General: Food Network »
Introducing The Sarcastic Turkey
Published on: November 25, 2009 – 12:43 pm by Jillian Madison 
Comment
Here’s to saying the things we’re all thinking – and then some.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Paula Deen’s Turkey Leg Bones Look Like SOMETHING ELSE---Introducing Rachael Ray Lunch Totes
---Introducing The World’s First Rachael Ray / Martha Stewart Painting
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
Glad I’m not the only one that finds Bobblehead’s husband odd.
Love it. That sarcastic turkey and I would get along really well.
Oh and for the record, Todd’s shirt is totally Fugly.
Michael Groover has one facial expression. It never changes.
I loved this! You should bring him back every holiday.
I would just like to wish Jillian and everyone out there a very Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving. May you be surrounded by a abundance of love, family and friends.
Dear God. I’m no fashion expert, but Todd’s shirt is one of the ugliest things my eyes have seen since 1982. Somebody burn that thing until it dies.
Happy Thanksgiving FNH!
Rachael Ray’s stupid husband (I call him that because I don’t feel like spelling his last name) reminds me of Al Bundy. I’m insulting Mr. Bundy with that comparison, but I see it nonetheless.
Rachael Ray and John Cusimano look so happy in that photo don’t they? That guy looks so grubby. I want to spray him down with my garden hose.
PS Tyler Florence looks like he is recovering from cataract surgery.
Giada must insist that Todd eats only teeny, weeny bites of food like she does. The shirt is ugly, for sure, but Mr. Giada looks positively emaciated.
Gay Ferry’s chins are taking on a life of their own.
Methinks Santa Claus isn’t looking at Pauler’s food. He’s eying her purse under the counter and waiting for her to turn her back so he can grab a few ten spots.
Giada is most likely regaling the viewing audience with stories of the many times that Todd has fondled her breasts.
Isn’t Todd a clothing designer? If so, that makes his shirt choice especially scary.
Oh lord. I saw that episode of paula today.
I’m hoping I’m not the only one that heard paula say the whole you can tie me up anytime thing at the end…..
ewww.
YES I caught that too just the other day! I just googled “Paula Deen ‘tie me up’ ” to see if anyone else said anything about it. Haha my jaw dropped and everything!
@Jillian: How about a “Sarcastic Santa” next month? Pretty please – with sugar on top!
Brilliant! LMAO
Didn’t Aunt Sandy say she didn’t like store brands in her angry interview?
YAY this turkey gets a pardon.
@Robert: She did. She also took on her critics. Apparently, she’s had enough of us.
@Alex: I’m glad she’s had enough of us because we certainly have had enough of her. Go away Aunt Sandy!!!
Haha – Pauler and Groover
No pants – it’s a GOOD thing !
@DI: Yeah! Next time someone throws a ham, it might hit the Captain below the waist! Ouch!
I think I’ve seen Todd wearing shirts uglier than that one.
Cap’n Groover does have only one expression; it’s a non-expressive expression.
Oh, sh*t! Paula Deen’s wearing the same top I bought at Dillard’s last year! That means EVERYBODY WILL KNOW it’s a fat girl top, from Dillard’s Women’s World section. BUSTED! It cost a bunch, too.
Jillian, my first thoughts were ‘this is briliant’, followed by ‘please, oh PLEASE, have one of these every holiday. Maybe a sarcastic reindeer, grumpy Cupid, pessimistic Easter Bunny etc lol.
My dad has those sunglasses, Tyler. They are the kind that GO OVER OTHER GLASSES!! otherwise known as Blu-Blockers.
Yikes, Not surprised he’s wearing them – he probably caught site of Todd’s shirt, above!
Happy Turkey Day!!
Jillian-PLEASE make Sarcastic Turkey The Food Network Humor Mascot! Name him Herman.
Happy Turkey Day Everyone and keep in mind the best cure for a Turkey coma is liquor!
Hmm….think think think…It sure looks like Giadas talking about her boobs. I can hear it now, “Hubby, so you think it takes this much to get your hands around them!”
Too cute and funny!
Since I broke into the Thanksgiving wine early, where is Martin on this? I could stare at his pic all day but then I’d be destitute and truly have to drink boxed wine, or none at all.
(Oops, did I just say that?)
I could never understand why FN involves the husbands of their talent. Why do we want to see the chef’s husband? Its a very disturbing trend and I fear we are going to see more and more of this.. UGH…
John Cusimano is definitely the most disgusting of the bunch. When I see him I change the channel… I’d love to see Jillian do some sort of a parody of him!
@BoxedWine – thanks for the compliment.. i think! :) I am still at work, just taking a break from seeing patients and writing up charts.
FUUUN Martin, I am finishing up work as well, counseling reviews. :)
I’ll keep my personal banter off here so as not to be rude.
Happy writing.
I’m lovin’ Sarcastic Turkey. Hope see more of him. Happy Thanksgiving, folks!
Has anyone noticed that Ray-Ray and her husband look eerily alike? Kinda creepy if ya ask me.
Giada and Todd are the typical So Cal skinnies.
Mr. and Mrs. DeLaurentiis both have extraordinarily large noggins. Mr. Rachael Ray looks like he hides bodies in the basement.
Add me to the votes for this becoming a holiday tradition on FNH: Sarcastic Santa (or Reindeer, whatever). Hilarious.