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Introducing The World’s First Rachael Ray / Martha Stewart Painting
Published on: November 15, 2009 – 11:16 pm by Jillian Madison 
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Let me state this up front: charity is good. We should all be charitable. We should all donate generously and help those less fortunate than ourselves.
Having said that, this Rachael Ray/Martha Stewart painting currently up for auction at CharityFolks.com IS WHAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF. I can’t stop staring at Rachael Ray’s droopy, mangled face. She looks like the deformed love child of Suzanne Somers and Ed McMahon. Good God, it’s terrifying.
Artist Dan Dunn created this lovely painting to commemorate the fact that Rachael Ray and Martha Stewart… (gasp)… went on each other’s television shows. Hopefully, that truly historic event will be added to all 7th grade social studies textbooks before the end of the year.
The bidding starts at a meager $1,000, but you can buy it now for $4,000. Or, you can just go donate some time to a local soup kitchen. You’ll be doing a lot of good, and you just might sleep a little easier without this thing in your house.
(Thanks for the tip, Alessandra!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Martha Stewart Tells Rachael Ray A Knock-Knock Joke---Ridiculous eBay Auction Alert: $4,000 Paula Deen Painting
---Thanksgiving Tips: Helpful DO’s and DON’Ts
---Introducing Rachael Ray Lunch Totes
---Thanksgiving Tips: Helpful DO’s and DON’Ts
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
OMG. I would not bid $1 for that. Charity or not. You’d have to pay me to take it.
I agree charity is a good thing but this painting is hideous!!! And the reasoning behind it is ludicrous. Of all the things to commemorate in the world, these two idiots going on each other’s television shows is so far down on the list it ain’t even funny.
When did Rachael Ray get Downs Syndrome?
Just in case Ray Ray’s face wasn’t nightmare inducing enough, there is that tiny white hand print on the bottom. WTF is that?
I want my mommy!
Dan, I shouldn’t have laughed out loud at that but I did.
The description on the auction site cracks me up. Is this guy for real:
The big moment is finally here — Martha Stewart and Rachael are together in the kitchen for the first time ever! It’s TV history in the making, and you can bid on a one-of-a-kind keepsake from the show!
Oh that’s a ‘chair squeaker!’. Love child of Suzanne Somers and Ed MaMahon. It’s true, monkeys can paint!
It’s 11:45pm here n NY. No bids yet. I’m so suprized!
Two drag queens?
Hm. I see Rachael uses Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon.
With any luck some generous individual will buy this and then burn it. Really killing two birds with one stone: helping a charity and ridding the world of this piece of, um, art.
What the heck is that?! I wonder if this was approved by RR or Martha. If not, I smell a lawsuit!
That’s a demented visual of Rachael.
Don’t look! It’ll burn your eyes!!!!!!
You didn’t mention the size of the painting –> its 6 foot by 6 foot. That’s huge!
I don’t know which would have been worse: Having viewed this last night before I went to bed, or seeing it first thing this morning and being stuck with the horrific image on my brain all day long?
Maybe the person who wins the bid will feel better after burning the painting and at least the money is going to a good cause.
BEAUTIFUL!! just put in a bid!!
This “artist” obviously has had YEARS of training.
I normally won’t mock creative work unless I can do better…. but NOTBEING AN ARTIST EVEN… I KNOW I can do better…
Shorter DesignerJeans:
It’s fugly.
Perfect timing. I’ve been looking for something to put in my closet to chase away the mice.
Got my bid in! NOT!
Dan Dunn, Paint By Numbers called. They want their painting back.
Comedic gold. The only way this could be improved upon is if it were a velvet painting.
I think it’s quite freudian that Rayray has what seems to be a giant wedge of wood stuck in her neck. Maybe Dan Dunn should stay at ‘the home’ a bit longer for a few more sessions…
Holy Mother of God. Rachel Ray looks like a massively hung over Maggie Gyllenhaal. Oh wait….even Maggie Gyllenhaal looks like a massively hung over Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Wow, looks just like them. What’s the current bid?
Why do Rachael’s eyebrows look like they’re extending past her face? And – I think my 6 year old could have done a better job reproducing their likenesses. :-\
If I were Rachael I’d buy that abomination myself and burn it so no one would ever see it again.
So Dan Dunn is supposed to be some famous caricaturist?
Oh dear. What has been seen can never be unseen.
My eyes and brain have been violated . . .
I just checked the auction…no bids yet. Wonder why??
Also saw that the proceeds benefit Yum-o. Interesting……
If the proceeds are for Yum-o, all I have to say is there’s going to be some pretty hungry kids waiting for that thing to sell.
Dan Dunn’s the guy who ‘finger paints’ as entertainment. Pretty apropos for FN chefs that he calls it paintJAM. He should’ve used chili for Ray Ray and butter cream for Martha.
I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. Having this image in my head isn’t going to help. Sigh. Nightmare city.
Some guy sitting around came up with this and thought is was a good idea? Better yet there are people out there who think that it is worth paying several thousand dollars for. And they get the same protection under the law as the rest of us!!
I work at a zoo, and our zookeepers perform “enrichment” activities with the animals in our care. Enrichment basically serves to teach and entertain. As part of the enrichment, the keepers give (non-toxic!) finger paint and paper to some of the animals and see what they can do.
I’m pretty sure that the elephant can do better than this, and he sometimes mixes the paint with his dung.
Incredible! Beginning bid is $1000. No wonder there are no bids yet.
My honey says it would make a good sign for an easel outside a bordello in Pigalle. One that wouldn’t have too many customers.
Lmfao at the bids never rising.