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Tuna Can Cookies
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FNH reader Heather was browsing Food Network’s website when she noticed something a bit spooky: a recipe for Halloween cookies that suggested she use an old, bent TUNA CAN as a cookie cutter. Yum-o!
“First, they look terrible. They are three seconds away from being admitted to the Guy Fieri Asylum,” Heather wrote.
(I agree with Heather’s sentiments, though I think the cookie more closely resembles the face a woman would make upon seeing Guy Fieri naked.)
“When I first saw these they screamed Sandra Lee or Melissa D’Arabian, but they just credit the FN Kitchens. I guess the kitchen help is now a gang of cats who have empty tuna cans lying around,” Heather added. Sadly, that’s probably not too far from the truth.
Do they really want you to use a bent tuna can to make the face shape? Yes, they do: “Remove the top and bottom of the tuna can and discard. Wash and dry well. Pinch the sides of the can together to make a skull-like shape.” Pro tip: try to avoid slicing your fingers off in the process.
Do you have some extra tuna cans sitting around collecting dust? Are you considering making these lovely tuna can cookies for your friends or family? Think twice! The user reviews were absolutely horrible. Marie wondered if “anyone at Food Network tested this recipe before publishing it.” Ida noted the “dough was so sticky I couldn’t even cut them out.” And poor Erin couldn’t even get the stupid tuna can to work. She ended up having to “cut all the sides out with knife.” Sounds fun!
I know the economy is rough right now, but come on. AN OLD TUNA CAN? Why not just tell me to walk the streets until I find a discarded soda can instead? At least then I’d have removed some unsightly garbage from my neighborhood, and my cookies wouldn’t end up tasting like a tuna’s asshole. (Have you ever tried to get the fishy smell out of a tuna can? I have. It’s almost impossible.)
Consider this, Food Network: maybe, just maybe, some things were meant to be thrown out.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Ridiculous Food Network “Recipe” Of The Week: Robin Miller’s Sandwich Cookies---FNH Recap: Tough Cookies Series Premiere
---THINGS WE HATE: Barefoot Contessa’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix
---The Top 10 Worst Fortune Cookies Ever
---Food Network Fortune Cookies
- General: Food Network
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46 Responses
“…my cookies wouldn’t end up tasting like a tuna’s asshole.”
ROFLCOPTER :)
Holy Moly, my cat would LOVE these cookies!
I am going to make them for Mittens! Just kidding, I wouldn’t subject my cat to that kind of torture.
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish can into a cookie.
Ok, I tried….
LOL!!! I love puns, Byrdie!!! He he he…
These look disgusting.
Really FN, ghost cookie cutters are what, $1 at ANY dollar store? WHO, tell me would go through all the trouble of converting a tuna can? They’re INSANE!
I’m all for recycling and taking care of mother earth, but a few more tin or plastic REAL cookie cutters aren’t going to bring down the world so I just don’t see the point.
Reminds me of “The Scream” by Ed Munch.
Or Richard Heene.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I used an old can with both ends cut off to make a mold for eggs once. I did this to make my own egg McMuffins. Looked just the same, tasted better, cost pennies, and no one was the wiser
Sometimes you get inspired to do truly irrational things.
LMAO at the caption.
Yes, when I saw these I knew they were destined for greatness here at FNH! Thanks for sharing Jill! Off to Costco to buy a vat of tuna so I can make these tonight.
I read the reviews and obviously some people from food network wanted to even out the ratings and gave them 5 stars. But honestly, a TUNA FISH CAN??!! Gag me. And even though I use them for my tuna sandwiches, why do people at the FN test kitchens have tuna cans to spare? You would think that a cooking channel would use REAL tuna, not something from a can.
Pumpkin, I am laughing so hard about using real tuna! It gives me flashbacks of TNFNS when they droned on and on about packaged pound cake. Maybe we should call Bob and Suzy up and ask them if they frequently eat tuna for lunch!
Wait a minute, this is a recipe from Food Network? OH! That’s right! I just remembered what Food Network has become. Carry on.
Bad thing is these were on at the same time last year! Saw them this weekend and thought “Oh great the stupid scream cookies are back.” They recycle more crap than the igmos on HGTV. Hire some new poeple damnit!
Anyone else wonder where you’ve seen those cookies before?
http://www.wyckoffschools.org/eisenhower/teachers/olejarz/digitalimaging/scream/index.html
Doh, Guess I should have read down instead of up…Dank Dillweed beat me to it.
Hey, great minds think alike Wahoo. Thanks for the link, that painting suits my life to a “T”.
I want to know who is getting PAID to sit around and think this shit up, seriously.
Wife: “Welcome home honey, what did my snuggy huggy do today?”
FN Writer: “Boss told me I needed to come up with a halloween idea for the network.”
Wife: “And? what did my smart man do.”
FNW: “Well, I looked in the garbage and I saw a bent tuna can. And I thought, wow that tuna can is in the shape of a ghost head. And you know what the shape of a ghost head can be used for?”
Wife: “The focal point of Norwegian expressionist painter Edvard Munch’s masterwork The Scream?”
