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Things That Exist: A Guy Fieri Face Trivet
Posted by Jillian Madison

Move over, Ty-Flo. There’s some new ego in town.

Sunny Anderson joined Guy Fieri in the kitchen on today’s episode of Guy’s Big Bite. She grabbed a tray of veggies out of the oven, and Guy ordered her to “put it down on that trivet over there.” Imagine our horror when the camera panned left and we noticed this wasn’t just any ordinary trivet, but instead was a clunky metal trivet shaped GUY FIERI’S BIG UGLY HEAD.

Seriously??? Who has a trivet of THEIR OWN HEAD? Oh, that’s right, the same douchebag who SIGNS HIS OWN REFRIGERATOR.

Look at the pointy metal hair pieces on that thing! It doesn’t even look safe. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Sunny was having some fun and holding it up to her face when a 100% serious Fieri snapped, “Don’t you make fun of that. My buddy STRETCH made that for me.”

Oooooooooooh. His buddy STRETCH made that for him! Well, that makes it all okay!

Question of the hour: what’s more pathetic? The fact that this piece of shit trivet exists, or that a 41-year old man is hanging out with someone named STRETCH?

[Added bonus: later in the episode, Fieri gave Sunny one of his ugly squirt bottles. She said, "Thanks, I'm gonna take it home and put it on my bookshelf. Then I'm going to sell it on eBay." No one wants those stupid things, and Sunny had the nerve to call Fieri out on it on his own show. Priceless!]

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Things That Exist Solely To Torment Me: Guy Fieri Bobblehead Doll
---Guy Fieri Is The New Face Of Ritz Crackers
---Guy Fieri Now Has His Own Line Of Ugly Sunglasses
---Guy Fieri Lookalike On The Simpsons
---Guy Fieri: Flowmaster Pitchman

    46 Responses

  1. Zach says:

    “My Buddy Stretch”

  2. byrdie says:

    Ugh. How does this douche live with himself? Damn.

    Ya know, if he really wants trivet of his face, last weeks ‘Mythbusters’ froze a head in liquid nitrogen, then smashed it with a giant metal plate.

    Works for me….

  3. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    The trivet is better-looking.

    I can’t believe Sunny would even want to touch that thing, much less hold it near her face.

  4. Kristyn says:

    Look at that bad boy!

  5. Oh, I bet there’s a Dale Earnhardt trivet out there. Maybe even an Oprah.

    But I know for certain there’s this one, for those rabid Wolverine Alumni. Can you say: Grow up and move on.

  6. Scoobie-Doobie-Doo says:

    Yup, that’s going on the ol’ Christmas Wish List. Right next to the Knuckle Sandwich Active Wear and Whirled Peace.

  7. Alexis says:

    Earlier in the show, Guy tried to get her to use one of his knives. She was already using a knife but he still threw his ugly one at her. She was like, yeah nice knife, but kept using the one she had.

    He was a total dick to her about the trivet. She was just having fun with it!

    And I absolutely love the fact that she said she was going to sell his squirt bottle on ebay. What a total diss. I LOL’d.

  8. I like how she wanted a beer and of course, the dipstick didn’t have any and how he wanted “g” as in ginger to be “g” as in gangsta. what a pathetic wannabe tool.

  9. Automne says:

    I think I like Sunny now. I never really held much against her because she’s nowhere near as annoying as the rest of the FN personalities, but I think she’s a little awesome now.

  10. Patrina says:

    Hahaha, I think Sunny may loathe Guy more than you Jillian, who would have known.

  11. Syd says:

    Let’s say that the existence of the trivet is more pathetic than the name. Because, if you knew some the nicknames of my redneck friends… [breaks out in a sweat]

  12. Dick Black says:

    I’ll bet most FN personalities think Fee-Eddi is a total jackass as well. Maybe they look at Fee-Nasty as caricaturing the network.
    Squirt bottles are as useless as the sweatbands.

  13. Alex says:

    Sunny is just great. Blunt smokin’ and all.

  14. rjtaurus says:

    It shows what Guy f@ckhead really is, a money-grubbing fake.
    The same goes with the fuud network, fake all you can for the camera. A fake look, a fake lingo, a fake name, all so he can be on TV, OH his kids must be so proud!The sooner his “star” looses its shine the better. Then he will only be a distant nightmare. The one you can’t remember by the time you brush your teeth.

  15. byrdie says:

    Alex, let us not forget the puking out the car window too!

  16. Beans says:

    I saw this last week and just laughed my head off. What a tool.

  17. Lana says:

    It’s just a matter of time before this shows up in the next “What’s In Our Inbox: E-mails From FNH Readers” …

    “Where can I buy Guy Fieri trivets in Salisbury, NC area?”

    I mean, really. These things will be for sale on any minute. Signed. With a pair of sweatbands at no additional charge. Act now!

    p.s. I like Sunny too. :-D

  18. Alex says:

    @Byrdie: Ah yes, AND her ample bosom.

  19. BorgQueen says:

    How in the world can that thing be a safe surface to put hot dishes on?!?!?! Since it is an “officially licensed Guido Ferry item” it would have to be covered in sweat, grease and hair gel, rendering it smelly, slippery and hazardous, much like the “chef” himself.

