General: Food Network »
Halloween 2009: What Costumes Should The Food Network Cooks Choose?
Published on: October 14, 2009 – 10:57 am by Jillian Madison 
Comment
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---DOUCHEBAG OVERLOAD: The 16 Guy Fieri-est Halloween Costumes---Sandra Lee’s Halloween Costumes: A Photo Journey
---Food Network Has The “Worst Cooks In America”
---Happy Halloween From Food Network Humor!
---So Many Great Giada Shows To Choose From!
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
This is hilarious. Well done, Jillian!
I prefer Ina’s personally, because she’s the only one I watch. The Neelys’ just made me want to gag!
Oh sweet goodness. This might be the post of the year.
The nightmares from this, they will never end…
I always thought of Guy Fieri as a John Belushi type guy, as in Animal House/Blues Brothers.
Inas costume is LOL funny!
As is Rachel Ray- Rays!
IMO, there MUST be more than one worn out joke in Sandra Lee.
What a hoot! Great job, Jillian.
My sister and I will be on a Caribbean cruise the week of 10/25. The final day of the voyage is Halloween – a day at sea during which there will be many themed activities. I bought my costume last weekend and plan to wear it to dinner and the big deck party that night. Sis and I aren’t telling one another what we’re wearing until that evening and promised each other that we wouldn’t peek :)
We will be at “Margaritaville” in Grand Turk on Friday, 10/30 and will toast everyone at FNH at 5:00! How cool is that?
Oh my. The “retired tooters” put me over the edge. lol
RE: Sandra and the alcohol,
I don’t think of it as a worn out joke at all. I consider it a recurring joke. Big difference. Besides, 30% of visitors to this site will see this post and no others — and wonder where the Sandra Lee alcohol joke is.
I can’t please everyone, but I’m trying. :)
and we love ya for it, Jillian!
What a lineup from FN STARS!!
Look, it’s a Ferry Princess! Ya never looked so good…
Ina! The horror of a ‘bad’ egg!
The Kama Sutra Kids should look so skinny.
Holy shit! It’s Rayray!!
And looks like Aunt(hic)(erfpfh)Sandy finally crawled inside the bottle one too many times; and
Duff? No thanks, I’m on a diet…
Amazing. I love this.
No, no, I agree with the Sandra Lee analysis by Jillian. Every time I think about Semi-homemade, I laugh to myself when I picture cocktail time at the end. First of all, of course cocktails are homemade. It’s not as if the other FN hosts are showing you how to brew vodka in your own home. Second of all, watch Sandra’s eyes light up during that segment of the show. I feel like it’s easily her favorite part of the day. Lastly, it never occured to me that “making a cocktail” consisted of taking one bottle of alcohol in one hand and a bottle of juice in the other and emptying them into a pitcher of ice but then again, I guess that’s where the laughs come from. Keep it up Jillian!
Bad egg. That is so funny. And is the birthday cake stripper costume supposed to be funny? Because that thing scared the crap out of me. Kudos agian on making me laugh outloud.
Absolutely super, Jillian and thanks for fixing my avatar!
Mary Alice could accompany Goldman and not even have to wear a costume.
She could go as Chucky’s mother or ditch the glasses and go as Anne of Green Gables, out cruising for love.
Oh no no no…. one (at least this one, points to myself) can never get enough boozed up Sandra (hic) Lee jokes.
Nah.
Gunna.
Happen.
They are funny because they are so damn close to the mark…
What’s next? NOT making fun of Guy Ferry’s douchebag attire?
I’ll bet good money he is wear the same damn outfit style when he is 55.
And I’ll, Designer, that he will not only “wear the same damn outfit” but he won’t bother washing it between now and then.
gak
“all you can jrink for $12!!”
@Byrdie
LOL, his laundry or the greasy stuff in his hair, which does he clean more often?
Ewwwwwww…..
@Designer….double ewwwwwww
By the looks of him, he’s not familiar with either soap or water or shampoo or even flea powder…..
The GUY one well that’s simply disturbing…what was that? Oh my lunch.
But the RR one very funny. And the Neelys well that could be straight out of their photo album and not even related to Halloween.
