Alton Brown, General: Food Network »
Alton Brown’s Iron Chef Wii Character Haunts My Dreams
Published on: October 26, 2009 – 8:57 am by Jillian Madison 
Comment
Last week, I blew the dust off of my Nintendo Wii and finally got around to playing Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine. The result? It’s one of the worst games I’ve ever played in my life. I can look past the fact that it’s a blatant Cooking Mama ripoff. I can even deal with the Chairman constantly screaming in my face like a hungry drill sergeant from the movie Platoon (I SAID CHOP THE ZUCCHINI, YOU USELESS F*#@%!). The real problem with the game is that it looks like the production company spent about $49 making it.
Gaming website Destructiod summed it up nicely: “Instead of using cartoon art or even recorded video, the developers have opted to use some strange clay-looking… things as stand-ins for the Chairman, Alton Brown, and all the Iron Chefs. Instead of moving mouths, their faces deform as they talk and move. At first it’s funny. But then it starts to wear on you, and by the end of a session, you’re cowering in the corner, shivering, doing everything you can to get the Chairman’s chunky clay visage out of your mind.”
The Food Network will be releasing another title, Cook Or Be Cooked, on November 3rd. Stay tuned – we will be playing it and reviewing it here on FNH!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Whoa, Alton Brown Is SKINNY---Dear Alton Brown, The Internet Is Worried About You
---Top 10 Unintentionally Hilarious Photos Of The Iron Chef Chairman
---All Hail Alton Brown: Punchable Genius
---Alton Brown, Upon Finding Someone Drank The Last Of His Welch’s Grape Juice
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten porn, Giada's gone Chinese, a review of Giada's Parmesan Garlic Dipping Sauce, Paranormal Cake Challenge, Down Home with the Neelys and Gina's rude sister, NFNS recap, tons of listener mail, and more!
That’s just flat out frightening.
And I hate zuchinni….
Her Avatar is lacking a red-white and blue bicentennial blouse.
that and a stare that can melt the ice caps…
Why even bother to make this friggin’ game?
just absolutely horrible. I can see no reason whatsoever to play this piece of shit game.
Hey Susie! 1980 something called–It wants its hair back. Oh, and your childhood called asking for it’s simpering girly name back. A professional would call herself Susan Fogelson.
Well, Food Network seems to be good at something: Marketing the SHIT out of itself.
Wow, that looks horrible. That video is both hilarious and frightening, though. I’m not sure why FN would put their name on such a low budget game, though. The graphics are only slightly better than the video games from the mid 80s.
Hey, if you like that, check out their ILoveFoodNetwork website! Owned by Scripps, for Scripps and all the bubbly comments are written by Scripps!
Funniest thing, though…seems some(about 95%) of the posters are not big fans of FN…hmmm…now who would…
Nothing new.Putting their name on just about anything all for the sake of a buck.And copying something already out there. Same as all the “new” TV shows they launch. Greedy as well as unoriginal.
Seems like Fogelson has got the fame whore disease as most other FN participants. Does she think she is some kind of a star or something ?
Maybe this is what made Alton Brown squirrely when he discussed Sandra Lee and the FN afew weeks back.
Re: game – Incredibly half-assed and absurd graphics. Looks like it was developed in the early-80’s on an Apple 2e. Pong had better graphics.
Re: FN marketing – I think in some ways they do a fantastic job. Whatever they’re doing, it obviously works. More and more people with whom I have casual conversations are more and more aware of the shows and personalities. I think their online presence is a joke. (obviously, since we joke about it all the time here)
Re: Trolling ILoveFoodNetwork – I think not cool. There ARE fans of Food Network, gazillions of people who love the network, the shows and the hosts / chefs. I say, let those folks have those websites, and keep the snarks, digs and blatant ludibrium here. JMHO.
The FN fans aren’t flocking to the ILFN site. As a matter of fact, if this site were a valuable outlet for fans, why hasn’t the home page been updated in five days? The prior update was nine days before that. Whoever is in charge of that outlet is either in a coma or doesn’t give a rats behind. Basing the number of ‘fans’ on the number of posters that have positive things to say (oooh, I just love Guy!), the fan base is about 12 people, 2 of which are Doucheman and Susie Cream Cheese. I’ve got no sympathy.
I just viewed I Love FN. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I would imagine a number of those posters don’t know about FNH, poor souls.
@Byrdie, just because the fans aren’t flocking, just because the homepage hasn’t been updated in five or nine days, just because the moderator (if there is one) is in a coma … STILL does not make being a Troll cool. There’s no such thing as a funny or cool Troll.
This is off topic. We can take this to the forums.
Continued in the forums. And Judith, I think some of the posters are well aware of FNH.
I don’t know anything about playing these video games but just looking at these pics would give me nightmares!
Oh my god that video made me almost pee mah self. Chairman’s voice as he reads off those secret ingredients was too much for me, and then to show alienated cancer-ridden malnourished deformed Alton was just the icing on the cake. Oh man, I MUST blow my money on this game, it is worse than anything I have ever seen.
lmao! loved the switch back from the chairman to alton every five seconds xD
I must also say that I own the nintendo ds version of Iron Chef America, I actually completed it and it looks to be much better than this Wii version. Wow is all I can say.
I sent you an email about this game >_<
Let’s give Folgelson a weekend show after after that other chick that nobody likes. Part of my is attracted to Susie, and another part of me wants to slap her with a fish.
Oh. My. God.
I was laughing through the whole thing, but when the chairman started reading the ingredients, I ceased breathing. BOAR! BOAR! BOARR! ZUUUCCHHIINNII!!!
Well, if you need a good laugh I guess Wii’s ICA is the game to play!
Is it just me, or does Alton Brown have cornrows?
I think Susie is HOT!!!! it’s hot in a I cant figure out what race she is!
ZUCCHINNI!!! ZUCCHINNI!!! ZUCCHINNI!!! ZUCCHINNI!!! ZUCCHINNI!!!
Cheep game. It looks like something a student would have done as part of a class project.
@Teague: Hell no…my projects turned out better than this and I’m a first semester college student!
I was laughing so hard at the video I was crying. I absolutly LOVE when the Chairman starts listing the ingredients. And when his eyes are bulging… he looks like my pug! I cannot wait for them to review Cook or be Cooked!!!!
that’s freaky-deeky and funny that alton (smelton brown here) looks way better than he has ever looked in his life including as a child. the dude is seriously fugly.
But can he cook? His talents as a model are not in question. He has never stated he is handsome, nor does he make his living related to his looks. He is a chef. Do you think he has talent in that field? (I’ll give you that he’s a serious nerd.)
Lol I wasn’t going to watch that video but after the comments felt I should. MAN when you are clicking on the ingredients hilarity ensues!