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The Most Ridiculous Wall Street Journal Article Ever [Rockstar Chefs]
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Here at FNH, we’re not being paid by anyone. We’re not owned by a big media conglomerate, we don’t have to answer to a team of editors, and we don’t interview celebrities… which means we don’t have to kiss anyone’s ass… which means we can bring a level of realism and honesty to the table that these bigger media outlets can’t.
And more importantly, it means we can call Katy McLaughlin at the Wall Street Journal out for writing one of the most ridiculous foodie articles in the history of journalism.
To summarize, the article is about pathetic people who blindly – and obsessively – worship TV chefs, and in turn, the hoops these chefs jump through to take as much money from them as they can. Each paragraph of Ms. McLaughlin’s article was more disheartening than the last; when I wasn’t laughing out loud at the sheer stupidity of some of the foodies mentioned, I was thinking of ways I could kill myself so I’d never have to hear a bona fide journalist refer to mediocre Food Network personalities as “rock star chefs” ever again. (“Rock star” my ass! Fieri is not even filling tiny arenas! Come talk to me when he sells out Madison Square Garden.)
Judging by the hundreds of e-mails FNH received about this WSJ article, it’s clear many of you felt the same way. Seriously, WSJ, if you think Fieri is a “rockstar”, you need to get out more. And just for the record, there’s nothing newsworthy about Guy Fieri getting touring advice from AC/DC. The whole concept is laughable.
In case you don’t have 4 hours to read the aforementioned (and entirely too long) WSJ article, here are the 5 most gag-inducing parts:
1. “Mr. Fieri says he realized he could take his show on the road last February while performing for free at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival. When Mr. Fieri’s blender malfunctioned, he improvised by stirring a frozen margarita vigorously with a pair of tongs—generating wild applause. A team of William Morris talent agents attending Mr. Fieri’s performance took notice. “People were standing on their chairs, screaming,” says Michele Bernstein, an agent who usually works with acts such as Nine Inch Nails and Pearl Jam. Returning to her office, she began calling theater owners and event promoters.
Dear God, that’s just sad. If the sight of Fieri stirring a beverage with tongs gets you that worked up, run – don’t walk – to your local trailer park drug store and purchase every condom you see. You are simply not meant to breed. (That goes for you too, Michele Bernstein, you clueless twit.)
2. “Deeana Healy, of Monte Sereno, Calif., paid about $2,000 last year to go on a “Paula Cookin’ at Sea” cruise. Ms. Healy’s special wristband allowed her into areas of the ship where Ms. Deen attended cocktail parties, spoke on stage and signed cookbooks. Since getting to know Ms. Deen and her family on the cruise, “my heart aches when I watch [Ms. Deen's] show,” Ms. Healy says. “I feel like I’m watching family.”
Get over it, Deeana. You’re not watching family. You’re watching a group of strangers who wouldn’t choose to eat a meal with you if they had a gun held to their heads. (And just so you know, hearts usually ache after eating one of Paula Deen’s dinners.)
3. “Lisa Hechesky, a 36-year-old library associate in Nitro, W.Va., has spent more than $1,000 on hotel stays and tickets to see chef Alton Brown perform six times … Each August for the past three years, Ms. Hechesky has gone to the Gaylord Opryland Hotel & Convention Center in Nashville, Tenn., and paid about $300 for a package that includes a night’s stay in the hotel and a cooking demonstration by Mr. Brown … At a recent performance in Atlanta, she says, Mr. Brown told her he remembered her.”
Whatever. I’m sure all Alton “remembered” was to double-lock his hotel door that night.
4. “…several industry insiders said that even top food talent rarely makes more than $10,000 to $20,000 per episode…”
Those poor, poor chefs. I can almost hear Anthony Bourdain’s fiddle from here.
5. “Last week, as Mr. Fieri gave a cooking demonstration at the Turning Stone Casino in Verona, N.Y., a fan threw a bra onto the stage. “I looked around and saw that the crowd went wild and I thought, ‘Wow. This is rock ‘n’ roll,’ ” Mr. Fieri says.”
The WSJ article conveniently forgot to mention that it was a SENIOR CITIZEN who threw the bra on stage. Yeah, that’s rock ‘n roll all right… if you’re Andy Rooney.
