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Sandra Lee’s Halloween Costumes: A Photo Journey
Published on: October 21, 2009 – 10:17 am by Jillian Madison 
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Many of you wrote in asking if there will be a new Semi-Homemade Halloween special this year. Sadly, there won’t be. So, to help ease the pain of a Sandra Lee-less Halloween, I’ve taken the liberty of compiling every costume Sandra Lee has ever worn on the Food Network (all 18 of ‘em). As it turns out, some of them are scarier than a Clive Barker film:
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Madonna
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: Madonna showing off the cheap new suit she just bought at Dress Barn
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Cher
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A rejected showgirl just dying to share her super super simple cleavage-enhancing techniques
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Marilyn Monroe
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: 2nd runner up on DRAG NIGHT at a gay bar
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Liza Minnelli
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: Elvira, upon returning home from Supercuts
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: An Egyptian
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A drunk, homeless Egyptian
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Fairy godmother
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A slutty girl on prom night circa 1982
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: The farmer’s daughter
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A cheap one night stand for either Bo or Luke Duke
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: A sugar plum fairy
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A beer wench at an old western saloon
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: A sorceress
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A crazy woman with a rhinestone problem and a bat infestation
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: A slutty French maid
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A slutty french maid (too easy)
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Vivien Leigh from Gone With The Wind
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A woman wearing an outfit that SHOULD have been gone with the wind. Alternatively, the Lucky Charms mascot upon graduating from high school.
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A scarecrow in an old corn field
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Barbra Streisand
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: Barbra Streisand in a black Hefty garbage bag and a necklace made of tin foil
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Anne Boleyn
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: The Burger King mascot’s 5th wife
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Guinevere
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: A woman moments before donating her hair to Locks Of Love
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Marie Antoinette
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: Dolly Parton after surviving a horrific peacock attack
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: Queen Elizabeth
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: Tilda Swinton’s corpse
WHO SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE: A scary witch
WHAT SHE ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE: HERSELF
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Halloween 2009: What Costumes Should The Food Network Cooks Choose?---DOUCHEBAG OVERLOAD: The 16 Guy Fieri-est Halloween Costumes
---The Sandra Lee Pumpkin
---6 Creepy Halloween Meatloafs
---Photo: Sandra Lee’s Eyebrows Missing In Action
No wonder this woman has become a gay icon.
Ho. Ly. Shit.
I don’t understand why she has had SO MANY costumes; she hasn’t been around for that many Halloweens. Is she dressing up for the hell of it?
Oh wow!
I noticed that of her choices, she chose several women whose fate was being beheaded.
I’m just saying….
She doesn’t half-ass it with the costumes, does she? Bitch goes all OUT!!
I think she pulled off Barbra. But, I loved your comments on what she really looked like. Several LOLZ.
No new costume this year? I’m heartbroken!
These are hilarious! In the farmer’s daughter one, she looks like Paris Hilton though…and not in a good way. Considering Paris is pretty hideous.
Elvira after Super Cuts! RTFLMAO!!!
Man, I ♥ this place.
CT: “I don’t understand why she has had SO MANY costumes..”
She changes multiple times during the show. You can tell by the semi-ridiculous decor. Wonder how long to shoot this?
Queen Elizabeth needs to belly up for a Queen Elizabeth cocktail-vermouth/benedictine/lime juice.
Not sure Barbra could even drink a cocktail with that bill.
Tilda Swinton is rolling in her grave in offense to this commentary.
Hahahahaha….
OMG, I love the Liza/Elvira after Super cuts!!
fyi, Tilda ain’t dead, but she might drop dead after seeing Aunt Sandy’s “tribute” costume!!
The Vivien Leigh costume is especially hideous; it looks nothing like the GWTW beauty. I would never have guessed who she was trying to be. Fiddle-dee-dee.
Oh, this just made my whole day! Aunt Sandy is scary.
Today’s episode of Semi-Ho is one of the Halloween shows. don’t know which cosutme but it’s from 2004 – maybe Cher?
She actually looks more like Tori Spelling than Marilyn Monroe. And did she ACTUALLY put something on the end of her nose for Barbara? Wow…
These are friggin HILARIOUS! These just made my shitty day better.
Jillian, you made my day, as always, with your PERFECT commentary on these photos.
Will someone please pour me a glass of Vodka? I don’t even drink the stuff but absolutely have to do something to get these ridiculous images out of my brain.
Awesome post, Jillian!
The term Holiday Drunk comes to mind
I think the Gone with Wind costume is Sandra’s attempt to parody the Carol Burnett skit in which she plays Scarlett and used the curtains to quickly make an outfit. Then she says something like, “Oh, this is just something I saw in the window and had to have…”
scarlett did use the curtains…for real come on its not just a parody its a classic
@Russion Would have worked better if she kept in the curtain rod, ala Carol Burnett!
still, what hideous costumes! And this woman is PAID to be on this network??? Where do I sign up??
Semi-out-of-her-mind indeed.
Great work on this!
Wow! so interesting! Thank goodness for people like her that entertain us :_)
Exactly, Rocks67. Without the curtain rod, that is a total FAIL.
She is on right now (2pm) wearing the last costume pic. Her phone rings and says it’s her hubby. She actually answers the phone… when did she get married?
Rocks67 and Syd – forgot about the rod- good point! And I totally agree. (Would have been even better with Harvey Korman…may he RIP…)
@Foodiefav- I think that’s an older show and she was married at the time to the guy from KB homes.
