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General: Food Network »

Introducing The Sarcastic Turkey
Posted on November 25th 2009 by Jillian Madison

    39 Responses

  1. Motzi Greps says:

    Glad I’m not the only one that finds Bobblehead’s husband odd.

  2. Dan says:

    Love it. That sarcastic turkey and I would get along really well.

  3. Dan says:

    Oh and for the record, Todd’s shirt is totally Fugly.

  4. Eyeris says:

    Michael Groover has one facial expression. It never changes.

  5. jenna says:

    I loved this! You should bring him back every holiday.

  6. cowpoke says:

    I would just like to wish Jillian and everyone out there a very Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving. May you be surrounded by a abundance of love, family and friends.

  7. Sam-i-am-not says:

    Dear God. I’m no fashion expert, but Todd’s shirt is one of the ugliest things my eyes have seen since 1982. Somebody burn that thing until it dies.

    Happy Thanksgiving FNH!

  8. Alex says:

    Rachael Ray’s stupid husband (I call him that because I don’t feel like spelling his last name) reminds me of Al Bundy. I’m insulting Mr. Bundy with that comparison, but I see it nonetheless.

  9. YouKnowWhoIAM says:

    Rachael Ray and John Cusimano look so happy in that photo don’t they? That guy looks so grubby. I want to spray him down with my garden hose.

    PS Tyler Florence looks like he is recovering from cataract surgery.

  10. CherryRose says:

    Giada must insist that Todd eats only teeny, weeny bites of food like she does. The shirt is ugly, for sure, but Mr. Giada looks positively emaciated.

  11. Ferd Berfle says:

    Gay Ferry’s chins are taking on a life of their own.

  12. Alex says:

    Methinks Santa Claus isn’t looking at Pauler’s food. He’s eying her purse under the counter and waiting for her to turn her back so he can grab a few ten spots.

  13. Alex says:

    Giada is most likely regaling the viewing audience with stories of the many times that Todd has fondled her breasts.

  14. Squarebob Spongepants says:

    Isn’t Todd a clothing designer? If so, that makes his shirt choice especially scary.

  15. Jp says:

    Oh lord. I saw that episode of paula today.
    I’m hoping I’m not the only one that heard paula say the whole you can tie me up anytime thing at the end…..
    ewww.

    • opheliablue says:

      YES I caught that too just the other day! I just googled “Paula Deen ‘tie me up’ ” to see if anyone else said anything about it. Haha my jaw dropped and everything!

  16. CherryRose says:

    @Jillian: How about a “Sarcastic Santa” next month? Pretty please – with sugar on top!

  17. Sandra says:

    Brilliant! LMAO

  18. Robert says:

    Didn’t Aunt Sandy say she didn’t like store brands in her angry interview?

  19. Daria says:

    YAY this turkey gets a pardon.

  20. Alex says:

    @Robert: She did. She also took on her critics. Apparently, she’s had enough of us.

  21. Judith says:

    @Alex: I’m glad she’s had enough of us because we certainly have had enough of her. Go away Aunt Sandy!!!

  22. Di says:

    Haha – Pauler and Groover
    No pants – it’s a GOOD thing !

  23. CherryRose says:

    @DI: Yeah! Next time someone throws a ham, it might hit the Captain below the waist! Ouch!

  24. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    I think I’ve seen Todd wearing shirts uglier than that one.

    Cap’n Groover does have only one expression; it’s a non-expressive expression.

  25. Sumodo says:

    Oh, sh*t! Paula Deen’s wearing the same top I bought at Dillard’s last year! That means EVERYBODY WILL KNOW it’s a fat girl top, from Dillard’s Women’s World section. BUSTED! It cost a bunch, too.

  26. Jennie says:

    Jillian, my first thoughts were ‘this is briliant’, followed by ‘please, oh PLEASE, have one of these every holiday. Maybe a sarcastic reindeer, grumpy Cupid, pessimistic Easter Bunny etc lol.

  27. rocks67 says:

    My dad has those sunglasses, Tyler. They are the kind that GO OVER OTHER GLASSES!! otherwise known as Blu-Blockers.

    Yikes, Not surprised he’s wearing them – he probably caught site of Todd’s shirt, above!

    Happy Turkey Day!!

  28. Just Jill says:

    Jillian-PLEASE make Sarcastic Turkey The Food Network Humor Mascot! Name him Herman.

    Happy Turkey Day Everyone and keep in mind the best cure for a Turkey coma is liquor!

  29. Matza Ball says:

    Hmm….think think think…It sure looks like Giadas talking about her boobs. I can hear it now, “Hubby, so you think it takes this much to get your hands around them!”

  30. BoxedWine says:

    Too cute and funny!

    Since I broke into the Thanksgiving wine early, where is Martin on this? I could stare at his pic all day but then I’d be destitute and truly have to drink boxed wine, or none at all.

    (Oops, did I just say that?)

  31. Martin says:

    I could never understand why FN involves the husbands of their talent. Why do we want to see the chef’s husband? Its a very disturbing trend and I fear we are going to see more and more of this.. UGH…

  32. Martin says:

    John Cusimano is definitely the most disgusting of the bunch. When I see him I change the channel… I’d love to see Jillian do some sort of a parody of him!

  33. Martin says:

    @BoxedWine – thanks for the compliment.. i think! :) I am still at work, just taking a break from seeing patients and writing up charts.

  34. BoxedWine says:

    FUUUN Martin, I am finishing up work as well, counseling reviews. :)

    I’ll keep my personal banter off here so as not to be rude.

    Happy writing.

  35. Trini says:

    I’m lovin’ Sarcastic Turkey. Hope see more of him. Happy Thanksgiving, folks!

  36. dennylou says:

    Has anyone noticed that Ray-Ray and her husband look eerily alike? Kinda creepy if ya ask me.

    Giada and Todd are the typical So Cal skinnies.

  37. Jaded says:

    Mr. and Mrs. DeLaurentiis both have extraordinarily large noggins. Mr. Rachael Ray looks like he hides bodies in the basement.

  38. Betty Crocker says:

    Add me to the votes for this becoming a holiday tradition on FNH: Sarcastic Santa (or Reindeer, whatever). Hilarious.

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