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Bobby Flay Uses A HAND DOUBLE?
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WHO WANTS A HAND JOB!
Not that sort of hand job, you perverts. We’re talking about this Craigslist ad, that was searching for a “hand double” for a “TV network promo with a prominent chef.” They needed a right handed Caucasian male between 5’8″ – 6’1″, with a slim/medium build and strawberry blonde hair.
Hmm, now who does that sound like to you? (Hint: Anne Burrell is not the correct answer.)
These TV chefs are getting lazier and lazier, aren’t they? As it is, they already have the easiest cooking jobs on the planet. They don’t grocery shop. They don’t clean. They don’t even boil their own water (their team of invisible sous chefs, Keebler elves, and food stylists do all that). They just show up, cook something they’ve cooked 100 times before, and then go to the bank to cash their gigantic paychecks.
But now they’re too good to zest their own lemons or stick around for close-up shots? Get over yourselves, guys. You’re not filming the new Batman movie. Your scripts don’t call for you to set your body on fire and walk through an old gas station. The most difficult thing you have to do on a daily basis is breathe the same air as Guy Fieri without vomiting, so as far as we’re concerned, there’s no need for a double of any sort.
So come on, be a sport. Get a manicure. And cut your own damn onions.
(This article written by Jillian Madison’s FNH hand double)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Bobby Flay on Entourage: Part 2---The Worst Bobby Flay “Recipe” Of All Time
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Bobby Flay Acrylic Pitcher
---Bobby Flay: Throwdown v2.0
---Bobby Flay In Drag
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38 Responses
I figure that Rachael Ray will be moving on from FN, but she could have used some boob stand-ins :)
Jillian, if this is legit, I’m officially done with FN, and probably your fine site. Jesus effing Christ, these primadonnas are sickening. Does the FN really think their view-tards are concerned if DandySandy has man-hands? Or Flay’s paws don’t look masculine enough.
Seriously Food Network, suck my hairy balls if you guys think chef’s digits are a prioritry over good programming. Blow me Suzy Cream-twat, and have Tuschdouche clean up my goo from your whorebag face!
I think this is a GOOD idea. Try to catch a glimpse of Bobby’s hands on one of his shows. He has horribly bitten nails. any ad with his real hands in it wouldn’t work.
If he’s got horrible hands, then it has to be done. If it’s just because Flay does not want to stay around for extra shots, then it’s FN fault for pampering the chefs sooooo much!
Where’s George Costanza? I heard that he was still available for this lucrative hand modeling position :)
Is George Costanza available? Loved that episode when he had his dream job as a hand model. However, he lacks Flay’s huge ego.
All true, but Bobby’s fingernails are disgusting. I’ve noticed that they try not to show them close up. Thank GOD.
If his nails are so nasty, then perhaps he’s not qualified to be on television hosting a cooking program. Like the article says, suck it up and get a manicure.
Come on, what does that say about society. That people struggling to keep their job working with their hands. And these image happy MF’s are hiring people to do close up shots of chopping garlic.
So if they are asking the person to be a certain height I figure they might show below the neck shots, so this guy is gonna need a set of man tits too.
True. Might be time to get the man a chest double as well. Or since we’re talking about Seinfeld, one of Kramer’s man bras.
Bro!
Mansiere!
I think FN is becoming rediculouser and rediculouser.
Can we get a hand double for Pauler who doesn’t wear all that jewelry while digging around in food?
With her giant man hands, perhaps Sandra Lee should apply for the job.
WOW! LAME!!
(Unless it’s to keep anyone from having to see those haggard claws up close!)
Fucking A…. I mean… fuh…kin… ayy……
Satire is dead. (FN Part #2291)
Awwww bummer, no Olympics Chicago pizza throw downs for Bobby and his body double. Any recipes for Slap-Down Obama pie?
@Silvio: “this guy is gonna need a set of man tits too”.
LMAO Silvio, good call!
I hereby, and in the grand tradition of “Aunt (hic) Sandy” request that he always be referred to on this board as “Princess Bobbi” if this is found to be true.
Danny Bonaduce Partridge Family’s red head, probably too muscle-y to double for Princess Bobbi?
Excellent moniker DesignerJeans!
Maybe they could hire Carrot-Top?
You think the chef in question might have injured his hand somehow?
Probably not.
Keep your eyes peeled for FAUX PAWS!!
