s called “Who’s in the Kitchen” and she mainly does appetizers and cocktails.
And yes, isn’t Ina a doll :)
@Liz Since you/I make Ina’s Linguine with Shrimp Scampi allll the time (you too CherryRose), we should’ve tried out on FN, since it seems all you had to do was steal recipes and rename them. We could’ve been the ‘Recipe Smugglers’. We would’ve won of course!
P.S. Bacon-boob M’Mommy doesn’t even belong in the same sentence with Ina, FN royalty.
Roll your eyes all you want biotch…the fact that you do not like Ina says it all…
Thank you Jillian Madison for making my day so special
What the heck other Liz… where did you get that assumption?? I just wrote two posts about how much I love Ina’s cooking and how she’s my favorite FN star.
Someone’s a bit juvenile… or maybe you just need some glasses pronto :)
@Oh Come On: I was going to put this on a Melissa thread but thought it would fit in here with your post about Ina’s Shrimp Scampi and Mommy Dearest.
I could hardly keep from LOL as I shopped today for ingredients to make that French classic from yesteryear: Chicken Divan. I couldn’t help wondering why Mel hasn’t included this in her $10 buck repertoire, but there’s always next season, I suppose.
At any rate, this is the only “casserole” type dish that I make, and it’s usually for others as it is today. A neighbor is having shoulder surgery today, and I thought he might like to have something to eat for the next few days when he can’t be out and about.
I’m sure that Mel would say that she can do Chicken Divan for $10, but it for sure wouldn’t be as good as mine. Gruyere, white cheddar, broccoli crowns (no waste), white wine, and, of course, chicken breasts. I’ll make my own roux, add some chicken broth and freshly ground nutmeg – maybe he’ll wonder, “Hmm. What is that?”
How is it we have 2 posters named Liz?
Will the nice Liz please stand up?
Attention, the two posters named LIZ! These threads are getting awfully confusing. Since there are no dedicated user names on this site at this time, can you guys pleaseeeeee do something to differentiate yourselves? Like maybe add an initial at the end of your name? Or one of you be LIZZZ or something?
Thanks, on behalf of our sanity!
I started drinking coffee at 7 years old. I liked the taste. When I got older I learned what caffeine was and switched to decaf. I can’t drink it now due to it kicking up my reflux. **sad**
My mom had it “light and sweet” (read: lots of cream and LOTS of sugar), I had it “regular” (cream and 2 sugars). Good times.
I am not letting my kid drink coffee. EVAR! [sic]
j/k
I misread the Liz’s post on Ina Sorry about that…I to drank coffee as a child..could be why I am so cranky sometimes…
Not really a Mel supporter, but this is really annoying me.
Melissa was born when her mother was in college.
Melissa’s mother killed herself when Melissa was in college.
moms and college… I can see how you’d all be confused.
Woooh… we got a shout out from Jillian! That’s cool.
And that’s okay ‘the nice other liz’… we all misread stuff. I must admit that I’ve moved onto tea now, to the dismay of my Italian family, haha.
I guess I’m the mean liz then… :( I don’t see why… but okay.
I cannot find any of this years recipes. I wanted today’s (June 20th – 2010) for Carbonade.
I have a hard time trying to find specific recipes from other hosts as well.
I happen to like this show. I think mel. is personable. give her a break. its only her first season.