  20. Alex says:

    Susie Creamcheese will be marketing the shit out of that trivet pretty soon. Marketing is necessary, but is truly successful only if done tastefully and professionally. Those are two adjectives Douscheman & Co. know nothing about. This reminds me, I HATE those advertisement pop-ups on the shows. It seems like they come up every minute. “All-New Barefoot Contessa NEXT” or “Buy Bobby Flay’s New Book at” Those little buggers almost always block what we’re supposed to be seei… Ohhhhhh! I get it now. They do that on purpose.

  21. byrdie says:

    Yer right, Alex. Forgot her boobs hanging out. What a disgusting cow.

  22. CherryRose says:

    OK, good peeps. My age is showing here, for sure, but there was a character named “Stretch Cunningham” on that antiquated TV sitcom, “All In the Family”. One of Archie Bunker’s most poignant moments in the long-running series is when he’s asked to deliver the eulogy at Stretch’s funeral not realizing that Mr. Cunningham was Jewish. Yeah, it’s dated and perhaps not relevant any more, but, Hey!, they don’t make TV like that any more. jmo

  23. Alex says:

    @CherryRose: I remember that episode. All In The Family is one of my favorite TV shows. As is Maude.

  24. BOO! says:

    OK EVERYONE! Softly hum “oooooommmmmm” until…..Repeat as necessary!

  25. Byrdie says:

    …And then there’s MAUDE!!

  26. FootLongSausage says:

    Now don’t be hatin’ on Stretch.
    He’s the guy that washes and waxes the stars’ classic Camaro and his Harley, cleans and presses Guys Harley costume and bowling shirts, and makes sure that Guy always has enough appetite inducing ‘crip’ weed to get him through the all day pig out that becomes a 30 minute show.
    He may even be the keeper of the peroxide bottle.
    Stretch will probably get his OWN TVFN show once his probation is up.
    Or his show will wind up on the Travel Channel, because of, well, you know. ;-)

  27. Di says:

    Guy’s posing antics do make you appreciate Sunny a whole lot more.

  28. Irxsk says:

    Guy’s had that trivet for a while now, he not so subtly shows it pretty often. I dunno maybe it’s just me, but I like Guy a lot more than Sunny, I guess it’s just that I might consider eating what Guy makes, but most of Sunny’s stuff seems a little too unappetizing for me.

  29. Di says:

    Just a general comment – their paychecks all get signed by the same person – so they just do and say what they’re told to.
    (says the cynic)

  30. Chocolate Chip says:

    Does anyone else feel that Stretch sounds like a pimp name?

  31. HollyDays says:

    Actually, that trivet is a really good idea. Who wouldn’t want to put a hot pan on Guy Fieri’s face?

  32. Squarebob Spongepants says:

    @Di. I couldn’t agree more. I may have to start watching Sunny’s show, “Keepin’ it Real” again! :)

  33. Kristina says:

    My dad is 49 years old, and his best friend still calls him “Stretch.”

    Keep in mind these two things, though:

    A. My dad is 6’4″.
    B. My dad’s best friend is NOT Guy Fieri. If that were true, I’d ask him to write me out of the will.

  34. I have a friend named Stretch also. He’s this little blue pill that also goes by another moniker.

    He helps out when I’ve really got a case of the whisky……

  35. qweedo’s friend stretch is a dwarf. who made a ridicurous pizza on gbb.
    I guess the cretin was interesting enough on 3d that guy invited him to his kitchen.
    he was a sculptor. surely I’m not the only one to watch that episode.

    the only good thing I can say about stretch’s monstrosity is the gweedo’s was worse.

  36. Trini says:

    Maybe at Stretch’s next arts and crafts class he could whip up a clue for his friend Guido.

  37. Ferd says:

    Ferry is a phony. I saw 30 seconds of DDD last night where he was pretending to know how to toast spices in a saute pan and it looked like he was going to toss them all over the kitchen.

  38. PsyInFeld says:

    Is it just me or did everyone’s eyes pop out of their sockets to see Fieri smooch a woman at a diner on last night’s DDD?

  39. Sarah says:

    Loser,Loser, Diner Douche bag. What freakin joke this cornhole has become.

  40. B-Diddy says:

    Thank you HollyDays! You read my mind!

  41. Kittykitty says:

    As far as Sunny’s show goes, I can take it or leave it. However, anybody who can gleefully take shots at that douchebag on his own show moves up a couple of notches in my estimation. Why, why, WHY would anyone buy a trivet in the shape of his fat, greasy face?!

  42. Ferd says:

    >>>>Why, why, WHY would anyone buy a trivet in the shape of his fat, greasy face?!

    Just because it’s fun to put a scalding hot pan on top of it? It’s like a voodoo doll, in a way.

  43. rocks67 says:

    Trapped at home with Bronchitis and nothing else on, I was “forced” to watch Food Network tv the past few days. On one of the Guy’s Big Bites, I swear, his two buddies were “Mkey G” and “Bags.” Excuse the “F” out of me??? What??? Who the HELL calls their buddy “Bags?” I don’t even want to begin to describe the visions this brought to mind. I’m hoping it was just hallucinations from the fever.

    This “Guy” is a real piece….

  44. Gypsie Rose says:

    This is awesome. Geez I effin hate that piece of shit. At least Sunny was woman enough not to take any of his shit and then burnt him later on in the show. No wonder I love Sunny she effin rox! LoL

  45. Gypsie Rose says:

    What’s even more worse is that he has bred and has children. Let’s just hope they learn well from their father THAT IS NOT OKAY TO BE A DOUCHE!

  46. mac says:

    I want to own a Guy trivet. I would love to put a screamin’ hot pan on his face.

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