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Ina Garten Really Knows What Kids Like [Not]
Published on: November 8, 2009 – 9:38 am by Jillian Madison 
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Apparently, yesterday was “kids day” on the Food Network. All of the day’s episodes featured the Food Network personalities preparing dishes that kids would supposedly love. The result? Some of the most disgusting, revolting food I’ve ever seen in my life. Rachael Ray made a truly hideous looking broccolini mac and cheese bake. Paula Deen made PORCUPINE BALLS (don’t even ask). And Ina Garten whipped up the notoriously kid-friendly white pizza covered in arugula [sarcasm alert].
Oh, but Ina didn’t stop there. For dessert, she made a delicious looking double chocolate sheet cake that I wanted to jump through my television set to eat. She thought it would be fun to have her friend’s kids decorate the cake with candy, an idea that might have been nice had she not purchased some of the most barf-worthy candies on the planet. We’re talking Necco wafers here, people. No one really eats those nasty colored discs. Last I checked, kids in my neighborhood were using them as playground chalk.
After Ina grabbed all the gross candy her manicured little hands could hold, she stared into the camera and said, “If the kids don’t have fun with these, I’m not the Barefoot Contessa!” Oh, I forgot. Ina Garten is the master of all things children. Um, who died and made her the Octomom?
The cake turned out as nasty looking as you might expect. Of course, the kids steered clear of the Neccos, and instead opted to sloppily write their names in colored icing. And as Ina basically forced them to frame the border with Jordan almonds, you could almost hear them silently wishing for a candy-less piece from the interior.
Ina then cut the cake into the most freakishly large pieces I’ve ever seen in my life. And we’re blaming Paula Deen for childhood obesity?!
The look on poor Lily’s face as she saw the gigantic slice of nasty almond covered cake coming at her said it all:
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Did Ina Garten Steal A Cake Recipe From Hershey’s?---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Sandra Lee “Cool Kids” Cookbook
---Ina & Jeffrey Garten: In Love For 40 Years
---Phonecall With Ina Garten
---Twitter Week On FNH: Day 2 (Ina Garten)
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THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
Long-time lurker, I venture to comment because I caught a bit of that Paula Deen episode yesterday. Admittedly, the modified mullet wig was distracting, but not so much that I didn’t recognize those Porcupine Meat Balls from the 1971 Better Homes and Gardens “All Time Favorite Recipes” booklet, memorable as the only dish I ever made my daughter would not eat.
Thank you for the hystrical posts and comments. Dare I say… YAY!
Ina is my go-to-gal, but damn, that candy was just a terrible idea.
Buttman needs to hire an educational consultant for these “cooking with kids” fiascos. While it’s true that children can learn a lot through early experiences in the kitchen, they need to be made aware of some obvious inherent dangers. Did anyone else notice that Ina and her young guest, Lily, put pizza pans into a 500* oven without potholders? WTF?
I have Barefoot Contessa on in the background and noticed something disturbing, but not surprising. Allow me to set up the story: Ina is making classics with the volume turned up (what a shock.) She’s making a giant pot roast and baked potatoes with yogurt and sour cream and decided to give those dishes to her friend Dwyer. Dwyer is having her kitchen remodeled, can’t cook, yada yada yada. Dwyer goes to Michael’s floral shop to get orange roses for Ina to thank her. She also stops by a Chinese take-out restaurant to buy dinner for Ina. Now, here’s what I noticed: Dwyer’s treatment of Michael and the take-out cashier was noticeably different. Now, I say it’s not surprising because, well, what blue-blood Hamptons resident feels compelled to respect a menial cashier? You’d think with Dwyer being recorded and all, she’d be nicer to the cashier. I suppose those rich people need to flaunt their “power.”
How many chins does Ina have now and WHY must they do closeups on her fugly mug all the time?
I only saw a portion of that show. In my area (Brooklyn,NY), TFN has been having blackouts. So all I saw was Ina mixing cake batter, frosting the cake, then buying the candies and that’s all. Am I alone in thinking that the Jordan Almonds was a bad idea for kids? I think they’re just hard and bland.
BTW, I completly missed the Neely’s also. I had a blank screen for 30 mins. LOL
“How many chins does Ina have now and WHY must they do closeups on her fugly mug all the time?”
The closeups were particularly obvious on yesterday’s cooking with kids show. I think Joan Rivers’ line about Liz Taylor having “more chins than a Chinese phonebook” is appropriate in describing Ina, too ;) If Ina wants those Norma Desmond closeups, she needs to cut down on the butter, cream, mayo, bacon, desserts that include “good” vanilla, etc.
Ina needs to get some good lipo.
She’s got a lot of lines on her face as well……
Instead of turning up the volume, she needs to turn up the speed on her treadmill. Or, at least, get on one.
@Alex: Ina got on a treadmill in one of her earliest Barefoot Contessa shows during which she also prepared some “healthy” foods like a fruit smoothie for breakfast. I think the only exercise that Ina gets is walking from her BMW into those trendy Hamptons’ boutiques and schlepping groceries from a pricy market. Oh, wait a minute! She’s been getting her friends to do that lately – LOL!