Keep living the dream, Fieri. Keep living the dream.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Guy Fieri vs A Rock---South Park Versions Of Food Network Chefs
---Anne Burrell’s “Cook Like A Rockstar” Now Available
---The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game
---South Park Finale Will Feature Food Network Chefs
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59 Responses
At a recent back yard bbq with a few friends, I had been stirring mixed drinks with a hard plastic straw. Next time around, I misplaced the straw so I vigorously stirred the next drink with my finger. This generating wild applause. NOT!!!!
So glad you acknowledged this WSJ article. I read it last week and it annoyed me. I think you nailed the fact that these chefs are just exploiting as many people as possible, to scarf up as much money as possible.
The woman who said her “heart ached” when she saw Paula and family on TV needs therapy!!!!!
LOL I agree with Eyeris. Also, what about that poor poor woman who stalks, I mean follows, Alton Brown! I bet it was like the highlight of her life when he said he remembered her. I bet he didn’t.
What the hell does a library assistant do anyway? Clearly not enough if they have time to stalk Alton Brown. I fairly certain this woman is not married.
And thinking Paula Deen is family. would brag about that one. Ms. Healy should aim higher in her imaginative gene pool, a table leg or an apple perhaps? Each more intelligent and useful than the Deens.
Guy Fieri is to rockstar as
John Gotti is to the Pope
@ Alexis-I’m fairly certain Alton would remember someone like her…and informed security.
Oh my…Guy specified in his contract that his ‘dressing room’ must be stocked with PBR. Damn, can he be any trashier?
Does Fieri really have PBR written in his list of demands? My god, does he roll to these events in his 1984 Camero listening to .38 special? I bet his spikes his lame hair up with a pork chop.
Whew!!! I don’t feel NEARLY as lame for spending close to $1,000 to see Fleetwood Mac twice one summer.
Jillian missed this part:
“Tickets cost $25 to $200, which buys a reception with the chefs and a taste of food made with their recipes but prepared by Johnson & Wales University culinary students and an instructor. The chefs’ fees range from $35,000 to $50,000 per appearance, says the center’s executive vice president, Scott Shiller.”
This, in my opinion, heaps insult onto an already high pile of bullcrap. I am a graduate of Johnson & Wales, and I will tell you exactly what those students do: EVERYTHING. All the mise en place, all the mopping up and all the dishes,oh and they cook too. “Good for them,” you might say. In a way, yes, good for them, it’s good experience. My problem is how these kids get sold a bill of goods, and a schmuck like Fieri drives off in his Clown Car.
My problem is this: the kids don’t get paid. Not only do they not get paid, they are already paying to be in school, and doing a gig like this doesn’t even earn them any credit. These are all volunteer kids with stars in their eyes — “Wow, I’ll get to work with Emeril!” BZZZ! Nope! They are supervised by a chef-instructor and maybe, maybe at some point one of the celeb chefs will walk in and say thanks. Is it good experience? Yes. Can they brag about it? Yes. Is it all that it’s cracked up to be? No way. And who is pocketing all that friggin’ money? DBags like Fieri. ‘Nuff said.
don’t feel bad, Syd. Food Network chefs never were, and never will be, in the same league as Fleetwood Mac! Completely different ballgame.
Gourmet has ceased to be but these idiots just keep going.
I’ve been amazed time and again by the passionate fanaticism of foodies for their celebs.
They make rockstar groupies seem passive in comparison.
I talked to this chick at the NY food fest last year: she was hyper-crazy for Fieri, knew all this trivia about him, she was very vocal about her dislike of Rachael’s most recent haircut (because how RR styles her hair is of the utmost importance, naturally), and she already had the address of Paula’s hotel so she could wait outside for a pic & autograph. Totally unreal.
This country is pretty fucked up. Not just the no talent asshats at Food Network, but reality TV in general. Where are our priorities ?
For anyone to idolize that midget Fee-Eddy shows weakness and draws disdain from people more on solid footing.
.38 Special would not allow Fee-Eddi to become their fan.They’d ban the little fucker or call him out for being a uncool douchebag.
Screw milk…
Got Stalkers?
