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Sandra Lee Celebrates: The Sobiloff Family
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And now, FNH presents
a brief photo recap of…
Sandra Lee kicked off the first of four holiday-themed episodes on HGTV tonight by throwing a party at the Sobiloff residence in New Jersey. The Sobiloffs wanted to do something special for their daughter Christina, who was coming home for the holidays after spending 2 years with the Peace Corps in Africa.
As it turns out, not only are the Sobiloff’s proud of their daughter, but they’re also the proud owners of the ugliest wallpaper and the most grandmotherly furniture this side of the Mississippi.
Within moments of arriving at the house, things got serious when party planner extraordinaire Sandra Lee whipped out her pro pack of colored pencils and started doodling tablescape ideas on a piece of paper:
After a few minutes, she stopped scribbling and shared her incredibly professional-looking masterpiece with the Sobiloffs. (Heads up, David Bromstad. There’s some competition on the horizon!)
At this point, I began to panic. Was Sandra Lee going to make the Sobiloffs a red velvet wheelchair ramp with red squiggles and “bitch logs” on top?! I’d have to wait to find out, because it was early in the episode and Sandra Lee still had plenty of other ugly crafts to create.
Question: what do guys in arm casts generally love doing? That’s right! Folding origami! So what better time to make Christina’s poor brother Michael fold dozens of origami shapes, so everyone could write little notes on them about how much they loved his sister?
After the origami was folded… after the roses were covered in glitter and hairspray… after the strings of white cotton balls were stapled to the buffet table… it was COCKTAIL TIME! And what would a Sandra Lee special be without footage of her chugging from a martini glass, gettin’ buzzed, and actin’ a fool?
In the end, the party was a success. The food looked tasty, the Christmas tree looked festive, but most of all, stoic Christina Sobiloff just looked eager to get all of these people the hell out of her house so she could finally spend some quiet time with her family.
CUE THE FAKE SNOW! IT’S A SANDRA LEE CHRISTMAS!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---8 Things You Never Knew About Sandra Lee---Merry Christmas from Sandra Lee
---Must Be Sandra Lee
---OPEN THREAD: Is this Sandra Lee’s Ugliest Christmas Tree Yet?
---VIDEO: Sandra Lee’s Drunk Christmas Tree
- Sandra Lee
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LISTEN TO THE LATEST PODCAST: Episode 20
THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.
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42 Responses
Those are some truly frightening screen shots of Sandra. I don’t know what’s going on with her face, but she looks almost like a drunken Jocelyn Wildenstein in the making.
I hope that trey of martini’s is enough for everyone and not just Aunt Sandy.
Oh! Jillian, I’m changing my e-mail to ‘bitchlogs’. You do do good lady, keep it up!
Please edit my opps! I thank you!
Wow, Aunt Sandy is even scarier in that YouTube clip than she is in the screen shots! Truly frightening, especially when she’s carrying that tray of martinis. Has she moved on to other drugs besides alcohol? Or has she just become even more insane?
I’m so glad the still of Sandy giving someone a high five was posted. Every time I saw that promo, it looked like Sandy was hammered. Hilarious
Brilliant post, Jillian. If this doesn’t demonstrate how far gone this woman is, nothing will. BTW that first screenshot makes her look like she wants her own blowup doll. And the fake tan!
So funny! Aunt Sandy is just a total mess. What exactly is her talent? Why does she have multiple television shows?
She looked utterly tanked when talking about the tablescape in the YouTube video. Then on some serious pharmaceuticals when she is running around with ‘her’ drink tray.
While all this was funny I laughed hardest at Boo’s post “you do do good lady”. OMFG! Need a courtesy wipe Jillian?
Super Simpleton Sandra.
I enjoyed the show, but I don’t understand what decorating a home has to do with honoring a family member. Maybe that’s just the best way Sandra/HGTV know how to give. This show was live blogged on Semihorrible. It was scathing, of course.
She looked tanked AND face lifted… what’s up with those screenshots?
And for the love of god does she act that way around her weekend childrens?
She’s like the movie 2012, in craptastic-craft form.
I think she must have gotten some sssssuper sssssimple, llllllllovely lllllllllllllittle chin implant or something lllllllllike that. She looks monstrous. Seriously. I’ve never been a huge fan, but I can remember back when she first started Semi Horrible she looked sort of cute-ish and fresh-faced. I’m remembering the opening credits where she billowed out that tablecloth, in particular.