The captions are just too funny. Great work.
I thought maybe she was married to the guy in the 10th picture.
Byrdie, that’s actually Douche Florence as Frankenstein in the 10th picture. Not that much of a stretch from reality, if you think about it.
OMG! Jillian! Are you kidding me? He looks so thin in that picture I never would have thought…LMFAO!!
LOLOL
THIS IS HILARIOUS.
Love the Lucky Charms one omg
Ridiculously funny stuff. God, that woman must have a mental disorder.
from today’s episode dressed up as a witch…”this drink is going to be so pretty because it looks like green swamp water.”
wtf?
@FoodieFav I think her hubby was calling to tell her he wanted a divorce.
and why does she keep her cell phone in a drawer in the kitchen? who else does that?
good grief this show gets cheaper and cheaper every week next year this show is gonna be the lowest rated show on foodnetwork trust me.
@FoodieFav “I think her hubby was calling to tell her he wanted a divorce.”
LMAO!! and OUCH!!
and why does she keep her cell phone in a drawer in the kitchen? who else does that?
LOL! That’s what i thought. She wants nothing to come btwn her and her vodka.
*shakes head*
You know, she misses the whole point of Halloween – you’re supposed to make yourself look hideous or scary or dead or funny – but she uses the holiday ever time to sex herself up, flaunt the boobage, etc.
Funny stuff – the Burger King mascot’s wife heh.
Tyler should have {accidentally} pushed her down the steps ;)
Just saw this post. Maybe it’s fatigue (it’s beem a long day) but the only thing coming to mind is “What a self-obsessed a-hole!” Is she insane? Does this crazy drunk-ass bitch really think people are genuinely interested in watching her play dress-up in her shitty costumes? Look, I have a costume suggestion for you, Aunt Sandy. Why don’t you put on some furry labia-loooking sleeves and paint your head like a pink knob. I bet there’ll be zero misses in the “guess who I am” segment of your crappy show!
Thanks for the nightmares Jillian.
Like a drunk bitch, buzzed for the very first time
Like a drunk bitch, with that vodka, in my blood~, oh-eight oh-eight oh-eight~
HOLY BALLS IS SHE WEARING A FAKE NOSE IN THE “BAABWAA” COSTUME?! WOW…
Good one Sooper!!!!
This is horrifying yet somehow inspired. Sandra Lee was made for Halloween…
This great! I have to think of a costume for a Halloween party. LOL maybe I should go as Sandra Lee! Might be the scariest costume at the party.
@ SOOPER SOOPER SIMPUHL
Believe me, it isn’t her very first time…and hasn’t been for the last 30 years.
Jillian, these were grrrrrrrrrreat!!!!
Oh, the horror.
But thank you Jillian, now I know who I’m going to be for halloween: Sandra Lee, the scariest woman I know!
Some needs to check that Sandra Lee isn’t a dude because all those costumes look like something out of a gay Halloween Costume Party.
Kevin, I have thought the same thing for a long time – Aunt Sandy just makes the best drag queen. Even better than the 6′4″ Doris Day look alike that cuts my hair.
I could tell ol’ Frankie was Tyler. Can’t you tell by the extraordinarily LARGE HEAD on him??? LMAO!!!
I saw this ep yesterday and nearly guffawed several times. The phone call, “ANSWERING” IT, pretending to talk to her “husband,” putting it in the drawer, those sleeves on that dress, the reference to her likely gay friend (”Faaab-ulous!”). Too, too much. Just. Too. Much.
I like the Liza look. And of course the slutty French maid.
Even though I’m not gay.
I’d buy the girl a drink or four.
Hands down, one of THE funniest things I’ve seen lately. God I LOVE FNH! :-)
I’ll admit, I think she does a semi-good job of dressing up as celebrities, though there are some total misses, like the Vivien Leigh costume. But why can she not wear a bra like ever? I can’t speak for all these celebrities, but I know Madonna or Cher would not be caught dead with their ladies halfway down their waist!
In that sugar plum fairy costume she looks like a wild west hooker..lol!
Before reading the caption, I thought the Gone with the wind costume was a Robin Hood costume.
Haha, oh gosh, I’m dying. I can’t believe anyone actually thought those costumes were a good idea to put on her. XDDD
I saw the fairy godmother episode this morning… or about 30 seconds of it. I had to turn it! Her “bosoms” were SO distracting and it seemed as if she was bending over purposely to show them off… ick!
I cannot believe how rude you people are. On the other hand, according to God’s plan more people like you will surface before the end of time.
Is Lorri pronounced Lorry?
I think it’s pronounced “Bitch”
How many of you have your own show?
I’m assuming you do?
She’s showing her hands off in almost every screen shot. Is this her version of Ina Garten’s “clean hands?” Maybe it’s because she’s emphatically describing what a dipshit she appears to be.
AHHHH! the Madonna one is on right now. It’s like watching a bad train wreck…you know it’s so bad, but you just can’t turn away. She must have come up with these costume ideas on her 9th bottle of vodka!
Shamdra’s people finally explained that she needs to quit wearing flowing sleeves when she’s near the stove. Too bad, she finally got the message. Would have made for a helluva “career finale” to see her go up in flames along with her make believe food. One less hack on TVFN.
Semi-Sicko
Liza Minelli??? I think she looks like the mother of those Kardashian tramps.