Who cares if people want to spend a little bit of money seeing the chefs they like. I think a lot of people on this site would consider the Alton Brown deal. I don’t see a thing wrong with it…except for the going crazy for Fieri.
Considering the source (WSJ), this sort of article does not come as a complete surprise to me.
At any rate, another excellent entry here at FNH, Jillian. Not sure I have the stomach to read the whole article, but I did enjoy the highlights and commentary you posted. Keep up the good work!
That crazy lady stalking poor Alton should know that Mr. Brown is happily married with children I believe and that it does her no good if she can’t go to eharmony instead of harrassing the man.
Damn shame about Gourmet Magazine. But we still have Bon Appetit as well as Cooks’ Illustrated which I highly recommend since it’s run by the always smart and affable Christopher Kimball.
Not to change the topic, I saw the Next Iron Chef last night and it SUCKS! Worse was the judging. The judges should have been expert cooks not faceless twits or holier than thou s**theads like Jeffrey Steingarten who has probably never stepped in a cooking school and thinks they know about what a chef’s life is all about. I’ll tape it though and watch it later every Sunday, because Football in prime time is more important than which Loser/Winner will be tricked to become the next Iron Chef.
@Sarah- Very well put. I just read the article and the comments. Stalker girl was one that acutally commented on being mentioned. I can’t help but wonder if she has posters of AB hanging on her wall. But anyone that fawns over Guy Ferry needs to have a medical exam. YUCK.
Wow, what a ridiculous article! Thanks for pointing it out. What I watched over the weekend that I’m reminded of here is “Capitalism: A Love Story.” Profit motive, folks, that’s what the FN is all about. And if they can attract people who will actually pay a bunch of money to swoon over Fieri, then they’re doin’ it right. A freaking cruise with Paula Deen? My idea of hell.
Of COURSE there were people screaming at Fieri’s gig – they were screaming for his head on a platter. Weren’t they?
The Paula Deen fan must be missing the glaringly obvious: Paula was paid to spend time with hers and others. Paula didn’t do this of her own accord, on a vacation of her own, out with family. Not like she was on vacation to wherever and said, “Hey ya’ll! Come on over and hang out with my family!” (I’m not saying she would or wouldn’t do that, I’m just saying, she was PAID to be hostess to everyone). At least Pauler was gracious.
There used to be this nut on another food site I was on who was from W VA and she was an Alton fantaic, down to buying used canisters on Ebay that match the ones shown on Good Eats.
If FERRY is a rockstar, I’m Kate Moss or Giselle.
The account of the students that do ALL the work and the fees the “stars” collect to show up and stir a spoon is sickening. Ah, capitalism at it’s best? Well, to each their own I suppose.
What had the tongs been used for before Guy Fairy dunked them in the margarita?
This seems like an article that Candus would write… YAY!
@Dan
” I think you nailed the fact that these chefs are just exploiting as many people as possible, to scarf up as much money as possible. ”
And it’s such damn easy pickings – they line up, beg, to turn over their $$ and possibly get to touch the hem of their garment. But, no different from Hollywood/rock’n'roll celebrities. Except the chefs probably have a somewhat older demographic. Ladies throwing Depends on stage instead of panties ;)
Oh well it fills a need, I guess. Escapist fun.
But wow some of these food groupies (froupies?groodies?) do seem to be more than a tad delusional.
Security!
“Mellisa! Melissa! tell me more stories about Paris!!! and your husband!!!” — Designer Jeans just before throwing frozen bacon on the stage.
You know what??!! I have the answers for all five of those instances and perhaps why the WSJ (really, WSJ??!!) writer wrote that article…
1. Drunk
2. Even Drunker
3. Drunker than Tanya Harding on a Saturday night.
4. Shit-Faced
5. More shit-faced than Sandra Lee at a party hosted by Anthony Bourdain!
@DI…LOL love “froupies”
And I will no longer read the WSJ. It’s bad enough CNN barely covers anything apart from celbe news. Never sure if I’m watching CNN anymore or the PerezeHilton channel. But now the WSJ? Gawd, when will it stop? (Yeah, I know, not until we stop eating it up like a pig in fresh s_it.)
Heh, I think I figured out why these people are hailed as gods, I just got off a 6 week coding gig in a very remote City. After dining at things as Perkins, Village Kitchun and a few steak houses where they serve Hollandaise on steak I guess this is culinary epic moments.