Layona, a few of us were posting yesterday after the show (in the forums). You picked up something that I commented on and that was the choice of Jordan Almonds. I’ve never seen a kid EVER eat one of these candies. As a matter of fact I’ve really only seen Jordan Almonds at formal functions, like wedding receptions. But if you noticed, she only chose the almonds because they ‘matched’ the pastel colors of the other candies she had already bagged. Now, I like things to be coordinated just as much as the next person, but matching your candies?? On a cake for kids? POLEEZZEE. Give me a break. Only in the Hamptons….
And am I the only one who likes Necco? I rarely eat candy, but what’s wrong with Necco? Jillian, if you ever get Necco, you can send them to me…
@CherryRose: I have heard about that infamous scene. I am still looking for a video clip of it.
I am one, who as a child, absolutely loved Jordan Almonds, When offered a box of candy I would always pick out the almonds, they were so crunchy! I also liked Necco Wafers, pity you can’t find them any more. My question is, why pick pastels for kids? All the kids i have known and know prefer bright colors.
Alex, you must share if you find it. I love that she makes a healthy smoothie, but then she’ll make scones with fifteen sticks of butter…
What is wrong with FN? Why does “cooking with kids” always equate to sugar/fat-bomb cakes topped with a ton of candy?
Tsk.
I just watched a rerun of Emeril cooking with his 4 year old son. They made fruit&yog smoothie, bolognese sauce&pasta, artichokes for dipping, and baked cod with basil. He just let the kid do what he was able to, and he kept emphasizing safety. The kid loved, and was familiar with, all the food and was obviously tickled to be emulating his dad.
HA he definitely has Emeril’s personality, not camera-shy. Bam!
Judith, go to the site Hometown Favorites. They have all the retro candies, including Necco and Chuckles and the like. I’ve ordered from them in the past and it’s a real hoot getting all these hard to find items from the 50′ and 60’s.
Of course, these candies aren’t a nickel like they used to be! But it’s fun!!
@Byrdie: I liked black Neccos, and there used to be a package of just the black ones. I also love Good & Plenty, Bassett’s Licorice Allsorts, Crows (black Dots), black Chuckles. You see a theme here, right?
Just as a piece of trivia, the black Necco Wafers are actually clove flavored.
Yes. Yes I do! You, my friend, are a licorice hound as am I. Love it. As a matter of fact, when I used to work, one of my friends would call me to his office, and there he would have a bag of jellybeans (from Easter I think) and he’d hold it open because he knew I was the only person who would eat the black ones! MMMM…
OMG! How could I forget black jelly beans? There are sometimes bags of just the black ones around Easter time. Black licorice is one of the few “sweets” for which I have cravings at times, and, when I want it, I just gotta have it! Does this happen to you, too, Byrdie?
she certainly knows what kids like, considering she has none!!
CR, from time to time I like sweets, but honestly, not very often. Just not a big sugar consumer. But thinking about it, I think I read something somewhere sometime (vague enough for ya?!) that there is something in licorice that is medicinal or something. I’m going to have to look that up. But, also, now that I’m thinking of it, if you like black licorice, try some Jagermeister! Been a long time since I’ve had it, but I think it has a licoricy type flavor.
[...] Admittedly, I watched this channel with some regularity back in the day. Now I might take a peek at a few episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, but that’s about it. Most of the cooking on that channel = nonsense. For example, take a look at this cooking with kids crap. [...]
Did you see the little boy say “don’t even ask” when she tried to put that salad on his pizza? Did you see her say “Do I look like I’m asking you?” LMAO!!! She really relates well to kids – who makes a couple of kids a white freakin pizza and tries to put an arugala salad with a lemon vinagrette on top of it? My niece and nephews would laugh me out of the kitchen.
@CherryRose & Byrdie: The closest I’ve come to licorice anything is tarragon. If tarragon really is licorice-flavored as it is said to be, you can make me the third musketeer.
I usually like Ina, but yesterday’s show was a joke. Kids don’t like bitter, peppery greens on a pizza. They want cheese and tomato sauce, at least. The cake was fine, but the candies she chose were dumb. And, yes, the look on Lily’s face when handed that huge slab of cake is priceless. The mom’s reaction was restrained.
Pic#1: Those must be for the ride home b/c there is double that amount in the bowls. Pic#2: Sterling Silver Revere bowls are a MUST for kids decorating cakes! Pic#3: Is the cake stuck to the bottom of the sheet pan? Kudos on the artistic license taken to carve the cake… so not typical Hampton style.
Ina, if you read this learn and remember for kids cakes: M&M’s, Gummi-worms/bears, and Jelly Beans – PERIOD! I remember watching a burgers-at-the-beach episode with a friend of Ina’s and her two daughters. Ina made blue cheese burgers. WTF? I like blue cheese but I doubt two kids would. Obviously, no one in the production crew have children to draw experience from.