Maybe they need someone without bitten nails, ragged cuticles and orange liver spot-freckle shits all over their hands. Anything FN can do to NOT show Bobby Flay’s real ANYTHING gets a positive vote from me. Now if they would just set him on on fire…
The myth continues. Get somebody who can actually chop and perform ‘hand-wise’ and ol’ Whack-a-Mole Flay gets the credit. Just more proof that FN ain’t about food and cooking, but about image and money.
I guess it doesn’t bother me too much to see chefs’ hands up close and not looking particularly beautiful. Goes with the job territory! I’m not a professional who’s dicing, chopping, mincing, slicing, etc. daily, but I end up with cuts pretty regularly. On Monday, I got a nasty “slice” from heavy duty Reynolds’ Wrap, and last week I got cut on the neck wrap of a wine bottle. I postponed my monthly manicure because I knew that the cuts would hurt or break open again. Ouch! Hmmm…maybe I’ll ask Mr. CherryRose to hire a stunt double so my lovely hands stay that way ;)
I’m sure if Flay did porn, he would need a stand in for his freckle dick too!
Why don’t they just replace Bobby Flay altogether? A hand stand-in isn’t going to cut it. I mean, a full-body stand-in plus a personality stand-in would be more appropriate. But that would = a completely different guy, right?
PS. Gordon Ramsay could use a hand-job, for sure! Ever watch “The ‘F’ Word”? His nails usually have crud underneath ‘em. Gack!
I have a young niece with really elegant hands, always manicured. Maybe she could stand in for Aaron Macargo?
Bobby Flay doing porn ! Definitely a freckled dude. Did you all see those pics of him at this blog when he was a little Lord Fauntleroy freckle dick ?
Would never want to see his unit, freckles or no freckles. I’d put money on him being a cheeser too .
This reminds me of a Seinfeld epi where George’s exquisite hands are discovered…I kid you not, this also happened to a friend of mine, many years ago. She was a model wanna be, and had a classic butter face, but gorgeous hands, and when she was offered a lucrative gig for print modeling rings and bracelets, she was so insulted she turned it down.
LOL- Carrot Top!!
I thought about applying but then got worried about the audition process. I know Bobby likes having his ego stroked and am worried that it doesn’t stop there.
My first thought was actually that this could be a production thing. They’ll usually tape a huge number of shows in a single run at Food Network’s headquarters, and one of their chefs may have an injury, or a wart, or something else that can be covered with makeup for the normal shots but that can’t be shown in close-up. (It wouldn’t matter if it compromised the food itself, as they can just throw it away if it’s unsanitary due to production techniques.)
Or it might be for some new show that’s not about an individual chef. Imagine someone like Ted Allen describing a technique in voice-over that you see happening in montage, but only the hands and food rather than the cook presenting it. (You know, like, “To make the garlic-herb paste, mince two cloves of garlic, then sprinkle kosher salt over the pieces and smear them against the cutting board with the flat blade of your chef’s knife, repeating until you’ve made a paste. Then chop two tablespoons of fresh parsley, and combine with a tablespoon of extra-virgin olive oil and the garlic paste in a small bowl.”) You don’t need to see the actual chef for those techniques.
I guess I’m not yet cynical enough to presume it’s prima-donna behavior or laziness. I could always be wrong, tho!
Bobby probably has permanent grill marks on his pink little paws. I think fresh pink ham hocks would be a great stand-in
maybe bobby’s hands are hairy than lindsay lohan’s crotch, or so riddled with varicose veins that he had to hire the dude or somethin! teehee
I’d like to be Alton Brown’s hand double!!! His show looks like it would be a lot of fun to work on. Plus I would probably learn something about cooking. However somehow I think that AB is quite happy to use his own hands in his shows.
Take a step back, then read these comments again. LOL. We’re all ready to flay Bobby Flay and the FN over a conjecture. The ad didn’t say for what network, station, or person this “hand model” was needed. Look at it as a move to stimulate the economy? The whole thing seems silly to me, especially everyone ready to dump Flay and FN over a cliff for assumptions.
Interesting article though. Never thought of “hand doubles” (save for the Seinfield episode).
We are all conjecturing it is Bobby Flay because BECAUSE he is the only MALE, who also has a medium to thin build and is ~5’10″ tall and is a prominent chef on TV with STRAWBERRY BLONDE Hair. I can’t think of any other. It must be Flay. The “flaying” will continue :)
his nails are vile.
Bobby Flay is missing half a finger, which is probably why Food Network wants to get him a hand-double.