She took the facelift too far.
Bruce Jenner is laughing at her saying, “Now THAT’S a bad facelift!”…
So…it is just me or does she look like Heidi from The Hills? Scary.
Look at the size of her mouth. Geesh. Alcohol much?
I still like her, she cracks me up. I don’t think even she takes herself seriously too often.
@Squarebob- I thought the SAME thing! She is the kitty version of Wildenstein’s full-fledged feline horror…it’s only a matter of time before the transformation is complete.
When I first saw the previews on HGee-Ya’ Think?-TV, the first thing that came to mind was that Aunt Sandy had had some really bad extensions. I mean why, Sandy, why?
This was the most gawd-aweful show she has done so far. I have seen some pretty lame stuff on HGTV but this takes the martini, oh I mean cake.
And could someone tell me why we had to have 40 recaps of why Aunt Sandy was giving this party? Every time we came back for a Glade break, I mean, commercial break – we had to get the fuuuuulllll recap. I am pretty sure most of us got it the first time.
BTW, can I get some of them Bitch Logs at Michael’s?
Wow…what is with that face when she is carrying the tray of martinis? Positively evil! Didn’t see the show but did she really have a cocktail by herself in the Sobiloff’s kitchen in order to get through the party?
Bitch Logs for everyone on my list this year!
holy hell, I saw part of this the other day and now I want to have a red velvet wheelchair ramp with bitch logs decorating the top.
Gee, I sure hope Andy Cuomo runs for governor. Imagine Sandy as the live-in governor’s consort (can she be called First Lady if they don’t marry, I don’t know). She’ll tablescape the heck out of Albany.
Re: that second to last frame.
“Awwwwww. I thought it was a —- in a box”!
The first pic is the Sandra Lee blow up doll– or, what Cuomo sees in the bedroom.
Fred.
They’ll call her the 1st Concubine.
Kurtin Kraft, bitches!
On a serious note, has Sandy had facial work? She looks like a barbie doll (and I mean plastic face skin that can’t emote, not body).
“..(can she be called First Lady if they don’t marry, I don’t know)..”
Presidents who have been bachelors or widowed have had women who acted as “hostesses” for White House and/or State events. If Sandra Lee and Andy Cuomo are still together – but not married – if or when he becomes Governor, I suppose she would serve as Hostess at events that require a “woman’s touch” ;)
I know drag queens with subtler make-up.
i hope the girl drank so much that she will repress this memory
Another comment…I believe she has botox’d her face. Her skin has a very waxen appearance and in the first picture (blow up doll shot), her brow is not furrowed.
Thank goodness I missed that show. But now I want to know where I can get some Bitch Logs. LMAO
Does she use those pencil crayons to apply her makeup? What a mess.
I’m far from being a Sandra Lee fan, but I have to say that she looks good with long hair! Oh yes, and I do think those martinis were all for her!
What in the hell was THAT?! The Sobiloff family must have been asking each other “what did we get ourselves into?”. Could it have been more about Sandra and less about the Sobiloff family? Go and buy 12 dozen roses at the florist? Really? What does that cost? $1,200?! Leave poor grandma in the kitchen to make 100 little tarts while Sandra trots off “to go change for the party”. Go change for the party must mean getting pre-loaded and drape crap on your head. What WAS that white garland on her head?! It reminded me of some holiday parties I’ve been to where people get loaded and start decorating themselves with tinsel and start just carrying around the Mistle Toe! It looks like Sandra’s family has rejected her because she’s now part of the Sobiloff family. They had better move and not give out their address. Or better yet – go into the witness protection program. YIKES!
Does she seriously have cotton balls draping over her head???WTF!
How many pounds of make-up was she wearing? T______T
When the producers ran this by her she jumped on board because she thought they said she’d be spending time with Smirnoff.
This show was taped in Cresskill…a very wealthy area near me. I’m surprised that classy people would actually welcome SL to their home!
This woman (Lee) is scary. I guess I can understand why her husband left her. He probably doesn’t like alcoholics. If I woke up in the morning with her resting her head on my arm, I’m afraid it (the arm) would become semi-chewed-off-at-the-elbow.
3 AM. Bitch logs. I couldn’t breathe, that was great.
No matter what Sandra gets into, she,s still one of the most darling girls around
Off Topic, but David Bromstad is sexy as hell.