I fear this recurring problem is Advertiser sponsorship. Every week seems to be a different theme of product placement. One week it is pomegranates and the next week it is butternut squash. How much did Jordan Almonds pay Doucheman & Co. for product placement? It might just be that Doucheman & Co. have full and total control over content of shows aired on their network? :(
@Byrdie: Licorice has long been known to ease bronchial conditions and asthma. Is that what you’re thinking about? Do you remember Luden’s Honey Licorice Cough Drops or the plain licorice ones by Smith Brothers? I used to enjoy those even when I didn’t have a cold or cough! Licorice also has stimulant properties, and too much of it can cause anxiety like caffeine.
Nod in agreement to Julia and DennyLou about the arugula pizza. I have a willing salad-eating 10-year-old, but she would draw the line with it on a pizza. No way Jose!
Worse than Ina was Pauler’s loud, obnoxious baby talk at the kids are her show. I wanted to stuff her porcupine balls up her nose!
Yep! The f•ck-up fairy is in full flight over the Hamptons
Alex, you’re right! Tarragon does have a licoricy flavor. Welcome to the club!!
Tyler, I noticed the silver bowls as well. If I was gonna have kids over to decorate a cake, I’m thinking rubbermaid bowls. And it’s a keen observation of the product placement. Kind of like Sonny Anderson and her stupid paper towels and all the contrived uses she came up with.
CR, I think you’re right about the cough drops. Smith Brothers…I laugh when I think of those ‘medicinal’ disks. It was a great way as a kid to have candy disguised as medicine. The nuns couldn’t take them away!
And by the way…I don’t watch Poopy so what the hell is a porcupine ball? I looked at the picture and that sure doesn’t help understand…looks more like a picture of a magnified ragweed pollen.
@Byrdie; Bless you for Hometown Favorites. I also love Licorice and you’re right the nuns couldn’t take my cough drops away and I didn’t have to share with my classmates because none of them liked Licorice.
ATTENTION! I have found the infamous “treadmill” episode! It’s titled “Feel-Good Food” from Season 1, episode 5. Original air date was 1/04/2003. Here’s the description from FN.com:
“This is a 24 hour feel good zone kicking off with a tropical smoothie drink, a power walk through East Hampton and a zesty Tuna with Mango Salsa. An afternoon cooking Tomato and Basil soup and a beetroot salad finished off with a goat cheese sandwich.”
Unfortunately, there’s no video.
“The f•ck-up fairy is in full flight over the Hamptons”
Could be that children who live in the Hamptons have much more sophisticated palates than “normal” American kids. They might be accustomed to arugula w/lemon vinaigrette on top their “white” pizza that’s been brushed with garlic- and thyme-infused “good” olive oil. As for the candy assortment, Ina was going after a pastel palette with her choices of cake-toppers and was clueless about what the kids might have wanted. jmo
Alex: what is this treadmill episode you are referring to?
Judith! Glad you like Hometown Favorites! They are a good company to do business with. I had an issue with the gift box I was sending, and they bent over backwards to help get it delivered on time! (And wasn’t it fun to get one over on Sister Mary Attitude once in a while!)
Alex, GOOD JOB! Man, I wish there was a video. And that sure seems like alot of food for one day. Goat cheese sandwich? Wouldn’t that be a fat filled delight for one trying to be healthy? Boy, would I like to get a gander of this ‘power walk’…what did she do? Have to walk to the Benz parked at the far end of the acreage?
What about Giada putting mac n cheese in cupcake tins? They looked so dry! And the disgusting granola using the runniest peanut butter I’ve ever seen. I know my son would never eat that stuff.
I bet Ina gets a lot of exercise walking from her mansion to her bigger-than-an-average-house barn.
Three words, Ina: Peanut. Butter. Cups. They won’t make your cake pretty, but they also won’t taste like Tums.
I remember an episode of Ina walking on a treadmill. She’s on it for about 30 seconds and she’s wearing her usual attire.
Hey – I LOVE NECCO WAFERS. If you all don’t like em, more for me!
@More Cowbell: The “treadmill” episode was mentioned in earlier threads on FNH. Basically, we’re poking fun at Ina for trying to portray any sort of healthful image.
I know a couple of kids who have very sophisticated palates, but their parents don’t condescend to them – which is my biggest beef with these FN “kids” shows. Giada has tried to cook with kids on several episodes of her shows and it has always set my teeth on edge. Just give children some credit for being people, for pity’s sake!
De-lurking because this was the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile … I like Ina, but she and kid-friendly foods seem to go together about as well as water and good olive oil lol.
I agree Hampton’s kiddos likely have different tastes than non-Hamptonites but still, people putside of the Hamptons watch the show (again, I love Ina, but it seems as though no one alerted her to the reality that not all of her viewers live in the Hamptons.
