NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.

Giada De Laurentiis »

Untrue Food Network Rumors: Giada Starring In “There’s Something About Mary 2″
Posted on September 15th 2009 by Jillian Madison

    27 Responses

  1. Sarah says:

    I actually recognize that screen cap! Its from this weekends episode where she prepared thank-you meals to show her appreciation to the people she works with.

  2. Gayle King says:

    I can’t even fathom how much hair spray one would need to have in their hair to allow that to happen.

  3. dan says:

    I’d love to see a pic of Giada before her 41 hour hair and makeup regime.

  4. epic says:

    Gayle, if she’s starring in Something About Mary 2, that’s not hair spray making her hair sticky.

  5. Sarah says:

    Maybe she uses MASS-CAR-PONE-NAAY to jiz things up.

  6. Syd says:

    Jiz things up? Sarah, this is two days in a row that your comments have made me laugh.

  7. Tatiana says:

    Her head really is too big for her body, if she actually has to hold it up in between takes.

  8. Anon says:

    The posts are really lame lately…

  9. Jillian Madison says:

    I’m doing my best, Anon. I’m just one person here and there’s been zero interesting Food Network news over the last 2 weeks.

    As always, if you think you can do better, feel free to send your material to Jill@foodnetworkhumor.com.

  10. neo says:

    here’s the door, anon. please take a moment to feel the swift sting of my foot on your ass.

  11. jenna says:

    I give you credit, Jill. It has to be hard to come up with stuff every day, just to entertain all of us ungrateful bastards! Keep doing what youre doing, I’m still laughing and haven’t stopped since I found FNH all those months ago.

  12. DameJudiWench says:

    I’ve been a blogger for 11 years so trust me when I say not every post is going to be hilarious. Where most mainstream blogs post 2 truly entertaining bits a week, this one posts 5. I commend your efforts. You’ve built one hell of a community here and I hope you don’t listen to the few impossible to please bad apples.
    -DJW

  13. Jules says:

    well i only found this website 4 days ago. and i have been laughing my ass off at the posts. if the older ones are funnier than this, i better pick up some depends before i read any more.

  14. CherryRose says:

    Kudos to Jillian from CherryRose!

  15. CherryRose says:

    @Jules: In addition to the Depends, you might also want to keep a supply of Windex Wipes handy when you spit out your beverage on the monitor screen and/or keyboard.

  16. oh_come_on says:

    Anon sorry you’re having a bad day. The rest of us are happy as clams.

    JILLIAN, you’re fabulously, hilariously wonderful!

  17. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    I just found this site yesterday and have been laughing nonstop for 24 hours. You will also need tissues to wipe the flow of crazy tears. Especially reading the Ina blogs.

  18. CherryRose says:

    I think that I’m actually watching FN more than I was since I found this website. I was bored and bummed with the programming and only watched a few shows regularly. Now, watching FN carp through the discerning eyes/ears of FNH opens up a whole ‘nother world.

  19. Byrdie says:

    Cherry, I’m with you! I wouldn’t even think about FN (except for Ina) if it wasn’t for Jillian and this site. I mean, Mommy Dearest is 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back, but I make sacrifices just for FNH! So, just consider Anon’s comment ‘one in every crowd’.

  20. Anon says:

    I like most of the posts, but lately (this one especially) just didn’t do it for me. Sorry. But it’s not like everybody is going to like every post. (Unless you’re only looking for a cheering section? In that case, sorry I said anything at all.) But anyway, it’s definitely not worth an e-mail “scolding” me for my disapproval.

  21. Jamie says:

    I just finished watching the rerun of Giada’s newest episode. The one with the polenta crusted shrimp on her “hotel menu?” Okay, I couldn’t get over how hideous that olive green top was that she was wearing. Too tight, you know? But then I started REALLY seeing something as she moved around. Girlfriend has a GUT now. Not a baby belly either, but she’s getting fat. Am I a bad person for being so deleriously happy at this prospect? I would love to see her gain like 50 pounds and not be able to lose it.

  22. Gayle King says:

    Jamie, OMG, I noticed Giada’s new belly too. Of course she’s nowhere near being overweight, but seeing that jiggly flesh above her pants made my GF and me smirk. Food Network’s perfect pretty little princess, just as real as the rest of us.

  23. Laurie says:

    @ Jenna: I agree 100%.

    @ Jillian: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: You’re a friggin genius! I personally enjoy ALL of your posts and look forward to them daily (hourly?). There’s no way I could do what you do and you certainly keep a lot of people engaged and entertained.

    @ Anon: Who’s holding the gun to your head?

  24. Jamie says:

    Gayle, I’m so glad someone else saw this too! I know, I was sitting on the couch smirking quite a bit myself. :) I’ve always been irritated by princess, ever since I saw her Chefography program and she blathered on about how she gained a WHOLE 15 pounds when she was in France. Made me want to smack her silly. :)

  25. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    to Jamie…..that episode is from sometime in 2008. I thought it was a baby belly.

  26. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    to Jamie again…..I looked it up. Episode from July 2008, just 3 1/2 months after baby was born. Maybe just leftover baby weight? You’re not bad for being happy about it although I don’t think she’ll ever gain 50 pounds! When you started talking about olive green color I thought it was about that oily, green muck she drizzled over her profiteroles. That was disgusting.

  27. TV Junkie says:

    Love your site, but could you take on HGTV too. They certainly need to lighten up!

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved