Guy Fieri »
Amazon Product Recommendations: More Diners, Drive Ins, & Dives
Published on: November 18, 2009 – 11:10 am by Jillian Madison 
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Amazon Product Recommendations: Guy Fieri Edition---Amazon Product Recommendations: Ina Garten Edition
---Amazon Product Recommendations: Sandra Lee Cookbook Edition
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
That noose looks like a bargain, ill get two!
LMAO!
Brilliant as usual, Jillian…
Does that noose come in extra large? I wanna make sure it fits over his fat head.
Funny shit girl! If you check out the three reviews and then check out all the reviews each of those folks have given, you’ll notice they review ALOT of books. I’ve heard people get paid to do positive book reviews on Amazon to promote sales. You can almost tell by reading their review. Hmmm…. Poor Ferry.
Regs here know I enjoy DDD. I could think of plenty of reasons to tighten that noose around his throat, but not for this book.
One of our favorite book genres is the “Roadside America” type of books. Invaluable when traveling. I see this book/show in the same light.
Unless you’re a snob who will only eat at the Four Seasons.
A lot of good joints out there, and he has a show that spotlights these great cooks and entrepreneurs. We have a local show on PBS called “Check, Please”, hosted by Alpana Singh (who happened to be a judge on Iron Chef not to long ago) which does same thing, although different in execution. Probably my favorite show on PBS.
Nice! :)
lol. fan+stool+noose= lack of helpful reviews for More DDD.
@Jillian: Your creativity never ceases to amaze and amuse!
I’m begging for another series of stuff people googled to end up here. Those kill me.
LMFAO to tears! Thx Jillian
Fieri: just a pseudonym for a pseudochef.
When I think of Fieri, I imagine a totally different type of “stool”. I might like to substitute a toilet and some industrial strength Lysol spray for the ceiling fan and noose. G’bye, Guy!
I imagine specific directions regarding a noose; that being said – a gas oven should also be mentioned as a like minded customer purchase. “Turn on FN. Wait for GBB or DDD. Turn on gas oven. Highest temp. Wait one hour. Insert head in scorching oven. Wait one hour.”
Byrdie, you crack me up!
@Detroit66: If that doesn’t work, just torch the place!
@CherryRose: I believe Douche-Ferry is non-flammable (sadly). He is like a small, fat, waxy Chucky Doll with a cheap knife. One of his, I am sure.
When I first saw the ceiling fan and stool, I thought, WTF is this?? Then saw the noose and it all clicked. Guess I was just having a blonde moment!
Good one, Jillian!
Nice Jill – I love how the noose has 4.5 stars..
WOW! Now, if single-razors were duct taped to that fan blade, we would have something in the news! Plus, maybe a hair-cut?
Hilarious!!!
@COPCOOK. Really!? That doesn’t make any sense. How would the rating get there? :)
I love this website, but I do find this post to be in poor taste. I realize it’s just humor, and not meant to be taken seriously, but…I just don’t think this was necessary.
Now RACHEL, poor taste, HUMOR, seriously, and necessary. All in one short rant? Think about it and report back later!
does anyone know why he changed “Ferry” to “Fieri?” Was he hoping to lend an air of authority and authenticity to his shtick?
It would not work, he would rip the fan out of the ceiling.
And I disagree regarding the freak not being flammable, he oozes grease. I guess what I hate the most about him(besides everything) is that he could have been legit. If he didn’t try so hard to be a douche he could have been a contender.Maybe he should be thrown off a roof.
“…Terry: You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. It was you, Charley.”
RJ is correct, but with a proper support of the electrical box in the roof/ceiling joists, and some aircraft spec bolts, I could hang some fuck from a Hampton Bay shitty fan.
And if he didn’t go all poser, and let his business skills, cooking, love for food, and his personality shine through, he’d be less hated.
But what is done is done, let him sleep with the fishes.
Boo, I would hardly call my comment a rant. In fact, I would call it, surprise, surprise, a comment. I’m trying to make sense of your reply (it would help if you used more than one complete sentence), but maybe I should elaborate on what I said.
Guy Fieri is a douche, a douche that’s fun to laugh at. Is it really necessary to include suicide in the many, MANY jokes that can be made at his expense? In my opinion, it’s not.
I don’t think that Jillian would want to truly offend one of her fans, and I think she would want to know if she did, which is why I commented in the first place. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I only wanted to share mine.
@Rachel,
Enough with this PC crap! This is an attack site! Collectively we are pissed off that the Food Network has become douche bag city, and we will mock and laugh at the network and the miserable staff it portrays as chefs. Do I feel the pain of those who suffer from depression? of course! Do I think it is out of bounds to use suicide to mock the “Network” in this venue? No. Any person who has at least 2 working brain cells(now I will be attacked for picking on the brain damaged) knows we are only serious in our disgust, this IS A HUMOR SITE!!!!!!! So let up.
I just wanted to clear a few things up about this post:
1. I was in no way suggesting Fieri should kill himself. I’m not sure why anyone would even think I was going there considering this is an AMAZON PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION SPOOF! I was simply suggesting that the people who purchased More Diners, Drive-ins, And Dives on Amazon have also purchased that stool and that noose. You know, because the product is so AWFUL it makes you wish you were dead. Get it?
2. This is the internet. There will always be somebody who’s offended by SOMETHING. Having said that, I think the posts on this site are about as politically correct as it gets. While I obviously don’t want to hurt anyone’s internet feelings, I don’t think this was in bad taste at all. I like to laugh at everything in life, cause if you ain’t laughin’, you’re cryin’. So let’s lighten up and have a good time, eh?
This was possibly the funniest post I’ve read since I’ve been coming to this site. The fact that it is politically incorrect makes it funnier. Funny is a dumb word. Christ.
Gee wiz.
I’m offended that I’m not offended.
holy cow – look at how jillian is wearing her shades in her new avatard! where oh where did she learn that shit?
Ah yes, Mikey. The sunglasses! I thought it would be the perfect Fieri-mocking avatar. The difference is, 1) I was outside on a sunny day and 2) The shades were temporarily up to snap a photo.
Please don’t let this site become another junkyard for political correctness!
oh yer excused jillian. I figured it was a parody of sorts. and yes it is apparent that it was sunny and that you were having a pic taken. plus at least they are on the right side of yer head and turned right side up. why am I convinced that were gweedo ferry to don a baseball cap it would be turn backwards sideways and or inside out? cuz that’s how he roll?
I didn’t take it to mean Guy wanted to kill himself or should, I took it to mean people who read the book did. I have a headache.
People can have their opinions, and that’s fine, as long as Jillian doesn’t let that stop her humor.(She hasn’t.)
Funniest thing I’ve seen here all day!
I was going through the pages here and found this. And ditz that I am, it took a moment for the joke to sink in, but then I couldn’t stop laughing. My only question is are you supposed to kick the stool out from beneath you, or just turn the fan on and let it spin you merrily into oblivion? (hope I spelled that right!)