More so than the pizza/candy choices (after all, just because the candies would have decorated the cake, it doesn’t mean they had to eat them … very easy to put them to the side of the plate and eat the cake/icing), what surprised me is that kids that age couldn’t decorate more nicely. I mean, love or hate the candy, being that age, I’d think they’d have been able to come up with something nicer looking.
LOL! I saw this episode yesterday and thought the same thing! Arugula? For kids? A white pizza? for kids? She should have made a traditional cheese and/or pepperoni pizza with tomato sauce.
Memoria, I was laughing pretty good over that one too. The expression on those kid’s faces were what made the show though. You’ve never seen such eye rolling in your life. Ina was pushy, pushy “do it my way” the whole time of course.
She really has started to seem awfully pretentious and snooty lately. It’s kind of a bummer, I really love her show, but damn!
Maybe I was just a weird kid in a middle eastern household, but I loved jordan almonds growing up. Seriously, there was a bowl of them in every one of my family’s houses.
Yes, CR you are right. I’m from the south with palate the size of a serving platter! Not all due to my parents. Love Ina, however, if you’re open-minded with kids, a choice would be nice. The cake. I just didn’t get it. I got the pastel theme, she already had the pastel icing for the piping bags. ( Ina whips out that piping bag at the drop of hat, just like a man!) Now, I’m gonna say this- she could have pulled an Aunt Toddie and put burry flavor egstract etc. And just let the kids have fun. IMO
HAHA, I’m glad Jill noticed the idiocy of this episode too. I like arugula in moderation now but I know I would’ve been turned off by its peppery taste as a kid. And a white pizza covered in it doesn’t interest me at all now and it certainly wouldn’t have back then. The chocolate cake did look yummy until she ruined it with all the gross candy. If she had to do something she should’ve just gone with some uniquely colored M&Ms now that might have been ok. And those kids looked terrified with the large portions she gave, lol! I hold nothing against people like Ina who choose not to have children but it’s pretty sad how little she understands them.
Jamie, she is getting to be quite the pushy broad, isn’t she? It’s not new for her, it’s just more obvious since now she’ bossing little kids around.
Give her _some_ credit ;)
If this were an episode of Semi-Ho, the arugula pizza would be made of lettuce on top of a momma celeste’s frozen pepperoni pizza…
I do, in fact, love Necco wafers, esp. the black, then the brown.
And I am MAD for liquorice candies of any kind – always have been.
Good & plenty.
And the ‘medicinal’ cough drops to trick the nuns, YAY!
People either love or hate liquorice . . .
Someone mentioned “Porcupine Balls” in an earlier post. Doesn’t sound like something I want in my mouth……
I supposs seeing Her Royal Thighness on a treadmill would be slightly less gag-inducing than the ep in which we were treated to her bobbing around in the bathtub! NAKED! SHUDDER
“Someone mentioned “Porcupine Balls” in an earlier post. Doesn’t sound like something I want in my mouth……”
My mom used to make “porcupine meatballs” when I was a kid in the ’50s. The meatballs had rice added to the meat mixture: Thus, their appearance as “prickly”. No big deal, really, and I recall them being tasty.
Ina bobbing in a bathtub? How did I miss this one?
Byrdie, no kidding, huh? I couldn’t believe how she was acting. It really has started to at least for me, to not really be the Barefoot Contessa, but the Big Bossy Contessa. I’m waiting for her to start screaming “Off with their heads!” everytime someone doesn’t do what she want’s.
Now I know this post is about Ina cooking for kids, but did any of you catch the episode with Rachel Ray yesterday when she made the macarroni and cheese and mini meat loaves. Now Rachel, I understand that they are mini, but on her show she cooked them for maybe 15 minutes at (at 425 degrees i think). Now maybe it was just my TV, but those didn’t look mini enough to only cook for 15 minutes. What does she want to do, give the kids food born diseases?
How coincidental that the website says to cook for 18-20 minutes.
The thing that floors me the most from all of the foregoing is the massive size of the cake servings. Now we know a little more about why Ina is so “ample,” so to speak. Her idea of a serving size is about three times what the rest of us would have.
I think the kids were just lucky that they didn’t become part of the menu.
Jamie- I understand. After “off with their heads!” she will announce “NO BAD VANILLA!”. C’mon
..”Her idea of a serving size is about three times what the rest of us would have.”
It seems that everything Ina cooks is enough to serve a small country. Either that, or she is totally clueless about “portions”.
Porcupines were my favorite food as a kid… though now I call one big meatloaf w/ rice a porcupine and meatballs ‘hedgehogs’.
“Ina bobbing in a bathtub?”
Some parts bobbed more than others ;)
Does anyone remember her most popular episode with the ‘Outrageous Brownies’? (I think it was for a beach barbeque.) She made them on a full size baking sheet that would fill every square inch of any normal oven and then cut 6 small pieces out to take to the beach. I think she used two small cardboard Chinese takeout containers to hold six brownies. Bet the production crew didn’t get any either…
Tyler Peel,
I remember it. It reminds me of her grownup mac and cheese recipe. I’ve made that and it says it makes 2 servings. I get 6 servings out of it. I’m no skinny mini, but I could not eat like that. Even her chicken salad sandwiches are the size of dinner plates. Jeepers.