If I have another egg-beaters pancake with cheese from a tube littered with pork fragments pressed into a patty I think I’ll kill someone.
@Alex
Yay!
Should we name these people chef-stalkers? If you qualify as a chef-stalker you really need a life.
An article about Food Network’s “stars” in the Wall Street Journal? What has this world come to?
No, Fieri, that’s not rock and roll, that’s someone telling you that you need some lift and separation for your sweaty moobs.
Sadly the Wall Street Journal has lowered their standards by allowing such an idiotic article to be published.
Scrambling for content and competing in the new media.
Journalistic standards are going south along with people that buy tickets to see The Bleached Hedgehog and Pauler Deen.
Ferry stirring the margarita with tongs: my mind immediately wandered to National Lampoon’s ‘Vacation’, where at the Cousin Eddie farm, his daughter stuck her arm up to her elbow in the pitcher of Kool-Aid to give it a big stir. MMMM!!
I feel the same as Deeanna when she is quoted as saying “my heart aches when I watch [Ms. Deen's] show,” except that it’s because the bar has been lowered so far down on the ground, a worm couldn’t do the ‘limbo’ under it.
Truly, the WSJ has hit rock bottom. But then don’t they compete with the NY Times? And isn’t it the Times that makes shit up when the truth doesn’t meet their needs??
Expanding their celebrity, shamelessly.
Will the Guy-Palooza include his performing in a tank top? That’s enough to keep me away. Guy’s style seems more like Gallagher’s sledge-o-matic. Mess everywhere!
LOL, Byrdie!! O/T, but did you know that Jane Krakowski played Vicki? I only learned that recently.
Remember this?
Sorry. Back to regular programming.
Why can’t people just enjoy their favorite celebs without actually ordering their lives around them? Are their lives really THAT empty? You know, it might almost be worth attending Fee-etti’s show just to toss an old corset and a pair of giant bloomers on stage just to show him how much of a rock star he truly is.
For what it is worth, I’m Lisa the Alton Brown fan some of you want to pick apart. I’m a reader here as well, have been for awhile.
I have to say, I’m not surprised that some here have decided to make fun of me for going to see Alton. Thanks for not dissappointing!
Sorry, Lisa/Mise en Place. If it’s any consolation, Alton is probably the most worthy-to-follow on the Food Network! :)
Wait, what happened to Gourmet? (I know it’s OT, but several people mentioned it upthread.) I just renewed my magazine subscription with them, on the phone, a mere two weeks ago. And I haven’t heard a peep from them, even though I’m also subscribed to their e-mail newsletters. Did they go under?
@Squarebob Spongepants I don’t think you posted anything that requires an apology, but thanks just the same.
Never mind my previous comment; I just found out about Gourmet. What a bummer. I love Ruth Reichl; wonder what she will do now. I’ll start a thread over in the forums about it.
@Mise en place Lisa, “I’m Lisa the Alton Brown fan…”
I’d go see Alton too Lisa, maybe not over and over, but knock yourself out. Instead of getting your nose out of joint why don’t you tell us what it was like to meet him? IMO he’s ‘normal’ as compared to other FN’s chefs.
Lisa – it’s a shame you got caught up in the whirlwind aftermath of that WSJ article. I apologize if any of the comments on FNH offended you. I do echo Oh_Come_on’s sentiments though. What’s the man really like?
@Mise En Place, no worries, hon. At least, not for my part. As long as you aren’t standing outside AB’s hotel, waiting for a pic & autograph, you’re a great fan … NOT a fanatic. And fans are what make celebrities. I mean, if it weren’t for fans, Good Eats wouldn’t have lasted 10 years, would it have!
@Jillian, “What’s the man really like?” you mean before? or after he started drinking the FNH Kool-Aid?
*giggling*
I was just shocked with the name calling–crazy, stalker–with some of the comments, when all I did was attend some of his events. When I talk about why I like Alton, I always say because he has taught me more about cooking and food than anyone. And I enjoy spreading my enthusiasm! I was flattered to be contacted by the WSJ reporter.