OMG Jillian, I actually have tears I’m laughing so hard. You do some funny stuff, and this HAS to be in the top 10. Great job, funny shit. I have to let all my foodie friends know about this one.
Jillian just high-lights the “drunk Sandy” more than her other roasts of Semi-Ho. Table-scares, gravity-pulled knockers, “just add Cool-Whip”, “Aunt Sandy”, and a bevy of other jokes are in Ms. Madison’s arsenal. Don’t forget the ever-present “Toe”.
will Ina use “good” mayonnaise in her bad egg salad?
Awesome Jillian!
I would love to See Paula Deen as a huge stick O’Butter!
Jesus! You need to put some kind of warning at the beginning–I scrolled down and saw those Guy-knockers and my lunch almost came up.
I think Ina should be Marie Antoinette. And Giada could be a giant tub of Noo-telllll-a.
Great stuff! But where is Giada? I guess you couldn’t find a costume in the shape of a pencil or spear of asparagus.
Bad egg…very clever!
The Neeleys-just gross!
Giada is always in costume. She is a bobble-head remember?
Melissa should so go as a slab of frozen you know what….. bacon….
Or as Marty Feldman. Remember the eyes…
Oh, the Neeleys was hilarious, too.
Spot on.
Sandra Lee: change the hair color, add a pair of glasses and a dead moose on a spit, and PRESTO: Sarah Palin.
http://www.gop12.com/2009/10/brisk-sales-for-palin-halloween.html
Hey!!! Ina just peeled a butternut squash with a “good” peeler.
@Tatiana – Marty Feldman had the most googley eyes I’d ever seen. Until Mommy D. At least he was funny and talented. Can’t say that about her…
“Ina just peeled a butternut squash with a “good” peeler.”
I’m watching it, too. Odd that Ina would say not to use a vegetable peeler that “you find at a hardware store”. At other times, she’s promoted a an old-fashioned hardware store for cast iron skillets, food mills, etc. Whatever!
Rachael Ray looks like Mr. Hankey.
brb…..dyinnnnn! These are great
OMG…the nightmares I will have. I guess someone beat Fieri to the Summers Eve costume.
Instead of a “Bad Egg” I think Ina should go as “Good Vanilla.” I also think this was one of the funniest postings ever. Thank you Jillian!
Sunny Anderson could be the back end of a donkey or horse, but I’m at a loss for the front end of said animal. Any suggestions?
Wow. Just wow. I keep saying “funniest post yet,” but now I’ll say it again. I’m dying.
I remember that plug-and-socket thing from way back before it actually became a marketed costume (yes, I’m old). Two friends of mine (a couple, of course) actually sewed it and wired it themselves, with light bulbs on their shoulders that lit up when they “inserted.”
These are HI-LARIOUS! But the Guy Fieri one is almost NSFW! I felt almost embarrassed looking at this with my colleagues around earlier today. But great work. And @ CherryRose. I can picture Sunny Anderson as Cousin Itt with one of her scary wigs gone awry!
@ CherryRose. I can picture Sunny Anderson as Cousin Itt with one of her scary wigs gone awry!
Oh, no! Squarebob, with all due respect, Sunny simply cannot be Cousin It! We have a beautiful Weeping Blue Cedar on one side of our front porch that we lovingly refer to as Cousin It. If Sunny dons a really long wig, she could go nekked underneath, ride side saddle on a stallion, and go trick-or-treating as Lady Godiva ;)
God I love this site! This just made my day. Check out Pat’s double dongs…er…prongs and that stupid look on his face! And Jillian, did you photoshop some extra grease onto Fee-Eddy’s face?
My eyes have henceforth been soiled :(
A bottle of tequila that size would only serve as enough for Aunt Sandy to pregame.
Best post ever! LOVE it!!!
The Neelys haven’t been that thin since 6 th grade.
This really made me laugh hard. Great job.
How has this website not been picked up, sponsored, and backed by a major company yet?!? Girl, you are talented and should be getting P-A-I-D.
Hysterical Jill although I can’t stop thinking about what would Giada dress as…..
OMG!!! These are a riot!!
Jillian, you really outdid yourself this time!! WELL DONE!!
They were all hilarious!
Am I the only one who find the Neeleys the most annoying couple on the planet?
Didn’t Rachael wear that dress to some awards show?