Amanda Freitag cut??!?!?!??
Apparently this entire weekend was for kids, not just yesterday, as today’s programming reflected that theme as well. I have nothing against shows about cooking with kids, but since I don’t have children and the recipes were mostly gag-inducing, FN lost me for most of the weekend. Why do they have to constantly pick themes and run them into the ground? Just like the tailgating marathon a couple of weeks ago. Has FN never heard of variety being the spice of life?
I missed the Ina episode, but I was just looking at the recipes from that show on FN’s website. I noticed immediately that the “Garlic Oil” recipe does not say to refrigerate any unused portion of the infused oil (it just says to cool it off to room temp). Did anyone see whether she says anything about refrigerating it? Homemade garlic oil has a major risk of botulism if it is not refrigerated, and we were just discussing this issue in a thread on the Food Network Humor forums. Also, Ina’s cake recipe from this episode apparently contains a big boo-boo: According to the reviews, the recipe should say 1 1/2 cups of buttermilk, NOT 1/2 cup–a mistake that could obviously destroy your cake.
I did have the misfortune of seeing part of Paula Deen’s “Kid Krazy” episode while flipping through channels yesterday (it seems that Pauler is now taking spelling lessons from Guy Ferry). The “Porcupine Balls” looked as gross (and nothing like porcupines) as they sound, and the recipe reviews on FN’s website confirm this. Even worse, however, was the “Green Eggs and Ham.” I don’t know about you, but when I think of green eggs, I imagine pesto, or maybe spinach. What does Pauler use? FOOD COLORING. The result looked just as gacktastic as you can imagine. I doubt it’s an accident that there are no photos for the recipes from this episode. There are some rather amusing reviews of the green eggs recipe on FN’s website, which are worth taking a look at for laughs.
I also caught part of the Emeril rerun where he cooks with his son, which Di mentions upthread. ITA that this episode stands out in great contrast to the crappy new shows FN is running about cooking with children, as Emeril makes normal, tasty-looking, and relatively healthy food with his kid. Why is it so hard for FN to grasp such a basic concept?
Wow, Justin Hale, did it ever occur to you that it’s only 7 p.m. on the West Coast and the new episode of The Next Iron Chef doesn’t air here for two more hours?
I have studiously avoided looking at any forums on TNIC, or even the Food Network site itself, for the past hour (and was going to continue doing so for the next two hours) for this very reason. Yet you just gave away the ending, in a thread that has absolutely nothing to do with that show, and when I went to see if the comment I just posted had shown up here, I couldn’t help but see what you wrote.
Thanks for ruining tonight’s show for me. :(
Betty,
I’ve made my own garlic oil many times and I don’t know how dangerous it is or not, but I’ve never refrigerated it. I just did what my instincts said. Maybe I’m just lucky? It does however get used within a week or two. I will say that I slow simmer the oil over a 1-2 hour period on low heat, adding new garlic as I go. I’ve never had a problem with mine. Again though, I never thought it would be an issue and didn’t worry about it.
Can you send me the info to the forum thread? I just registered so I’m still getting my sea-legs. :)
I saw this episode. I felt bad for Ina.
“Kids” are NOT her Best.
Yuck! Necco Waffers!
@ Betty Crocker~
Yes! I was waiting to wait the new ‘Next Iron Chef’ as well, it’s only 9pm here.
What a jerk!
I don’t get what’s wrong with the white cheese an arugula pizza. I LOVED arugula as a kid and still do. That being said, I also loved black coffee and raw salmon before the age of 2, so…
Anyway, my point is, kids don’t like those foods because they aren’t exposed to them. It’s particularly annoying that adults think kid friendly food equates to unhealthy/typical American food (aka fries, hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.)
Caviar + Smoked Salmon + Potato Pancakes = a favorite of mine as a child. And still are.
That being said, Necco Wafers are gross IMO.
Awww…porcupine balls make me think of my mom, who made them for us kids way back when (the 70’s.) They’re basically meatloaf with cooked rice added, then you shape them into balls and bake them in tomato sauce. The rice supposedly sticks out of the balls like the spines on a porcupine. Good recession food, and as I recall, we liked ‘em as kids.
I miss my mom, wish I lived closer to her! *sniff, sniff*
And I am a childless woman, but I certainly remember being a kid. Jordan almonds wouldn’t even be on my radar for kiddie cake decorations! I think when cooking with kids, the simpler the better.
About the episode: I didn’t think she was waayyy off base. I mean, pizza and chocolate cake? Sounds good on paper. Details did suck though. To me, it just showed that she didn’t spend much time with kids at all, so has no idea what they want. Or maybe what kids in the Hamptons want is different than the kids I’ve been hanging out with (friends and families kids).