The statement I made about Alton remembering was the honest truth. I walked up to him at the last event (the Good Eats 10th Anniversary show) and he said, hey how are you (or something like that) instead of introducing himself as per usual. I asked him if that meant he remembered me this time, joking with him. And he said of course I do. We talked about something from my previous meeting with him and that’s when I knew he did remember me.
There’s no celebrity/star with him. When you come up and get your book (or whatever) signed he takes the time to talk with you and it is a real conversation. One time he even asked me about my job and thought it was cool I worked in a library. We talked about that for awhile and it was strange because I wanted to talk with him and he ended up asking me questions!
He is a genuinely good man.
That was pretty classy of you to apologize Jillian, especially mostly for stuff you didnt even write. I don’t know many people who would have done that. Carry on.
(Because of recent events with Michelin guide in the states and social network sites) This might be irrelevant what I want to say.
In Europe, the Michelin guide is seen as the one true un biased Food bible, WHY ? Because the Michelin inspector remains completely anonymous and a restaurant will never know he / she has been.
Other Food critics and food journalists succumb to the “hospitality” laid on to them in return for favourable articles, well it looks like this journalist got both wrong and proves a point in subtelty
Wow, Mise en Place (Lisa), sounds like that WSJ writer did a profoundly bad job of reporting (even worse than what was already evident in her article) and totally took your comments out of context. Years ago when I was a reporter, my editor would have totally chewed me out for something like that. Sorry that happened to you (and I like Alton, too).
I can’t say I’m surprised, though–I can’t bear to read the WSJ anymore (not that I ever found it that great). It’s really gone downhill, and I totally lost respect for them after they published that horrible op-ed a little while back by the founder/CEO of Whole Foods, who wrote a ridiculous, self-centered diatribe against public healthcare reform. (But that’s venturing off-topic, of course.)
Anyway, back on topic, I think that reporter owes you an apology (as well as to the rest of us who endured the misery of reading that piece of crap).
I did find it odd of all the things we talked about in the interview, I talked about the items I’ve been inspired to make because of watching Alton, why I enjoy his shows so much and why I go back to his events, she decided to ask did he remember me and put that in the article.
Going to see Alton is different each time. He doesn’t put on the same show twice even if the subject is the same.
Yes, Miseenplace, it’s because the author of the WSJ article had an agenda. She was exploiting you and trying to spin the article to make Food Network fans seem like obsessed creeps. That’s what reporters do.
Oh no! Guy is literally doing his “rockstar episode” right now!
@ Gayle King — I use to be a journalist and I would have never done that someone… naive to think someone would do that to me. Guess that’s why I’m not working in the journalism field anymore. LOL
I don’t know what your definition of “rock star” is, but pretty much anybody on Food Network has basically achieved the status of “rock star” — even if only for a minute. They’re on a national channel available to millions of people..
Who gives a shit about Madison Square Garden? Star rock bands regularly fill venues less than that. I mean, you can look at Alton Brown’s embarsassing “Good Eats 10th Anniversary” show — he’s basically a “rock star” chef, and he put on a horrible national television show in front of a mediocre audience. But I doubt you’d question his credibility..
Whether you like someone like Guy Fieri or not, he has some of the better shows, as well as being one of the highest profile Food Network hosts around. They truly are “rock stars” on the cable set, which is a decently significant audience these days..
Haha, of COURSE when someone from the actual article showed up…EVERYBODY is super-apologetic and walking on egg shells..
[...] (Food Network Humor) wrote a scathing — and hilarious — rebuttal to last week’s Wall Street Journal article about “rock star chefs” and personal appearances, [...]
I don’t believe in blindly idolizing anyone, be they a celebrity chef, a stand-up comedian, a movie star or a politician (et cetera)…being slavishly devoted to anyone seems to be rather juvenile to me. However, I also cannot fault any person who chooses to make the very most of their shot at celebrity–after all, America is supposed to be the land of opportunity, and making money by taking advantage of one’s celebrity status is simply an extreme example of a bankable opportunity. (Granted, “celebrity status” is quite the RARE opportunity.) I have to admit that I also don’t understand why celebrity seems to bless people who otherwise have no talent whatsoever to justify their status (Paris Hilton immediately springs to mind.) At least most of the “rockstar chefs” have entertainment value as well as some recipes that can come in handy sometimes.