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Ina Garten Romance Novel Is As Awesome As It Sounds
Published on: November 30, 2009 – 3:23 pm by Jillian Madison 
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In 2007, two guys by the name of Noah and Chargenda got together and wrote one of the most magical pieces of literature I’ve ever read in my life. It’s a trashy novella about Ina Garten’s life, and it’s hilariously titled: BAREFOOT CONFESSA. Here are the first three chapters:
(To read more, check out their LiveJournal page! If anyone knows who these guys are, buy them a GOOD BEER for me. Thanks for the tip, Jen!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Ina Garten Loves Her Gay Men---A Message From Ina Garten
---Ina Garten: How Easy Is That?
---“GOOD” New Ina Garten Parody Videos Hit The Internet
---Barefoot Contessa: Beach Barbecue Photo Recap
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
Oh my. This is hilarious! And why do I have a feeling this very well may be what really goes on at Ina’s?
It was a dark and stormy night in the Hamptons. Suddenly, a shot rang out. Someone screamed.
“What’s that?” Ina cried. “Jeffrey, is that you, back from the Good Vanilla Shoppe?”
Silence.
Maybe the Ina soap opera will replace last summer’s “Royal Pains” that was set in the tony Hamptons. After all, “characters are wanted” on USA, and Ina and her pals would certainly meet the criteria :)
Oh Ferd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I just pissed myself!!!!!!! Too funny!!
LOVED this.
These guys don’t need a beer, they need spell check!
This is to awesome for words xD
Agreed, Bobbilicious, the spelling errors detracted from the work as a whole. Or hole.
Misspelling of Boobalicious intentional, BTW.
Love it, especially the stuff that Jillian didn’t post…
“It was hard living the lie at first, but he soon got used to wearing thongs.”
Oh I am going to the Library so I can check the rest of this out! Darn work computer, blocking all (almost) the good stuff!
Escandalo !
The Hamptons’ dirty little secret is uncovered !
(points off for bad spelling, tho’)
Stop wasting FNH space. Flamers.
Brilliant.
In spite of the misspelled words.
I can’t WAIT to read what happened next!
Wow. Just Wow.
LOL! Yeah, they had me until the verb tense started changing for no reason. Damn my being an English major.
It was so horribly written I couldn’t even find it funny.
Arch…we are on the same page (lit major, actually but I do life coaching work, go figure. Now I’m getting a master’s in stats and moving on to a PhD in Philosophy to teach at uni level.
masters in english here and ugh.
then again you wouldn’t no it from my poor form and blather here.
I am quite sure that this will become #1 on the NY Times Best-Seller List once it is published… ugh.
For those of you (like me) who didn’t know who T R is, he’s T. R. Pescod.
He is a model with salt and pepper hair, and if you get Barneys’ catalogs you would have seen him. He also appears in Sex and the City…the episode where Carrie Bradshaw does the runway and falls. He’s described as gorgeous and gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
oh_my_goodness….that was hilarious.
Hilarious, but a little tedious to read with all of the errors.
I understand there are a few spelling / grammar errors, but I was hoping you could all look beyond that! I should have known better!
I agree. Theres as time and a place for critiquing spelling. Something written by two random kids about Ina Garten, no. Something written on Twitter by Tyler Florence, yes.
I know. It’s supposed to be funny and not perfectly written. I definitely took it for that, and not the next great literary piece, destined for Oprah’s book club.
Or WILL it be?!?!
I hope beyond hope that it will be.
I enjoyed it so freaking much, its unbelievable. I cannot wait for the next installment.
But I am glad to know I wasn’t the only one who was being picky about the spelling. Its nice to know there are people out there who stick up for grammar.
Best part of it ever- “I think you sat in some of your batter” … “That’s not batter”. OH DANG. :)
This is soooo funny! I really needed a good laugh tonight, can’t wait to read more!
Forget the typos, this needs to be on audio! Featuring RuPaul!
I did have a hard time getting past the errors, try as I might, as they were so distracting. The premise was really funny and it had great potential, but when I had to go back and reread sentences to try to figure out the meaning, I lost interest. I agree with BOO, though: An audio version would be great!
But what I really want to know is what’s up with the new “Like or Dislike” options? Not sure how I feel about that and am curious about other’s opinions. I don’t want to hijack this thread, so I’ll post a new thread on it over in the FNH forums.
Morning Betty!
I just wanted to see what it looks like!
Thought I would add to this and see what a third reply to a post looks like, I’m a curious person!
And Yes, these new like + dislike buttons should be interesting..
Radio check.. over
check
very funny. wish they learned how to spell.
Good GOD that was funny! Had me bursting out laughing!
Not even remotely funny.
LMFAO (again!)
“Momma made you a big bowl of lemon fusilli with arugila, how bad could that be?… if you know what I mean.”
O.o
With that visual, I may never masturbate again :(
This is the greatest work of literature since “My Immortal” by gofficgurl666.
The absolute best line from this little novella is near the end of part 4 when it says “Miguel giggled like a geisha on payday.”