My nephews would have been all over those jordan almonds – they are good throwing weapons (which I found out at my wedding). And I know quite a few kids that try to wipe the tomato sauce off their pizza’s – they would think you were crazy if you tried to put a salad on their pizza though.
About the garlic oil – it’s usually only a big risk when you use raw garlic and don’t heat it. If you have heated the garlic in the oil, that would kill any bugs you may be afraid of. If you put raw garlic in oil, though, you have to refrigerate it
It’s always interesting to me that Ina tries so hard to make things “rustic”. Give it up, and either quit being so precise, or just make everything perfect. My pie crusts are always “rustic” – mainly because I hate doing lattice work, and I always manage to overstuff my pie crust, so it’s not easy to seal the edges…
I like Necco Wafers and they still sell them at Walgreen’s in the candy aisle. I’m not a sugar fiend but every few years I’ll get a pack and never thought they were gross or anything.
I’d like to know more about how the cashier was treated as someone mentioned he or she wasn’t treated respectfully.
The Ina cake is just sugar overload. Why do kids have such restricted menus, anyway? it’s ALWAYS chicken tenders or mac n cheese. Kids have to try to eat OTHER THINGS and I don’t see why they can’t. The problem is that the media and society push kids into a mold and forcing them to only eat sugar and desserts then they wonder why the kid freaks out at the look of spinach.
Ina is out of her mind. No one under the age of 60 likes Necco Wafers or Jordan almonds. Good idea in theory. Awful execution!
Princess, I just watched the episode (’Company Pot Roast’) where Ina cooks for her friend Dwyer. To thank Ina, Dwyer goes to Michael’s flower shop to buy something for Ina and then drives over to the chinese take away for some General Tso chicken for her as well.
Since I had seen this episode before (actually more than three or four times, rerun of a rerun of a rerun rerun, but that’s an entirely ‘nuther subject), I watched very carefully as I also read how rude Dwyer acted toward Michael and the food clerk. I didn’t see anything untoward or rude. The acting was stupid and corny (as it always is) but other than looking contrived, I saw no rude behavior or snobbish attitude.
I’m more pissed that Ina takes ‘a classic and turns the volume way up’ by cooking a FREAKIN BAKED POTATO! huh??
@Alexis: You’re probably right about the age thing with Neccos and Jordan Almonds.
I was actually looking for info on another local store that carried retro candy and came upon this: http://zspennycandy.com/
I caught this episode yesterday. I was in shock about the arugala salad…that’s a hard thing for some adults to take in, let alone little kids. The Necco’s and all the other nasty candy would have totally ruined her yummy cake! Thank goodness the kids had good sense!
“..I saw no rude behavior or snobbish attitude..”
I wouldn’t presume to know what the poster meant by the comment regarding Dwyer’s attitude in the episode, but I’ll take a stab at it.
There is clearly a cordial tete a tete between Dwyer and Ina’s favorite florist, Michael, as she asks what kind of flowers Ina might like, what color, etc. By contrast, Dwyer’s exchange with the counter girl at the Chinese takeout is “business as usual” even though employees at the establishment probably know Ina and/or Dwyer as frequent customers. A more pleasant exchange might have been Dwyer asking for a recommendation for Ina’s dinner or inquiring about Ina’s favorite takeout from this establishment. Not necessarily Dwyer’s fault – just some bad scripting by FN writers. jmo
did anyone notice how obnoxious Ina’s friend with the kids was? She kept saying annoying things like, “My pizza is going to have the most cheese” “I get the biggest piece” “I did the best job grating cheese.” It was really bizzare , her kids seemed to even hate her.
My favorite part was watching Ina seething as she watched the boy make his pizza with the huge crust! That’s why he didn’t get any arugula!
If I’m not mistaken, for those of you missed this lovely episode, it’s on again today at the 4 p.m. timeslot.
I can hardly wait….
“..That’s why he didn’t get any arugula!”
I thought the kid said that he didn’t want the arugula as a pizza topper. At that age, I doubt that I would have chosen that, either. Not too sure that I’d want arugula on a pizza now, come to think of it…
@Byrdie: Thanks for the head’s up! I’m tired of “listening” to Law & Order episodes that I’ve already seen.
I’m currently watching this….
It looks and makes me feel very….awkward.
Ina…NO. Please stop.
I love how when they kids were in the car and their uh….mom [?] asked them if they were excited to see Ina. That was the most unenthusiastic reply ever. Ahhhh, to live and love in the Hamptons. I hope they have enough air to breathe with their heads that high.
Btw Ina, please stop laughing.
EVERYTHING STUPID LITTLE THING IS NOT THAT FUNNY.
Oh yeah….WHY ARE THESE KIDS DRESSED THE SAME?!
I watched this too. holy crap what a fucked up lunch to feed a couple kids. no way I would have eaten a goat cheese and arugula salad pizza when I was a kid or even now for that matter. and what was up w/ the way ina cut that cake? where did she learn that wack shit? I’m not even talking about the size of those slices. a kindergartener could prolly cut more square slices.
well I wished I had seen it all Sun. Those poor kids in the car were not happy. Why does she make sheet cakes that look like they came out of the school cafeteria? And I know there is danger with the infused oils. Years ago an article in readers digest told a story of a guest dying after many had been hospitalized. It came back to the infused olive oil. Never forgot that. I know it can be done though. I’ll google later. Now, have you ever tasted warmed arugula? Not for me. I missed it on previous post about her whipping out the pastry bags ( but not about the men whipping it out he! he!). As I would never guess her to use tubed icing. How gross! And the size of the servings was……Ina you have really let us down! Bet those kids were wishing mom had changed lanes en route! He!he!he!
Boo, the conversation in the car probably went something akin to this:
Mom: Now, when we get to Ina’s you kids behave yourself.
Girl: (sigh) ok, mom
Boy: I don’t like Ina. She smells like vanilla.
Girl: Stop touching me…mom, tell him to stop touching me.
Mom: BOth of you stop it. You will behave or I’ll take away your WII and your IPODs when we get home.
Girl: Ok.
Boy: She’s gonna make us eat some weird stuff. I don’t want to go.
Girl: Just pretend to eat it, stupid. When she’s not looking, spit it out.
Boy: She’s gonna try and hug me. I’ll probably die cause I can’t breath when she does that…
Mom: That’s enough, mister. I need the money so we are going to go and you are going to pretend to like it. Otherwise, I’m taking away your laptops and your debit cards.
Girl: Yeah, ok.
Boy: She’s gonna smuther me…I just know it.
I just caught this episode today.
Don’choo know that Hamptons kids were born with a ‘good’ silver spoon in their mouth??
In response to Jamie (and also the follow-up comment from Ren), there is some evidence that if infused oils are not refrigerated shortly after use, regardless of the temperatures they have been heated at beforehand, there is a risk of botulism (slight though it may be). But I’m no expert, to be sure!
Jamie, I know you’re on the forums now, and this topic first came up in the “Would You Rather…” forum. However, I’ve started a new thread to discuss this topic, called “Botulism and Homemade Infused Oils,” which you can find in the forums list. Hope that helps.
Omg Byrdie, that was so damn funny. I could definitly picture that conversation. Thanks for the good laugh.
Okay, I caught this yesterday, purely because of this discussion. I was SHOCKED! Is she out of her ever-lovin’ mind?
However, I’m also now wondering…is the joke on us, somehow? I can’t quite connect A to B here, (long day), how in the hell could she not realize how ridiculous that entire program was, other than the basic dough and cake recipe? Was she forced into doing a ‘kid show’ by the jackasses that be? Was this her retaliation – to make it so absurd that it would be an embarrassment?
Like I said, I can’t quite connect those dots completely. Maybe I’m just refusing to believe my beloved Ina could be so incredibly out of touch…
Katie, Ina seems to have a good heart, but she’s been hanging out with adults her whole life. She has to be clueless about kids. She got the pizza part right, but arugala and no meat? Chocolate cake’s ok, but a sheet cake divided into four pieces is just plain insane.
In her mind I guess she did what she thought was right, but that just goes to show that she IS out of touch.
Why must adults (i.e., Ina) mess up a perfectly good chocolate cake with all of that other candy crap (i.e., any non-chocolate candy)? All that matters is the CHOCOLATE cake!!! The child RB would have said “eewwww, gross” and probably burst into tears (I was very emotional). Luckily, the adult RB can safely say “Fuck the rest of that shit, Ina!! Gimme chocolate or get the hell out of the kitchen!”
I know, tough words from someone who can’t even use chopsticks…
Yesterday at work(I work at a diner type place and I’m 15, btw) a coworker found a box of Nesco things on display and we had a lengthy discussion on “Who the eff eats these things?” because it was a slow night.
[...] more from the original source: Ina Garten Really Knows What Kids Like [Not] « Food Network Humor Tags: always-have, and-remember, artistic, bottom, brown, for-kids, for-liquorice, license-taken, [...]
Has it escaped everyone’s attention that Ina’s husband Jeffrey is clearly GAY!!!! I actually felt bad for Ina in one episode where she made Jeffrey all this food for him to eat while he was away for “work” and she told him she loved him…he said nothing then got in his car and drove away! whata dick!
I’m just pushing the comment count to 100. ;)
I’ve missed this episode twice. Dagnabbit.
Missed Ina’s “candy” episode and am glad I did. Whatever possessed her to think Necco Wafers are popular candies? Maybe in the early 50’s, when she was a kid–but nowadays, little boys and girls are into sour stuff. Even when I was a child (and I’m 57), Necco Wafers were always the last candies bouncing around in my trick or treat bag. I tried them only once, with their chalky, bitter taste. Bleagh!
And look at that cake Ina created! It looks like she was tripping on acid when she decorated and then sliced it! Perhaps if the thing had been titled “Angst” or “Scream” and presented as a work of expressionistic art, I could understand. But as a confection, it just screams “Sybill,” and I mean the loony mom who sang to herself and liked to stare out of windows while chopping lettuce (have to see the movie).
And Jordan Almonds? Those rock hard bon-bons that will wreck teeth and can be considered a choking hazard? No wonder that little Asian girl looks like she’s gonna cry! And if you really study her face, she’s actually glancing off-camera, as this crazy fat lady is forcing her to eat something that the maid wouldn’t even touch!
It’s a good thing I have a 52″ wide TV, because Ina’s getting closer to the edges every season. I figure by 2011 I’ll need a 72″ just to watch the show without part of her black canvas tent draped body being cropped off the screen.
Belated, but I saw this episode the other day and it cracked me up! The cake slices confused the hell out of me…how she manages to get 4-5 slices out of a SHEET cake was ridiculous. And the candy thing was just odd…she was pointing to each bin filled with actual kid-friendly candies and then saying no because of their colors? And then she settles for the most bland outdated candies in the store…weird.
I agree it wasn’t her best show but some of the previous comments are just beyond mean. If you can’t complain about her cooking I guess the next best thing to attack is her husband who happens to be a genius in the International business world (I suggest you google him) as well as her friends and home and of course, her weight and clothes. I wouldn’t mind living in the Hamptons and living in that beautiful home and having a happy marriage and cooking like her at all. I don’t care what she wears or weighs. I like her recipes.She’s the only one on FN that can cook. Your website has gone from very funny with alot of truth in it to just plain juvenile and mean. I’m done with the FN anyway and going back to PBS.
Cowpoke, I also mentioned Jeffrey’s fame a few posts back…he is very well respected in his own right. He’s also just a sweet guy and Ina definitely knows the way to his heart. But I digress. This sounds like it was a mess of a show, and I also think that she seems to be rehashing a lot of things that have been done before, which is a shame. There’s just nothing new anymore, but as we know, the whole network has just gone stale.
Jillie,
I agree with you 100%. The network is a disaster.
What happened to Nigella?
I saw this episode a couple weeks ago and thought the exact same thing: Yuck. What kid would eat THAT? But the part you fail to mention in your blog post is how the Contessa decided to mix child-friendly coffee into the chocolate cake. Something about “making it richer” or “bringing out the flavor of the chocolate.”
Right.
Cause if there’s one thing an 8-year-old likes, it’s coffee. And if there’s one thing an 8-year-old really, super duper likes, it’s coffee-tainted chocolate cake topped with licorice candies their grandmothers eat.
Emma – I don’t know if you’ve ever tried her chocolate cake recipe but adding coffee makes it amazing and you don’t taste the coffee at all. It does bring out the flavor of the chocolate. Try it and I think you’ll like it very much.
I do agree that it was not her best show but try the cake without the awful candy and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I’ve made many of her recipes and have never been disappointed yet. She is a great cook. I wish there were more like her on FN. I still want to know how Sandra Lee got a TV show.I wouldn’t feed my dog that garbage.
I have to comment on the coffee in chocolate thing.
Yes, it’s a great idea. But to think that it’s because Ina came up with it is ridiculous. It’s been done for years and years by restaurants and bakeries. Don’t get suckered into thinking that because a technique or ingredient is used on a particular show that the host/cook of that show ‘invented’ it. Mommy D’earest once said on her stupid, ignorant boring show that she invented glazed carrots. Give me a break.
So before you lay wreaths of flowers and bottles of ‘good’ vanilla at Ina’s fat toes, remember she’s just repeating what’s been done by many for a long time.
Byrdie – You should re-read what I wrote.I never said she invented it. I said to try the recipe. It is a good cake. I enjoy her recipes and all or most of them are not her recipes at all. I don’t know why you think her show is boring and stupid. She’s just cooking. I’m not sure what you are expecting her to do.
If I were going to worship and lay flowers and good vanilla at someones feet it would be my mother who was the greatest cook and and professional baker in the world.And most of her recipes weren’t original either.
I just watched it this morning. I still cannot understand why she cut the cake like that. She is so prim and proper, yet cuts cake like my 6 year old would.
I did learn Ina loves yeast.
HAHAHAHA!!! The last two pictures + captions are priceless!!!
Just watched this episode! Ina should have left the candy out and just let them write their name in icing. Those huge pieces were ridiculous. I didn’t mind the arugula salad my mom had me eating all kind of snotty food growing up including escargot! I do remember feeling that she was trying to live through me or something and really wished she would have let me be a kid not a mini adult. She meant well! Back to Ina, this episode just showed how shes kid clueless..but Im sure Ina meant well ha!
Hands down, FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. I was watching this episode thinking the exact same things; from the disgusting candy choices to the RIDICULOUSLY large slices she served those poor kids. CLASSIC.
IMA FARTEN- YOURA AHOLE
you lot are sad she is a better cook then you any day and i like the idea that she mixes food up so why be sad it cool to mix things up
Why be sad? Why be ungrammatical?