FNW: “Cookies”
I can imagine what Ferry looks like in the buff. I wonder if is able to actually see his pecker over that little buddha belly he has going on.
Tuna can cut out cookies. WOW that’s genius. They have MITand CALTECH grads working at FN ?
@Dillweed….I understand. I made the same face constantly for years before leaving the fire service.
Jillian, imagining Fieri naked again? Girl, we gotta get you out more. *elbow dig to the ribs*
You know, you don’t even have to bend the tuna cans. Just leave ‘em round and you can make Egg McMuffin cookies!
“my cookies wouldn’t end up tasting like a tuna’s asshole.”
OMG! That statement made me fall off my bed! I’m going to be laughing my ass off at that one for weeks to come! Thanks, Jillian!
Trying to see if I did this right (?) you peeps crack me up!
Love the cookie calling the baker an asshole! Too funny. Now we know why he was screaming.
please help me figure this posting out! New at this, I don’t like casa- sounds like the child services. Wanted to go by BOO! , for my dove! What is captcha code? And the website? Yes, my type needs to be read too!
” I can imagine what Ferry looks like in the buff. I wonder if is able to actually see his pecker over that little buddha belly he has going on. ”
Thanks a lot @Sarah
(What has been seen cannot be unseen)
:(
OK, I Never buy Tuna in “cans” after watching Alton Brown’s show about Tuna.
I Only use Tuna in sealed pouches.
WHY would I want to use “Fish Flavored” Cookie cutters? AB has Always Pushed “Plastic” Cookie Cutters! (for many reasons)
Food Network is really Sucking!
Excuse Me … I’m off to watch Tony Boudain and Learn a few things.
Casa, I’m sorry…WHAT?
@Dank – That’s the first thing I thought when I saw them.
God, this is pathetic. I have a whole DRAWER of cookie cutters in my kitchen. If the FN kitchen is that hard up, I’m sure I can send them a few. Tuna’s asshole. Awesome.
@casa : At the very very top of the page on the front page, should be a thing in the top bar that says sign in or create or something like that. That saves you on the message boards, you can update your info add pictures etc. Just create a free account for the comments.
jamie- my name is Cally, however I want to go by BOO!, there the tuna is outta the water. I want to take casa off, put in boo, and being new at this, I am ignorant. What was I to put in for website? Then to login, pass word, user something. I can’t see real well ( had lite industrial accident a year ago, almost killed me). If someone has the patience, I thank them dearly !
Dont they make ghost shaped plastic cookie cutters for like 10 cents at target?
sounds like someone is trying to be too clever and it didnt work
Casa, I would strongly advise getting with Jillian, she can help you. All is welcome here so, enjoy!
Casa, I just wrote what to do. Up at the top of the page, should say sign in or create account. If not… talk to Jillian like they said. Not at bottom of comments, at very top of the page in a gray bar, next to the FNH.
We were all new at something at some time, wer’nt we? Welcome aboard Boo. :)
This is actually the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen.
Wow. Just… wow.
Not too long ago, they aired the “Unwrapped” episode that showed how one company makes cookie cutters. Now, they’re telling us to forget that, and use old tuna cans instead?
Sharp edges. Bacteria. Fishy smell.
Let the lawsuits begin!
Was it tuna or chicken in those cans? :P
What about the holes for the eyes and mouth? What kind of cutter do ou use for them,,,a toothpaste cap and a Nyquil measuring cup? The whole recipe sucks!
@SueBee, be careful. You may get hired on at FN with those kind of ideas.
This one made me LOL. That last photo was a great zinger.
I once cut my pinky on a can of I think it was “chunk ham”. I was 11, and I was opening the can with a can opener and noticed some curious drops of blood on the counter. Oh my. Yes, I sliced my pinky pretty much to the bone (because 11 year old pinkies are very thin and all) with the lid of the can (little buzz saw that it was) and freaked out. I ran all over the house bleeding and screaming (it looked like a crime scene when my parents got home). I still have the scar; it’s about a half inch or so from one side of my pinkie to the other.
Moral of the story: Do not even attempt to open cans, much less bend them into cookie cutters.
Why does it have to be a TUNA can? What difference does what was in the can make?
@Lola: the reason it needs to be tuna can is insignificant. Remember, most of the sheeple tuning in to the FN are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. If they don’t specify clearly to the slack-jawed yokels, well they’ll be inundated with questions and complaints.
We know it doesn’t matter the can, but you know if they didnt specify, there’d be a number of idiots complaining that they “couldn’t bend the cocktail weenie can”, “the coffee can was to big”, “I couldn’t cut the bottm off the jelly jar” etc….
When dealing with the general public, always play it safe, and aim for the lowest common denominator. CYA they call it.
I just found this blog and I am laughing my ass off over here. Can’t wait to see what FN comes up with next – maybe I can decorate a cake by pressing the soles of my sneakers into the frosting to make a pretty pattern!
I was just thinking that these cookies look like feet w/ faces painted on them.
“Was it tuna or chicken in those cans?”
I don’t want to be a name-dropper, but didn’t one of the brand name canned tunas advertise as being “chicken of the sea”? LOL!
I wonder which brand of canned tuna one is supposed to use…