NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.

General: Food Humor »

23

Milk Just Got A Whole Lot Safer!
Posted on October 12th 2009 by Jillian Madison

milk-carton


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Rejected Got Milk Ads From Food Network Hosts
---Rejected Got Milk Ads From Food Network Hosts: Part 2

    23 Responses

  1. Martin says:
    October 12, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    As a physician, I applaud the safety message. Children are definitely influenced by the licensed characters they see on products. However I do see how this be viewed as going a bit overboard.

    Reply
  2. NickF says:
    October 12, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Lol at the 5 day difference in the package dates.

    Reply
  3. Di says:
    October 12, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Ha.Cute.Good idea.
    But aren’t her udders also in danger of getting tangled up in the chain?

    Reply
  4. Zach says:
    October 12, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Where exactly is this milk from?

    Reply
  5. Trini says:
    October 12, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    So damn funny. Where do you come up with this stuff?

    Reply
  6. DesignerJeans says:
    October 12, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    I quickly read it as “Clamato”…

    Reply
  7. Cindy says:
    October 12, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    Maito is Finnish for milk

    Reply
  8. Dank Dillweed says:
    October 12, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Great. The next politcally correct version of this box will probably feature a URL link to Planned Parenthood, Al Gore’s website and a reversed-colored female bovine.

    Nah, the package will just tell you “No Animals were Harmed in making this package”, yet they “harvest” this milk with increasingly efficiency.

    Pathetic. Sad people or even sadder cows? Who cares, give me my heavy cream, GOOD cheese, and kill their men, I want my beef.

    Reply
    • Liz says:
      July 16, 2010 at 6:09 pm

      Uh Dank, take your whiny crap somewhere else. This isn’t a political statement. Plus your comment made only a sliver of sense.

      I’m a Republican as well, but come on! I haaateee Conservatives like you that take every opportunity to cry about political correctness. Chill.

      Reply
  9. Kenneth says:
    October 12, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Phew, thank goodness.

    Reply
  10. oh_come_on says:
    October 13, 2009 at 12:15 am

    @Zach, Helsinki, Finland.

    Aren’t they HUGE cheese importers?

    Maybe little moo’s helmet should be Gouda.

    Reply
  11. a says:
    October 13, 2009 at 3:42 am

    i didn’t realize people still bought cartons of milk. lol.

    Reply
  12. Byrdie says:
    October 13, 2009 at 8:23 am

    That is just utterly ridiculous.

    Reply
  13. Deen says:
    October 13, 2009 at 8:50 am

    lol @ Byrdie – I was waiting for that one.

    Reply
  14. Brown Sugar says:
    October 13, 2009 at 9:15 am

    Thank goodness! I’ve been worried sick about that cow.

    Reply
  15. CherryRose says:
    October 13, 2009 at 9:16 am

    Mini-Moo is adorable, but she really should wear a sports bra when she’s riding her bike :)

    Reply
  16. Betty Crocker says:
    October 13, 2009 at 9:32 am

    I’m more worried about her udders getting caught in the pedals. Yikes.

    Reply
  17. FootLongSausage says:
    October 13, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Oh, sure she’s wearing a helmet now, but what about SHOES?
    And maybe a skirt or some pants?

    Reply
  18. GingerBeagle says:
    October 13, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    One hoof slips off the pedals….and it’s an udder disaster.

    Reply
  19. Princess Crazypants says:
    October 17, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    “But aren’t her udders also in danger of getting tangled up in the chain?”

    Cows only have ONE udder. I think you may be referring to the teats, which are on the udder.

    The cow is missing knee pads and elbow pads.

    Reply
  20. Monday, bloody monday 118 says:
    November 29, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    [...] Sikkerhet er viktig, denne melka viser det ganske tydelig. Dette er ansvarlig markedsføring, får man [...]

    Reply
  21. josh says:
    April 6, 2010 at 5:18 am

    why do you all care so much about it? if that milk subliminally influences children to wear a helmet when they ride a bike it’s a good thing!! I cycle regularly and I never used to wear a helmet I have recntley started to and I regret never wearing one. How did this milk spark so much rage in a bunch of sad internet users?

    Reply
  22. Nora says:
    August 5, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    My fears about that helmetless cow are now gone. I can breathe again.

    Reply

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved